Forgive yourself…free yourself…move on…

October 8, 2022

Every so often I see a series of quotes on a topic that just seem to make sense when put together, Such was the case this morning in an email that contained a series of quotes by separate people on the topic of letting go of things.

All I had to do was to arrange them in the proper order and they made perfect sense.

You have two choices: to control your mind or to let your mind control you. – Paulo Coelho

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – Steve Maraboli

You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending. – James R. Sherman

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free. – Deepak Chopra

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness is just another name for freedom. – Byron Katie

Forgive yourself…free yourself…move on. – Norm Werner

Have a great new beginning. Move on and enjoy the brand new outcome.

But, what ought we to do?

January 8, 2020

Jack Freed used this quote today in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words“There are two freedoms…the false where one is free to do what he likes; the true where one is free to do what he ought.”  (Charles Kingsley)

I suspect that, upon reading that quote, most immediately thought of the first example of freedom that the quote references. Indeed, it is that self-centered, self-righteous and uncaring definition of freedom to do whatever we like that is at the root of much of today’s political and social turmoil. The “freedom” that some proclaim they are seeking is really a form of anarchy, with little to no concern for the welfare of others. They say, “I’ve got my health care covered and I don’t care about you having none” or maybe, “I’ve got a home and food on the table. Go find your own place to live and food to eat, but don’t bother me.” That is not really freedom; it is a formula for the failure of a society.

So, how is doing what one ought to do – caring for others, helping others, sacrificing for others – the real freedom?  It begins by first accepting Jesus into your life, as written in John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

But, free to do what?We can see what we ought to be doing in the Bible in Galatians 5:14 –  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” And, again in Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Maybe figuring out what we ought to be doing isn’t that hard after all. The hard part is letting go of the self-interest and self-centeredness that is so prevalent in our society today.

Freedom is not all about you doing whatever you want. It’s about you seeing what needs to be done to help others around you and taking what actions you can to provide that help. Maybe you are barely providing for your own family with what you make at work. You probably still have some spare time that you could use to help others. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, drive for Meals on Wheels, work in the local food bank sorting food or maybe stuffing food in backpacks for the local Blessings-in-a-Backpack program. There are tons of ways to help others available in any community.

Do what you ought to be doing and what you know is right. Start by embracing Jesus in your life and the rest will come naturally. Set yourself free.

Don’t allow yourself to be imprisoned.

November 22, 2014

Gandhi“You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” – Mahatma Ghandi

The sentiment expressed by Ghandi in today’s quote was echoed by Nelson Mandela years later when he was asked about his imprisonment. He put it this way in his book, Long Walk to Freedom – “I realized that they could take everything from me except my Nelson Mandelamind and my heart. They could not take those things. Those things I still had control over. And I decided not to give them away.”

There are many forms of imprisonment, some involving the legal system or powers that be and some forced upon people by circumstance. One may be incarcerated by the government in most countries of the world, sometimes just for disagreeing with that government. Both Ghandi and Mandela faced incarceration and persecution due to their fights against unjust governments. Ghandi chose the path of peaceful civil disobedience, while Mandela chose to take the fight to the government after becoming disillusioned with peaceful means. Both men were incarcerated from time to time (Mandela for many, many years) and both came to realize that, though their jailers could contain their bodies, they could not imprison their minds. In essence they found that they could not really be imprisoned while their minds could still wander free.

The same is true of people imprisoned in bodies that don’t work as they should. One of the greatest minds of our time – Stephan Hawking – has been imprisoned in a body laid to waste by amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, yet his mind has soared to places that others couldn’t imagine and he has made major contributions to our understanding of space and the originals of the universe. Hawking did not let his enfeebled body imprison his mind.

In our daily lives we may encounter many examples of people who refuse to be taken prisoner by their circumstances. Some of these will be our wounded warriors who return from war with massive, life changing injuries. The ones that you often see on the news shows are ones who refuse to let their loss of limbs or other injuries imprison them in a life of dependence or self-pity. They have focused their minds on what can be, not what was or even what is. They have already freed their minds to take flight and are now training their broken bodies to follow.
man mad at himselfThere are also often stories of the victims of crime forgiving their attackers as a way to let go of the bitterness or hatred that might have been their initial reaction. These are often people who have suffered great losses; sometimes just the loss of the sense of safety or security, but, perhaps injury or the death of a loved one. The people in those stories have also reached the conclusion that holding onto feeling s of hatred or bitterness will effective imprison them, as did Mandela. Mandela had a quote that covers that, too. He recalled later the day that he was released from prison – “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” ― Nelson Mandela

For many of us, hatred or bitterness or envy or prejudice, are the things that imprison us; not physically, but in our minds. Those are the chains that we must throw off to really be free. We may be free to move about at will. We may have our physical health and full, normal use of our bodies; but, if we live in a constant state of hatred or prejudice towards others we are in a prison that is far caringworse than those suffered through my Ghandi and Mandela.

How can we avoid our mental prisons or free ourselves from the ones that we might already be in? A starting point is to acknowledge to ourselves that we have some hatred, some prejudice, some bitterness, some feelings inside, in our minds that are imprisoning us and preventing us from freely moving ahead. Once you can acknowledge the issue, the person, the problem or the thing that you have bad feelings about, you can begin to deal with it. A first step might be to ask yourself, why? Why can I not let go of this? Why can I not get beyond it?

Many times, if you ask yourself those questions, you may find that you are still in some stage of denial. Holding on to the rage or the hatred or the bitterness is just a way to put off having to deal directly with the loss involved. If you can deal with accepting that loss first, it might be easier to see that holding on to those bad feelings is doing nothing to help you get on with life. In fact they are your current jailer; and both you and the person who harmed you are being held captive in the same prison cell. Put them aside and walk out of that prison. Saying “I forgive you”, to the person who butterfly 3harmed you frees both of you from that prison.

So, today, free yourself from whatever mental prisons you find yourself in and get on with life. If you are physically constrained somehow, let your mind loose and refuse to be imprisoned by cell walls or a dysfunctional body. Freedom is a concept that lives in the mind, no matter what your circumstances.