What do you enjoy?

September 25, 2021

A quote that I saw in an email of quotes that I get daily struck me as being really true – “Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” – Jean Antoine Petit-Senn

Many people get wrapped up in accumulating money or possessions, yet never find enjoyment in either. Other people can be very content just taking a hike in nature and enjoying the flora and fauna theat theta walk past. I know people who enjoy reading for hours at a time and others who can’t sit still for five minutes.

What do you enjoy? If you have a favorite possession, do you enjoy being alone with it or do you seek someone to share it with or show it off to? If you have a motorcycle, is it the cycle itself or the time you spent riding it that you really enjoy? If you like to read, is it the ability to lose yourself in the story that is really the enjoyable part?

I know a man who enjoys making birdhouses, so much so that he barely has finished one before he starts another. It is the joy of creating the birdhouse more than actually having a birdhouse in the end that he enjoys. Do you know someone like that? Are you like that?

Many people will tell you that what they enjoy is doing things with other people. Sharing experiences provides us the opportunities in life to meet and interact with others. Some people, however, can find a way to be alone in a crowd. They probably would prefer to be out on that hiking tail by themselves, but they may take some enjoyment out of watching others.   What about you? Do you enjoy being around others and joining into activities or do you stand back and observe what others are doing?

Sometimes possessions that we have may, in fact, be a source of enjoyment. Stamp or coin collectors seem to experience hours of enjoyment just looking at, or perhaps re-arranging, the stamps or coins in their collections. Almost all collectors find enjoyment in spending time with their collections and even more enjoyment out of the quest to add to the collection. Do you collect something? Do you enjoy spending time with your collectables?

For many people the enjoyment of family, especially large families, is what constitutes their abundance. There have even been TV shows about large families and how their interactions seem to bring enjoyment. Are you from a large family? Was that enjoyable for you?

I guess what falls out of most of this is that experiences, whether shared or personal, are more important than possessing things. Things may be a part of the experiences; but, in the end, it is in the doing rather than in the owning that bring joy.

What will you enjoy doing today?

How do you handle stress?

September 24, 2021

Pastor Freed focused upon stress in people’s lives today with this quote in his blog – Jack’s Winning Words.

“It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable.”  (Mihaly CsikszentmihalyiIn)

Whether it is a real emergency situation or just pressure that you put on yourself. Too many people let stress get to them in ways that can ruin their health by giving them high blood pressure or other stress-related health problems. My dad had ulcers primarily because of stress. His reaction to stress was heartburn and he probably kept Tums and Rolaids in business. I occasionally suffer sleepless nights due to stressing about something – usually something that is beyond my control anyway. How do you handle stress?

As I’ve grown older, I have developed more ways to deal with stress without panicking or letting it keep me awake at night. A piece of advice from a friend during a time when I was stressing after the fact over something that I could have done better helps me now. He listened to me beating myself up for a few mistakes and said, “Nobody died.” That stopped me cold, as I realized that I was making something that was really trivial in the grand scheme of things into something stressful. He was right. Whatever small mistakes I had made had not caused anything serious – nobody died – and it really didn’t matter all that much. Many of the things in life that we stress about fall easily into that category.

There is another saying that I picked up somewhere – “When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” Unfortunately, that is the reaction that many have to stressful situations. It is a panic driven flight mechanism. Stressful situations require exactly the opposite reaction – a calm and logical approach that assesses the situation that allows one to plan their response to deal with it. If you can train yourself to go into planning mode instead of panic mode when faced with stress, you will be much better equipped to deal with life’s unexpected events. I’ve written here before about airplane captain Sully Sullivan’s response to the highly stressful situation that he faced when he lost both engines of his plane shortly after take-off. He said later that he had been training himself all his life for just that kind of moment.

One can train for dealing with stress by thinking ahead of possible situations that might occur, without letting that thought process become obsessive or disabling. Another thing that you can do to avoid stress is not to get down on yourself for things that you really can’t control. It recently rained where I live for three days in a row. It would have been easy to stress out about how that impacted things that I might have had planned, but what good would that do. Worrying about it would not have made the rain stop; it just would have made me more miserable.

One key to dealing with stressful situations is a thoughtful approach to them from a solid foundation in your life. That solid foundation is built on the strength of your belief in God. I won’t quote here the hundreds of Bible verses that could bring you comfort in times of stress, but the most helpful is from Matthew 28:20 – “I will be with you always even unto the end of the world.” You are not alone, and you have God on your side. What else do you need to reassure yourself that you will get through whatever stressful situation you are facing? You may not profit from misfortune, but you do not have to let it make you miserable either.

I cannot in good conscious wish you a stress-free day; that isn’t likely to happen; however, I can hope that you will take a better approach to dealing with that stress and still find a way to “Have a Great Day”.

Are you making progress?

September 21, 2021

I’ve had this quote hanging around for some time while I thought about what to say about it – “Progress is not created by contented people.”  (Frank Tyger)

I don’t think Tyger was referring to malcontents who cause trouble for others, but rather about those people who cannot be content until the get the answer to the question “Why” or maybe “Why not”. These are people whose curiosity and drive will not let them rest until they find out the answers to those types of questions. They are the inventors and scientists, the explorers and adventurers, the investigators and questioners who are not content to leave stones unturned or avenues unexplored. They cannot be content until they find the answer to the question of why something happens or doesn’t happen or see what is over the next horizon. It is through their insatiable pursuit of answers that mankind’s progress is made.

For many the desire to explore may lie in books that are devoured with a zest. For some it may be the pursuit of athletic excellence and not being content with the thought that this is as fast as a person can run or as high as they can jump. Why? Why can I not run faster or jump higher? What is the limit of my personal best?

Some businesspeople never seem to be satisfied with the amount of success they have achieved or the amount of money that they have made. They are always striving to expand into more products or services or to become even more dominant in their field. For them the money is a secondary benefit. It is the pursuit of the answer to the question “Why not” that drives them.

Most “normal” people may not be as focused upon specific goals like athletes or business leaders but all of us have things that we may not be content about, be it our jobs and what we earn or maybe our personal relationships. We may not yet be focused upon that discontent enough to do something about it, so it just sits there festering and causing us unhappiness. It is only when we can focus upon it enough to identify what we are unhappy about that we can begin to formulate a plan of actions to make progress.

At first the “problem” or roadblock that we are facing can seem overwhelming. That is usually because we are trying to think of a way to overcome it in one big leap. That just doesn’t happen with most roadblocks or challenges. Problems must be broken down into smaller steps which can be accomplished one at a time. Sometimes even getting started on solving the problem requires preliminary steps that may not seem like they are leading to progress but are required none the less – like pursuing a college degree or certification as a pre-requisite to getting a new job. There are tons of lifestyle changes that world-class athletes make in pursuit of their goals and there may be some required of you to achieve your goals, too.

Patience and persistence are required, too. Winning athletes will often recount the endless training sessions that they went through get to their moment of success. You too will have to be persistent in your efforts to achieve your goals or overcome your roadblocks. You must also remember to reward yourself each day for whatever small progress you made that day towards you goal. Maybe add to your nightly prayers, “Thank you God for helping me get another day closer to achieving my dream.”

If nothing else in your life is leaving you a bit discontented, perhaps just the pursuit of being the best person that you can be should become your goal. At the end of each day, you can reflect on the actions that you took (or didn’t take) and resolve to do better tomorrow. It may not be possible to achieve perfection, but that is no reason to accept imperfection. Don’t be content with your imperfections, resolve to make progress. Like the U.S. Army tag line –“Be the best that you can be”.

Don’t be content. Make progress.

Listen for the clicking…look for the twinkle…

September 20, 2021

In his Jack’s Winning Word blog today, Pastor Freed commented on a recent finding in a  BBC study that plants apparently “talk” by clicking when they are being talked to. Reportedly, they click faster and louder if being talked to nicely. That led Freed to use this quote from an unknow source –

“If speaking kindly to plants helps them to grow, imagine what speaking kindly to humans can do.” 

I’m pretty sure that I haven’t heard anyone that I was talking to clicking away, but I also know that you can see a certain twinkle in people’s eyes if you are saying nice things, especially about them. I think children in particular need positive reinforcement to grow. Speaking kindly to children and find ways to praise them for the good things that they do helps them build confidence in themselves and keeps them headed in the right direction. Even in times when less friendly words must be used to correct a misbehavior, parents should find a way to add some encouraging words of love and forgiveness to reassure the child of their love for them. Speak kindly to them and look for the twinkle in their eye.

In our day-to-day lives there ae many instances when the easy thing to do would be to criticize someone for their actions; but, what good would that really do? Finding a way to correct a mistake or change someone’s behavior without using harsh or belittling words is tougher than just blurting out an admonishment; however, it is worth the extra effort. “Putting someone in their place” may seem to be the thing to do, but it just puts them outside of your reach. You lose the ability to help them see the correct behavior when you alienate them by placing yourself in the roles of judge and jury. It is better to suggest that a different behavior might bring a different result – one that is more beneficial to them. Speak kindly to them and look for the twinkle in their eye.

Every so often we encounter bad behavior from someone who is angry at the moment. In those situations, acting and talking kindly is the thing to do One can commiserate without agreeing with the position of the angry person and try to calm them down enough to let reason take over again. I have noticed over time that remaining calm and collected while those around you may be in a frenzy has a calming effect on everyone else. Sometimes that is called “the calm voice of reason.” So, when you encounter that person who is being driven by anger, speak kindly to them and look for the twinkle in their eye.

I’ve tried to imagine sitting in a field of flowers and listening to them clicking away as I speak kindly to them. I haven’t been able to hear that yet, even in my mind; however, I have experienced the positive impact of choosing to speak kindly to people and I have seen the twinkle in their eyes. Have you? Try it today. Choose to speak kindly to people and look for the twinkle in their eyes. And if you happen to hear some faint clicking in the background that is probably just some happy nearby plants that overheard your kind words.

Have a great and kind week ahead. Look for the twinkles and listen for the clicking.

What do you stand for?

September 17, 2021

Pastor Freed used this quote today – “Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others,” (Groucho Marx)

Freed when on to write about having principles – things that you stand for and which drive your behavior in life. Principles are things that matter. Just this morning I again placed on my front lawn a sign with a quote from Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

Interestingly when I looked that quote up there is some controversy about whether he actually ever said those exact words. It is credited as coming from his I Have A Dream speech, but it actually a paraphrasing of a sermon in Selma, Alabama, on 8 March 1965, the day after “Bloody Sunday,” on which civil rights protesters were attacked and beaten by police on the Edmund Pettus Bridge:

A man dies when he refuses to stand up for that which is right. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice. A man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true.

King was talking about principles and what we stand for. He was saying that it is not OK to look away when we see injustice or to accept unacceptable behavior towards others. One cannot selectively choose which principles we will apply that day or in that instance. We cannot say, as Groucho said, if you don’t like my principles, I have others. If you do not stand on your principles, you step onto a slippery slope and fall. There is no half-way with principles. It’s like what Bob Dylan said about religion, “You either got it or you ain’t.” So, you either got principles or you ain’t.

A scary aspect of modern life is that too many people are taking a stand for things that just aren’t true. That is what drove the invasion of the Capitol…people actually believed the big lie that was being circulated about the election. Now, misinformation and conspiracy theories are driving the resistance to what should be a “no-brainer” decision to get vaccinated against a deadly pandemic. How many death-bed regrets must we see on TV from non-vaccers before people change their minds and do the right thing?

So maybe we should be saying to ourselves and others, “These are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, sorry but that’s how I’m going to live my life.” However, even that is not enough. We must continue to try to convince others to do the right things, too. Standing passively by and watching others commit injustices or doing the wrong things makes us accessories to their actions. In that inaction we die a little because we have not stood up for our principles.

Take time to think about that for a moment…what principles are you willing to stand for? What ae you doing about that?

Be careful with your words…

September 14, 2021

Pastor Freed used this quote today in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.”  (Unknown)

Also today’s quote of the day from a site that I get a daily feed from had this quote –  “To be careful with people and with words was a rare and beautiful thing.” (Benjamin Alire Sáenz)

Both contain great advice about watching what you say, or at least being more aware and careful about it.

Freed went on to write about his Swedish Uncle John admonishing a then sassy child to  “Tyst med du!” which meant, “Be quiet!”, in Swedish.

Sáenz related a story that he had written about a child named Ari who’s father came back from the View Nam war a changed man, seemingly uncommunicative and very careful with his words. Ari came to appreciate his father’s careful choice of words when he did speak.

We should all be more careful about what we say, instead of just blurting out the first things that comes to mind. Maybe that is why we need the Lord to keep his hand over our mouths. Invariably, when I stifle the urge to blurt something out in reaction to an event or person, I quickly realize how inappropriate, or maybe even hurtful, it would have been to let that thought fly out of my mouth. Does that ever happen to you?

I have noticed the trait in some people to give thoughtful consideration to what they are about to say and the words that they will use. President Barack Obama was one of those people. If you watched him closely, you could actually see that he was considering the words to use when answering a question or making a statement. I suspect that some of that was his legal background.

Being careful about what you say, and about the words that you chose to say it, requires the discipline to stop and think before using your mouth. People may think of you as being deliberate and that is a good thing. Spontaneity is a good thing if you are cheering for a great play in sports; however, it can be a dangerous thing if you engage your mouth before engaging your brain in response to someone’s question or statement.

The book of Proverbs in the Bible is a rich source for advice about our words –

Proverbs 15: 1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but hard words stir up anger.”

Proverbs 15:4 “Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

Proverbs 18:20 “Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person’s lips bring satisfaction.”

Start your day by adding the line from Jack’s Winning Words to your prayer and imagine throughout the day that the Lord has his hand on your mouth. Take time to think before you speak, and the Lord will remove his hand. Bring satisfaction from the words that you let slip during the day.

Keep looking for the rainbows in life…

September 13, 2021

We tend to associate rainbows with the beautiful and positive things in life. Here are two quotes that I had in my collection of quotes about rainbows –

“If you want to see the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”  (Dolly Parton) Parton

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you are looking down” – Charlie Chaplin

Dolly reminds us that there will be hard times in life, but that there is often a rainbow at the end of each hardship. We must persist through the tough times to get to the good times. Having the attitude that you will get through whatever you are facing and continuing to look for the rainbow at the end is made easier if you recall the words “…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

It is in that peace, just as in the calm after the storm, that you will often find the rainbow.

Chaplin’s quote reminds us to keep our heads up and not get down, during difficult times. If you walk through life with your head down, you will miss seeing the rainbows in your life. Always be looking for the good things in life (the rainbows) and you will find them. Ziggy Marley put it this way, “There’s a rainbow in the sky, all the time, don’t be blind.”

An even better approach to life was suggested by poet Maya Angelou – “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Imagine how good it would feel to be the rainbow in someone else’s life. Keeping your head up will allow you to see those opportunities, too.

Yes, there will be rain in your life – failures or disappointments, setbacks and even the deaths of loved ones. However, if you keep the faith and keep your head up, there will be rainbows, too. Keep looking for those rainbows and keep being a rainbow to others.

History lesson…

September 12, 2021

“We learn from history that we do not learn from history.”  (Georg Hegel) 

I’ve had that quote around for a week or so and it seemed to be appropriate for this weekend, with the anniversary of the attack on America by Osama Bin Laden’s Al Qaeda that took 2,977 lives that day and which has claimed many more since from the ranks of first responders.

It has been 20 years since the American response to that attack was to launch the “War on Terrorism” which, considering our recent embarrassing withdrawal from Afghanistan and the reemergence of the Taliban, has largely been as unsuccessful as the War on Poverty, the War on Drugs or the efforts to end racism and discrimination in America. The protagonists in these wars, whether from outside or within, have all discovered that the best route to defeat America’s well-intentioned, if ill-conceived, wars is through patience and persistence.

There have been many articles written about factors that cause these failures, mostly about how ill-defined the goals were to begin with and about the constant “mission-creep” that kept re-defining what or who it was that we were fighting or the reason that we were even fighting.  However, one of the most obvious is the lack of political will to see these “Wars” through to a conclusion. I hesitate to use the word victory, since that word has so often been usurped to cover our eventual withdrawals from the fights.

Even now, we are fighting wars on several fronts against cyber attacks mainly from outside our country, but from a few internal sources, too. We are also fighting an unseen enemy in the form of a pandemic that has turned us against ourselves with disastrous consequences. Diseases like other enemies patiently wait for us to let our guard down and then swoop back in to claim more lives.

Even Nature, to whom we assigned the benign personality of “Mother Nature”, is now exacting a terrible toll in retribution for our wanton disregard for the planet. I’m not sure that we ever declared “war” on global warming, but if we did, we are losing that war, too.

What have we really learned from the history of these failed wars? Hopefully that loud thumping of our chests as we declare “War” and military might alone does not assure victory; and perhaps that vigilance and preparedness are never-ending requirements for our nation’s safety. Both require patience and persistence, plus political will.

In our fights against diseases and global warming our efforts have been disrupted by misinformation or, even worse, by disinformation. So, we must also work to get back onto the team those whose “beliefs” have replaced the facts and work harder to combat the bad players who spread misinformation and conspiracy theories in place of the truth.

Perhaps Hegel is right that we don’t appear to learn what we could from history. We cannot change history anyway. But we do have choices in front of us that can change the future. Have we at least learned that? I hope so.

Where do you turn for comfort?

September 10, 2021

Pastor Freed took us all back to our childhood days with his quote in today’s post to his blog, Jack’s  Winning Words – “I miss the days when all it took to make me feel better was my Teddy Bear.”  (Unknown) 

As children, many find comfort or relief in some familiar physical thing, be it a Teddy Bear or maybe a soft crib blanket, like Linus in the Peanuts cartoon. When we grow up our Teddy Bears and blankies are left behind and many don’t seem to find a new way to make themselves feel better – something to turn to for comfort and maybe reassurance in tough times.

Unfortunately, many turn to alcohol or drugs when seeking relief in in times of stress. Some don’t find any way out of the situations that they find themselves in and sink into depression.

However, there is always someone to turn to when you need comfort, because God is always there.

Finding comfort in troubled times is really about being at peace and the best way to be at peace is to surrender to the comfort of God’s love for you. If you tell yourself that no matter what it is that is troubling you, God loves you and will help you get through it, you will feel the peace of the Lord settle over you like a warm embrace.

There is a peace that surpasses all understanding out there for you if you just reach for it. So let go of your Teddy Bear or blankie and turn to God for comfort and peace in times of trouble as well as in the good times.

Peace be with you.

Who are you pretending to be?

September 6, 2021

Psychologist Carl Rogers said – “What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.” Rogers specializes in helping people be themselves unashamedly and confidently. That begs the question that forms today’s headline – who am I (or you) pretending to be?

It is not unusual to see young people – girls and boys – dressing like their heroes and maybe trying to talk and act like them. After all, youth is a time when we are still trying to decide who we are and what we want to become. Hopefully one can come to grips with the who we are part and accept themselves, so that they can move on the who we want to become part. Some never do and spend their lives trying to live as someone else. They are pretending.

I’ve posted here several times about loving yourself, accepting who you are and moving on with life. That is an important first step to take before you can truly love others. An important precursor to loving yourself is accepting God’s love for you. If God can love you, who are you to question his judgement? So, get in touch with God and accept His love and then you can get in touch with yourself and love who you are. You don’t have to pretend with God or with yourself.

I think it is OK to have heroes, so long as what we try to emulate about them are the good characteristics of who they are – their moral character – and not just pretend to be them by dressing and talking like they do. There is no benefit that accrues to you by looking like your heroes, but there could be great benefit from emulating their focus and resolve, their willingness to work hard to achieve their goals, or their kindness and generosity.  

That makes it all the more important to choose the right heroes to begin with. Choosing to model yourself after a villain, whether a movie villain or a real-life bad guy, is a receipt for disaster in life. Sometimes that choice is subtle, like going along with something that you know is wrong, just to get along with someone that you idolize. Many got into drugs that way, by following their rock and roll heroes down that path. That always ends badly.

So, ask yourself if what you are doing is the real you or are you pretending to be someone else? Try being the real you, making your own decisions about what to wear and how to act. You might be surprised to learn that, if you portray the real you, you could become someone else’s hero? Imagine someone trying to be like you. Would you be happy about how they are acting?  

Who are you pretending to be? Try openly being you – that’s good enough for God and it will be good enough for everyone else, too. Try it, you’ll like it.