Imagine a different future…

July 14, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/14/25 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed – Originally sent March 2, 2021.

Picture of Jack Freed

“Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; and let go of what you can’t change.” (Posted by Carrie Goldring) Carrie is a friend of mine and writes regularly about how to cope after divorce. Divorce can be a roller coaster ride, creating stress, anxiety, and fear. Relaxed exercise helps keep a mind ready for making decisions. While it’s certainly hard to abandon a dream, sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future. 😉 Jack

 I always get inspiration from Jack’s posts and today’s repost is a great example of why. Jack’s posts almost always related something about how the saying for that day can be used in our daily lives. He also almost always threw the ball back into the reader’s court to figure out how it related to their life.  Imagine a different future.

I’ve posted here quite often about letting go of the past and moving on, but I like the way that jack put it – “sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future.” Many of us spend too much time lamenting things from the past or imagining all of the things that could go wrong with something in the future. Imagine a different future.

If you would like to read my advice for letting go of things, please refer to:

https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/08/03/dump-your-ego-and-find-peace/ or maybe https://normsmilfordblog.com/2020/08/12/let-it-go-spit-it-out-taste-the-joy/

In sports this is called visualization. Professional athletes, especially pro golfers spend some time before each shot visualizing (imagining) how the shot will go – the trajectory, the landing and the backspin. They “see” the shot before it happens and then they try to execute the shot as they have imagined it. Imagine a different future.

Many motivational speakers will tell you that you can do the same thing in your daily life. Whether it is attending a meeting or making a sales call or just how you will react or act when encountering someone else socially or on a date; you can imagine that event and see it as you would like it to occur. This “preloads” the desired outcome into your mind and prepares you to keep things moving in the desired direction by making good decisions that support your desired outcome, in case there are any glitches.  Imagine a different future.

Perhaps we can best sum up what Jack found helpful in Carries quote by adding Jack’s thought to it to make it read – Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; let go of what you can’t change; and imagine a different future. When you do that, if you can do that, your life will change for the better. Life can be what you imagine it to be if you let it. Imagine a different future.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The skill of being kind…

June 23, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Sept 17, 2018. Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

“If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind, and you will always be right.” (Sent by Tara Kane) My friend Tara teaches more than public safety to college students. She explains to them (as illustrated in her quote) the importance of knowing how to get along with people. Whether it be a police officer, a fire fighter, or an ordinary citizen, knowing how to be kind to others is an important skill. Keep your eyes open today to “see” kindness….and let others see yours. 😉  Jack

 It is interesting to read that Jack called being kind an important skill that one needs to develop. Being kind is not an emotion caused by something (someone) or even a reaction to something happening. You don’t get kind, like you might get happy or sad and you don’t become kind like you might become afraid. Kindness is an action word; you have to be kind. It requires you to act (or react) in a certain way. Being kind requires a conscious effort or response on your part. That means you have to think about it, whether you realize it or not. Develop the skill of kindness.

I think being kind is based upon making the conscious decision that you wish to be kind in all that you do. That may not be obvious to you, but there are certainly people that you will encounter who have not made that decision. They are sometimes thought of as being cruel. I may call them jerks (sorry, that wasn’t very kind), but I’m sure you have your own name for them. These are the people who cut you off in traffic, who make negative remarks about people or who may call others who are in need losers. They are not being kind. Develop the skill of kindness.

So, how does one develop the skill of being kind? It starts by being more aware of the fact that you are reacting to and making decisions about how to act on everything that is happening to you and around you. You must develop the ability to stop and think, if only for a moment, before you act or react. You must ask yourself the question, what is the right thing, the kind thing to do in this situation? Just that split-second pause will allow you to regain some control over what might have been a knee-jerk reaction. In the next split-second your brain will be able to evaluate the situation and decide between the right and wrong response – the kind response. Develop the skill of kindness.

If you have made the conscious decision to be kind, the actual decision to do so will be easier in any situation, and you will do the right thing. Sometimes that is just catching yourself before you do the wrong thing, making matters worse. Sometimes being kind means doing nothing at all. Even then, being kind means doing so with a smile or a friendly gesture. Putting that smile on your face will make you feel better and may even make others feel better, too. Perhaps adding a line to your daily prayers – Lord help me to be a kinder person today than I was yesterday – would help reinforce kindness for you. Develop the skill of kindness.

Jack advised us to keep our eyes open for acts of kindness by others and let others see your kindness. You can learn new ways to be kind by observing others. Others will see your acts of kindness once you stop just having  kind thoughts and start doing kind deeds. Work on being more cognizant of the opportunities to be kind that you may encounter during the day and then act with kindness on those opportunities. Develop the skill of kindness.

Have a great and kindness filled day… Develop the skill of kindness.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The key that only you can hold…

June 11, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Nov 12, 2015 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” (Sent by MBO) When John Lennon was 5-yrs-old the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he answered, “Happy!” he was told he didn’t understand the assignment….but I think he did. The pursuit of happiness creates a life well lived, as long as that pursuit includes the happiness of others. 😉  Jack

It seems like too many people surrender the key to their happiness to the wishes of someone else. Perhaps it is locking themselves into a career that their parents wanted for them and not what they truly wanted to do. Maybe it is becoming involved in a relationship (maybe even a marriage) with someone who constantly wants to manipulate you into doing what they want.  It could be that you think that you must always get approval or praise from someone else in order to be happy. Whatever the reason, you have put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Happiness is also one of those terms that seem to have different definitions for different people. Some people spend more time being concerned about being unhappy than thinking about what would make them happy. I think many (if not most) people would have a hard time putting into words what would make them happy. That makes it all the harder to pursue happiness.

So, maybe the key to happiness is to get a better understanding of what happiness is for you and then think about what you have to do to get from where you are to that place of happiness. Once you get that understanding you can begin the pursuit of that happiness. For many people that pursuit of happiness is actually what makes them happy. Whatever applies to you just keep that key to happiness in your own pocket.

I think that one prerequisite to finding happiness is to let go of your day to day worries about things that you can’t control anyway. I have opined here a few times about the little prayer that I use – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” – to let go of those things. Prayer may also help you clarify for yourself what would really make you happy and can help you take back the key to your happiness from wherever it has been. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to find your happiness.

Some people are exuberate and loud in their happiness while others may express their happiness with a quiet smile and perhaps a sigh. What about you? Do you ever think about what would make you happy? Do you know what would make you happy?  Are you pursuing your happiness or have you given the key to that happiness to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take back that key and spend some time pursuing that which would make you happy. What would make you happy? Pray about it and grab that key.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Vividly experience the opportunities that life gives you…

January 14, 2025

“In the pursuit of extraordinary performance, it’s easy to succumb to anxiety and pressure, because so much is out of your control. When you learn to live a life that is fully engaged, however, then you can perform your best and love the challenge. Every performance, presentation, or problem you face is an opportunity to learn and grow and vividly experience each moment.” From “Inner Excellence”, written by performance coach Jim Murphy.


Life’s opportunities come in all sizes, shapes and forms. Some are purely pleasurable, simple and straightforward. Some are mysterious or complex. Some are frightening. All are new. How you react and what you do when presented with a new opportunity will determine the satisfaction that you get out of life. Get fully engaged in life.

Some spend their lives trying to avoid or run away from the opportunities (or challenges) that life presents. They may choose never to take a chance for fear of losing, looking bad or getting hurt. That can extend to relationships with others. Some may never ask that special girl (or guy) out for a date or to dance for fear of rejection. Some may never experience the exhilaration of a roller coaster ride out of fear of injury or thoughts about some catastrophic failure of the ride. Some may choose to limit themselves because they don’t want to do the work necessary to get ahead or make a change. Get fully engaged in life.


I suspect that many hesitate in the face of an opportunity because they see it as one big whole thing that must be tackled all at once. In most cases, whatever the challenge is that one is facing, it can be broken down into smaller manageable and achievable steps. One just needs to take the time to think about it in that way and then commit to taking the first small step. Once you have taken two or three of those small steps you will feel a sense of momentum that will propel you towards the solution or end point – you will be living in the moment, vividly learning and growing from the experience. Get fully engaged in life.


Force yourself out of your comfort zone a few times and vividly experience the feelings of success or even of failure (from which you learn) and live in the moment. You may find yourself enjoying the feelings that you experience, even the temporary fears. People will often use the phrase, “I never felt more alive” to explain their emotions during those moments. You will never have those feelings in your safe, daily routine. Get fully engaged in life.


So, get engaged, scare yourself a little and experience life by accepting and taking on the challenges that life throws your way. Learn, grow and vividly experience every moment. Get fully engaged in life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Embrace your journey…

September 24, 2024

Today’s graphic, as applied to life, would seem to say that there are times or circumstances in our lives that we can accurately foresee.

Life is a journey, and it is not really possible to see a clear path forward. Some spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the future and what might happen. Others waste time looking back at what was in regret or in fear the past repeating itself.

The truth of this graphic is that we must embrace the present – the journey – and live in the moment. We cannot stop the twists and turns and surprises of life from happening, but we can be better prepared to deal with them.

There are a few keys to being prepared to deal with life’s surprises. Probably the most important is having a solid foundation upon which to base your life. Some call this a moral compass. It is the set of core beliefs upon which you base your decision making before taking actions. For many this foundation is rooted in faith. Having a strong faith in God provides a foundation “rock” upon which to build the rest of your beliefs.

Once you have a good understanding of right and wrong, of good and evil and of love, compassion and understanding, you are ready to develop your own process for decision-making that will allow you to deal with the twists and turns of life’s journey. A good decision process usually starts with thought, with patience and with perseverance.

Taking time to think before acting allows us to measure the situation against our beliefs of right and wrong. Stopping to think also allows us to put the situation into the perspective of time and to apply the patience and perseverance that may be needed. Thinking about the situation also allows us to overcome initial reactions such as fear or anger.

The British phrase “Keep Calm and Carry On” seems applicable here. One keeps calm but thinking about things, instead of just reacting to them and that allows one to carry on with the journey. Perhaps it might help to start each day by resetting your moral GPS with a simple prayer. The one I use is, “Not my will but thy will be done.”

Where will your journey take you today? What twists and turns will you face? Are you ready for them? Have you reset your moral compass? Remember to Keep Calm and Carry On. Embrace the journey.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Let your mind have some fun…

November 30, 2022

“The mind is like a car battery — it recharges by running.”  (Bill Watterson creator of the Calvin and Hobbs comic)

Accompanying this quote was this write-up about Watterson – Every day, for 10 years, cartoonist Bill Watterson delighted readers with a new story in his beloved syndicated comic strip “Calvin and Hobbes.” But that kind of round-the-clock ingenuity is no easy feat. His secret? Recharging the mind by letting it play. “I’ve had to cultivate a kind of mental playfulness,” Watterson said in the same 1990 commencement speech at Kenyon College where he gave the quote above. “A playful mind is inquisitive, and learning is fun.” In other words, creative ideas come when the mind is encouraged to wander into new areas, exploring wherever your natural curiosity may lead.

I might have phrased the quote differently and added to the second part – “it recharges by running and playing.” Allowing your mind to wander, to play, allows it to explore its creativity. As adults we too often discipline ourselves to stay focused on the tasks at hand. In sports that is often called “mental toughness”. Whether in sports, business or just in our everyday lives, the ability to focus can be helpful but it also can be stifling to our minds. I suspect that the increased incidents of road rage and the general lack of civility today is largely due to people becoming too focused and not allowing their minds any play time.

It’s not that living isn’t serious business. For many in high stress jobs it is very serious and for most the responsibilities that come just with being an adult cause us to take life seriously. But that doesn’t mean that you must or should give up some level of the playfulness that you had as a child. Every now and then on the news you will see a story of kids in a war zone playing and having fun. As adults we may think, “How can they play in the middle of being shot at or bombed, with death and destruction all around them?” They simply have not yet been trained to suppress that need to play physically or mentally. That training will come with age, faster and at a younger age in a war zone.

For those of us not living under conditions like war or grinding poverty or famine, it is important that we allow our minds to recharge by letting it out to play, to stretch itself through our imaginations. I have suggested a way to break the mental tension of being too serious all the time by making a funny face in your mirror each morning as you get ready for the day ahead. It is hard to maintain a serious attitude when you make a face at yourself. Try it and see. Just that small crack in your otherwise serious façade will allow your imagination out to play for an instant and allow your mind a break from the grindstone of seriousness.

You might also be surprised that this small break from seriousness will allow you to approach the happenings of the day and the people that you meet from a different, less somber point of view. Just that little spark of playfulness and imagination may show through in your attitude and that will impact how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. It may put a smile on your face as you start your day and that will be noticed by those whom you encounter. Just keep thinking of that funny face in the mirror and keep smiling.

Recharge your mental battery this morning. Make a face at yourself in the mirror. Let your mind out to wander about in your imagination. Doesn’t that feel better?

Have a great and less serious day.

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Posted by Norm Werner