Use your brain and control your mind…

February 12, 2016

“Do not call for black power or green power.  Call for brain power.”  (Barbara Jordan) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog. Jack went on to add his comments about Black History Month, which is what Barbara Jordan was alluding to in her quote.

It’s interesting that the brain helps us distinguish between colors, but it is the mind that assigns tags to those colors. Those tags may include fear or mistrust or prejudices, based solely upon color. For some that is enough for them to form opinions or to make visualizationjudgments. Yet, if we used our brains, we might ask ourselves, upon what basis of facts, other than color am I basing these feelings or opinions? Have I even talked to this person? Do I even know their name or anything about their life story? How can I have jumped to a conclusion of fear or mistrust, based solely upon the one input of color? Yet many do. Use your brain.

There is an old piece of advice that is widely circulated in signs and sayings that goes: “Engage brain before engaging mouth.” It might also apply that one should engage their brains before making up their minds, especially about other people. Color is just one differentiation between people; it just happens to be the easiest to spot. Use your brain.

Language and the way people speak is another differentiation that many use to jump to talking-2discriminatory opinions. We have had such an influx of immigration from so many foreign countries that it is almost impossible not to overhear others speaking in a language that we do not understand or with an accent that is noticeable. There is also the street slang (sometimes labeled Ebonics) that is used by a portion of the African-American population. Any of these cues can kick off an immediate reaction that is just as powerful as the recognition of the color of the individual. Those reactions are often not favorable and lead to conclusions that are just as wrong as those based solely upon color. Use your brain.

The best advice against letting these or any other differences that one might notice lead you immediately to some conclusion or reaction is to engage your brain. Think before you act or react. Learn to control your mind. The first thing that most will have to do is to calm the perception of that person somehow representing a threat to you. Unless someone walks up to you with some sort of weapon in their hand, why do you perceive them to be a threat? Is it their color? Is it the way they speak? Is it how they are dressed? Why are any of those things a threat to you? Use your brain.

The key to using your brain is to let it work without a preconceived overlay of prejudice or fear. We have turned the old saying “innocent until proven guilty” completely around andtimid perverted it through our prejudices into “guilty until they can prove themselves to be innocent.” If, instead of thinking (with our minds) that every person of color or language difference that you meet is somehow out to do you harm; it might make life more interesting and rewarding, if you went into each meeting with a new person in the frame of mind that you were going to get to know them and see what interesting things that you might learn from them. You can do that if you, Use your brain.

I suspect that the people that you jump to conclusion about get awfully tired of having to exclusionprove themselves to you somehow. They may have also jumped to conclusions about you, based upon what they see or hear from you. They may have fears about you and what you may do to them, especially if you happen to be wearing a police uniform. You might immediately say how could they think that about you? Well, duh; use your brain; what’s on the news all too often these days. “If they only got to know me”, you might think; “they wouldn’t be afraid of me.” OK, so why is the opposite not true? Use your brain.

As you go about your day and the upcoming weekend, try to be more cognizant of the boredfrequency in which you let some preconceived prejudice in your mind take control of you and shape your reactions to people. The more you become aware of it the easier it might become to at least stop and try to Use your brain.

You’ll be glad that you did.


Do your part make the world a better place…

February 10, 2016

“You must make the world better by making yourself better.”  (Father Basil), as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

There are all sorts of inspirational messages that tout the positive impact of one small effort, especially if enough people make the one small effort. Web sites like Go Fund Me and Crowd Rise also make the point that enough people giving just a small amount can make a huge difference.

monkSo, today’s saying by Father Basil, one of two Detroit guys who started a monastery in a remote spot in Michigan’s U.P. that was recently featured in a Detroit Free Press feature article, may provide us all with a small starting point to making a better world for everyone. If each of us resolved to become a better person – kinder, gentler and more caring for others – perhaps a tsunami of goodness would sweep across the world and it woud become a better place for us all.

When you think about it, our own actions are the only thing that we are really in control of anyway. We may throw money into a collection plate or mail in a donation to a worthy cause, but we don’t really have any idea how that money is used or for what good it went. If we stop and help someone who needs help because we care, we have an immediate sense of well-being from having made the effort. That effort starts with making the effort to become a better person ourselves.

In Father Basil’s world the monks become better people through a life of simplicity and hand reaching for heavenprayer. Not all of us can just get up and go live in a monastery in the U.P.; however, all of us can take some time to pray each day.  Perhaps if we focused out prayer not on things or needs and upon asking for God to make us better people our worlds would become better places. Maybe if instead of asking for God to give you this or that, you could ask him to help you make better decisions in your life and do the right things. I’ve occasionally prayed when I bought a lotto ticket not that God let me win, but that if I should win that God help me do the right things with the money. So far, I guess I haven’t change enough to be given that responsibility.

So, today, before you start out on another day at work or just in your life; ask God for His help at becoming a better person and then trust in Him when he provides you with the helperopportunities to actually be a better person as your day goes on. Don’t hesitate in front of the man on the sidewalk who is obviously down on his luck; stop and ask how you can help. And, if you reach in your pocket and give him the money that you had set aside for your latte or perhaps your lunch; keep in mind that you may be providing him with the means to buy the only meal that he may get today. You were a better person and the world is better for it.

Do your part today to make the world a better place by being a better you.

 


Don’t say it if you won’t be it…

February 8, 2016

“Saying sorry and being sorry are not the same sorry.”  (Unknown) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

sorry1In some marriages the phrase “I’m sorry” is used more often than the phrase “I love you.” Those marriages don’t usually last long. Saying “I’m sorry” is easy. In fact Brenda Lee had a hit song titled, “I’m sorry”. Saying “I’m sorry” over and over for the same actions may not be the description for insanity but perhaps for insensitivity or an indication that you are uncaring about the feelings of others. The hard part is being sorry; because that requires that you think about and accept responsibility for your actions or hurtful comments. It also means learning something from the mistake that you made and hopefully doing something to insure that it doesn’t happen again.

The phrase “I’m sorry” is used to cover such a wide spectrum of transgressions that it has become diluted and less meaningful than the situation may call for. Saying “Oops, I’m sorry” when you’ve just knocked over a glass of water or pop and doused a friend or date is not the same as the “I’m so sorry for your loss” to a grieving widow at a funeral or saying “I’m sorry” to your spouse when you have just been caught cheating on them. The sorry that you’ll need to be in all three cases is different, too; ranging from embarrassed to feeling empathy with the sense of loss to remorseful and regretful. “Sorry” has become sorry 2a throw-away that we toss in to situations without making the personal investment of actually being sorry.

Maybe if we said instead, “I’m an idiot” or “I’m an uncaring ass” or “I didn’t care about how you would feel” or maybe “I didn’t think before I said that” or any number of more descriptive phrases that might be appropriate to the occasion we would be more honest with the other person and with ourselves. I don’t think you’d do that more than few times before you changed the behavior that is causing you to have to say I’m sorry in the first place. The movie Love Story contained a scene with the famous line, “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Unfortunately that line has become perverted into a means of not really apologizing for the wrongs that too many married people have committed. I would submit that love is really being sorry, if you have to say it.

So the next time you catch yourself tossing the phrase “I’m sorry” off to someone; stop and ask yourself if you are really sorry and how you are going to act sorry about it. Are you going to do something for or with that person to make it right? Are you going to change how you act or what you say in the future? How are you going to be sorry?

sorry 3Maybe of you start of each day and pause to think about not doing things that you’ll have to say “I’m sorry” about you’ll have a better day and you’ll spend a whole lot less time saying and being sorry. But, then; maybe you don’t buy any of this and will just go on being the way you’ve always been – you’ll probably end up sorry about that.

Get out there this week and try harder to not do the things that you might have to say that you are sorry about; however, if you do have to say it, at least own it and mean it.


How many lives have you lived?

February 6, 2016

“We all have two lives.  The second one begins when we realize that we only have one.”  (Unknown) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

Of course Jack was referring to the life that we live, once we become cognizant of the inevitable and consider intelligently the alternatives.

I recall (and this goes back a long way, so don’t worry if you don’t remember this) a TV show called “I Led Three Lives”, which was on TV from October 1, 1953 to January 1, 1956. It was loosely based on the life of Herbert Philbrick, a Boston advertising executive who infiltrated the U.S. Communist Party on behalf of the FBI in the 1940s and wrote a bestselling book on the topic, I Led Three Lives: Citizen, ‘Communist’, Counterspy (1952). The part of Philbrick was played by Richard Carlson. The whole Communist and counterspy thing was a cold-war favorite back then.

I would submit that we all live multiple lives, which has not only to do with our spirituality, but also with the secrets that we chose to keep from the rest of the world. secrtetsThose secrets take on a life of their own. The life of Herbert Philbrick sometimes became very complicated as he worked to make sure that the secret life that he was leading for the FBI didn’t somehow spill over or disturb the other lives he led and a family man and a businessman. Our lives can get like that as we try to juggle the “facts” of the various lives that we might be leading. It is trying to keep track of the facts verse the lies that becomes complex when you lead multiple lives. It is an oft-used phrase that, “my life is an open book”; however, it is often a book with a few chapters that the speaker chooses to leave out.

If we get back to the original premise of the quote in Jack’s post; the quote seems to be saying that we begin living a different or second life once we begin to deal with our own mortality. It’s not like you wake up one morning and think, “Oh crap, I’m going to die someday.” When we are younger we certainly hear about the life expectancy of normal humans, but it seems more like and abstraction than a reality. As we age, there comes adeath point at which we start thinking about the “end game” in our own lives. For most people it is something that is there, in the back of your mind for years, which slowly works its way forward until it demands some thought time and attention.

So, now that it’s up at the front of the line; how do we deal with it? How does our second life differ from our first? For many this is the time when faith and religion also turn from an abstraction and a perfunctory duty into something that we take seriously. Some also begin to obsess about their legacy – how they will be remembered by those still here, once they are gone? For almost all there is a feeling of fear. Death is the greatest unknown of all. Is there something after death? Will I still be me? Will I see those who have gone before me again? Is there a Heaven and a Hell? Where can I turn to get answers?

Most major religions of the world have some description of an afterlife within their beliefs. Not surprisingly, given man’s ego, most of those descriptions revolve around us somehow being the same, conscious being we are now but in some different form. Some religions have created elaborate descriptions of the afterlife, most of it revolving around the deceased getting or having everything that he/she ever wanted. Some have posited a state of everlasting peace and contentment. Some describe it as being like a waiting room until you return to earth as someone or something else.

If you embrace Christianity in any of its many forms, then you also embrace the concept of everlasting life and the belief that you will end up in a place called Heaven for eternity. There are only snippets of descriptions of Heaven in the Bible which allude to a house of many rooms and a place flowing with milk and honey. Even the writers of the Bible could not avoid using earthly references when trying to describe what is indescribable.

It really doesn’t matter how you describe the place that you think you will go after death; what matters is that you hold a belief that there is something for you after death. And if Jesusyou are a Christian, you understand that the only way to enter the place that is there for you is through your belief in Jesus Christ. For all who truly embrace Jesus there is a lifting of the fear of death, for it was His promise that, through his death on the cross, He had forever banished death from those who believed in Him.

The second life that you will live, once you have come to that belief will be much different than your life up to that point. For most there is a sense of calm and relief whenhelper they embrace the saving grace of Jesus. For some there is a new sense of purpose and a desire to share the good news. For a few there is a sense of mission that leads to a new way of life. For all of those people the starting point to that new life is the removal of the fear of death.

How many lives have you lived?


What could you be if you only let yourself try?

February 4, 2016

From the Jack’s Winning Words blog comes this little saying – “If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now.”  (Shifu to Po in the movie, Panda 3)  The dialog continues…Po: “I like who I am.”  Shifu: “You don’t even know who you are.”

Do you know who you are or what you could be, if you only tried something new; something that you didn’t know that you could do?

We all tend to find our own “comfort zone”; that place where we love to go and stay because it is non-threatening and, well, comfortable. Some may tend to cocoon in theirprisoner comfort zone, building walls to keep others out. The trouble is that those same walls keep you held in; you become trapped in who you are and never get to explore who you could be, if only you tried some new things. Your comfort zone becomes your personal prison.

Maybe, like Po in the movie, you think that you are happy with who you are in your safe and secure little cocoon; however, it is more likely that Shifu’s admonishment is more true – “you don’t even know who you are” or who you could be. That advice is particularly true in human relationships. You will never know how your life might change and become perhaps more rewarding unless you make the choice to interact crayonswith a great variety of people. Choosing to live life with few, if any, close friends is like sitting down with a coloring book and having only one or two crayons. It can get pretty dull pretty quick and you can lose interest. Making friends and understanding their different points of view fills you crayon box with many colors and makes the pictures that you do much more interesting.

Trying different things in life both increases your knowledge and makes you a more interesting person for others to know. Can you imagine attracting “likes” on your Facebook page if all you posted every day was, “Got up ate breakfast, went to work, ate lunch, came home, ate dinner and when to bed”? Sometimes life may begin to feel like that; but that can be changed by just trying something new each day. The easiest way to saying hellodo that is to try to meet someone new each day. Each new person that you meet adds a new crayon to your box and allows you to add a new shade or color to your life story.

It’s much easier than you may think to meet someone new each day. You can start by not ignoring those that we already see or pass by each day – the person on the elevator that always seems to be there when we are in the morning, or the person that is out walking their dog at the same time that you do or the woman down the hall from you at work whom you see in the break room all the time. Don’t ignore those people, stop and say, “Hi, I see you all the time, I’m …” You may be pleasantly surprised that they were also wondering about you, too.

As for trying new things; that can be a simple as trying a new way home. We all get in ruts, comfort zones, about things like our routes to and from work or our routines before decisionsor after work. Try something new, a different route to or from work or maybe a stop on the way to or from work that we don’t normally make. Maybe you can try something completely different on a weekend; go someplace that you’ve never been or try a new activity that you’ve never tried. You don’t have to go out and try sky diving, but maybe something as simple as going to a sports event that you’ve never been to or actually participating in a sport that you’ve never tried.

It’s amazing what getting a few new things like that under your belt can do for you. Once you get past the realization of “that didn’t kill me” and maybe all the way to “I really enjoyed that”; you will find yourself looking for the next adventure out of your little comfort zone. In fact you may find that your little cocoon just got a little bit bigger and the pictures of your life a lot more colorful for having tried something new. You have butterfly 3become more than you were then because you did something that you didn’t know that you could do. And, unless this all happens on a desert island, you will also find that you now know more people than you’ve ever known, because you put yourself out there where they were, too.

Life can be beautiful and colorful if you fill your crayon box with the colors of the others that you meet. Get out there and be more than you are now.


Where is your happy place? Do you remember how to get there?

January 20, 2016

From the Jack’s Winning Words blog comes this little piece of advice – “You gotta go to that happy place in your mind and remember–everything’s gonna be all right.”  (Daniel Schetter)  Daniel is that man who continues to surf the waves of Lake Superior all winter long, even with ice on his whiskers.  He believes that cold is all in the mind; so, when he’s surfing the Great Lakes in freezing weather he heads to his happy place and isn’t cold anymore (at least in his mind). He did admit to suffering bouts of hypothermia, but he was still happy.

I read that story in the paper recently, too. I had a tough time imagining being able to get to a place that was happy and warm while surfing in the Great Lakes in winter with ice on my face; but the advice applies well to everyday life. We all face adversities or situations single momthat are not of our own making. How we react to them and our ability to go to our happy place in times of stress or pain determines how well we make it through those times.

The basis for many of the meditative-based religions or beliefs of the world is the concept of being able to get to that happy place and control our bodies and our reactions to things through our minds. It is also a tenet of hypnosis that we have the ability to block out pain with our minds. I’ve been hypnotized at a dentist’s office once and it did work to block the pain of his work on my teeth. I certainly believe that practices like yoga and meditation work to relieve tension and stress.

listening toi musicA key thing that both yoga and meditation focus upon is helping you find a way back to your happy place, so that you can let go of the stress and let your body’s natural ability to heal itself make you well again. Of course there are lots of other things involved, but being able to get to that happy place is central to both. It is also a key to a happy and healthy life, whether you practice those disciplines or not.

So where is your happy place and do you remember how to get there? As children it was easy to get to that place, usually through play. As we matured and “learned” to be adults, we wandered away (or were pulled away) from that place and found it harder and harder to get back to it. We were taught not to waste our time in idle thoughts of happiness, but to “keep our noses to the grindstone”,” be serious” and “get it done”. There was no time allotted for seeking to return to your happy place. Some turn to alcohol or drugs in the false belief that getting a buzz on or getting high is equivalent to getting to their happy place. Both are false and actually add to the stress that they were trying to find relief for in the first place.

How do find you way back to your happy place? You might try yoga or mediation classes ormeditation even seek out a good hypnotherapist. Talk with the instructor/therapist and let them know that you are there to try to recapture the ability to put aside the day’s stresses and get to that place that gives you peace. They will understand. Then, focus upon the process that they take you through to relax and let go and begin your search for that happy place that is still there, somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind. You knew it as a child and you can find it again. When you do find it; you will know that “everything’s gonna be alright”.

For some people, their happy place is a spiritual place, a place that they reach through prayer. They can start each day with a prayer and that means that they start in their happy place, before the day even gets underway. The nice thing for them is that they can pray anywhere and anytime, without even being noticed. It’s all done in their minds, as is the journey to their happy place. For some of these people it is possible to live all day long in their happy place. You know that you have met people like that, because you cannot figure smiling womanout why they always seem so calm and happy. They are at peace with God and themselves and that is a happy place to be, indeed.

An interesting by-product of making the effort to get to your happy place in times of stress is that it tends to stop whatever was going on in you r mind, because you are focusing on trying to find that place of peace. Just making the effort is a big help in coping with the day-to-day stresses of life. Sometimes we don’t have time to make the full journey back and sometimes we may not be in situations or settings where going through our whole routine (perhaps with eyes closed or in a yoga position of some sort) is possible. In those times, just the mental pause that starts the process may be enough to relieve the pressure.

You can make a mental note to go all the way there when you get home, but for the moment, just realize that you have loosened the grip of stress or panic and can go on with what you need to do in a more relaxed and confident manner. You know that your happy happinessplace is out there waiting for you and you know that you can get back to it when you want to – and that’s a good thing …a happy thing.

So, take a moment before you start each day and try to get back to your happy place, so that you carry a fresh memory of it in your mind throughout the day. Then, when stress or turmoil hits it won’t be that guard to see your way back to it for a quick refreshing dose of happiness.

Have a great and happy rest of the week.


No single way is always the right way…

January 11, 2016

“6+3=9, but so does 5+4.  The way you do things is not always the only way.  Respect other people’s way of thinking.”  (Facebook Posting) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog today.

Also in the news in today’s Oakland Press was a story about Oakland County Executive L. Brooks Patterson stating that he is in favor of theexclusion constitutional amendment to the Michigan Constitution that would protect the GLBT community from discrimination. Patterson is a well-known Republican conservative, but has also recognized the ugliness and hate that comes with discrimination. He is basically saying – respect other people’s way of living.

My wife often has to admonish me when I say something or do something that corrects or questions her way of thinking or doing things. She has her own way of doing things and it is often not the way that I would do it; so, that makes it “not the right way” in my mind (at least until I’m reminded to think more about it.) In addition to asking me to mind my own business, she is gently (sometimes not so much) telling me to – respect other people’s way of living.

I am reminded of the many stories in the Bible of the pharisees and priests who were aghast at the things that Jesus did, both in the temples and in Jesus in templegeneral. Our modern day pharisees are the moralizing, so-called Christian evangelicals who seem to spend more time criticizing the lives of others than putting their own lives in order. Like the high priests and pharisees of old, these modern day pharisees are sure that they occupy the moral high-ground and that their way is the only right way to live. And like those hypocrites of old, they try to take actions to correct or discriminate against those who choose to live differently. In modern times this holier-than-thou group uses political power to try to legitimize their discrimination through laws (or lack of laws) aimed at those who are “different.” They wrap themselves in a false morality that does not – respect other people’s way of living.

This same group of modern day pharisees is at the core of the current movement to also discriminate against those who practice religions different from theirs: since, obviously, their religion is the only correct one. They completely miss the irony that this country was founded by opinionatedpeople who were immigrants escaping religious persecution due to the fact they the religion that they practiced at the time was different from the prevailing religion in England and Europe. It is convenient also to forget about the threat that their immigration to America posed to the Native Americans who were already here. They essentially took the country from those who owned it at the time. Imagine if the Native Americans had enacted a law stopping the flow of these refugees from religious persecution from entering America because they posed a threat. Maybe that would have solved everything. The early settlers obviously did not – respect other people’s way of living.

I suspect that if we all focused upon doing a better job of being ourselves, instead of focusing upon the lives of others, we would all be in a better
place. Instead of spending time working about what negative impact people who choose to live in GLBT lives will have on us or being concerned about people who practice a religion that is different from ours; perhaps we should spend more time living our lives such that they will have a positive impact on those that we meet. Maybe if we are all kinder, more compassionate, more caring and more helpful to others; they will act the same to diversityus in return, no matter what lifestyle they choose to live. In the end, wouldn’t that make the whole world a better place in which to live? It would, because it would be a place in which we all would – respect other people’s way of living

The reality is that the only person that we really have control over is ourselves and many of us haven’t been doing that great of a job with thatbridgiing gaps responsibility, much less worrying about how others live. We need to focus less on others and more on doing the right things ourselves to make sure that we aren’t becoming modern day pharisees and discriminating against those with lives that are different from ours. So, as we begin a new week maybe, before we leave the house today we can resolve to – respect other people’s way of living.


What are the little things in your life?

January 8, 2016

“Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realize they were the big things.”  (Kurt Vonnegut) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Word blog.

We all revel in the big moments in life at the time they occur – our babywedding day, the birth of our children, maybe a big job promotion or the day we closed on our first house; but it is often the little, private moments that result in the most enjoyable and lasting memories. I may be a tender moment between husband and wife or maybe a quiet time of love shared with a child. It is perhaps that final little squeeze of the hand with a loved one right before they pass away or the hug that says I need you and I trust you from an injured loved one.

The big moments in life are often filled with so much hoopla that they often just become something that you remember going along with rather than something that you really had the opportunity to enjoy. If you are fortunate you may have recorded some of the little moments in pictures, so that you can look back on them with that prop to help heighten the experience; but for the most part these are incidents or times in your life that were very private and in which taking pictures was the last thing on your mind. Fortunately that same mind is where they now reside and can be recalled.

What makes these seemingly unremarkable moments in your life so important? It is probably the fact that they occurred in unscripted, caregiver hands
unguarded and totally open and honest moments of your life where your soul touched another soul and shared an experience or a moment. Think back on the moments in your life in which you experienced those “Ah, ha!” moments of love or understanding and sharing with a loved one or a good friend. Those are the memories that you will take with you to the end, because they were really the big things.

The sad thing about Vonnegut’s quote is the truth that it is only later in life that most really understand this, many times after it is too late to go back and relive it with the other person involved. We remember these moments after our parent are gone. We relive them after our friends have passed away. Our children are grown and gone and out on their own before we realize the significance of the important moments that we had with them. It is unfortunate that we have to look back and finally realize that they were the most significant moments of our lives.

father-daughter danceMaybe that does not have to be. Perhaps, if we take the time to think about the little things in our lives that happen every day, we can revel in the moment. We can go to the ball game or the dance, instead of working those extra hours. We can pause to say, “I love you” every night, instead of taking our partners for granted. We can heighten our awareness of the little things (to us) that mean so much to others and make the effort to participate in and celebrate those moments.

Why is this important? Because, you don’t want to end up, as Vonnegut’s quote would have it; “looking back” and realizing how much of life that you missed, because you didn’t recognize the little things in life that were really important. Life is too short to miss all of the little things. Take the time take them in and realize that they are really the big things in life. They are the things that connected you to another human being in a moment of shared joy – and that’s a great thing.

In your final eulogy; far more important that any recital of all of your

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“Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

business achievements   will be the personal remarks from family and loved ones – “I’ll miss my spouse/parent/grandparent/good friend and the things that we used to do together.”  Those were the little things that were important in the life that you lived. So, enjoy the little things in your life, because you don’t have to wait to look back some day to see that they were important.

Have a great weekend and enjoy those loved one that are around you


I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in…

January 7, 2016

In 1955 Smiley Lewis recorded the Song I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in. It was an early, slow rock and roll song that was covered by Fats Domino, who had more success with it than Smiley did. Fats Domino went on to fame and fortune, while Smiley’s career languished and he died in poverty.

I thought of this song recently while thinking about how often I hear God access deniedknocking and trying to help me, but I won’t let Him in. The free will (it might also be called ego) that God gave mankind can also act as a door to keep Him out when we most need him. We toil through life trying to solve things ourselves, letting our egos get in the way; rather than letting Him take our burdens and help.

Do you hear God knocking on your door? Do you let Him in? If not, why not? Is it because your ego won’t let you admit that you need help?

Men in particular seem to be less inclined to ask God for help with troubles in their lives. I’m not sure why we are “trained” to “keep a stiff upper lip” or when we are indoctrinated in a culture of stoic resolve to solfootball player1ve all problems without help. I remember the “big boys don’t cry” admonishments as a child and the “shake it off” advice for almost any hurt while growing up and the “suck it up” guidance for dealing with pain or disappointments. I suspect that athletics in general contribute greatly to that self-image of being able to live with pain.

Women seem to be so much better at sharing their problems and needs with other women and I suspect in turning to God for help in troubled times. I wonder if there is a difference in women athletes in that regard, since athletics is one area where the whole “macho” image thing is an important factor. The whole concussion problem that we now take veryfemale soccer player seriously grew out of the macho “shake it off” creed of athletics. So, I wonder if female athletes, especially those engaged in contact sports (which include soccer) develop a more insular approach to life and religion because of the stoicism required for those sports. Do they hear God knockin’ but they won’t let Him in? I suspect that it is not the case, as it is with men.

I’m just not sure when the “Jesus loves me” messages of Sunday School were replaced by the “Don’t share with others and don’t ask God” stoicism of adult life. Fortunately, I found my way back to that trust in God that we all started with as children, before adult cynicism settled in. I am neither reluctant nor ashamed to ask for God’s help when I need it, which is more often than my ego used to let me admit.

So what are we to do when we hear Him knockin’? Just ignore the quiet little voice saying, “Let me help you” and go about life in pain or desperation? I think rather than say,”I hear you knockin’, but you can’t come in”, perhaps we should take the approach of another song, this one a contemporary Christian song by Chris Tomlin and say, “Lord I need you.”

How will you respond when He knocks on your door today?


Don’t overthink things; just be in the moment and Believe…

December 23, 2015

“We think too much and feel too little.  More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.”  (Charlie Chaplin)

It’s the season to suspend too much thinking about things and replace it with believing in things. We see lots of cards with “Believe” on them, usually associating that with a child’s belief in Santa Claus; but, it’s reallystar of bethlehem a time to look at what happened in a manger over 2000 years ago and Believe.

It is said that a good movie gets you to suspend disbelief and accept what is being shown as true, as real, as something that you can believe is actually happening. I submit that true faith asks the same of us; that we suspend our disbelief and questioning and accept the message of the Good News as true and real and something that we believe. Voltaire said it well – “Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” It is in that acceptance of God’s message of the birth of Jesus for the forgiveness of the sins of mankind that the true magic of Christmas occurs. Believe.

More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness, caring and love, helpercompassion and sharing, and all of the other attributes which flow out of a heart filled with the love of Jesus. A mind focused upon the work of God has no time for cleverness or deceit or hatred or anger or prejudice. A soul committed to faith has no time for deceitfulness, spitefulness or hatefulness. A body engaged in good works in God’s name can do amazing things, endure unbelievable pain and overcome overwhelming odds; if we Believe.

Over the next few days, suspend your disbelief and get into the moment. If it’s OK to cry at the end of the movie “Miracle on 34th Street”; it’s also OK to tear up when you think of the Miracle in the Manger. Those are both tears of joy and they make us feel good about the world around us and ourselves, if only for the moment. The little girl in the movie got the
house that she dreamed of because she believed, not so much in Santa Claus per se, but in miracles. In the long run, what’s most important is to Believe.

If you can get to that moment during the Holiday season, then the real miracle of Christmas will occur in your life. Gloria Coleman put it this way – “God is continuously pouring his goodness and loving kindness on you and all He wants from you – Is believe and receive.” Go for it and Believe.

So, think less and feel more. Put aside your cleverness and show your believekinder and gentler side.  In the moments ahead, when you may be standing in church somewhere singing Silent Night, amidst the glow of the flickering candles of all who have come to worship; don’t analyze, don’t question and don’t overthink things – just Believe.

Have a great Christmas!