The key that only you can hold…

June 11, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Nov 12, 2015 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” (Sent by MBO) When John Lennon was 5-yrs-old the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he answered, “Happy!” he was told he didn’t understand the assignment….but I think he did. The pursuit of happiness creates a life well lived, as long as that pursuit includes the happiness of others. 😉  Jack

It seems like too many people surrender the key to their happiness to the wishes of someone else. Perhaps it is locking themselves into a career that their parents wanted for them and not what they truly wanted to do. Maybe it is becoming involved in a relationship (maybe even a marriage) with someone who constantly wants to manipulate you into doing what they want.  It could be that you think that you must always get approval or praise from someone else in order to be happy. Whatever the reason, you have put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Happiness is also one of those terms that seem to have different definitions for different people. Some people spend more time being concerned about being unhappy than thinking about what would make them happy. I think many (if not most) people would have a hard time putting into words what would make them happy. That makes it all the harder to pursue happiness.

So, maybe the key to happiness is to get a better understanding of what happiness is for you and then think about what you have to do to get from where you are to that place of happiness. Once you get that understanding you can begin the pursuit of that happiness. For many people that pursuit of happiness is actually what makes them happy. Whatever applies to you just keep that key to happiness in your own pocket.

I think that one prerequisite to finding happiness is to let go of your day to day worries about things that you can’t control anyway. I have opined here a few times about the little prayer that I use – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” – to let go of those things. Prayer may also help you clarify for yourself what would really make you happy and can help you take back the key to your happiness from wherever it has been. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to find your happiness.

Some people are exuberate and loud in their happiness while others may express their happiness with a quiet smile and perhaps a sigh. What about you? Do you ever think about what would make you happy? Do you know what would make you happy?  Are you pursuing your happiness or have you given the key to that happiness to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take back that key and spend some time pursuing that which would make you happy. What would make you happy? Pray about it and grab that key.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Find healing in your memories…

May 27, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 25, 2009.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” (Seen on a headstone in Ireland) This is a good one to think about while Memorial Day is still fresh in our minds. We all have our memories that can never be taken away from us, don’t we? 😉 Jack

The sharp pain of the loss of a loved one may fade into a constant ache but it never completely goes away. What slowly replaces it is the warmth of our fond memories of that person. The tears of the loss are replaced by the smiles of the memories. It is in those memories and the memories of others who knew them that the departed live on.

Our memories of loved ones help us build a wall to keep out the pain while creating a calming and pleasant garden containing the love that we had for them. Start building that wall by spending time remembering the good times that you had together, the great adventures that you shared or the moments of triumph that you experienced together. Rethink about those times over several days and the wall will build. You will have pleasant and fond memories of them instead of the pain of their loss. That is what you want to keep in your heart.

Many times, the key to creating or unlocking that garden is prayer. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to allow you to remember the good and to shove any bad memories to the other side of the wall. Prayer allows the loved that you had for that person to overcome the grief of their loss. Prayer reinforces the hope and belief that you will be together again for eternity.

If you do this for all of the loved ones that are no longer here, you will find that quiet times that once might have been filled with sadness or loneliness are now spent in a garden filled with fond memories of pleasant times. No one can steal that away from you. It’s your garden that you build out of your loving memories.  Go there to remember and heal.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t waste your time…

February 14, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally posted August 10, 2017.


“Life appears to me too short to be spent nursing animosities.” (Charlotte Bronte) In Alice in Wonderland, White Rabbit says: “So little time. So much to do.” I’m on the same page with him. So was Jim Croce. “There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do.” Even though you might not want to do it, Bronte suggests that getting rid of animosity is one thing that needs doing before life’s end. If you have a hatchet that needs burying, do it today. 😉 Jack


Animosity is just one of the timewasters that I can think of. Others include hate, prejudice, jealousy, and envy. Putting those things behind you allows you to focus your energy on positive things and relationships.


Letting animosities fester many times leads to wasting even more time plotting revenge and always takes you to a dark place where you really don’t want to be. Revenge, like the animosity that drives that need is best relegated to the rubbish bin. The old saw that “revenge is a dish best served cold” should be replaced with “revenge is a dish best not served at all.”
Perhaps it is the wisdom that comes with getting old that has helped me see this more clearly now. Time for an elderly person becomes the most precious thing that they have and they don’t want to waste it on unimportant things like animosities.


In the song “Let it be” written by John Lennon he appeals to the virgin Mary, but it can be generalized as an appeal to God. The reply from Mary (God) in the song for dealing with adversities is, “Let it be.” Jesus used the phrase “Be at peace”, which may be thought of as a way to let it be. That is good advice or dealing with animosities and other hatred that may be controlling your life.


The quickest way that I’ve fond to let it be and be at peace is to surrender to God’s will with the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done.” That little prayer takes whatever it may be that is consuming you off your plate and hands it to God. There is a palpable sense of relief that will come over you if you sincerely pray that prayer.


So, don’t waste your time holding grudges and animosities. Life is too short. Give those things to God. Let it be and be at peace.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Give yourself a break…

February 12, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/12/24 – Originally sent April 21, 2015.


“You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.” (Sent by NCD) Each year my insurance provider asks for a health assessment, including a part which asks me to rate my stress level. I’ve read that some stress is good for all of us. As with much of life–All things in moderation! But, when nerves get you down, take some deep breaths, write a thank you note, go for a walk, make a gratitude list, and don’t forget to pray. 😉  Jack   


 
Most of us stress ourselves by being to critical and unforgiving of ourselves. We are obviously the only ones who can really answer the question, “What was he/she thinking?” and sometimes we just don’t like the answer. In fact, many people deflect blame from themselves by seeking someone or something else to blame for the bad outcome of what was a bad decision. Give yourself a break.

Sometimes we exacerbate the stress by imposing artificial and unrealistic deadlines upon ourselves. Sometimes we commit to achieving success in a task for which we are ill prepared to tackle (if prepared at all). Sometimes we commit to a goal that can only be achieved by a team of people and watch in disgust or despair when teammates let us down by failing in their part of the task. Almost always we look back on a failure and ask ourselves what we could have done differently to change the outcome.  Give yourself a break.

I saw recently in a report that some companies are starting to evaluate the performance of their employees based upon their success with the process rather than the outcome. That is important because it acknowledges that most bigger jobs (tasks) are comprised of multiple steps (the process) that are defined by others and that success at the macro-level is out of the control of the individual performing the detailed steps.  This allows a team-sport athlete who “left it all on the field” to feel good about themselves even in the face of a team defeat. Give yourself a break.

I have posted here a few times about forgiving yourself and that is a big part of giving yourself a break. The road to despair is paved with “what if” and “I should have…” guilt trips. Don’t go there. You didn’t and that is that. Forgive yourself and move on. Give yourself a break.

I like this quote – “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” — Thomas S. Monson

We can’t just forget the past or change it, but we can use it as a teaching moment and hopefully learn from it. We also cannot change the future, but we can get ourselves better prepared for it by developing and practicing a better decision-making process. That process begins in the here and now. Give yourself a break.

Becoming more conscious of how you make decisions will hopefully enable you to improve that process. Sometimes that decision-making awareness will expose many of the bad assumptions or prejudices that drive your decisions and behavior. Make correcting those a priority but forgive yourself for having them and move on. Give yourself a break.

Jack’s last suggestion that you can relieve stress through prayer is an important one. Prayer allows you to forgive yourself and free you to move on. Prayer allows you to admit that you do not and cannot have the answers to every challenge. It allows you to lean on your faith and upon God for those answers. I use my little prayer, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” to Give myself a break. Try it, It might work for you, too. Give yourself a break.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Look for that pillow…

January 4, 2023

One of the many emails with inspirational quotes that I get each day contained this quote – “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” (Maya Angelou)

I love the vision that Angelou is able to paint in that quote, but I question the timeline of it. I think one would do better to start each ay kneeling on that pillow of gratitude. After all, God just gave you another day. Being thankful for that gift to start your day will put you in the best frame of mind to make the most of the day.

The visualization of kneeling in prayer, whether you physically do it or not, establishes the proper attitude of thankfulness, contrition, and hope for the day ahead or to look back on the day just passed. Being first thankful for another day kicks off a series of thoughts about all of the things for which you should be grateful. You may surprise yourself with how long that list is, when you stop to think about it.

So. Whether you are stopping to pray in the morning or at the end of the day, search first for that pillow of gratitude. Express that gratitude and let the warm feeling that come with it wash over you and you will feel less disappointment, anger or hurt if things do not (or did not) turn out as you had hoped.

You made it to or through another day, and, with God’s help, you will get another chance tomorrow. Be grateful for that. Look for that pillow.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Listen to your inner voice…and let it happen

December 16, 2022

I’m not sure where I saved this quote from, but it appealed to me this morning – “The inner life of a human being is a vast and varied realm.” (Edward Hooper)

There’s probably a quote somewhere about the advice that we often hear being given to noisy and loud children to “use your inside voice”. Our inside (inner) voices are those that we use and listen to in our “inner life”; the vast and varied realm that happens inside our heads. You sometimes hear someone ask, “Did I just say that out loud?” They forgot to use their inner voice for the thoughts that they were having in their inner life and said them out loud.

Another quote that I saved, from the Jack’s Winning Words blog also seems to fit here – “Sometimes my feelings creep out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.”  (Sent by Jackie Beach)

Those times are times when some portion of your inner world gets out in public. Emotions are very big in the inner world and most of the time we try very hard not to let them get out so that others can see. Stifling emotions like anger and rage are probably good things, but it is important to let out our emotions like love or regret or sadness. Stifling them in the name of stoicism can lead to a cold, lonely existence.

Sometimes the inner you and the “you” that the public sees are in sync, especially in times of great fear. When your inner voice is crying out in fear, to whom do you turn? During those times another post from the Jack’s Winning Words blog from December 13, 2022,  seems most appropriate –

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”  (Psalm 56:3)  Some people scream or gasp when they’re frightened.  Some cross themselves.  Others reach out to hug someone.  A child will grab the hand of a parent.  Joan Baez sang, “Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea.”  By that, she meant what the psalmist meant…“When I’m scared, I put my trust in the Lord.”  During life’s scary times, God’s hand is reaching out for yours.  Take it! 

Our inner life is the place from which we most often converse with God and the place where he most often answers us. We read in the Bible – The Lord knows all man’s thoughts (1 Chronicles 28:9). It just makes sense that God can also enter those thoughts to provide answers to our questions or encouragement and support in our times of fear or remorse.  We just need to listen for God’s quiet inner voice (some call it our conscience) and put our faith in what He tells us. Of course, it helps if we surrender to that advice by saying with our inner or outer voice, “Not my will but thy will be done.” For many the ritualistic act of praying provides the quiet break that they need in order to hear the inner voice of God.

So, take some time each day to pray and listen for and to your inner voice. Take God’s hand during that time and then let it happen.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Make the choice yourself…

November 29, 2022

I got this graphic in a daily inspirational email…

One of the first thoughts that came to mind as I look at this is how many people decide to be victims. I’m sure that you know some people like that. These are the people whom “the world is out to get.” Their misfortunes are never their fault. They are just the victims of circumstances or of conspiracies against them. They are people for whom the mantra “Poor Me” was invented.

But, as Emerson pointed out, it was never pre-ordained that become victims…they willed that upon themselves. We all have choices in life, and we all make those choices. For some the easiest choice is just to decide that success was not to be for them. They settle into the comfort of being the victim. For others the choice to quit, to give up and give in is a non-starter. They chose to endure the pain of setbacks or failures in a never-ending pursuit of their goals.

It is hard to imagine that one can become satisfied in seeing themselves as a loser – a victim. Emerson tells us that the decision is ours to make.  Winners in life have decided not to be victims. They have decided to be a winner, no matter what. They may finish 2nd or third in the race and still feel good if they’ve achieved a personal best or at least know in their hearts that they gave it their best shot – for this time.  They will be back to compete again and again in pursuit of the goal of winning. For them, it is as much about the journey as it is about the destination.

Life is not all about winning races or achieving goals. Oft times it is about how you play the game, how you live your life. At the end of each day, ask yourself if you are happy about how you lived that day, the decisions that you made and the trajectory that you are on. If you are not happy, then remember Emerson’s advice and decide to make changes that will get you back onto the path that you want for your life.

Make your life what you want it to be. It really is up to you. I often use this line in my prayers – “help me make good decisions today”. I find that combining that with the prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done”, puts me in the frame of mind to accept the responsibility for my life and puts me back in control of who I want to become. Try it, maybe you’ll find that it helps you, too.

Become the person that you want to be.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Who lost sight of who?

October 13, 2022

A September post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote-

“Thank you, Lord for seeing me.  It’s so easy to get lost these days in the shuffle and the noise.”    (George Beverly Shea song)

My immediate thought was, who really got lost? It wasn’t God who lost track of you; it was you who let the noises of the day distract you away from God. Thankfully God never loses track of us and is always there when we need Him.

This morning as I was scrolling through the daily news feed that shows up on my computer, I noticed a story about God being in our DNA, or at least the concept of God being inherent in humans. It went into a deep scientific explanation of the very universal human tendency to come to a conclusion that God exists. One has only to Google the question, “Does God exist” to see the vast library of articles and scientific papers that have been written on the topic.

Of course, the faster way to answer that question is to get down on your knees and ask God directly. Once you empty your mind of all other thoughts and block out the noise of the world, the whisper in the back of your mind that is God’s way of communicating with you becomes clear.

So, take some time each day to just stop the shuffle and block out the noise of the world and just talk to God. Let down your shields, turn off your ego, drop the pretense of being in charge of things and say the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done”. God sees you. God hears you. Listen and you will also hear Him.

Have a great day. You’re in good hands and it’s not Allstate.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What now?

September 7, 2022

Today’s quote is from author Ann Patchett’s self-inspired essay “What Now?” — the work in which these reaffirming words appear – Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong.

Many people spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about or planning things that are to come, as if they really have control over what is to happen. They don’t. At best, they have control over how they react to things that are yet to come. So, considering alternative course of action, based upon plausible scenarios is not a complete waste of time, maybe just not the best use of your time.

Some also waste time looking back on things that have just occurred and regretting decisions that have already been made and cannot be undone. Regret is a terrible waste of time. Better that one should spend time trying to learn from past mistakes, so they do not make them again.

Perhaps you can make the most of your time by starting each day with the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done”. That little prayer takes the burden of the events of the day off your shoulders by admitting to yourself that you are not in control of them and surrendering them to God’s will.

Next, take back ownership of the only thing that you do control by praying, “Lord, help me make good decisions today.” It is how you decide to react to the event of your day and the decisions that you make when things occur that will make the day a good thing or not.

If you start each day that way, you’ll be ready for “What Now”.  Try it.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Take the first step…

October 28, 2021

It is interesting that the graphic with the quote from J.P. Morgan seems to be showing a way out of a dark place. Many people find themselves in a dark place. It really doesn’t matter how they got there; what matters is how they can get out of that place and go on with life. The other interesting thing is that Morgan’s quote is that it places the responsibility for getting out of that place squarely on the shoulders of the person themselves – they have to decide that they don’t want to be there anymore. That may seem like a no-brainer decision; however, some people actually like being miserable, or so it seems.

So, if you have grown tired of being miserable or depressed and decided to get out of whatever dark place you have been in, how do you do that? For one, make sure that you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes that have kept you there for this long. There is a saying that equates that repetition with an expectation of a different outcome to insanity and you aren’t insane – just frustrated and perhaps out of options that you can think of to resolve your dilemma.

Here’s the first secret to finding your way out – it’s not your fault. In fact, it’s not your responsibility to solve whatever conundrum is confronting you. Your responsibility is to find the best way to live through that conundrum. Not being able to resolve or control all of the problems that life throws at you does not constitute failure. The failure that leads to those dark places is not being able to deal with that truth and move on.

Now, here’s the other secret to finding your way out – you are not alone. The feeling of being alone in that dark place and having no one to turn to is frightening. But you have never been alone, and you are not alone now. God has been with you all the time, standing right behind you and waiting for you to ask for his help. There is a line in the confessions of faith that we use every week in my church that says, “There is nowhere that you can go that God cannot find you.” No matter how far down you have fallen and how dark the pit seems to you, God will find you there if you but ask.

Asking God for his help does not have to involve long elaborate prayers. I’ve mentioned the line from many sports situations that goes, “A little help here.” That works when earnestly said to God. I also have posted here several times the little prayer that works for me, “Not my will but thy will be done.” That’s works, too. The real secret is asking and then embracing God’s help in your life. Use either one in an earnest appeal to God for help and see if the weight isn’t lifted from your shoulders.

You may ask, “Is it really that simple? I ask God for help and then my problems go away?” The answer is that it is really that simple and then you start dealing with your problems. They don’t go away you just move through them and past them and go on with life.

So, like the graphic above says, decide that you don’t want to be in that dark place anymore and take the first step – ask for God’s help. You will see the light and the way out.

A little help here.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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