“I remind myself every morning…Nothing I say this day will teach me anything, so if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” (Larry King)
That was Jack’s quote today in the Jack’s Winning Words blog.
Have you ever met someone who just can’t stop talking? I have and it’s really annoying after a very short period of time. It’s not even that you can’t get a word in edgewise, it’s that you just get tired of listening to them prattle on.
However, the advice in today’s quote is certainly valid. If you are talking, you are spouting off about things that you already know or opinions that you’ve already reached. Instead, if you listen, you may hear things that you didn’t know or get some insight into a different point of view that may influence or change your decision.
Another piece of advice is not to be a passive listener, but, rather to actively be listening to and analyzing what you are hearing. The minds of most passive listeners aren’t really just idling along; rather, they are usually busy formulating the next thing that the person wants to say.
In addition to the potential for learning, being a good listener is a way to show some respect for the person that you are talking with. It shows that you are paying attention to what they have to say. Admit it, that you an tell if someone is paying attention to what you are saying; so, why would you not think that they can tell the same about you.
Jack mentioned that Larry King used to lean in towards those he was interviewing so that he could listen better to what they were saying and in doing so let them know that he was listening. That’s not a bad habit to adopt either. Body language experts might tell you that taking the opposite approach and leaning back is a show of disrespect and/or indifference for what the person is saying.
Most of us will never be interviewers like Larry King; however, we can apply the lessons that he learned about listening to be better conversationalists or fiends. Others are trying to talk to us, not just at us, and they deserve the courtesy of us listening to them. Who knows, we might even learn something.
Be a good listener today.




Posted by Norm Werner 



will be OK. Instead, they are looking for someone to listen to them, share their pain and perhaps offer support.
Unfortunately, the person who was seeking our help sinks back behind the shield that they had temporarily lowered to ask for our help. They may smile back and nod their head in apparent agreement, but we blew the opportunity to really help.
You can’t really help until you understand the issues that are causing the pain for that person and you will never understand them until you listen to them. If you have to speak, just ask more questions to keep the conversation focused upon getting to the root of the problems that the person is having such trouble dealing with. Only then can we begin to really try to help.
to be with another which both attracts and heals.”
usually more to what someone is saying than just the words that they may use. One must listen for nuances in the delivery of those words and observe the body language that is also going on. Unfortunately, too many people re so busy thinking about what they want to say next to pay the kind of attention to the speaker that they need to use, in order to really “hear” what they are saying.
may be putting up, there is fear or sorrow or concern that needs to be shared and needs your empathy and help? Can you hear the excitement or joy that the other person may be trying to share with you? Do you listen for the cues that a follow-up question is more important that what you may have wanted to say next?
need to “get it off their chest” and are hoping that you provide that sympathetic ear.
signals that indicate that the person that you are talking to may have deeper needs than are being expressed in the words. Someday you’ll be the one who needs a friend to listen to your problems and you’ll be glad that they listened for the words that were between the lines. What will you hear today?
based upon careful listening. It would seem that many of the problems in politics today could be attributed to the two main sides not taking time to listen to the other. In our daily lives we encounter many opportunities to listen to others; but, how many of us really put the effort into listening, rather than getting ready for the next things that we want to say?
invitation to a conversation and an expression of concern and care about that person. That conversation will deserve a good listener and there will be therapeutic value in the attention that you pay to the other party. They may rally need to share with someone who is willing to listen.
really listening to you or just thinking about their next opportunity to speak. You can see their lack of eye contact or the expression on their face. It’s that look of, “Oh God, I really didn’t want to hear about your problems; I’ve got problems of my own.” Good listeners will be paying close attention to your words and may interject some words of encouragement or understanding as you speak. Good listeners may also ask questions about the topic that you were expounding upon, because they are processing the information and want to learn more about it.
voice that is always trying to get through to us – perhaps the voice of God; trying, as always, to call us back to Him.
saying. Perhaps God uses that technique to get our attention by whispering to us. We really have to lean in in order to hear what He is saying.
You will meet many people this week and all of them will be people for whom the little quote above applies. Many of them may also be someone who is need of someone else to share their fears or sadness or love with; someone who cares about them and their situation or condition. Maybe that can be you.
then intently listen to your answers. They will express empathy or sympathy, while also offering support and encouragement. You will also notice that you start to feel better because you found someone with whom you can share things that may have been nagging at you or even overwhelming you. Figuratively (and perhaps literally), you have found a shoulder to cry upon. You’ll feel better and they will too, for having been there for you.
different from where you were looking and they all carry different information and different points of view. Haven’t you ever wondered how things look from their perspective? If you encounter people with backgrounds that vary greatly from yours, maybe an immigrant or a person from a different ethnic group, haven’t you ever been curious how much different their take is on things than yours? Did you ever ask? What did you learn from that? It’s OK to start from the position of “I don’t understand you”; however, it is wrong to jump from there to “and I don’t like you, or I’m afraid of you, because of that.” Why not try to use the experience to learn something about that person. You may be surprised by who they really are.
relationship with a friend or loved one. Not only can you learn problem solving techniques from each incident, but you also learn something new about yourself and about the other parties involved (and adversities almost always involve other parties). Try to make each encounter with adversity a learning experience.
point of view has merit; to them it is the perspective from which they are viewing the situation and the basis upon which they are making their decisions. Ask yourself if you
learning experiences a part of your knowledge base and a step towards turning knowledge into wisdom. What did you see today? Who did you meet today? What did you learn today? What did you get out of today?







