Have no regrets…

April 2, 2025


“Minimize regret by making decisions based on who you are, not who you wish you were.” (Unknown)
I recently saw that saying somewhere on-line (I can’t remember where). I Googled it and it turned out to closely match the sayings of a life coach who teaches people how to make decisions with minimal regrets. Who knew such people exist?


The other thing that comes up when you Google that phrase are stories about how Jeff Bezos made his decision to leave the Wall Street world and start Amazon. Out of his experiences has come a concept called the Regret Framework, a methodology for making decisions with minimal regret potential. I had no idea that a whole framework existed for avoiding regrets.


While interesting in the context of decision making, I think the basic concept of accepting and understanding who you are and using that understanding as the foundation for living your life is the key. I have posted here before about accepting and loving yourself (see Love Yourself First, and Forgive Yourself). Those are ways that you acknowledge and accept who you are. When you do that, you let go of the burden that comes with trying to be like someone else and can focus on just being the best you that you can be. You will have no regrets.


Our measurement-oriented society does not make living without regrets easy. From a very young age we are encouraged (indeed required) to measure ourselves against others. It is not just about how you did; it is about how did you do against Billy or Sally? Everything becomes a contest where there are declared winners and losers. Regrets are associated with being the loser in whatever it is. Those are most often self-inflicted regrets. Stop measuring yourself against others. You will have no regrets.


One of the organizations that has rejected that scenario is the Special Olympics, where every participant in an event is considered to be a winner for having tried their best. Everyone gets a medal and no one has to have regrets. Be the best participant in life that you can be. You will have no regrets.


If you accept and learn to love who you are you will have no need to measure yourself against others. You will stop trying to meet expectations based upon someone that you wished you could be. You allow yourself to be happy with what you were able to accomplish. You will have no regrets.


Forgiving yourself and accepting yourself are both solitary experiences and one might think that you will feel lonely in such experiences. I posted about that to in Don’t be lonely…love yourself. You will have no regrets.


If you find that you need a framework for your life so that you don’t end up with regrets, look to your faith. There are tons of examples and guidance for a regret free life to be found in the Bible. No better example for living a regret-free life exists than Jesus. Jesus does not ask that you measure yourself against him. Rather he sets the example of what to strive for, His life provides goals for us to use for our lives. Keep those goals in mind and You will have no regrets.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Have no regrets…

October 7, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 10/7/24 – Originally sent March 6, 2010.

“Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.” (George Halas) When I was growing up, the Chicago Bears were “my” team, and I admired George “Papa Bear” Halas. Win or lose, he could never be accused of not giving his best as a coach. His quote is more than about playing football; it’s about playing the game of life. Give it your best today. 😉 Jack

 Many times, giving something your best effort will still result in not winning. I chose to say it that way because, if you gave it your best, you did not lose; you just fell a little short of winning. If you watch sports events that involve individual competitions, such as track and field, you will often see athletes who did not win the event, but who are happy and maybe even celebrating because they may have achieved a personal best in the event. Have no regrets…

Life presents us with many opportunities (some might say challenges) and each time it does we are faced with the choice of giving it our best or just going through the motions. One almost always regrets later that they did not give the opportunity their best effort. Have no regrets…

In our personal lives many have lingering regrets about not being able to summon up the courage to ask out that person we’ve been admiring from afar. Maybe we regret having passed by the person begging for help. What would your best have been if you had not ignored that opportunity? Perhaps we held back when the call when out for volunteers to help on some project or effort that seemed hard or unglamorous. What difference to that cause would you have made, had you given it your best effort? Have no regrets…

A major difference between highly successful people and those who are not as successful in life is that the highly successful people don’t wait for opportunities to present themselves; they seek them out or create those opportunities themselves. Win or lose at those opportunities those highly successful people never regret having tried and giving it their best effort. In fact, many times they eventually win, or succeed, because they keep coming back and giving it their best shot again and again. Have no regrets…

Thomas Edison is the classic example of a successful person who did not let failures stop him. He is quoted as having said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”. Edison tried to learn something from each failure. So, keep giving it your best and learn from any failures. Most of all remember George Hallis’s advice and give it your all. Have no regrets…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t stress out, get stronger instead…

October 1, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 9/30/24 – Originally sent September 24, 2021.
“It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable.” (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) Cardiologists use stress tests to warn people if they need to “slow down” before the heart reaches the breaking point. Many things, besides a treadmill, can put the heart under stress. Maybe it’s the job, listening to the news, or a relationship that’s not going well. Stress can cause misery, but it can also make us stronger. Athletes stress their bodies when training to be stronger when it matters. If you’re dealing with stress, try to build strength from it. It isn’t easy, but it can work. 😉  Jack

Let’s begin by admitting that much, if not most, of the stress in our lives is what might be called a self-inflicted wound. It is us reacting badly to what are largely imagined things. I’ve commented here many times about how wonderful the human mind is at imagining all of the possible bad outcomes to almost any situation. Imagination is a powerful human thing that has led to all sorts of useful inventions and discoveries; however, it has also led to many cases of psychosis and even to depression. Stress feeds our imagination and then feeds on what our imagination has conjured up. That is a powerful loop which is sometimes hard to break.

Stress is a fellow traveler with fear, anger, remorse, regret and other negative reactions that we have to life’s twists and turns, whether they are expected or not. Since stress is mainly self-imposed, it is usually up to us to deal with it ourselves. I have danced around this issue before. On August 8, 2015 posted “Dealing with Life’s Problems” and on August 3, 2022, penned the post “Dump Your Ego and Find Peace”. In both cases I was discussing how to deal with things that would cause stress in your life.

One of the keys to dealing with life and stress is to be able to Forgive Yourself. Which I posted about this on August 12, 2021. Since you may being stressed because you are beating yourself up about something that you did or maybe that you did not do; you need to forgive yourself before you can move on. Sometimes it helps to realize that God forgives you, whatever it is. And if God can forgive you, who are you to go against God’s will and continue to beat yourself up? Surrender to Gods will byu using the little prayer that I use in my posts quite often – “Not my will, but Thy will be done.”

If you can get top that point and honestly use that prayer, you will be surprised how quickly the stress fades away. You might also be surprised how much stronger you feel after that. Why? Because you have taken control of yourself by trusting God with your life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

I can see clearly now…

December 11, 2020

That headline was an opening lyric from the song made famous by Johnny Nash –

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright)
Bright (bright) sunshiny day.

The quote used in today’s installment of the Jack’s Winning Words blog made me think of that song. Jack used – “Some things are just better left unsaid, and I usually realize that right after I say them.”

That quote got me to thinking about things that would have been best left unsaid and deeds that should have never been done. I suppose we all have some regrets for things that we have said or done, or maybe things left undone or unsaid. It is much easier to clearly see things like that in retrospect than to have the personal discipline to do or say the right things as events are unfolding.

The important things it to recognize life’s mistakes, forgive yourself for them, learn from them and move on with life. I hope that by learning from them, one avoids repeating them. As for the things that we say, one has only to look to Proverbs for some good advice on that –

 “Evil words destroy one’s friends; wise discernment rescues the godly.” (Proverbs 11:9).

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but hard words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15: 1)

“Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

One of the things that the quote in Jack’s blog highlights is that speaking without first thinking is what usually gets us into trouble. Blurting out a response or a thought that pops into your mind, without pausing to give it some thought often leads to regret.

The best advice might be always to pause before you speak or respond to give your mind the time needed to consider what you are about to say. There are many reasons not to say something, not the least of which is to consider if to might be hurtful to someone else. There is never a good reason to say something that would hurt someone else.

Maybe we should all wear a little wristband with S-T-S on it for Stop, Think, Speak. That is much better than what today’s quote would put on that wristband – S-T-R (Speak, Think, Regret). If we all did that perhaps the words from the famous Frank Sinatra song, My Way, would apply – “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but them again too few to mention.”

Stop and see clearly before you speak.

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Posted by Norm Werner