“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.” (H. Jackson Brown Jr) – as seen recently on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.
You will meet many people this week and all of them will be people for whom the little quote above applies. Many of them may also be someone who is need of someone else to share their fears or sadness or love with; someone who cares about them and their situation or condition. Maybe that can be you.
Our typical greeting of, “How are you?” has become such a throw-away line that we really don’t expect an answer, other than perhaps the retort, “Fine, how are you?” We ask without really caring about the other person. If anything, we respond because we want to tell them about our troubles or issues, in hopes of evoking their empathy with our situation.
I meet very few people in day-to-day life who seem really interested in the response to their, “How are you?” question. The more normal interaction is with someone who is chopping at the bit to tell me about themselves ad to share their problems. When I do meet someone who is genuinely interested in understanding me it is almost immediately obvious that their opening question, was just that – the beginning of what they hope to be a dialogue that will answer their other questions, like who are you, what makes you tick, what interesting things can I learn about you and from you? I’ve written here before that Pastor Doug McMunn, Pastor of the Milford United Methodist Church, is one such person.
How can you tell when you’ve met such a person? Well for one, they will spend much more time listening than talking themselves. They will ask short open-ended questions and
then intently listen to your answers. They will express empathy or sympathy, while also offering support and encouragement. You will also notice that you start to feel better because you found someone with whom you can share things that may have been nagging at you or even overwhelming you. Figuratively (and perhaps literally), you have found a shoulder to cry upon. You’ll feel better and they will too, for having been there for you.
How can you pay it forward? Be there for someone else this week. Be that good listener. Mean it when you ask the question, “How are you?” Stop and offer a shoulder to cry upon; then offer the support and encouragement that they need to move on in life. Help that person understand that they are not alone in their pain or sorrow or fears. Help them extract those demons and deal with them.
There is a rather famous sports clip of the late Jimmy Valvano running around the court after NC State won the 1983 National Championship game (click here to view ). He would later say that he was just running around looking for someone to hug. Many of us are like that in life. We run around through life looking for someone to hug. Be there this week to get and give that hug.
Posted by Norm Werner 
always get more of as they need it. For many (if not most) of the elderly, time becomes the most important thing, but concerns about money constantly loom, since most no longer have the ability to get more, if needed. Running out of money, however, doesn’t carry quite the drastic consequences as does running out of time. Both should be spent wisely.
One could start by asking what it is that you might be stressing about. For most that might be something left undone at work or at home, some possession that you don’t have or can’t afford, some bills that you don’t know how you are going to pay, some person that you haven’t met yet, something new that you’ve never tried before, or maybe a decision that you have to make that you just aren’t sure about. All of those things have something in common – they are about the unknown (one might say for many about the unknowable). We all tend to stress when we get outside of our comfort zone and face the unknown.
to make it what we want it to be. The foundation of that approach to life it to first be happy with what you have, with where you are and with who you are – to remember and be thankful how blessed you already are.
The ELCA church has an annual day of service called “God’s Work, Our Hands”, which is coming up soon. On that day congregations around across America find special ways to give back to the communities in which they are located, through service projects.
God to fix the problem for you. The path to resolution of all problems still involves our hands, even if they are doing the work that God has directed us to do.
Many times we may be saying “Thank You” for surviving things that we should have been praying “Help me” for in the first place. The free will that God gave mankind oft turns to a curse when it becomes an ego too big to ask for help. Sometimes it is our own insecurities
that hold us back or make us afraid to even try to solve our own problems.
party goin’ on.” Obviously he was dancing to the music inside.
or something. Jack wrote about that social media phenomenon in his post that went along with this quote. He observed that young people in particular seem to crave the acceptance of “likes” on Facebook or other social media. “Likes” are even a measure of the acceptance of posts to blogs like this one and I must admit that it feels good to have some of my readers take the time to “Like” a specific post.
t peach in the world.” Understanding that and accepting it will make life much easier and help you avoid getting down on yourself because someone doesn’t “Like” you, which is the pits. Some people are just natural contrarians who find the behavior of happy, friendly people to be offensive. They enjoy being grumpy and resist any amount of effort from you to cheer them up. For them, disliking you is as much a mark of your impact on them as a “Like” might be from someone else.
anger or frustrations with life by disliking you. Perhaps you have become, as some might put it, “too sweet, too cute or too syrupy” in your approach to others. What that says to them is that you are oblivious and insensitive to their needs or situation and too wrapped up in yourself to make the effort share in their current feelings or needs. To their way of thinking you’ve become the pit and not the peach that you think you are.
yourself. It’s OK to try to cheer them up or to share your happiness with them, so long and you first understand their situation and make an effort to earn their “like” through empathy to their needs and not just through the aura of your own happiness.
Enough said! Have a great and peaceful day.
Hope that the other three candles were re-lit. We all go through periods of turmoil in our lives, although the crises in most of our lives are usually relatively minor when compared to what others face. One has only to watch the nightly new to witness what real crises look like. Scenes of earthquake survivors picking through garbage dumps to find something to eat can quickly put our personal emergencies into some perspective. Coverage of those wailing at the loss of a loved one in a suicide terrorist attack can deliver a dose of reality into our sheltered lives.
find our Faith and Love and Peace again. They are a connected series of things in our lives. It is hope that supports our faith that there is a better life; if not here, then in the next life. With hope and faith it is possible to love ourselves and others. Once we have achieved the ability to love through our hope and faith we will quickly discover that we are at peace – a peace that passes all understanding.
the rain washed the spider out of the water spout; and then, like the spider we have to start all over to earn them again. All it takes to destroy a hard earned reputation or the trust of others is one mistake or bad decision. Sometimes love is also lost due to things that negatively impact the trust and respect that those who loved you had for you.
NormsMilfordBlog 