Pretty is as pretty does…

September 22, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Reposts of the blog posts of Pastor Jack Freed. Originally sent September 22, 2015.

“We get so worried about being pretty. Let’s be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong.” (Britt Nicole) The first Beauty Contest in America was after the Civil War, and now there’s conversation about banning such contests, especially of children. Although many seem to recognize that prettiness is more than physical beauty, for some it’s the only beauty. Reread today’s quote. Isn’t it more important to emphasize qualities other than beauty? You don’t need a mirror to see what makes you pretty! 😉  Jack

I think Britt might agree that the prettiest contestant in all of those beauty pageants was probably the one voted Miss Congeniality by her fellow contestants. Those were the contestants who’s beauty showed through in their personalities as much, if not more, than in their superficial physical beauty. Although not “beautiful” in the traditional physical appearance sense, to the poor of Calcutta and those who worked with her, Mother Theresa was one of the most beautiful people that the world has known. All of us can be beautiful people if we try.

Just remember that being pretty is not al about looks, it is also about your actions and how you live your life. Pretty is as pretty does. Try to be a pretty person today.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Imagine a different future…

July 14, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/14/25 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed – Originally sent March 2, 2021.

Picture of Jack Freed

“Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; and let go of what you can’t change.” (Posted by Carrie Goldring) Carrie is a friend of mine and writes regularly about how to cope after divorce. Divorce can be a roller coaster ride, creating stress, anxiety, and fear. Relaxed exercise helps keep a mind ready for making decisions. While it’s certainly hard to abandon a dream, sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future. 😉 Jack

 I always get inspiration from Jack’s posts and today’s repost is a great example of why. Jack’s posts almost always related something about how the saying for that day can be used in our daily lives. He also almost always threw the ball back into the reader’s court to figure out how it related to their life.  Imagine a different future.

I’ve posted here quite often about letting go of the past and moving on, but I like the way that jack put it – “sometimes the moment arrives to imagine a different future.” Many of us spend too much time lamenting things from the past or imagining all of the things that could go wrong with something in the future. Imagine a different future.

If you would like to read my advice for letting go of things, please refer to:

https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/08/03/dump-your-ego-and-find-peace/ or maybe https://normsmilfordblog.com/2020/08/12/let-it-go-spit-it-out-taste-the-joy/

In sports this is called visualization. Professional athletes, especially pro golfers spend some time before each shot visualizing (imagining) how the shot will go – the trajectory, the landing and the backspin. They “see” the shot before it happens and then they try to execute the shot as they have imagined it. Imagine a different future.

Many motivational speakers will tell you that you can do the same thing in your daily life. Whether it is attending a meeting or making a sales call or just how you will react or act when encountering someone else socially or on a date; you can imagine that event and see it as you would like it to occur. This “preloads” the desired outcome into your mind and prepares you to keep things moving in the desired direction by making good decisions that support your desired outcome, in case there are any glitches.  Imagine a different future.

Perhaps we can best sum up what Jack found helpful in Carries quote by adding Jack’s thought to it to make it read – Laugh when you can; apologize when you should; let go of what you can’t change; and imagine a different future. When you do that, if you can do that, your life will change for the better. Life can be what you imagine it to be if you let it. Imagine a different future.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Start all over again…

July 7, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent July 12, 2013. Reposts of the advice posts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

“There are two disappointments in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.” (Oscar Wilde) Disappointments? We all have them. A job loss, a broken relationship, a health issue… I like the advice in this old song, “When my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.” Life is a series of learning experiences, and there comes a time when we just have to move on. 😉 Jack

 It is interesting that Jack, like most of us I suspect, focused upon the disappointment of not getting what we want, not achieving a goal or winning at a pursuit. But, what about the disappointment of actually winning, of achieving what we have been striving for? How can that be disappointing? Start all over again…

After the initial feeling of euphoria or accomplishment following the achievement of a goal or getting wat we’ve been striving for so long, there comes the letdown (disappointment) of no longer having that goal to motivate us. Many athletes experience this once that have achieved their goals as competitors. What do you do after you’ve become the best in the world at your event or become the star of a professional team in your sport?  Start all over again…

It may be hard for us to imagine, but the accumulation of yet another million dollars to a person like Elon Musk, or Warren Buffet or Bill Gates brings very little satisfaction, if any. Star athletes also have a hard time sometimes moving on after achieving the athletic levels that they trained for all their lives. We are fascinated by how people react to having achieved the goals that were driving them. Start all over again…

We occasionally see the sad stories of people whom we thought “had it all and threw it away”. Some turned to alcohol or drugs when they no longer had the motivation of striving towards their goal. We have also witnessed people like Bill Gates refocusing their lives on bigger, more altruistic goals of philanthropy, like ending world hunger or maybe eradicating a terrible disease. Start all over again…

How we react to winning and achieving our goals in life is as important (if not more so) than how we react to failures. As with failure, in success we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again. We must move on to establish new goals. Start all over again…

I think that refocusing from achieving specific and tangible goals, such as having so many dollars in the bank or achieving a specific record in some event onto the less tangible goal of just being happy is a great start. That might involve being happier with what you already have than being unhappy about things that you don’t have. Start all over again…

If you become more focused upon and cognizant of things that make you happy you will soon see that money, possessions and power over others has little to do with your own happiness. I think that you will realize that you are happiest when you have helped to bring happiness to others, when you have made a positive difference in someone else’s life. Start all over again…

Maybe you should start each day with a little prayer, not asking for more things for yourself, but by being thankful for what you already have and by asking God for the ability and opportunities to help others. At the end of the day, if you can look back and see the times when you helped someone, it was a good day and I’ll bet that you are happy about it. Start all over again…

The good news is that you may get another chance tomorrow to start all over again.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where will you find inspiration?

June 21, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally posted 1/15/21- Reprints of posts to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed

“You can look anywhere and find inspiration.”  (Frank Gehry)  Vanity Fair named Gehry the most important architect of our time.  His quote today became a challenge for me to look around…  What can give me inspiration?.  My hand?  Max Lucado’s book, Wonderful?  How about the waste basket?  I decided on the keyboard’s delete key.  What if there were a delete key for life mistakes?  When it comes to our “sins” God has a delete key on His laptop, too.  😉  Jack

As you have probably noticed if you have read this blog for any time, I used to find much of my inspiration for posts to this blog by reading the daily blog posts that I got from the late Pastor Jack Freed. I would usually expand on the topic from the 2-3 sentences that Jack used in his posts. When Jack passed, I was at a loss for inspiration for a while and my posts to my own blog waned. Then his son started reposting some of his best posts and I again found inspiration in those reposts. I also remembered that I had saved most of the emails that Jack sent with his daily posts in them, like the post above. Where will you find inspiration?

I like Jack’s analogy about the keyboard’s Delete key. Many apps also have an “Undo” feature that backs things up in the workflow to a point before the present and lets you try again. That would certainly be helpful in life, wouldn’t it? However, life doesn’t give us “do overs”. Instead, the best that we can do is to let go of the past and move on.  Sometimes what we need is a little inspiration to get us started again. Where will you find inspiration?

Inspiration doesn’t have to be writing blog posts. You may be inspired to do some work around the house or maybe to do some volunteer work. It could be that you are inspired to go visit somebody or maybe call them. It doesn’t matter what it is; inspiration is that little push that you need to get you started towards some goal. Where will you find inspiration?

Ideas, dreams or desires often turn into inspiration once you get past the inertia of doing nothing about them. Guilt about something that you did or remorse about something that you didn’t do can also inspirate some action to correct things. Many laws have been passed and charity foundations created out of work that was inspired by a loss or tragedy. Some find inspiration in prayer. I like the little prayer I saw recently – “Lord help me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.” Everyone should be inspired by that. Where will you find inspiration?

Look for it and you will find it. Where will you find inspiration?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the goodness…

June 16, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent June 16, 2009.

“Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.” (Regina Brett) Brett’s quote is a reminder that expecting perfect equity often leads to frustration. But when we separate the idea of “fairness” from “goodness”, we recognize that even when we’re dealt an unfair hand, there are still positive experiences, growth and beauty in this world. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight for justice, but we can’t let it block out the goodness in life. Have a good day! 😉 Jack

Life seems to have lots of loud things, often bad things, that vie for our attention and quite often drown out the good things. Bad things can be like flash-bang grenades. They go off in our faces, command our attention and sometimes they blind us to the good that is still there. They are the “Hey, hey look at me” things that distract us and which can consume us if we let them. People who experience depression get stuck focusing upon the bad things and can’t see a way out. It’s like being in a long dark tunnel. Yet there is always a little light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Hope. Focus on the goodness.

I wrote about the light of hope for depression back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/01/05/hope-supplies-the-light/ so I won’t repeat myself here. This post is not about depression; it is about focusing upon the goodness of life in your everyday life. That is a great way to balance out all the bad noise that can seem to be all around. Focus on the goodness.

The good news is that the goodness of life is all around us, too. Goodness is usually not as loud and there are few bringing it to our attention. A few of the broadcast news shows now have a segment at the end that takes the time to highlight stories of goodness. These are usually stories of people helping other people or maybe about people overcoming great difficulties and ending up happy. They are feel good stories that are intended to do just that for the viewers – make them feel good. Focus on the goodness.

When you aren’t watching the news you can find the goodness that is around you by looking for it. It may be as simple as observing the goodness of the innocent play, laughter, and happiness of children. Perhaps you will recognize the goodness of someone opening a door for you or feel good when you hold a door open for someone else. Maybe something good will happen to you unexpectedly or perhaps after something bad has happened you stop to realize that you are OK…and that all is good. Focus on the goodness.

The key to seeing and appreciating the goodness around you is your frame of mind. A good way to start is to stop right after you wake up each day and say a little prayer thanking God for another day. At the end of that prayer, ask God to help you focus on the good in life rather than the bad things. Those bad things will still be there, but you won’t be focusing upon them. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll be surprised how different life looks to you and how much better you feel about life when you stay focused upon the goodness around you.  Focus on the goodness.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The key that only you can hold…

June 11, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Nov 12, 2015 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” (Sent by MBO) When John Lennon was 5-yrs-old the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he answered, “Happy!” he was told he didn’t understand the assignment….but I think he did. The pursuit of happiness creates a life well lived, as long as that pursuit includes the happiness of others. 😉  Jack

It seems like too many people surrender the key to their happiness to the wishes of someone else. Perhaps it is locking themselves into a career that their parents wanted for them and not what they truly wanted to do. Maybe it is becoming involved in a relationship (maybe even a marriage) with someone who constantly wants to manipulate you into doing what they want.  It could be that you think that you must always get approval or praise from someone else in order to be happy. Whatever the reason, you have put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Happiness is also one of those terms that seem to have different definitions for different people. Some people spend more time being concerned about being unhappy than thinking about what would make them happy. I think many (if not most) people would have a hard time putting into words what would make them happy. That makes it all the harder to pursue happiness.

So, maybe the key to happiness is to get a better understanding of what happiness is for you and then think about what you have to do to get from where you are to that place of happiness. Once you get that understanding you can begin the pursuit of that happiness. For many people that pursuit of happiness is actually what makes them happy. Whatever applies to you just keep that key to happiness in your own pocket.

I think that one prerequisite to finding happiness is to let go of your day to day worries about things that you can’t control anyway. I have opined here a few times about the little prayer that I use – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” – to let go of those things. Prayer may also help you clarify for yourself what would really make you happy and can help you take back the key to your happiness from wherever it has been. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to find your happiness.

Some people are exuberate and loud in their happiness while others may express their happiness with a quiet smile and perhaps a sigh. What about you? Do you ever think about what would make you happy? Do you know what would make you happy?  Are you pursuing your happiness or have you given the key to that happiness to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take back that key and spend some time pursuing that which would make you happy. What would make you happy? Pray about it and grab that key.

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Posted by Norm Werner

We are all waiting…

June 2, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words –  Originally sent Sept 12, 2022.

“Old people just grow lonesome, Waiting for someone to say, ‘Hello in there… Hello.” (John Prine lyrics) The late John Prine was a magician when it came to writing lyrics. “Hello in There” is a poignant song about lonesome old people who have stories to tell…if only someone would listen. Take a look around you. Is there someone waiting for you to say, “Hello?” It isn’t just old people who are waiting and hoping to hear that greeting. It’s surprising what can happen when we speak first. 😉  Jack

OK, in deference to full disclosure, I must admit that I am officially “old”. I have had trouble accepting the characterization of being elderly; however, at age 81 I must accept that I am considered to be “old” by a majority of the population.

My first thought when I read the quote in this post to Jack’s Winning Words is that we are all waiting for someone to acknowledge us and engage with us. Many of us who grew up in the same era were admonished as children not to speak unless spoken to and many of us allowed that advice to carry over into our adult lives. We are not painfully shy, we’re just waiting for someone else to…Speak first.

Jack’s advice to speak first can help anyone break out of the loneliness or silence that they have been living in. It is especially powerful if you can also use the other person’s name in your greeting. People love to be recognized by their name. Speak first.

It is also important to recognize that engaging with someone is a two-way street. They will want to know something about you and your story, too; so, be ready to share information about yourself. But, remember that the person with whom you are speaking really wants someone to listen to what they have to say. Speak first.

There is a tendency to think that you won’t know what to say after you’ve said, “Hello”. You may wish to have a few “go to” phrases ready as a way to increase the engagement or get to the next steps. You can’t expect someone that you just met to just launch into telling you their life story (nor in many cases would you want them to anyway). Phrases such as, “How’s your day going?” or maybe “Do you live around here?” are good conversation openers.  Speak first.

It is really unsatisfying to just sit there looking at someone and hoping that they will speak to you. It gets worse when they get up and walk away and you are left wondering who they might have been and whether or not you would have enjoyed knowing them. Don’t just sit there waiting… Speak first.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Do it now…

May 19, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 19, 2014.

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” (Seneca) The problem of procrastination is not new. Seneca wrote about it 2000 years ago. Things need doing NOW; you’re not going to live forever. Many of us are motivated by “dead-lines.” A doctor said, “I can help you, but none of us is going to live forever…not me, not you.” Are there things that need to be done, relationships that need fixing? Life is speeding by. 😉  Jack

It is easy for procrastination to become a way of life. One can get used to not making decisions and living with the consequences. I’ll bet you know someone like that, or maybe you are that someone and you know it. Is life speeding by you?

Fixin’ to. I have developed a habit of procrastination that I call “Fixin’ to”. When faced with a big or complex job, I often tell my wife (and myself) that I’m “fixin’ to get to it”. I tell her (and myself) that I need a little more time for planning and thinking about it, before I get started. In reality, during that “fixin’ to” time, I often let my imagination run wild exploring all of the things that could go wrong. Of course, that further delays the actual work.

As I’ve often opined here, the same mind that can conjure up all of the disasters that might befall you can also deal with problems that do come up by inventing solutions on the fly. So, rather than spend your time “fixin to”, it is better to just do it and focus on the work and problem solutions that are needed.

If you have that feeling that life is just speeding by, maybe it is because you are spending to much “fixin to” time and not enough doing it time. Albert Einstein postulated that time is relative and that if you went fast enough it will even go in reverse. Perhaps if you just jump in and match the pace of life by not procrastinating you will find that it is not speeding you by. You’ll find more joy in life if you keep up with the pace of life.

Just do it now. The past is not worth reliving and the future is something that you really can’t change, no matter how much you worry about it. Live in the moment. Experience life. Solve problems as you go. Enjoy life. Do it now!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you proud of who you are…

May 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 5, 2022.

“I’m proud of who I am.” (Rico Nasty) Today is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo, which translates as May the 5th. Surprisingly, it’s a bigger holiday in the USA than in Mexico. It’s a day when people of Mexican heritage show their pride in their roots, and remember that on May 5, 1862 the Mexican army defeated France in a battle for independence. Many of us are proud of our heritage. The Ukrainians come to mind. In spite of current divisions in our country, I’m still singing, “I’m proud to be an American.” How about you? 😉  Jack

 OK, so I’m a day late with this post. I had to think a while about what to write on the theme that Jack used in his post. I’m pretty sure that Jack would still say the same thing about being proud to be an American, even as he may have disagreed with most of the things that the current administration is doing. Are you proud of who you are?

The more important message in Rico Nasty’s quote if to be proud of who you are. Proud of the person you’ve become and the values and morals that you hold too. That pride can be based upon the honesty with which you conduct yourself. You can easily tell if that is true at the end of each day if you have conducted yourself in such a manner that you end the day without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Are you proud of who you are?

We use a prayer at my church asking for forgiveness for “things which you have do and things left undone”. I most often find that last part to be the toughest and in need of the most forgiveness. Many of us leave things undone that we know we should do – help that we do not render when presented with the chance or maybe forgiveness not extended to someone who has wronged us.  Are you proud of who you are?

In today’s political environment what comes to mind immediately are the words of Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.” There are many ways to express your disagreement with things that are happening. I have Dr. King’s quote on a lawn sign that I display at times like this. It’s not marching in protest, but it is something and it gives me a small feeling of pride at the end of the day. Are you proud of who you are?

Yesterday I saw a little Zen message in a word game that I play on my phone – “Be happy with what you have, not envious of what others have.” I think that ability to be happy with your life and what you have or have accomplished and not envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others is a key to being proud of who you are. Many just don’t spend enough time being thankful for and taking pride in what they have and what they done – perhaps a successful marriage, maybe raising great children, or being happy and successful with your work.  Are you proud of who you are?

In the end, it will all come down to that moment of judgement between you and God and it will be God asking that question about your life – Are you proud of who you were?  The good news is that if you are reading this post, you still have time to make changes in your life so that you can answer that question with a smile. Until that time at the end of each day, look back and ask yourself – Are you proud of who you are?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the important things…

April 28, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 30, 2021
“You’ll never reach your destination if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks at you.” (Winston Churchill) There’s lots of “barking” going on these days. It reminds me of the carnival pitchmen (barkers) who’d try to get our attention. A friend of mine would say, “Jack, remember to make the main thing the main thing.” In other words, keep your focus on the important events, not the sideshow. I try to keep that in mind as I watch the news and read the ads. Churchill was a great leader, because he was able to focus. It makes for a more peaceful life too. 😉 Jack


As always, Jack’s words are resonant today as they were back in 2021. There may be different dogs barking today, but they are still only the sideshow. One of the traits of great leaders that Jack pointed out is the ability to identify and focus on the things that are really important in our lives.


For leaders of people or nations, the things that are important tend to have wide-ranging consequences that impact all, whether they be wars or economic trends or climate change. For us as individuals the important things most often involve interpersonal relationships – things that impact our wives, our children, our family or our friends.


We focus on providing for those that we love, so we work at jobs to earn the money to provide. For some the focus shifts from the reason that we work to the work itself, and career advancement becomes the most important thing for them. Becoming too focused upon one’s career is one of the main reasons that marriages fail, and families break up. There is a saying in business that “it’s lonely at the top”. Perhaps that is because so many interpersonal relationships were sacrificed to get there.


Another thing that sometimes get shoved down (sometimes completely off) the list of important things in our lives is our faith. Through much of the last half of the twentieth century and the first quarter of the 21st century church attendance has been declining. There are many reasons, but one cannot help but see the shift of attention away from this important matter and onto things that are just sideshows – the so-called “blue laws” that kept most stores closed on Sundays gave way to 24 hours a day seven days of the week sales and shopping, sports events or practices for children and adults became the focus for Sunday mornings, and we became more used to thinking of Sunday as a day to have fun than a day to worship.


So, maybe it is time to step back and re-look at what you have been focusing upon. What is really important in your life? Maybe you’ll discover that it is not what but who is important in your life. You will probably be able to come up with a short list of people whom you consider to be important. The longer you think about that and the more you re-arrange the list in order of importance the more God will advance up the list, until He takes His place at the top of the list.


Focus on the important things. If you make it back to that place where God is the most important thing in your life a strange thing happens – you stop hearing the barking dogs of life’s distractions. The fears and anxieties about things over which you have no real control anyway will melt away. As Jack puts it at the end of his remarks, it makes for a peaceful life.

Focus upon the important things!

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Posted by Norm Werner

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