“Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” (Samuel Johnson); as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog today.
One could say that cordialness is in our power, even if friendship is not. The point is that we make the choice of how to react and interact with others, even those with whom we 
disagree or who don’t make liking them easy. In this season of heightened political passions it is particularly hard sometimes to be kind or cordial with someone who may be proclaiming the political opposite of what you believe.
Unfortunately in life and is politics we have become a more polarized society, with little opportunity for intelligent conversation about the middle ground or compromise. Discussing topics like gun control, birth control and the GLBT lifestyle have devolved from conversations into rants and arguments. We are forced into taking side in discussions where the only alternatives are “you’re either with us or against us.” We are not allowed to have a middle-ground point of view or to espouse a solution that involves compromise by both sides. Even the word compromise is now used as a litmus test against others in some political circles and has become associated with weakness or betrayal of strongly held beliefs.
Jack went on to write – Some people are really hard to get along with. To “love” does not necessarily mean to be “fond.” Kindness is what Jesus had in mind when he talked about love…trying to see with a different set of eyes. Are you able to do it?
Kindness is not pity. Kindness is not false. Kindness is the conscious attempt to understand the other person’s point of view without prejudging it. Much of what others
may proclaim with loud bluster is actually masking deep fears and insecurities. Many 
prejudices are rooted in the same insecurities and fears. We tend to fear what we do not understand, rather than make the effort to see things from that different point of view.
We need not try to force ourselves to like the choices or lifestyles that people we meet may have embraced; but, we need not fear them either. We also don’t have to embrace their point of view; just be kind and accept them for who they are. Once you can do that, you may even find them to be someone who you could be fond of. At the least you will no longer have to be afraid of them or prejudiced against them.
I have found that refusing to rise to the bait of a pushy or bully type person or stopping myself from jumping immediately to a conclusion about a person, based solely upon the 
initial visual impression that they make, helps me. It is that initial pause from making some immediate judgement that allows that ability to be kind to kick in. It’s not always easy; because I carry around the weight of a lifetime of fears and prejudices, as we all do. It takes a conscience effort and I am not always successful; but I have found that the rewards from making that effort far outweigh the alternatives, which almost always lead to regrets later. Making a new friend is much better than adding a new fear or enemy in life.
Try to be kind today and see if it makes a difference in your life. Maybe you’ll end the day with a new friend, too.
Posted by Norm Werner 
The key to understanding those pieces of advice is our ability to distinguish between those things that we can change from those over which we have no control. Frustration, anger or maybe even despair come from railing against those things that we cannot control, rather than just accepting them and getting on with life.
have to passively accept that. Sometimes, “what it is” might involve a slight or a snub or some other hateful or hurtful behavior towards you and what you still control in those situations is how you react to them. Fortunately, we have some help with that which is captured nicely in this little quote that is also from the Jack’s Winning Words blob –
distinguish in your life those things that you just need to accept from those that you have the power to change and then pray for the courage to change them. Remember that “it isn’t what it is until you decide that it is.”
lately, because opposing views have hardened and compromise has taken on an undesirable meaning that is associated more with losing than with everybody finding a win out of the situation. Our political process, especially at the national level has effectively broken down because of the inability of the parties to compromise and the increasing polarization of those we elected to govern. They cannot govern because they cannot compromise. To them politics and the decisions that they control is a win-lose game.
anxious fears that sometimes drive us to stand back or shy away rather than even try to understand someone else’s point of view. It is our own insecurities that make us cling to old, outdated or bigoted stereotypes, rather than to take the chance of embracing someone new. Perhaps you can meet them half way.
their vantage point and that may drive different decisions or behaviors. Maybe you’ll even have an “aha” moment in which you finally understand their perspective. You don’t have to embrace it, just accept that it exists. You don’t have to go all the way there; you can usually see it, if you’ll just meet them half way.
lighten the mood.
though we make many of them out to be that serious. The young are especially prone to over-reacting to events, since they have no real base of knowledge or wisdom to draw upon. To many of them every moment of crisis is an OMG moment. Later in life they become “been there, done that” moments, which your wisdom helps you understand didn’t kill you the first time and probably won’t kill you this time either. Being rejected for a date or getting a pimple before the big dance is not life-ending.
Sometimes the situation at hand is so dark or sad or overwhelming that we might have difficulty finding any humor in it at all. At times like that I often think of the Al Capp character Joe Btfsplk from the Little Abner cartoon. Joe walked around with a little dark rain cloud over his head all the time because he was the world’s worst Jinx. Bad things always happened around Joe. Instead of feeling like Joe, I find a little spark of humor in the thought of Joe that helps lighten my mood.
face in the shaving mirror almost every morning as a way to start my day with a little humor and a mechanism to help me not be so serious all the time. Try it tomorrow morning and see if that doesn’t put you in a better mood to start the day.
prejudicial thoughts about people that you see on the screen, especially people who are “different”. Sometimes when a story about a crime starts on the news I find myself having pre-conceived notions about what the perpetrator will look like if they show a picture later in the story. Many times I am wrong, but my own prejudices have taken over.
that person, we form an opinion about that person; an opinion that prejudices our feelings about them without a word being spoken. Does something like that ever happen with you? You may pick your own set of visual cues.
what and who they are. In fact you may end up loving what or who they are and the free spirit within them that gives them the freedom to be “different.”
Like, Jack, I first knew Muhammad Ali as Cassius Clay. I remember listing to that fight on the radio with my dad. No one thought that the brash young fighter stood a chance against the hulking Sonny Liston. Clay soon converted to Islam and changed his name to Muhammad Ali and began the strange journey of a fighter who preached love and peace to all who would listen.
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suspicion, to those that you meet. Be open and attentive to their needs, not withdrawn and concerned about your own safety. You will be pleasantly surprised how much better life can feel when you show love to others and get their love in return.
best listener that I’ve ever met.
inner child-like being that was once so blissfully happy playing with its own toes you may come to realize that everything that you have stripped away to get back to that state is basically meaningless. You can be at peace with yourself. Once you get to that state of having a peaceful heart, the rest of today’s quote takes over and you can begin to really enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
So, to be complete, today’s post headline should say, “Don’t sleep on the problem, sleep on the solution.”
pray about it. When you pray about a problem you aren’t really asking God to make the problem go away, but rather to give you the strength, courage and wisdom to deal with the issues that constitute the problem. You are also asking God to be with you through the problem resolution. Sleep will come easier when you drift off knowing that you can now say “We’ve got this” instead of feeling alone in the thought that “I’ve got this.” After all, what problem stands a chance when you have God in your corner?
on your side. Maybe that will make jotting down three things that you are going to do tomorrow a lot easier.
That’s why we put our money in the Red Salvation Army kettles at Christmas or maybe we join a prayer circle at church and pray for people that we don’t even know who have been through some natural disaster in some foreign place. Both actions have a positive impact that we don’t get to see directly.
show that you cared enough to take the time to pray for those in need and for solutions to the big, seemingly impossible problems that plague the world, such as hunger or diseases or discrimination. After all, where are you going to take those big problems and find someone who has a proven track record of doing the impossible and performing miracles? People of faith know that somewhere, somehow, someone will benefit from those prayers. You may not see the results, but you know that there are always results when you ask God for help.
So, if you care, do something about it. Maybe you can take some direct action, maybe not; but, you can always pray. Maybe Mead’s little quote should be slightly changed to read – “Never believe that a few praying people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”
There are certainly plenty of stories in the Bible of God providing when called upon, some of them even involving food or drink. The Bible is also full of references of mankind “hungering or thirsting” for religious signs or reinforcement of beliefs. It’s as if we can only go so long on one serving of faith before we need another “meal”, another helping of God’s love. That new helping of faith comes through prayer. We ask God and He provides. We need no spoon for the nourishment for our souls that comes looking upward and opening our mouths in prayer.
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