Did anybody die?

August 8, 2018

Admittedly, I’m one of those people who worry and agonize over things that I’m doing or planning to do. That’s especially true if the task that I’m worrying about is something that I signed up to do for others or for an organization. How many of you can identify with that?worried1

Sometimes it involves things like organizing an event on behalf of an organization or maybe it’s a personal commitment to someone, like taking them somewhere or watching their houseplant while they are away. Whatever it is; if you are like me, you may have a tendency to overthink it, over analyze it and over become overly critical of yourself, if things go awry.  You may also become overly critical of your performance of the task after the fact.

Earlier this year, I was one of the two people who organized and presented the annual marching troopsFourth of July parade in our little Village. There are lots of tasks and decisions needed to organize and pull off a parade and lots of places where one can look back and think that they might have done a better job. After what was by all measures a successful parade, I was following my natural tendency to be critical of myself for what we accomplished and what we could have done differently. My cohort in the effort listened to my laments for a while; but, finally, he just looked at me and asked, “Did anybody die?”

As I stopped to think about answering that question, it finally became clear to me that I was agonizing over things, most of which couldn’t be changed and which weren’t life boredthreatening or even all that important in the grand scheme of things. Just taking the time to think about that question changed how I looked at the situation and that has served to keep things in my life in better perspective. I’m reminded of a little quote in a recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog –

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  (Wayne Dyer)

So, if you. too, let the day-to-day things in life that you face become worries or concerns, maybe asking yourself, “Did anybody die or will anybody die?” because of this decision or your acgreat-jobtion. You may quickly find that the decisions that you’ve been agonizing over, while important to you and others at the time, are not life threatening. Your life and theirs will go on. Given that revelation, you can then focus on doing the best that you can in the situation. Instead of beating yourself up over not doing something or not making a different decision, be happy that you did your best.

No one died! Get on with your life.


Waste not…Act now…

August 4, 2018

From a recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog comes this ancient gem – “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”  (Aesop)

Sometimes acts of kindness involve money, but most of the time they just involve doing being kind 1something for someone else that needs to be done. Opening a door or smiling and saying hello are example s of very small acts of kindness. Those aren’t just empty gestures and they are usually acknowledged by the recipient. There is no expectation of reward or even reciprocation, but even those small acts can make one feel better about themselves and about their fellow man. They are overt acts that say, “I see and acknowledge you. I see your need and I am happy to help.”

There are other instances in the animal world where individuals help each other, whether it be monkeys and apes grooming each other or herd animals coming to the aid of a member that may be under attack. Those examples could be classified as acts of survival or of shared need by those animals. Humans, however, are the only animals that demonstrate conscious acts of kindness towards each other that are extended not our of need or to survive, but as an expression of concern and love for fellow humans.

jesus-as-lightSo, take the opportunities that you are given each day to extend an act of kindness towards someone else. Your gesture of kindness are not wasted, even if they go unacknowledged at the time. Showing kindness to total strangers is a big part of what bonds us together as humans. Remember the words of Jesus as he taught his Disciples in Matthew 25:40 – “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”

Waste not…Act now…be kind to one another.


If only I hadn’t…

July 27, 2018

Those are some sad words to begin your thoughts about something or someone. Somesorry 3 advice from today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog are well worth considering –

“Before you speak, listen.  Before you write, think.  Before you invest, investigate.  Before you criticize, wait.”  (Unknown)

judge thingsI might add, “Before you judge…” I’ll let you fill in the words that should follow that opening phrase. There’s the old Biblical saw from Matthew 7 – “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” It is the rush to judgement that provides the foundation of prejudices and fears.

In today’s social media world, one could add, “Before you post, pause” or maybe “Before facebook share buttonyou Tweet, reconsider.” The same is true of sending emails or text messages or posting to Instagram. Everything is retained somewhere these days and lots and lots of trials and media stories revolve around the content of those electronic posts that people seem to send off without regard to their future use or misuse.

So, it is good advice to take the time to think about what one is saying or writing or boredposting before opening one opens one’s mouth or before hitting the send/post button. In interpersonal settings, the advice should probably be to listen more than you talk and to carefully choose your words, if you feel the need to express an opinion or to react to something that someone else has said. I recall the quote –

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” Unknown

You might not be thought to be a fool, perhaps shy, quiet or somewhat withdrawn; but, jerkany of those is better than becoming well known as a prejudiced bigot. It is better to be considered to be somewhat of an enigma than to be well known as a jerk or an idiot.

I was going to write more about the topic of applying this advice to discussions about politics; but then I took the advice from above, stopped and thought. Enough said and written.

If you are reading this, I decided to hit the post button. If only I hadn’t…


Got to get to work…

July 25, 2018

OK, so I didn’t win the big ½ billion lotto drawing last night. I guess the quote that I saw in a recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog applies to this situation as well as to life in general.

“The six W’s: Work Will Win When Wishing Won’t.”  (Todd Blackledge)

Many people seem to spend their lives wishing for things, instead of working for things. They may wish that their life had turned out differently or perhaps that they had been born into different circumstances. It is easy to allow wishing to degrade into wallowing in self pity.  Wishing and blaming also seem to go hand-in-hand for those type of people.accountability They wish things were better and blame the fact that they aren’t on things that they feel like they can’t control. Yet others who had the same starting point in life take the path of hard work and a dedication to bettering themselves and their situation. They work at a job and go to school. They work at a job and raise a family. They work. And, it works for them.

There is a big difference between just wishing and pursing a dream. Having a dream of aman daydreaming better future provides the foundation for the desire to achieve that dream. As Napoleon Hill once said –

“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.”

What separates the achievers from the dreamers is the will and determination to achieve that dream.

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re to go to bed with satisfaction.”  (George Lorimer)

In between those two quotes is a good place to put today’s thought – “Work will win when wishing won’t.”goal

Well, I’ve got to go now. Got to get to work. I’m still working towards my dream. How about you?


What are you a bridge to?

July 23, 2018

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Jack Freed uses this quote from Michael Jordan – “I want to be a bridge to the next generation.” 

Jack went on the write about the characteristics of the generations that are alive today and had a link to this explanation of the various tags that we associate with those generations – http://fourhooks.com/marketing/the-generation-guide-millennials-gen-x-y-z-and-baby-boomers-art5910718593/

The post made me think about the fact that we all act in the role of bridges to the future for someone, just because of how we interact with them and what they take away fromfamily grroup that experience. The obvious bridge role is with our own children who watch us as they are growing up for cues and clues as to how to act and how to react to things as they happen. Others whom we might not even be aware of also look at our actions for some guidance – for either what to do or what not to do. So, for them, we are a bridge to their own future.

That realization begs the question of self-examination – “What type of bridge am I?” Am I showing the world a bridge that is open, accepting and friendly or one that appears to be arrogantclosed-minded, prejudiced and angry? Do I appear to be a person that others would like to get to know or someone to avoid? Do I take the time to listen and understand the other person or do I jump to a conclusion based upon some preconceived notions or prejudices? Am I willing to consider a different point of view or am I hunkered down in a fixed position and unwilling to even consider something different? Am I displaying the behavior and attitude that Jesus would have displayed in this situation?

The first few questions above are ones that too many people are unable to objectively answer, because they are so consumed by and fixed upon their positions of fear and hate. It’s that last question that shines the spotlight squarely into the hole that they have dug for themselves and exposes the Devil that is driving their behavior. Jesus neverjesus-as-lighttaught hate, prejudice, or exclusion. He always taught love, acceptance, and forgiveness. The bridge that Jesus represents has its foundation in His commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself”.  He didn’t stutter. He didn’t go on to say, “unless they are…” He didn’t make exceptions based upon fear or hate. His is the bridge that we should all emulate as we demonstrate to others through our lives a bridge to the next generation.

Think about what you are a bridge to and what your actions and reactions show others about you and what direction they point to for the future. Join with Jesus in showing the bridgiing gapsworld and the generations that follow you a bridge to understanding, acceptance and love for your fellow man.

Cross that bridge…build that bridge…be that bridge.


It’s OK to be You…

July 21, 2018

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Jack used a quote sent to him by one of his readers – “It’s OK to live a life others do not understand.”  (Sent by MarO)

girl with nose chainSearching for one’s identity or getting comfortable with it, once it becomes apparent, is a rite of passage for all kids growing up. Some never seem to end that search or perhaps just carry it a bit further into adulthood. You may have met someone in their 20’s or even older who tells you that they are still trying to find themselves. At the opposite end of that spectrum are the precocious kids who have made up their minds at an early age about who and what they are and have set about to pursue their dreams and fulfill their destinies. No matter where you are on that journey of self-discovery –  It’s OK to be you.

Still others know who they are, but they are not happy with what they see. They may see themselves as “misfits”. They feel like they do not fit in with society in general or that they are somehow singled out because of the difference that they perceive about themselves. Maybe it is their physical appearance or perhaps they just feel awkwarddepression4 around others. Whatever the reason for their discomfort, many of these people (mostly young people) try to disguise or hide their true self by emulating others and by joining groups of other misfits into which they can blend and disappear. They may alter their appearance or dress in a specific manner to try to fit in with the group that they have chosen. Eventually most see that It’s OK to be you.

What most finally come to grips with, as MarO put it, is that, “It’s OK to live a life others do not understand.” It is in fact those differences than make you an interesting person to know. It is your different perspective on life that give your life its value to others. Eventually it is those differences that will give you satisfaction that you are living the life that was meant for you. Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street put it well kerrmit the frog singingin his song, “It’s not easy being green.” Just as Kermit reached the conclusion that being green wasn’t so bad after all, you will eventually see that being you isn’t that bad either. It’s OK to be you.

I’ve written here before about being the best you that you can be and that advice is still valid. Before you can focus upon being the best you that you can be, you must first accept that It’s OK to be you. If it’s any comfort, just know that everyone before you and everyone around you went through, or are going through, the same struggle to find and accept themselves. Your challenge isn’t really that others not understanding you, it’s about you not understanding and accepting yourself. Once you can get to the point where you say to yourself, this is who I am and I accept that; then you can move on making the best life possible for yourself. You will be surprised how this-is-memany people value knowing you for being who you are – for your different outlook on life and your opinions on things. Eventually, you will find that soul mate who has been looking for someone exactly like you and maybe then you will finally accept and understand that It’s OK to be you.

Have a great and unique life and don’t worry – It’s OK to live a life others do not understand.


Make the world a happier place…

July 12, 2018

Today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog is so good that I have to repost the whole thing…

“Happiness starts with a smile.”  (Sent by Carol Stanonik)  When you’re on a bus or subway laughter isn’t what you expect.  A Belgian ad agency, working for Coca-Cola, hired an actor to start laughing on a crowded train, with today’s quote as the tagline.  The result showed how happiness can be contagious.  Even a simple smile at someone will often result with one in return.  This world, at times, can be unkind.  Let’s help to make it a happier place.    😉  Jack    Coca-Cola: Happiness starts with a smile – YouTube

You’ve got to play the video.

I recommend that you save that link to the video and play it back every morning before smiling-sunyou start out on your day. It may help put a smile on your face and that will start the process of making the world a happier place.

Be a contagious carrier of happiness today…put a smile on your face.


There needs to be a new middle ground…

July 9, 2018

In today’s post to Jack’s Winning Words, Jack used this quote – “Divide and rule is a sound motto.  Unite and lead is a better one.”  (Goethe)

Goethe’s words certainly offer a better solution than continuing down the destructive path of divisive politics that our country is currently on. What’s missing is someone charismatic enough to unite the country around a new direction and provide that leadership. I don’t see that person coming from either current political camp. Both Republicans and Democrats seem intent on solidifying their opposing positions and purging their ranks pf any who would dare to compromise with the other side. By focusing upon political purity they have silenced the moderates in either party who used to be able to work together for the common good of America.

Recall the words of the Stealer Wheel song – Stuck in the Middle with Youclown car

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you

Perhaps that’s where we all are right now, with clowns to the left and jokers to the right.

It is well past time for a new, third party, positioned in the middle, to emerge from this political melee. There will always be those who gravitate towards the extreme right or left positions, but they need not hold the rest of the country hostage to their ideologies. Instead of the anarchist approach of  “get the government out of everything”; or the “government knows best on everything” approaches of the two current parties, a platform based upon compassion, fairness, fiscal constraint and inclusiveness for all politiciaN SPEAKINGneeds to be championed by a leader who can inspire people to rally around the cause of a better America for all. Right now I don’t see that leader within the current political environment; he he/she is out there somewhere.

While it would seem to be a very uphill battle to start an entirely new political party, I just don’t see the willingness within either of the existing parties to embrace enough change in their current positions to be able to occupy the middle ground.  Perhaps that is just a leadership issue within both parties. Forming a new party would allow for the discarding of old positions and political baggage. There has already been one example of the ability of a single charismatic person to rally enough support to create a new movement and a new party – witness Ross Perot and his Reform Party of The United State of America. While that effort ultimately failed, it did prove that someone with enough financial backing and a strong message could make a significant dent in the American Political scene. Imagine the change that could occur if a really strong leader with the right message were to rally America towards the political center.

There will always be those who gravitate to the extremes on either political side and theydisagreement2 will not go away, but both extreme would be marginalized into the disgruntled little camps that they deserve to be, if there was a strong alternative in the middle providing the leadership needed to get things done for America. I suspect that a good number of politicians, who now swallow their pride and compromise their own values in order to cow tow to the litmus tests of their parties, would break ranks and switch a strong and sensible middle party.

What can we as ordinary citizens do? One thing is to stop supporting the extremes from either party and start finding (and voting for) better people to represent us. Start making noise for things, instead of just against things. Start running for offices ourselves, if we don’t see those that we can support running. Start doing and not just complaining. There needs to be a new middle ground and that starts with all of us who are already there. Let’s find that new leader to rally around.

Have a great week ahead.


He doesn’t blink…

July 6, 2018

Recently, Jack Freed made this post to his Jack’s Winning Words blog – “Be thankful for today, because in one moment your entire life could change.”  (Unknown)

Jack went on to write –  “In the blink of an eye.”  An eye blink is about 4/10s of a second.  If a batter blinks, the fastball will pass him before he opens his eyes again.  That’s how fast life can change for us…in the blink of an eye.  Perhaps you know of someone who’s experienced that.  Regina Brett wrote: “God never blinks!”  What comfort to know that God’s unblinking eye is on YOU!

Most of us have probably experienced one or more of those life changing moments that seem to happen “in the blink of an eye”. Perhaps it was the death of a loved one and maybe your reaction was something like this, “I was just talking with him yesterday.” Maybe it was a relationship that abruptly ended and you can’t figure out why. Maybe it was a job that went away without warning. Maybe it was that accident that left you disabled in some way or that deployment into a war zone that has impacted you in ways that you didn’t imagine. Whatever the life change that happened to you “in the blink of an eye”, we all do well to remember the words of Regina Brett – “God never blinks”. Your belief in God provides the unchanging touchstone in your life. Your faith gives you the rock-solid starting point from which to go forward from any setback.

What do I do now? How can I go one? How do I get through this? There are all typical questions that you may be asking yourself.  The key to coping is to stop turning yourwoman-praying questions inward and start directing your search for help in the only direction that always offers comfort and help – towards God. In times of crisis, it’s time to pray to God for help. While you could ask God to fix this for you; but, what you really need to do is trust God and ask Him instead for His help to get through whatever it is that He has put on your plate. I like a quote from Mother Teresa on this –

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.”  — Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

So no matter how your life changes in an instant, remember that there is nothing that God cannot help you handle, because He doesn”t blink.


The honor of serving others…

June 30, 2018

I recently was honored by our local Huron Valley Rotary Club by being named a Paul Harris Fellow. I am honored and humbled by the selection for that honor. The Paul paul harris pinHarris Fellow Award is the Rotary honor for service to the community is pursuit of the goal of making the world a better place for all. The Rotary has that goal and has done great things both locally and internationally.

As I was thinking about what to say in accepting the award, I drew inspiration from my most dependable source, the Jack’s Winning Words blog. I save the little quotes that Jack uses to open each blog post, because they usually come in handy as inspiration for something that I want to write about later. In this case, they seemed perfect as comments on this honor.

The first was this quote by Clarissa Pikola Estes –

“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.”

Small, local groups, such as local Rotary Clubs, Optimists Clubs, local Chambers of Commerce, Good Fellows groups and many others, are the backbone of local efforts to sewrving soupmake the part of the world that they can reach a better place to live for all. Often their efforts go unnoticed, because they work in the background on projects that may not garner much attention in the media; however, it is through those efforts that things get done, that needed to get done. Playgrounds are built, parks are cleaned up, homes are rehabilitated, meals are delivered to shut-ins and so much more.

Sometimes the results of a dedicated and tireless effort does have worldwide impact, such and the Rotary International effort to eradicate polio. Rotary clubs joined the fight against polio in 1979 with a campaign to provide polio vaccine around the world until polio was totally eradicated. By 2018 the campaign has achieved a 99.9% success rate against the polio virus worldwide and the fight continues to take the vaccine into the most remote regions of the world where the virus still exists.

The second quote that I used was from Helen Hayes –
“We relish our heroes, forgetting that we are extraordinary to someone.”

To those children who otherwise might go hungry this summer, the heroes are those who make sure that the school meals programs continue through the summer vacation. To those shut-in who might otherwise go hungry, the Meals on Wheels van drive is a hero. To the homeless veterans who otherwise would not have a blanket to sleep under or a new coat to wear when it get cold, the heroes were those who collected and distributed those gifts. To the child who wandered down the wrong path for a while the heroes arehomeless man those who reach out to help and counsel and not just to condemn. To the widows who lost a husband in war or in service to the community, the heroes are those who offered support and comfort and helped then find a way through their grief and the strength to go on.

There are many who toil in the background who probably never get an award or recognition of any sort from those that their efforts help or whose lives are made better because of their efforts. I was fortunate enough to be recognized for some of what I try to do in the community that I live in, but I think it is important to take a moment every now and then to give thanks for all who serve their communities and those in need there. They don’t do it to get recognition. They do it because it needs to be done and they have answered the call to do it.

Here are a couple of quotes that I found since that night that I wish I had used then, especially in this highly charged political year –

“Volunteering is the ultimate exercise in democracy. You vote in elections once a year, but when you volunteer, you vote every day about the kind of community you want to live in.” — Unknown

I write here often about getting out and serving others by volunteering for things in your community that need to be done. I also write about self-help quite often and dealing with life. That’s one reason that I like this quote by Mahatma Gandhi –

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

So, find something that needs to be done in your community and just do it. Volunteer. Serve. Find yourself.