Imagine a different future…

July 14, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/14/25 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed – Originally sent March 2, 2021.

Picture of Jack Freed

“Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; and let go of what you can’t change.” (Posted by Carrie Goldring) Carrie is a friend of mine and writes regularly about how to cope after divorce. Divorce can be a roller coaster ride, creating stress, anxiety, and fear. Relaxed exercise helps keep a mind ready for making decisions. While it’s certainly hard to abandon a dream, sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future. 😉 Jack

 I always get inspiration from Jack’s posts and today’s repost is a great example of why. Jack’s posts almost always related something about how the saying for that day can be used in our daily lives. He also almost always threw the ball back into the reader’s court to figure out how it related to their life.  Imagine a different future.

I’ve posted here quite often about letting go of the past and moving on, but I like the way that jack put it – “sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future.” Many of us spend too much time lamenting things from the past or imagining all of the things that could go wrong with something in the future. Imagine a different future.

If you would like to read my advice for letting go of things, please refer to:

https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/08/03/dump-your-ego-and-find-peace/ or maybe https://normsmilfordblog.com/2020/08/12/let-it-go-spit-it-out-taste-the-joy/

In sports this is called visualization. Professional athletes, especially pro golfers spend some time before each shot visualizing (imagining) how the shot will go – the trajectory, the landing and the backspin. They “see” the shot before it happens and then they try to execute the shot as they have imagined it. Imagine a different future.

Many motivational speakers will tell you that you can do the same thing in your daily life. Whether it is attending a meeting or making a sales call or just how you will react or act when encountering someone else socially or on a date; you can imagine that event and see it as you would like it to occur. This “preloads” the desired outcome into your mind and prepares you to keep things moving in the desired direction by making good decisions that support your desired outcome, in case there are any glitches.  Imagine a different future.

Perhaps we can best sum up what Jack found helpful in Carries quote by adding Jack’s thought to it to make it read – Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; let go of what you can’t change; and imagine a different future. When you do that, if you can do that, your life will change for the better. Life can be what you imagine it to be if you let it. Imagine a different future.


Where will you find inspiration?

June 21, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally posted 1/15/21- Reprints of posts to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed

“You can look anywhere and find inspiration.”  (Frank Gehry)  Vanity Fair named Gehry the most important architect of our time.  His quote today became a challenge for me to look around…  What can give me inspiration?.  My hand?  Max Lucado’s book, Wonderful?  How about the waste basket?  I decided on the keyboard’s delete key.  What if there were a delete key for life mistakes?  When it comes to our “sins” God has a delete key on His laptop, too.  😉  Jack

As you have probably noticed if you have read this blog for any time, I used to find much of my inspiration for posts to this blog by reading the daily blog posts that I got from the late Pastor Jack Freed. I would usually expand on the topic from the 2-3 sentences that Jack used in his posts. When Jack passed, I was at a loss for inspiration for a while and my posts to my own blog waned. Then his son started reposting some of his best posts and I again found inspiration in those reposts. I also remembered that I had saved most of the emails that Jack sent with his daily posts in them, like the post above. Where will you find inspiration?

I like Jack’s analogy about the keyboard’s Delete key. Many apps also have an “Undo” feature that backs things up in the workflow to a point before the present and lets you try again. That would certainly be helpful in life, wouldn’t it? However, life doesn’t give us “do overs”. Instead, the best that we can do is to let go of the past and move on.  Sometimes what we need is a little inspiration to get us started again. Where will you find inspiration?

Inspiration doesn’t have to be writing blog posts. You may be inspired to do some work around the house or maybe to do some volunteer work. It could be that you are inspired to go visit somebody or maybe call them. It doesn’t matter what it is; inspiration is that little push that you need to get you started towards some goal. Where will you find inspiration?

Ideas, dreams or desires often turn into inspiration once you get past the inertia of doing nothing about them. Guilt about something that you did or remorse about something that you didn’t do can also inspirate some action to correct things. Many laws have been passed and charity foundations created out of work that was inspired by a loss or tragedy. Some find inspiration in prayer. I like the little prayer I saw recently – “Lord help me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.” Everyone should be inspired by that. Where will you find inspiration?

Look for it and you will find it. Where will you find inspiration?


Focus on the goodness…

June 16, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent June 16, 2009.

“Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.” (Regina Brett) Brett’s quote is a reminder that expecting perfect equity often leads to frustration. But when we separate the idea of “fairness” from “goodness”, we recognize that even when we’re dealt an unfair hand, there are still positive experiences, growth and beauty in this world. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight for justice, but we can’t let it block out the goodness in life. Have a good day! 😉 Jack

Life seems to have lots of loud things, often bad things, that vie for our attention and quite often drown out the good things. Bad things can be like flash-bang grenades. They go off in our faces, command our attention and sometimes they blind us to the good that is still there. They are the “Hey, hey look at me” things that distract us and which can consume us if we let them. People who experience depression get stuck focusing upon the bad things and can’t see a way out. It’s like being in a long dark tunnel. Yet there is always a little light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Hope. Focus on the goodness.

I wrote about the light of hope for depression back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/01/05/hope-supplies-the-light/ so I won’t repeat myself here. This post is not about depression; it is about focusing upon the goodness of life in your everyday life. That is a great way to balance out all the bad noise that can seem to be all around. Focus on the goodness.

The good news is that the goodness of life is all around us, too. Goodness is usually not as loud and there are few bringing it to our attention. A few of the broadcast news shows now have a segment at the end that takes the time to highlight stories of goodness. These are usually stories of people helping other people or maybe about people overcoming great difficulties and ending up happy. They are feel good stories that are intended to do just that for the viewers – make them feel good. Focus on the goodness.

When you aren’t watching the news you can find the goodness that is around you by looking for it. It may be as simple as observing the goodness of the innocent play, laughter, and happiness of children. Perhaps you will recognize the goodness of someone opening a door for you or feel good when you hold a door open for someone else. Maybe something good will happen to you unexpectedly or perhaps after something bad has happened you stop to realize that you are OK…and that all is good. Focus on the goodness.

The key to seeing and appreciating the goodness around you is your frame of mind. A good way to start is to stop right after you wake up each day and say a little prayer thanking God for another day. At the end of that prayer, ask God to help you focus on the good in life rather than the bad things. Those bad things will still be there, but you won’t be focusing upon them. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll be surprised how different life looks to you and how much better you feel about life when you stay focused upon the goodness around you.  Focus on the goodness.


We are all waiting…

June 2, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words –  Originally sent Sept 12, 2022.

“Old people just grow lonesome, Waiting for someone to say, ‘Hello in there… Hello.” (John Prine lyrics) The late John Prine was a magician when it came to writing lyrics. “Hello in There” is a poignant song about lonesome old people who have stories to tell…if only someone would listen. Take a look around you. Is there someone waiting for you to say, “Hello?” It isn’t just old people who are waiting and hoping to hear that greeting. It’s surprising what can happen when we speak first. 😉  Jack

OK, in deference to full disclosure, I must admit that I am officially “old”. I have had trouble accepting the characterization of being elderly; however, at age 81 I must accept that I am considered to be “old” by a majority of the population.

My first thought when I read the quote in this post to Jack’s Winning Words is that we are all waiting for someone to acknowledge us and engage with us. Many of us who grew up in the same era were admonished as children not to speak unless spoken to and many of us allowed that advice to carry over into our adult lives. We are not painfully shy, we’re just waiting for someone else to…Speak first.

Jack’s advice to speak first can help anyone break out of the loneliness or silence that they have been living in. It is especially powerful if you can also use the other person’s name in your greeting. People love to be recognized by their name. Speak first.

It is also important to recognize that engaging with someone is a two-way street. They will want to know something about you and your story, too; so, be ready to share information about yourself. But, remember that the person with whom you are speaking really wants someone to listen to what they have to say. Speak first.

There is a tendency to think that you won’t know what to say after you’ve said, “Hello”. You may wish to have a few “go to” phrases ready as a way to increase the engagement or get to the next steps. You can’t expect someone that you just met to just launch into telling you their life story (nor in many cases would you want them to anyway). Phrases such as, “How’s your day going?” or maybe “Do you live around here?” are good conversation openers.  Speak first.

It is really unsatisfying to just sit there looking at someone and hoping that they will speak to you. It gets worse when they get up and walk away and you are left wondering who they might have been and whether or not you would have enjoyed knowing them. Don’t just sit there waiting… Speak first.


Do it now…

May 19, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 19, 2014.

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” (Seneca) The problem of procrastination is not new. Seneca wrote about it 2000 years ago. Things need doing NOW; you’re not going to live forever. Many of us are motivated by “dead-lines.” A doctor said, “I can help you, but none of us is going to live forever…not me, not you.” Are there things that need to be done, relationships that need fixing? Life is speeding by. 😉  Jack

It is easy for procrastination to become a way of life. One can get used to not making decisions and living with the consequences. I’ll bet you know someone like that, or maybe you are that someone and you know it. Is life speeding by you?

Fixin’ to. I have developed a habit of procrastination that I call “Fixin’ to”. When faced with a big or complex job, I often tell my wife (and myself) that I’m “fixin’ to get to it”. I tell her (and myself) that I need a little more time for planning and thinking about it, before I get started. In reality, during that “fixin’ to” time, I often let my imagination run wild exploring all of the things that could go wrong. Of course, that further delays the actual work.

As I’ve often opined here, the same mind that can conjure up all of the disasters that might befall you can also deal with problems that do come up by inventing solutions on the fly. So, rather than spend your time “fixin to”, it is better to just do it and focus on the work and problem solutions that are needed.

If you have that feeling that life is just speeding by, maybe it is because you are spending to much “fixin to” time and not enough doing it time. Albert Einstein postulated that time is relative and that if you went fast enough it will even go in reverse. Perhaps if you just jump in and match the pace of life by not procrastinating you will find that it is not speeding you by. You’ll find more joy in life if you keep up with the pace of life.

Just do it now. The past is not worth reliving and the future is something that you really can’t change, no matter how much you worry about it. Live in the moment. Experience life. Solve problems as you go. Enjoy life. Do it now!


Just don’t accept it…

May 12, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 29, 2009.

“If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns the gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks.” (Steve Pavlina) This quote caused me to do a double-take. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Pavlina is a writer and speaker who helps people motivate themselves to improve their lives. To have the right attitude toward people is part of that process. There’s times to engage, and times to ignore. 😉 Jack

Insults and verbal attacks are generally expected to provoke a reaction. I’ve noticed that nothing blunts such and attack and frustrates the attacker as much as the attack being ignored. Acknowledgement of any sort is a form of engagement that just encourages the attacker to continue. Just don’t accept it…

A little Zen saying that I saw recently seems to apply to this topic – “Negative thoughts only have the power over me that I allow them to have”. The same applies to insults and verbal attacks. They only have power over you if you allow them to. Ignoring them takes away that power. Just don’t accept it…

Sometimes it is impossible to completely ignore a verbal assault. In that case a reply such as “It is unfortunate that you feel that way” serves to dismiss their attack and shifts the ownership back to them. Just don’t accept it…

If the person making the remarks is someone that you must continue to interact with in the future and ignoring the remarks does not seem like a solution, then perhaps suggest that you would like to discuss it further, once both of you have had time to cool down and think things over. Just don’t accept it…


So, get off your duff already…

March 26, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent March 27, 2012.
“Those who want milk should not seat themselves on a stool in the middle of a field and hope the cow comes to them.” (Elbert Hubbard) I smiled when I read this quote. Can’t you just “see” the person on the stool? The one who makes the sale is the one who gets off of the stool. It works in the business world, at home and even in the church. By my computer is a sign: “Get tough–get off your duff.” Today is a good day to follow that advice. 😉 Jack


Every now and then you may experience a fortuitous stroke of luck and some good fortune may befall you. But, for the rest of life, and indeed for most of life, one must get off the stool and make one’s own luck through hard work and persistence. Get off your duff!


I have posted here a few times about the importance of getting started and about breaking dauntingly big jobs down into smaller tasks (steps) that can be more easily accomplished. It is easy to let what should be planning time turn into daydreaming time. Things don’t get dome just because you dream about them being done. Focus on the planning and on getting started. Get off your duff!


Sometimes you may have to go off in a completely different direction than where you are headed to accomplish some intermediary step or some prerequisite. Just be sure to keep your goal at least in the corner of your eye, so that you don’t lose track of it or get discouraged by your apparently lack of progress towards the goal. Get off your duff!


More times than we’d like to admit, we may actually start off in the wrong direction and go very far down what proves to be a blind alley. Don’t get discouraged. Learn from your mistake. Backtrack to the starting point and choose a different direction. Thomas Edison famously said about his numerous failures – “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” So, now, like Edison, you have successfully found one way that will not get you to your goal. Don’t go that way again. ” Get off your duff!


Jack posted a reminder for himself next to his computer. For him, that helped him to remember that ha was committed to writing a daily post to his Blog – Jack’s Winning Words – five days a week. There was no winning to be had if he just sat there and waited for the words of a new post to come to him. He had to get off his duff and write the post for that day. Get off your duff!


I have found it helpful to post notices to myself on the bathroom mirror where I have to look at them when I’m shaving in the morning. It may be a reminder for something that I need to get done that day or just a restating of the goal, so that I get renewed energy to work towards it that day. Whichever, it serves as a reminder to me to…Get off your duff!

I took the time to go back and look at a number of the posts that I have done over the years about tackling large or difficult tasks or pursuing lofty goals. One recurring theme that all of those posts in some way contained was the advice to take time to ask for God’s help. There is nothing more calming and reassuring in the face of daunting tasks or goals than touching base with your faith in God. Take God’s hand and he will help you …Get off your duff.


You’re not too old to dream?

September 25, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/15/24 – Originally sent June 27, 2008.

“The world ages us too fast. We grow up too quickly; we stop dreaming too early, and we develop the ability to worry at far too young an age.” (Doug Wecker) I don’t know who Doug is, but I think he’s hit the nail on the head. If we would just dream more and worry less, we’d be in better shape. Sigmund Romberg wrote the song, When I Grow Too Old To Dream. Too old to dream? How sad. Dream on and stay young. 😉  Jack

I think the thing that ages us too fast is that we become too serious about everything , too focused, too intense, too logical. We lose the ability to let things go and relax. We lose the ability to be silly every now and then, to laugh at the things that happen in life and to laugh at ourselves. We embrace the idea that “acting like an adult” means being serious and sober all the time, not letting our emotions show and certainly not being silly.

That’s the reason that I wrote a post back in 2022 about not letting yourself lose the ability to be silly (see – https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/12/10/never-lose-your-ability-to-be-silly/

In that post I suggested that you start each day by making a funny face at yourself in the mirror as you are getting ready in the morning. That’s still a good idea, It breaks the ice for the day and puts you in the right frame of mind to face whatever the day holds for you.

Another good exercise each day is to take some alone time to just let your mind wander and to dream. The human mi nd is an amazing thing. Not only can it conjure up all of the bad things that can happen when yo are being to serious and worrying too much; it can also imagine wonderful  things when you give it free reign to dream. And, remember Jack’s advice that if you would just dream more and worry less you will be in better shape.

As for me. I’m going to make a funny face in the mirror again tomorrow morning and remember that I’m never too old to dream. How about you?


Procrastination…

February 26, 2024

I was going to write about this yesterday, but I decided to wait.

That’s how it starts. Procrastination is an insidious thing. It steals one’s time and stifles creativity. Even if you have no real idea how to get to a desired end point, jumping in and getting started is doing something, as opposed to doing nothing.

Doing something, even something wrong, gets one’s creative juices moving. Even the act of planning is better than just putting it off. Planning itself usually leads to some sort of action, doing things or buying things or assembling things that are needed to actually do whatever it is that is you goal. Reviewing past efforts and trying to learn from them is better than continually repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.

The problem with procrastination is that one becomes inert. Inertia can be a hard thing to overcome, not because it feels satisfying, but because it feels safe. There is little danger associated with inertia, whereas doing something may involve perceived risk or danger.  

Of times the challenge ahead may seem overwhelming. That is often because you can only see it at the macro level – the whole problem at once. One trick to break out of the inertia of procrastination is to break the big job down into small tasks and take on the first small task that must be accomplished. Accomplishing even a small step will get your momentum started. Once you build up any momentum you will find it both rewarding and addictive. You will not want to go back to procrastinating.

So, like the graphic stated, the time is now. Get started. Don’t let procrastination hold yo back. Build momentum instead. Like the Nike tag line says – Just Do It.


Blogging Q & A

July 8, 2015

I get a lot of questions from friends or acquaintances about my blogging and blogging in general. These are usually from people who ask me how to get started or who tell me that they just don’t have the time or don’t feel confident that they could do it. Soooo, I decided to do this little post about blogging, in hopes that it answers a few questions and inspires a few more people to start blogging themselves. I guess this is my take on Blogging 101.

What the heck doe the word BLOG stand for anyway?

A few years back, when the internet was still fairly new, people began keeping and sharing web logs, which were initially just like keeping a public diary of what happened to them that day. From the Answeres.com web site comes this explanations of the origin of the word – The term ‘Blog’ is the evolved term coined by Peter Merholz in 1999. It’s not an acronym,…it’s a colloquialism. It comes from the conjoined terms web and log…as in weblog. Then it evolved into simply blog when Peter Merholz coined the term in 1999.

People keeping web logs discovered that others, sometimes many others would find and read their blogs about current events, such as coups in foreign lands or the doings of celebrities in the U.S. Software was developed to make creating these blogs easier and companies like WordPress and Blogspot began offering to host them for free. They provided what the internet and apparently the world was begging for – content. That really what blogs are – they are content; something for someone else to read. Blogs were added to web site all over as well as a means to provide easily updated content for those sites.

What good is a blog to me or my business?

The web has become the “go to” place for everything, with the latest trend being the movement of users off the desktop and onto mobile devices. People who need information about almost anything these days, just “Google it” and wait to see what comes back. What comes back is often dependent upon what they put into the Google inquiry to begin with. Google yourself and see what comes back. Now Google your business; not your company per se, but, just the line of business in which your company competes. What came back? Did your company show up? Now Google the problem or product category in which your company provides a solution or product. What showed up there? Was your company in the results? All of these example are things in which having a blog may help you gain position in the Google results that come back.

The other thing that posting regularly to a blog might do is to let people get to know you better and let them get comfortable with you as a person and not just a businessman. You can accomplish some of that on Facebook and I advertise all of my blog posts on Facebook, so that the people that I know there will see that I’m posting something that they may want to read. A blog can give you a little more formal setting in which to post things than a Facebook account might and can establish more of a professional reputation for you than most Social Media sites. I used the terms may and might above because your blog won’t do those things for you if you don’t faithfully post to it and make some effort to share it with others.

How do I get started?

You can jump right in by setting up your own blog on WordPress or one of the other free blogging sites and setting up an account. It’s relatively straightforward and the hardest part is probably choosing a theme (look) for your blog. There are lots of themes to choose from; but, start with something simple and don’t spend all of your time and effort on customizing your blog theme right away. You can go back later and change the theme if you want to. The important thing is to fill out your profile and get started with your first post. Another important step is to link yor blog in with your other social media sites – Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn and others, so that anytime that you post to your blog a post will also show up on those site alerting your friends there that there’s something new from you for them to read. After all the point of a blog is to share what you are posting. It’s not a secret diary that you keep locked away from the world. You hope that over time people will “like” what you post and sign up to “follow” your blog.

What should I look for in a blog hosting site?

Some blog sites have better editing tools than others, with ways to add more content, such as graphics and pictures and even video into the content. Some sites have fairly crude or simplistic editing tools. Find one that you feel comfortable using and one that supports the things that you may wish to add to your posts. Also look at the size of the blog hosting site/operation and the things that they do or the tools that they provide to promote the blogs that they host. There are a few larger blog hosting sites, like WordPress, Blogspot and Tumblr and tons of others. Here’s a link to a good read on the DearBlogger site about some of  the top blog hosting sites.

What does it cost to have a blog?

You can have a basic blog for nothing. If you desire to use your blog more like a web site and perhaps conduct business from it, you may need to pay to get some of the more advanced features that the free sites also sell. On the WordPress blog site you can also buy the rights to the domain for your blog (assuming that it is not already taken) for a relatively small annual fee. Owning the domain name makes it much easier for people (and Google) to find your blog. On WordPress my blog started out as https://normsmilfordblog.wordpress.com because it was a sub-domain of the WordPress site. That is a cumbersome URL name and one that Google may not have seen or bothered to index, so I bought the domain name http://normsmilfordblog.com and that is all that anyone has to enter now to get to my inspirational blog.

How long does a blog entry have to be?

It can be as long or as short as you wish it to be. I get a daily feed from a blog called Jack’s Winning Words, which is written by Jack Freed, the retired pastor of my church that is never more than one paragraph long. Jack starts each entry with a quote from someone or somewhere (maybe something he saw in a book, on a sign or on a poster) and adds a couple of sentences of his own thoughts about the quote. He normally challenges his readers at the end with a question about what it means to them. I use Jack’s little quotes all the time as the inspiration for my own blog. I usually write 4-5 paragraphs, sometime more. Which of these is the right length? Both are. There are no rules about length, except maybe not to bore your readers.

How often should I post new entries to my blog and how long will it take?

This is another question with no right or wrong answer. If you have the time and enjoy doing it, there is nothing wrong with posting to your blog every day; however, you can go a week or more between posts. Keep in mind that people may be visiting you blog more often to see if there is something new to read there. If you go too long between posts they may stop visiting. I recommend posting something at least once a week at a minimum. How much time it will take depends upon how long the post is and how fast you can think and write. I spend about 30 – 45 minutes (sometimes an hour) on each post (this one took longer). Some posts require more time because I may have to look up some things or confirm something that I think I know.

What about adding pictures or graphics to my blog?

writer-2Pictures and graphics do add to the appeal of a blog and can be an important part of the content. You should be careful not to use copywrited pictures or graphics without permission. There are sites like FreeDigitalPhotos.net to which you can go for free photos. I also use the clipart graphics out of MS Word or from free clip art web sites. Many people don’t use anything but words and that’s OK; but in our modern, Tweet-oriented world a lengthy blog with no pictures (like this one) will look to many like a “wall of words” and they will avoid them. You must balance off amusing the reader with educating them and I realize that you are not very amused by this post.

I’m not an expert on anything; what can I write about?

Blogs are not necessarily about rendering expert advice on things; although if you do have expertise on a particular subject that will give you lots of blog fodder. Rather blogs are about expressing your opinion on a topic, adding your insight to a subject or sometimes just getting things off your chest (be careful with that). Some bloggers try to act like reporters and post about the events going on in their lives or their areas of the world. Some like to render advice on life situations, sort of like a Web version of a Dear Abby column. Some just post whatever random thoughts they may have that day. The time is well passed when anyone cares what you had for breakfast, so give that approach a rest or move that important information about your life to Twitter or Facebook.

I advise peopled to write about things that interest them and write as if they were carrying upon a conversation with someone about that topic. One way to start is to sit down and think about your life – what you like or don’t like, what you do for a living, what you know about what you do for a living, what your hobbies are and what you know about those, what life experiences you’ve had that you might be able to share with others, places where you’ve been that you might give someone else some insight into or maybe opinions that you hold strongly and want to share with others. All of those things provide potential blog posts for you to explore and share, so make a list and save it as future blog topics.

So, what am I waiting for?

That’s a good final question. What are you waiting for, an invitation from the Pope? Jump in and get started writing. I can’t wait to see what you have to say.