Declare Dream Bankruptcy and move on…

May 22, 2023

This morning I happened upon an article written by Casey Rosengren titled “Why You Should Give UP On Your Dreams”. Since I have written so often about pursuing your dreams, I found this to be a compelling headline for an article that I just had to read. I’m glad that I did.

I have known people (and experienced first-hand) who wasted too much time in their lives pursuing impossible or unrealistic dreams. They are often very frustrated people and usually somewhat down on themselves or those around them whom they may think are holding them back from achieving their dream. The reality, as this article points out, is that they were obsessed and pursuing an impossible dream. Have you ever known people like that?

It is important every now and then to pause, look up from the grind that one has been dedicating themselves to in pursuit of a dream, and asked the question, “Is this dream realistic or is it even achievable?” That question is easy to ask, but sometimes difficult to answer. We hate to give up on a dream; however, the pursuit of unrealistic dreams can consume the dreamer to the detriment of the rest of their normal life. Better to declare what Rosengren labeled “dream bankruptcy”, let go of the failed dream and get on with life.

I’m sure that club pro Michael Block, who competed in the PGA major golf tournament this last weekend, at one time had the dream of playing on the PGA Tour. I imagine that every club pro started out with that dream; however, for every PGA Tour player there are a thousand club pros for whom that dream did not come true. Some, like Block, may get an occasional chance to play in a PGA event and a very few may even do well as Block did. Most club pros have come to grips with that reality and have become happy being able to make a living within the golf industry. They gave up one dream, but they are living another.

So, as you start a new week, perhaps it is time for you to look at your dreams with a critical eye. Has the pursuit of your dream become an obsession? Is your dream realistic? Are there some dreams that you need to let go of?  Are there adjustments to your dream that might make them more achievable? If you achieved your dream, what then?

Read Rosengren’s article and see how it might apply to your life. Maybe it’s time to declare dream bankruptcy for some of your dreams and move on in life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t cross the line…

May 17, 2023

There is a real danger lurking in the advice from today’s inspirational graphic.

It is all too easy to let your dreams become obsessions and take over your life. What can happen when that is the case is not pretty. Families get torn apart by the decisions that an obsessed dreamer makes. Time is devoted almost solely to the dream and family and friends are left behind.

It is OK to work hard to try to achieve your dream, but is should always be within the context of your broader life and not become your life. Don’t cross the line and let the achievement of your dreams become an obsession.

The other danger is the graphic is the word “hard”. Did you ever know anyone who lived by the mantra “work hard and play hard”? People who are some focused and intense at work and at “play” never really get the benefit of play and relaxation. One cannot work hard at all aspects of life without consequences – usually health issues.

So, I guess my thought would be that the advice in the inspirational graphic today is bogus. Having dreams and working to achieve them is a part of life but must be kept in that perspective – they must be just a part of your life, not that they become your life. Don’t cross the line and allow your dreams to become obsessions.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t stop thinking; start doing…

May 16, 2023

Far too many people begin each week by imagining reasons why they can’t achieve their dreams – they make up excuses for not even trying.

Successful people begin their week by reassessing where they are and thinking about what the next steps may be to making progress towards their dream. They revisit their dream as a long-term goal and then dedicate themselves to the short-term tasks at hand which must be accomplished to make progress towards the dream.

At the end of the day or the week they look back and see progress being made. They are happy to have been able to accomplish whatever smaller tasks were needed to make progress towards the ultimate goal – the dream. Sometimes, just like when you take the wrong path through a maze; they must admit that they have been pursuing a dead-end path and must back up and start anew. It is in those times that the strength of your commitment to the dream is most important.

If you have a dream that you cannot stop thinking about, turn that dream into a goal and then spend some time thinking about the things that must be accomplished in order to achieve that big goal. Make those things the little goals that you can accomplish in a day or a week or a month and t out to achieve that little goal. Celebrate those little wins and keep moving forward.

Keep thinking about your dream and start doing…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t go negative…

May 10, 2023

So, here we are at mid-week.

We started the week by suggesting that you give yourself a pep talk and rededicate yourself to achieving your goals. Maybe things haven’t gone the way you had hoped that they would, and you’ve suffered a setback. Resist the natural tendency to go negative and allow yourself to slide into the role of a victim.

That negative mindset of being a victim is a lure to trap you into a life of self-pity instead of the life that you envisioned. Resist that urge. Instead focus on how best to recover from this temporary setback. Ask yourself questions. What happened? What can you learn from the experience? What will you do differently next time you get to that point? If it helps, check in with God to make sure He is still there beside you on this journey. You can’t ask for a better co-pilot.

By focusing upon recovering, learning, and doing better next time you can remain in a positive frame of mind. You are continuing to make progress, no matter how small. You’ve got this!

The reason that you have got this is that you have stayed in control of yourself. You didn’t allow yourself to go negative and wallow in self-pity.

But wait.  There is more good news. You have two more workdays this week to make more progress towards your goals and a whole weekend ahead to relax and recharge.

Life is good!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Give yourself a pep talk…

May 8, 2023

OK, it’s Monday; not everyone’s favorite day. Hopefully you took the chance to relax, recuperate and reenergize over the weekend. Maybe you also had the chance to touch base with God at church on Sunday. Now it is time to rededicate. Bring your goals back into focus. Do whatever resetting you need to do in order to deal with any temporary setbacks and get moving forward again.

It is interesting that this graphic uses the words “together” and “we’. There’s some psychology at work there. Those words remind us that we are seldom alone in our pursuits. We always have God with us. We may also have co-workers or companions who may be helping or just rooting for us. Build on that strength and that thought that you are not alone.

Start the week planning for success. Break down big challenges into smaller, achievable steps. See the things that are standing in the way of your success as challenges that you will overcome.

Give yourself a pep talks and then imagine that like football players at the start of a college game, you are running through the tunnel and out onto the field – breaking through the banner at the start of the field. Hear in your mind the roar of the crowd. Everybody is rooting for you to win. So, get out there and rise to the challenge.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Stop and have a laugh…

May 3, 2023

I started this week with yet another “chase your dreams” post (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2023/05/01/dont-stop-thinking-start-doing/). I think it is important to always be striving towards achieving your dreams. That does not mean that you need to become a “heads-down”, super-focused person who is unable to laugh.

I also believe that finding ways to laugh and be less serious about life will add years to your life.  As a society, Americans have become way too serious about everything – unable to find the humor in everyday life and unable to find forgiveness for others and acceptance of differences with others.

A sense of humor seems to be missing from our political scene these days. Instead of a chuckle and the thought, “where do they get these clowns?”, we have taken their bizarre behavior and ridiculous statements way too seriously. Perhaps it is because they seem to be having an outsized impact on political decisions that impact our daily lives. In any event, the fringe people on both sides of the political spectrum have become less humorous and much more threatening. Perhaps if you start imagining them again as the clowns that they are it might help. If you just stop and listen to some of their ridiculous statements, you can’t help but laugh. These are not serious people and you should not take them seriously.

So. What are we to do? You can start by taking my advice from past posts to make a funny face in the mirror to start your day. Taking that moment to break out of your serious mode can lighten your mood considerably. Being serious does not always mean being stern or angry looking. Instead of walking around looking like you are passing a kidney stone; try walking around looking like you just heard a good joke or just got good news. People will see your smile or hear your chuckle and want to engage you to find out why you are so happy.

It’s mid-week as I write this, so stop and have a good laugh to help you get through the rest of the week. Stop and take a look in the mirror. Make a funny face and have a laugh. Seriously, stop and have a good laugh.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t stop thinking; start doing…

May 1, 2023

Start the week on a positive note. I’ve noticed that this is a recurring theme and tha’s a good thing.

Far too many people begin each week by imagining reasons why they can’t achieve their dreams – they make up excuses for not even trying.

Successful people begin their week by reassessing where they are and thinking about what the next steps may be to making progress towards their dream. They revisit their dream as a long-term goal and then dedicate themselves to the short-term tasks at hand which must be accomplished to make progress towards the dream.

At the end of the day or the week they look back and see progress being made. They are happy to have been able to accomplish whatever smaller tasks were needed to make progress towards the ultimate goal – the dream. Sometimes, just like when you take the wrong path through a maze; they must admit that they have been pursuing a dead-end path and must back up and start anew. It is in those times that the strength of your commitment to the dream is most important.

If you have a dream that you cannot stop thinking about, turn that dream into a goal and then spend some time thinking about the things that must be accomplished in order to achieve that big goal. Make those things the little goals that you can accomplish in a day or a week or a month and t out to achieve that little goal. Celebrate those little wins and keep moving forward.

Keep thinking about your dream and start doing…

1 Comment | Inspiration | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner