Take the chance to change today…

October 17, 2022

It’s Monday, so you have a new chance to, and a new week in which to, change your life. Every day and every week start with a blank map to where you will end up. Each change that you consciously make changes the trajectory of your life, no matter how small.

There was an attention-grabbing story in the new recently about the crashing of a small spacecraft into a huge asteroid in order to see how that might change the trajectory of the asteroid. The experiment was conducted to see if we might be able to prevent a collision of an asteroid with earth by altering its path. The experiment was deemed a success and pointed to a way to protect Earth from possible cataclysmic asteroid strikes like those thought to have killed off the dinosaurs.  

I bring that up because people often think that they must make big changes to their lives all at once in order to change their trajectories. That is not true, but it prevents many from even trying. The fact is that we can effect big changes by doing a series of little things, each of which provides a nudge away from what seemed to be our old destiny.

I think a key is found in believing the message in today’s graphic that each day brings a new opportunity to change your life is some way, no matter how small. Those changes will add up over time.

Perhaps the change that you make will be to smile and say hello to a stranger today. That doesn’t sound like much, but that smile, and greeting could make a big difference in that person’s day and you making the effort will make a difference in your day. That difference will nudge you in a new direction.

Just taking the time each morning to think about making some small change in your life will result in changes to what might have happened during the day. It also changes you from being into reactive mode to a more pro-active mode. That in itself will change your life.

So, take the chance to change today. Think about it and then make it happen. Welcome to the new you!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Give yourself some credit…

October 15, 2022

In my church we take time at the beginning of each service to ask for forgiveness for “things that we have done and those things that we have left undone.” I have posted here in the past about the things left undone. The things that we have done that are wrong needs little definition, although sometimes we need help “seeing” those things as wrong.

But what about taking time to reflect and celebrate those things that we did right and the good things that we have accomplished in life. Why do we take so much time focusing upon the negative and not very much on the positives of our lives? There is little or no time set aside for that. I’m not talking about being modest about your accomplishments or not bragging about a success or win in life. Too many of the accomplishments that we have in life go unrecognized even by ourselves. Give yourself some credit.

The parents who successfully raised their children and sent them off in the world prepared to be responsible adults (and those still working on that) should stop and congratulate themselves for a job well done. That was hard work involving a great deal of self-sacrifice that you better than anyone else understand. Congratulate yourself and feel good about that accomplishment. Give yourself some credit.

Individuals who see injustice or prejudice being practiced in schools or in the workplace and who stand up to it need to stop and congratulate themselves for not passively remaining silent or for ignoring those practices. If nothing else, you have exposed those practices and you need to feel good about that. Those who try to ridicule you for being “woke” to those wrongs are a part of the problem. Congratulate yourself for not still being asleep to those wrongs. Give yourself some credit.

Those who volunteer at local non-profits organizations, at community food banks or for events in their communities like parades or festivals seldom expect or get the praise that they deserve, but those events and those community non-profit organizations would not be possible without them. Stop and feel good about yourself for being a volunteer in your community or church. Give yourself some credit.

Sometimes the accomplishment that needs to be celebrated it is just through living your life in such a way that others might be inspired to make changes in their lives by seeing what you are doing. Take time to congratulate yourself for that and to reinforce the resolve to continue down that path in life. Give yourself some credit.

There will be plenty of time to get done the things that you still want to do and perhaps change some things in your life to correct some wrongs; but, for now, take a moment to think about all that you have accomplished to get here and congratulate yourself. You deserve it. Give yourself some credit.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Who lost sight of who?

October 13, 2022

A September post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote-

“Thank you, Lord for seeing me.  It’s so easy to get lost these days in the shuffle and the noise.”    (George Beverly Shea song)

My immediate thought was, who really got lost? It wasn’t God who lost track of you; it was you who let the noises of the day distract you away from God. Thankfully God never loses track of us and is always there when we need Him.

This morning as I was scrolling through the daily news feed that shows up on my computer, I noticed a story about God being in our DNA, or at least the concept of God being inherent in humans. It went into a deep scientific explanation of the very universal human tendency to come to a conclusion that God exists. One has only to Google the question, “Does God exist” to see the vast library of articles and scientific papers that have been written on the topic.

Of course, the faster way to answer that question is to get down on your knees and ask God directly. Once you empty your mind of all other thoughts and block out the noise of the world, the whisper in the back of your mind that is God’s way of communicating with you becomes clear.

So, take some time each day to just stop the shuffle and block out the noise of the world and just talk to God. Let down your shields, turn off your ego, drop the pretense of being in charge of things and say the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done”. God sees you. God hears you. Listen and you will also hear Him.

Have a great day. You’re in good hands and it’s not Allstate.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Create yourself…

October 12, 2022

I like the graphic below that was in an email that I got recently…

Create yourself graphic

I think too many people (especially the young) wander around in life professing that they are trying to “find themselves”. That is such a passive cop-out to making the effort required to be (create) yourself. Life isn’t just a passive thing that you just experience as it happens. Living is an active verb and to live life to the fullest one must take actions to make it what you want it to be. Create yourself.

If you want life to be more interesting and fulfilling, you must do things that are more interesting and fulfilling, to create a “you” that is more interesting and fulfilled. That is an active approach to life. Another cop-out is allowing yourself to be labeled and then accepting those labels and allowing them to dictate your life. That seems to me to be surrendering to a “victim” complex about life – the “poor me, life is so unfair” approach. Don’t go there. Create yourself.

A key to taking a more active, positive and fulfilling view of life is to first accept the wisdom of this quote from the Jack’s Winning Words blog today – “One of the happiest moments in life is when you have the courage to let go of what you can’t change.”  (Lessons Learned in Life, Inc) Have courage. Create yourself.

Many of us (I too often must include myself in this group) spend entirely too much time wrestling with issues or problems that we cannot change, especially in remorse over things that have already happened. It’s over, let it go and move on. Learn from the past, don’t dwell in it.  Create yourself.

Some spend so much time worrying about possible negative outcomes of future events that they don’t have time for the here and now. If we let worry about possible negative outcomes stop us from acting, we will be forever stuck in the past. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”  (T.S. Eliot) Create yourself.

Perhaps if one starts each day with some new goal in mind – maybe making a new friend or trying a new food or going to a new place – you will find at the end of the day that you have created a new person, one with new experiences and knowledge. A new you. Try it.

Forget about finding yourself. Create yourself.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Forgive yourself…free yourself…move on…

October 8, 2022

Every so often I see a series of quotes on a topic that just seem to make sense when put together, Such was the case this morning in an email that contained a series of quotes by separate people on the topic of letting go of things.

All I had to do was to arrange them in the proper order and they made perfect sense.

You have two choices: to control your mind or to let your mind control you. – Paulo Coelho

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli

You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending. – James R. Sherman

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free. – Deepak Chopra

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness is just another name for freedom. – Byron Katie

Forgive yourself…free yourself…move on. – Norm Werner

Have a great new beginning. Move on and enjoy the brand new outcome.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Work at it…

October 7, 2022

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like “struggle.” To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” (Mister Rogers)

My children grew up watching Mr. Rogers, so I ended up watching a lot of it, too. I like this piece of advice from Fred Rogers because it correctly states a fact about love that is oft overlooked. Society has too often accepted the idealized notion that we “fall in love”. I have learned over time that love is not a passive thing that one falls into. Love must be worked at to be successful. A big part of that effort is the acceptance of the things that one might wish were different about the person that they love. Work at it.

Couples whom you might know who appear to have loving successful relationships do not live in some dream world of perfection; instead, they have worked at understanding and accepting each other. They have found ways, not to overlook their partner’s faults (if that is even the right way to express differences) but to accept them and go on with life. Work at it.

The young often mistake physical attraction and sexual pleasures for love, but both change over time and if there is not more to the relationship the result is most often divorce. I often hear from loving couples that their partner is also their best friend – the person that they most enjoy being around and the one person that they can count on. Those are people who have worked at love. Work at it.

Trust, openness, sharing, and acceptance are all parts of what makes up a successful relationship – a loving relationship. Those things are only possible once both partners start accepting the other as they are. Work at it.

There is a quote attributed to the late Queen Elizabeth II – “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Grief is a past-tense way of looking at love. I would submit that a present-tense way of looking at love is – “Acceptance is the price we pay for love.” Love is an active, living thing that must be worked at to be successful. Work at it.

I cannot complete my thoughts on this topic without touching upon abusive relationships. In those cases, it is a big mistake to accept that abusive behavior or to believe that you can somehow change that partner. An even bigger mistake is believing that it somehow your fault that you are being abused. The only thing that is your fault is staying in that relationship. Get out and get on with life. The love that you are seeking to share will not be found in that type of relationship. Life will never be perfect, but it does not have to be abusive. Work on it.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Make a difference today!

October 3, 2022

You can add that it’s not who you know to the statement above. I am a reasonably educated person and I know quite a few people, some of importance, but most just ordinary people like me. Neither of those facts causes anything to happen to make any difference. Knowing that something is wrong and doing nothing to correct it makes no difference. Knowing that someone needs help but passing by on the other side and doing nothing to help, makes no difference. Walking past that trash on the ground, but not stopping to pick it up, makes no difference. Observing bullying or the berating treatment of others without acting to intercede makes no difference. Sitting and watching the plight of others on the news without acting to help in some way, makes no difference.

In all those examples above you know that something is not right, but if you fail to act nothing happens. Perhaps you try to rationalize your inaction with the thought that your little contribution to a disaster relief effort is inconsequential. What if everyone thought that way? Nothing would happen. Rather think of your $1 or $20 contribution as being what bought a person in need a blanket or a meal. By doing what you did some small measure of relief was brought to someone’s life. You won’t ever know what that small measure of relief is, but you can feel good about it anyway – you took action and that made a difference.

Feeling empathy with victims of disaster or people in need is the right reaction; however, taking action to act upon that empathy is the correct reaction. Make a difference today. Do something!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Just do it – the unexpected…

September 29, 2022

“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” (Fay Weldon)

I suppose that today’s quote could have been shared under the headline – Don’t bore yourself. Life can become so routine and so repetitive that you do actually bore yourself. It is easy to convince yourself that not trying new things is just being safe or cautious. When we stop trying new things or doing the unexpected we can become boring to others and to ourselves. Do the unexpected.

As one gets older it is especially east to stop trying new things that involve physical activity, since one becomes less capable of such activities. While that is likely prudent with activities requiring great strength or endurance, we often let that hesitancy to try physical activities spread across too wide of a spectrum and cause us to become sedentary. Age may slow your daily walk to a shuffle but don’t let it make you a couch potato. It’s really boring on the couch. Do the unexpected.

It is even more insidious when we allow that hesitancy to do the unexpected to interfere with our relationships or making new friends. One thing that many seniors start to feel in the tightening of the circle of friends that they may have, due to deaths or other causes. The world can begin to feel smaller and less friendly. One needs to always keep adding new friends. Do the unexpected.

So, while it may be impractical or even dangerous to take up rock climbing or white water kayaking when you get older, it is still possible to make new friend and gain new knowledge by sharing experiences with others. Instead of withdrawing and avoiding new people, make it your goal to make at least one new acquaintance or friend each day. Smile and speak to the people you meet. Reach out your hand and greet them with a genuine interest in what they may have to say. Do the unexpected.

Not every encounter will result in making a new friend. Not every person that you meet will even return the interest or make the effort to stop and get to know you. But those who do welcome and return your effort will provide you with the unexpected – new knowledge and new experiences. You may be surprised how many of those people were hoping that someone would acknowledge and talk to them. Do the unexpected.

Doing the unexpected does not need to be dangerous or to involve great physical activity, but it does have to involve you getting out of your comfort zone and taking the risk to do the unexpected. Sometimes not much happens that you can see but taking the time to smile and maybe say a kind word to someone that you pass may change their whole day. Just thinking about that can also give an unexpected boost to your day. Do the unexpected.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be brave, choose the third alternative…

September 22, 2022

Today Pastor Freed used this quote ion his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “Fear makes cowards of us all.”  (Shakespeare)

That brought to my mind the common statement that when faced with danger (something that we fear) the response alternatives are most often fight or flight. Yet, there is a third alternative that we perhaps too seldom choose – seek to understand. Be brave.

It is fear that provokes racist or homophobic responses in people when they meet someone who looks or acts different from them.  That fear is driven more by ignorance than by any real threat. Both of the alternatives of fight or flight are reactions born of cowardness and both are failures. Only by facing the unknown danger and trying to understand it can we learn from the situation and grow as human beings. Be brave.

You may not be able to control the wave of fear that washes over you when meeting someone who is different looking, perhaps even scary or threatening looking. That fear is fear of the unknown. The real choice that you face is taking action to avoid the perceived danger by flight, or even by fight, or regaining control of yourself and trying to understand the person or situation that you are facing. Be brave.

By trying the third alternative you are trying to understand two things – what is it that is causing the fear reaction in you and what, if any, is the real threat posed by this person or this situation? If you perceive that the treat is real, the flight response is almost always the safest way to proceed, rather than making things worse by choosing to fight. In any event, stopping to ask yourself why you reacted out of fear to the person, or the situation, will let you examine the premise upon which that fear was based. Prejudices are ugly things that are easy to recognize even within yourself; yet, still difficult to deal with. Be brave.

Acquiescence or going along to get along, especially in the face of prejudices like racism and homophobia, is an insidious form of cowardness. Staying silent is a form of agreement with the racists or homophobes with whom may associate and makes you an accomplice to their prejudiced behavior. Remaining silent when you witness such behavior never makes you feel better about yourself later. Speak up. Be brave.

So, resolve today that rather than continuing to limit yourself to only the two responses to the perceived threats that life brings your way – fight or flight – you will instead remain calm and seek to better understand both your own response and what real danger, of any, there is in the situation. Knee-jerk reactions driven by prejudices are just Jerk reactions. Be brave and choose the third alternative.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be thankful always…

September 20, 2022

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote – “We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.”  (Unknown)

I find that I often stop and thank God for also saving me from harm, embarrassment or other of life’s potential calamities. Maybe that is acknowledging the question,” Why did this NOT happen to me?”

I choose to believe that God was watching over me and led me away from danger or harm. Perhaps that is a moment of happiness that the quote alluded to, but I prefer to think of it as a separate example of God’s influence on my life.

Do you have moments that you can reflect on and be thankful that something didn’t happen to you or maybe there was some calamity or embarrassment that you were saved from experiencing? Do you think that was just happenstance? If not, did you take the time to thank God?

We seem to be more focused upon thanking God for things that we may have prayed for to happen, rather than thinking about all of the times that we should be thankful that something didn’t happen. That seems to me to be an attempt at drawing a line between those things that God is and is not in control of.

If you pray, “Not my will, but thy will be done.” It is much easier it is just to acknowledge that He is in control of everything and take the time to thank Him for the good things that happen as well as asking for help getting through the bad things. So, when you have those, “Wow that was close”, encounters with things that could have gone wrong, take the time to thank God for saving your bacon again.

Be thankful always.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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