What do you know about you?

July 28, 2021

I saved this quote about a month ago – “Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” – Fred Rogers

As I’ve looked at it over time, my thoughts on it have changed a few times. I’m not sure that I like the word “discovering” at the beginning. Perhaps accepting or dealing with would be a better way to start, but I suppose the revelations we make about ourselves as we become more conscious of our thoughts and actions could be classified as discoveries.

I also think the focus should be more on what we do about those discoveries than just about making them. How does one come to grips with discovering racist, homophobic, misogynistic, or anti-Semitic bents in one’s thinking? How does one deal with fears that are unfounded and based on biases or bad information that was instilled in us as children? When one is confronted with irrefutable evidence that a “truth” that we had long held is false, what are we to do?

Facts and beliefs have always coexisted in an uneasy mix in our minds and our perception of ourselves has always been made up of that same uneasy mix. Perhaps that is why some may have a tough time having love for themselves – they don’t really like some of the things that they see in themselves, yet they are unwilling to change what they see.

Discovering or getting to know yourself requires time to think and reflect on the thought processes that drive the decisions that one makes in life. How many of your decision are based upon real thought and how many are just knee-jerk reactions, based upon long held, but perhaps baseless biases or prejudices? When you recognize those poorly based decisions, what do you do about them? It’s a conundrum.

Without going to far down this rabbit home, there are a couple of passages from the bible that provide some guidance and hope for dealing with these issues.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2

-AND-

“Whoever gets sense loves his own soul; he who keeps understanding will discover good.” – Proverbs 19:8

Some people wear those little bracelets that have WWJD on them – What Would Jesus Do? Asking that question whenever you hit one of those knee jerk moments may help you at least stop to think about what is driving your reaction to the situation. So long as you are uncomfortable with the answer there is hope. Stop and try to discern the will of God – what is acceptable to God.

You may discover truths about yourself that you don’t like and that is OK, Discovery is the first step to recognizing and correcting them, it is the start to discerning what is good and acceptable and perfect. You may never get to perfect, but you can sure get further away from those old bad habits and reactions. As Mr. Rogers said, “It is worth the effort”.

What do you know about yourself and what is driving your decisions? Think about it.


You decide…

June 18, 2021

“One day, or Day One?  You decide!”  (Paulo Coelho) 

That was Pastor Freed’s quote of the day in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, today. He used it to discuss pursuing one’s goals and dreams for tomorrow. To me it seemed to pair well with another quote that I found and saved recently –

“No matter what troubles have befallen you or what difficulties you have caused yourself or others, with love for yourself you can change, grow, make amends, and learn… Real love does not encourage you to ignore your problems or deny your mistakes and imperfections. You see them clearly and still opt to love.” — Sharon Salzberg

I have posted here a few times about love for oneself being critical in life. I have also opined that love for oneself begins by accepting the forgiveness and love of God.

Most of us spend way too much time beating ourselves up for mistakes that we make. We second guess and agonize about what might have been. We find it hard to let go of the past and accept its influence on the present and our future.

We are told in the Bible that if we accept Christ into our lives – “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – (2 Corinthians 5:17)

None of us is perfect. We all make mistakes, some more serious than others; however, all of us are given another chance to repent and return to God. If we turn to God, ask for His forgiveness and then ACCEPT that forgiveness, we can once again love ourselves and make this Day One of our new lives, instead of just another day of regret and sadness.

When that happens in your life, it is Day One of the new you, that is a you that God loves and a new you that you can love. If you can get there, you can begin loving others, too.

So, is this just another day in a life that is not what you hoped it would be or not something that you are proud of or is this Day One of a new life that you can feel good about. Ask God to make this your Day One.

You decide.


Start your day with love and the rest will take care of itself.

February 18, 2019

Think about how much better your days will go if you take the time each morning to refresh your feeling of God’s love for you and your love for yourself. Start by remembering that God loves you unconditionally and is always with you. Then take the time to reinforce your love for yourself, who you are, what you are where you are and where you are going. You must first love yourself, before you can love others.

One of the better self-help books ever written is the 1967 book I’m OK You’re OK by Thomas Harris. Harris wrote the book as a practical guide to transactional analysis as a method for solving problems in life – how to get along with others. The key to the advice in Harris’ Book may be found in the first two words of title – I’m OK. That part is saying, “I love myself”. Only then can you move on to the “You’re OK” part. The book, and the courses that are taught from it, teach how to accept and interact with others in or day-to-day world, by recognizing and accepting where you and they are coming from in any interaction.

So, it is important, before you go out in the world and start encountering others and situations that you must deal with, that you establish in your own mind that you are OK; that you love yourself for who you are and are therefore able to love others for who they are. It is much easier to love yourself, if you are not carrying around a big load of guilt – guilt that you feel for something that you did or left undone. That is why acknowledging all of your sins, transgressions, omissions or whatever and asking for God’s forgiveness will give you the foundation upon which you can then build your love of self and face the new day with confidence and a positive attitude.

There is, in that moment of prayer, a point at which you feel the load of your sins being lifted from you and you feel the sense of self-loathing being replaced by self-loving.  That is your “I’m OK” moment. Keep that feeling with you throughout the day and the rest of the day will be OK, too. It all starts with love – love of God and God’s love back to you.

Try it. You will be OK.