Keep hope alive in your life…

April 2, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent February 6, 2019. Reposts of some of the blog posts of the late Rev. Jack Freed
“When the world says, ‘Give up,’ hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.” (Unknown) The Little Engine That Could reminds me of the importance of not giving up. A similar one is, “Never, never, never give up!”, said by Churchill during WW II. Every life has some tough times. We all, at one time or another, need some encouragement to hang in there, to keep on trying, and to keep fighting for what we know is right. 😉 Jack

Like most people, I suspect, when the talk turns to never giving up and hope, we tend to imagine tough times or big, important matters or great challenges. The truth is that our everyday lives are full of those little moments of decisions on whether to give up on something or someone or try one more time. In fact, our relationships in life are constantly being challenged by situations or decisions in which it might seem to be easier for us to make the choice to give up, rather than continue to deal with the issues or the other person.

Marriages are the perfect example of the need to “try one more time”, rather than give up. One might also “try to be more understanding” or perhaps “try to be more patient” also, but first one must “try one more time.” Hope in a marriage can be as strong as the love that brought you together and is sometimes stronger than love in keeping couples together.

Certainly, there are situations where the correct choice is to give up and move on. Abusive relationships should be abandoned rather than continuing to hold onto hope that the abusive partner will change. Maybe hope should whisper, “try something different” in that case. That is hoping for a better life, the life that you deserve.

I think it is important to keep hope alive in your daily life. Hope is a positive thing and having hope can put you in a positive frame of mind. Losing hope or drifting away from having hope in your life every day can lead to depression and despair.

Faith is based upon hope and faith can reinforce hope. Perhaps if one starts each day by touching base with their faith and gaining the reassurance that God is always with them it will help them renew and reinvigorate their hopes. If nothing else, a quiet moment of faith each day helps remove the fear of being alone in one’s hopes. Faith in God’s promise of life after death is the ultimate hope.

So, keep hope alive in your daily life. Don’t give up on things or people. Have faith and listen to the quiet voice of hope and “Try one more time.” You’ll be glad that you did.


Try giving some slack and a hug…

March 7, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent February 24, 2015.
“The ones who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it the most.” (Peaceful Warrior) When my sister would meet up with someone who wasn’t particularly likeable, she would bake a batch of cookies and give it to that person the next time they met. It’s surprising how often the relationship changed into a more positive one. I’ve found that angry people usually have other issues in their life, so I try hard to give them some slack. 😉 Jack


I’m sure that we have all met someone who is not very likeable, maybe even hostile. Is your immediate reaction to try to love them or to ignore them or to be hostile in return? It is not usually our knee jerk reaction to reach out and hug someone who is being unfriendly or unlikeable in some way.


Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-45 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven”.


So, Jesus wants us to go beyond just giving them a little slack. He wants us to love them, to pray for them, and I’m sure somewhere in there he wants us to forgive them if they have wronged us in the process of being unlikeable. I think it is important to keep the message from Peaceful Warrior in mind that these are people who most need your understanding, forgiveness and friendship.


Perhaps baking a batch of cookies for them would still work, but you can get started by just being as pleasant as you can towards them the next time that you meet. Avoiding them is not helpful to them or you. You must engage them if you are ever to find out what their real issues are. You have to go slow on that. Asking, “What’s your problem?” is more harmful that saying nothing at all. Whatever the issue or problem is will come out eventually.


Sometime just being willing to listen is the best approach. It is natural that people want to share whatever it is that is bothering them and causing them to act the way that they are. For unlikeable people the issue is often anger; anger at some recent event that they can’t change and need to vent about. Listen patiently and do not try to jump in with an answer or to say, “I understand”; you don’t. Just be empathetic and sympathetic and let them get it off their chest.


The process of venting and getting it off their chest is often cathartic enough to change them from an unlikeable person into someone who could be your friend. At the minimum, since they have unloaded their issue on you, you now represent someone that they can trust or at least talk to and that will change their approach to you.


Initially cutting them some slack at least partially defuses the situation; however, what Jesus commands and what Peaceful Warrior was pointing to is the need for you to take positive actions to love that unlikeable person and in the process help both of you.


Now get out there and find someone that you may think is unlikable and give them a hug.


Look for the value in others…

March 5, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent March 1, 2017

“Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” (Unknown) One of the things I like about Jesus is how he sees value in what some see as worthless. “Come to me, all you who are poor and heavy-laden.” He was criticized for hanging out with the riff-raff, but he did that because he saw the value in all. Remember…you have value, even if others don’t see it. 😉 Jack

Jesus saw the value in others because he took the time to look beyond the superficial surface that others saw and saw into their hearts. Sometimes the most honest person you’ll meet is the one who seems to have the least. They have nothing to be pretentious about and most times are thankful for what little they have.


As a society, to often we tend to judge the value of others based upon their apparent wealth or their position – in what we can “see”. We equate their “worth” with what they are worth in monetary or power terms, instead of their value as a human being.


If we take the time to think about it, those whose wealth or power is on obvious display deserve our pity more than our admiration or envy. In Matthew 19:24 Jesus said, “I’ll say it again-it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” Why? Because the rich man is burdened and blinded by all his possessions, wealth and/or power.


So how is one to evaluate the “worth” of someone else; how can we see their value. You cannot stand off and see or understand the worth of another person. The term “mien” describes what the world sees in one’s face when they are at rest or neutral about things. Most of us are unaware of the mien that our face presents to the world.


We might be surprised to learn that other people think we are unhappy or even mad, based on how our face looks when we are not trying to have any look at all. To find out how your mien looks, have a friend or family member take a snapshot of you when you aren’t expecting it. Did your mien surprise you?

The only real way to try to evaluate someone’s worth is to engage with them in conversation. One can tell quite a bit about the values, beliefs and prejudices of someone else by engaging in a serious conversation. Keep in mind that there is worth finding out about differing opinions that others have on things and different frames of reference from which they draw conclusions. Perhaps that is the real value of them – their different view of things. How boring life would be if everyone had the same opinions on everything. You don’t have to agree with them, but you may be forced to reexamine your own point of view.


So, rather than avoiding those who have different points of view on life, one should engage them and try to understand their perspective on life. You might even learn a thing or two about yourself. Look for the value in others to better understand your own value to others.


Let it heal…

January 13, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/13/25 – Originally sent January 13, 201
“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.” (Jon Sinclair) My temptation is to comment about tattoos, but Sinclair’s words are about failure and how to overcome it. Jerome Kern wrote: “When my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.” There’s book by Robert Schuller titled “Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do.” I’ve known some tough people in my life. Perhaps you have, too. They’re an inspiration for us to hang in there! 😉 Jack


I like the opening quote by Sinclair that Jack used in today’s Winning Words. Some people let the adversity or failures that they’ve had in life become tattoos for all to see and that defines them. Some, like people with tattoos sometimes do, cover them up so that others can’t see them; but they’re still there impacting their lives. Life’s adversities do not tattoo you; rather, they leave a bruise. Let it heal.


I’m not sure that I agree with the book title from Schuller’s book. The image that it conjures up is one of sucking it up and fighting your way through adversity, injury or disappointment. It seems to invoke an image of overcoming rather than accepting. The fact is that it (whatever it is) happened and there is nothing that you can do to change that. What you can change is how you react to whatever it is. Anger, denial, remorse or fear are all negative reactions. Toughing your way through it is just a self-serving form of denial. All of those reactions are based on the mistaken belief that you have (or had) some level of control over the situation or events. The sooner you give up that delusion the faster the bruise that the event caused can heal. Let it heal.


A good way to start the healing process is to admit that you are not in control, you cannot change the past, and you need help with the healing process. I use a simple little prayer to get into that state of mind – “Not my will, but thy will be done.” It is amazing how emancipating that little prayer can be. In one sentence you surrender to God’s will. I also use a little phrase that I remember from my youth – “a little help here.” God knows what help you need and was just waiting for you to ask for help. Let God help. Let it heal.


Perhaps we should add a little to Kerns advice – “When my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again and let the bruise heal.” In some big failures there may be a scar left after the healing, but that just adds to your character and wisdom. Move on and let it heal.


Heaven Help US…

November 4, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 11/4/24 – Originally sent October 17, 2016.
“Do not be afraid…for the Lord will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) Are you one who fears what will happen after Election Day? I ask you to reread the quote from Joshua. A new book by David Gushee has the sub-title, From Fear To Faith In Unsettled Times. Its purpose is to help the believer think through the societal changes of today and move from fear to faith. All sorts of fears can consume us. “Be not afraid…The Lord will be there after Election Day.” 😉 Jack

There is a large dose of irony to be found in the repost of the words that Jack wrote in 2016 on the eve of that year’s election. We find ourselves once again is the situation where Donald Trump is running against a female opponent, who would be the first woman to ever be elected to the Presidency. This year the first would also include that she would be the first female of color to be elected.

The world did not end after that election, but it certainly changed quite a bit. Your political preferences will dictate whether you view those changes as good or bad. The world will not end this year when the election results are in; however, it is likely to change significantly once again. What will not change is that God will still be there, no matter who wins. Perhaps times like this and the change like that which is to come that make the constant presence of God in our lives all the more important.

So, don’t panic this week if your candidate doesn’t win. Instead put your faith in God and remember that He is with you always. Turning to your faith is times like this helps put things into perspective. In Mark 12:17 Jesus said, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” Caesar represented the government back then. The political parties and the candidates make up government today. Just keep in mind that the things that are important –faith, love and family – come from God, not the government.

So, get out and vote; but remember “Do not be afraid…for the Lord will be with you wherever you go.”


Don’t stress out, get stronger instead…

October 1, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 9/30/24 – Originally sent September 24, 2021.
“It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable.” (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) Cardiologists use stress tests to warn people if they need to “slow down” before the heart reaches the breaking point. Many things, besides a treadmill, can put the heart under stress. Maybe it’s the job, listening to the news, or a relationship that’s not going well. Stress can cause misery, but it can also make us stronger. Athletes stress their bodies when training to be stronger when it matters. If you’re dealing with stress, try to build strength from it. It isn’t easy, but it can work. 😉  Jack

Let’s begin by admitting that much, if not most, of the stress in our lives is what might be called a self-inflicted wound. It is us reacting badly to what are largely imagined things. I’ve commented here many times about how wonderful the human mind is at imagining all of the possible bad outcomes to almost any situation. Imagination is a powerful human thing that has led to all sorts of useful inventions and discoveries; however, it has also led to many cases of psychosis and even to depression. Stress feeds our imagination and then feeds on what our imagination has conjured up. That is a powerful loop which is sometimes hard to break.

Stress is a fellow traveler with fear, anger, remorse, regret and other negative reactions that we have to life’s twists and turns, whether they are expected or not. Since stress is mainly self-imposed, it is usually up to us to deal with it ourselves. I have danced around this issue before. On August 8, 2015 posted “Dealing with Life’s Problems” and on August 3, 2022, penned the post “Dump Your Ego and Find Peace”. In both cases I was discussing how to deal with things that would cause stress in your life.

One of the keys to dealing with life and stress is to be able to Forgive Yourself. Which I posted about this on August 12, 2021. Since you may being stressed because you are beating yourself up about something that you did or maybe that you did not do; you need to forgive yourself before you can move on. Sometimes it helps to realize that God forgives you, whatever it is. And if God can forgive you, who are you to go against God’s will and continue to beat yourself up? Surrender to Gods will byu using the little prayer that I use in my posts quite often – “Not my will, but Thy will be done.”

If you can get top that point and honestly use that prayer, you will be surprised how quickly the stress fades away. You might also be surprised how much stronger you feel after that. Why? Because you have taken control of yourself by trusting God with your life.


Hang in there…

January 29, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/29/24 – reprises of posts from the late Pastor Jack Freed…


“If the mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.” (Quoted by Wintley Phipps) Many of us were fascinated in 2015 when TV showed two people climbing the sheer face of El Capitan, using only hands, feet, and a rope. They were able to succeed because small fissures in the rock allowed them to get finger and toe holds. There are some life problems that seem impossible to solve. Usually there’s a way. Keep searching, climbing…and keep hanging in there! 😉  Jack    
 
Originally sent April 11, 2016.

I also got this graphic today in another email –

One cannot climb a mountain or reach new heights without putting in the hard work. Sometimes that may feel like you are like a rock climber and just hanging in there by your fingertips. That too is part of the journey.

Life, like the mountain in Jack’s post, is not smooth and that’s actually a good thing. When you encounter a challenge or problem in life that seems to have no solution, look for that small crack or fissure that you can hold on to.

Perhaps you have nothing left to grasp but your faith. But faith alone can provide you with a solid toehold or fissure to grip. Faith can overcome fear and give you the strength and the courage to pull yourself up and go on. Faith can help you reach those new heights.

Keep the faith and hang in there. This is your year to reach new heights.


Revisit your plan…

October 13, 2023

Today’s graphic is a good reminder that we all need to revisit the plans that we have to achieve our goals. Stubborn persistence to a failing plan is just a waste of time and many times just gets you further away from achieving your goals by taking you down a rat-hole.

It is not second-guessing yourself to pause and take a hard and honest look at whether the plan that you have is working. What you may discover is that the plan was not detailed enough – you did not break down the tasks needed to achieve your goal into small enough steps, or perhaps you missed some steps that are critical to success. It’s time to adjust your plan when you come to that conclusion.

It may feel like you are going sideways as you recover and complete the steps that you had missed, but they may be required to really make any further progress. Sometimes you may conclude that the path that you were on is a dead-end, like going down the dead-end leg of a maze. The challenge then is to understand how far you may have to back-track before taking a different approach (path). It is frustrating to discover that you‘ve been wasting time pursuing a dead-end path; however, you must treat it as a learning experience and rededicate yourself to the goals and to finding a new path.

Sometimes, especially in life, you may find that your goals change over time. You realize with the wisdom of age that some of your “goals” were superficial. Perhaps you finally understand that pursuing ownership of things is much less rewarding and important than forgoing meaningful relationships.  Maybe you finally see that a bright and warm day brings you more happiness than more money in your paycheck.

If you are really introspective you will find that your relationship with God is far more important than anything here on earth. In the back of every person’s mind is the goal of something beyond death. There is only one plan that you can pursue to make that goal happen – belief in the salvation and everlasting life made possible through Jesus Christ. If that hasn’t been your plan, it’s time for you to change your plan.


Believe in God and believe in you…

August 2, 2023

After a win on he field we often hear athletes thanking “those who believed in me.” The truth is usually that they believed in themselves, and the others came along for the ride. People with self-confidence and belief in themselves and what they are doing tend to attract others – supporters and fans. That is true in athletics, in business and in life in general.

Another thing that I’ve observed about people who believe in themselves and their abilities is that they often have a strong belief in God and that God is in their corner in their efforts. You often see athletes stop and thank God after a success on the field. It seems that believing in God is the foundation upon which they build their belief in themselves. Perhaps faith in God is the first step to faith in oneself.

Having faith in yourself is essential in business, too, and in life in general. One who does not possess faith in themselves might spend their entire life in fear – fear of failure, which prevents them from even trying. A strong belief in God doesn’t necessarily take away all fears, it just allows you to deal with them better. With a strong belief in God, fear does not paralyze; instead, it raises a caution and causes one to stop and plan how to overcome whatever is driving that fear. That planning is always based upon moving ahead; not standing still, frozen in fear.

I have advocated here in the past that even a simple little prayer based upon a sports phrase will help. So, the next time that you are facing a daunting task stop and ask God for “a little help, here.” It will put you into a positive frame of mind and allow you to “see” the way forward. With that litel help from God you will have the self-confidence that you need.

Indeed, you will be halfway there.


Be happy…enjoy life’s scenery…

July 17, 2023

From the blog The Best of Jack’s Winning Words comes this bit of wisdom – “The truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.”  (Unknown)

We are in the midst of the orange barrel season of road repairs in Michigan, so I get to take lots of detours. I must admit that it may be easier for me to enjoy the scenery on those detours, because I seldom am in that big of a hurry to get somewhere these days. Being retired gives one that luxury.

What Jack wrote about in his blog was being happy with the scenery when life takes you on detours. As he put it “…the unexpected, the forced route changes. Maybe an illness, a job loss, a family problem.” We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. No matter how careful one is, diseases and illnesses can disrupt our lives and force detours. Our interaction with others almost guarantees disagreements on something and further unplanned side trips.

Our culture doesn’t help. Rather than embracing the advice that Jack gave to relax and enjoy the new scenery of a detour in life, we are cajoled to “fight through it”, to take a pill and carry on. Even worse, we have become so cynical as a society that we ignore the posted signs of trouble or danger ahead.

I live on a street that is undergoing major reconstruction. It has signs post a 1/2block away that clearly state that the road is not passible as a through street, yet I see cars all day ling driving around that sign and proceeding until they encounter the large machine or piles of gravel that completely block the road just beyond my driveway. Needless to say, they do not enjoy the scenery as the have to turn around and take the detour.

We tend to be like that as a society…ignoring the warning signs of declining health (both physical and mental) until it is too late or pushing ourselves beyond the limits that our bodies and minds tell us is enough, until we break down. Those breakdowns can be physical or mental, but the result is the same – you reach the point where you can go no further. Some turn around and take the detour, but others get stuck there and fall into depression. They are no only unable to enjoy the scenery of the changes in their life, they are unable to accept and deal with those changes.

Many of the detours that we take in life are self-imposed. They are trips down the rat holes of “what if?” We tend to waste a lot of time exploring the worst cases scenarios that our minds conjure up as we face something new or different or maybe scary. Perhaps if we treated it like we do a lottery ticket the scenery would look better. No one buys a lottery ticket and then spends the next hour thinking about how they will lose. They think (dream) about all of the wonderful things that might be able to do when they win.

One of the side benefits of having faith in one’s life is the ability to offload the fear and anxiety of life’s detours onto God, so that you can relax and enjoy the scenery of that detour. I use the little prayer, “Not my will, but thy will be done” to surrender to God’s will, so that I can focus on the scenery. There are always new things to be seen and understood in any crisis if one is not consumed by anger or fear or the pain of a loss.

So, when life throws a detour your way, check in with God through prayer and get God’s lottery ticket to a better life. You can then relax and enjoy the scenery of that little detour…you’ve got God as your tour guide.