Stuck in phase three…

May 17, 2020

I opined here a couple of times about the four phases that I predicted the people of this country would go through in this pandemic – see post What’s Your Plan? And my second post Time for Plan B. Those posts were made in March and April, which now seems like a long time ago. The first phase I liken to the shock and awe. The second phase is fear and anxiety. The third phase is frustration and anger. The fourth phase is when one accepts the current situation (it is what it is) and begins formulating and acting upon plans to make the best of it – finding ways to get on with life.

We have been through phases 1 and 2 and many have made it through phase 3 and moved on to phase 4, which is getting creative about how to live under the changes brought about by “new normal”. However, many seem to be stuck in Phase 3, primarily those who reacted in anger, due to their frustrations. Within a large population there will also ways be a significant portion who out of ignorance, obstinacy,  anger or all three will defy whatever they are advised or ordered to do. These are many of the same people who don’t stop at stop signs, because it is inconvenient for them to have to obey our stinking laws. They run around in T-shirts with “Live Free or Die” on them, which in the case of this pandemic should be changed to Live Free AND Die.

It would be easy to dismiss them as a radical fringe that should be ignored; however, their actions put other innocent people at risk. Unfortunately, when they return from their protest rallies they mix back into society (although some are easy to spot and avoid, since they refuse to wear masks in public) and go about potentially infecting others. When they get sick, they also demand treatment just like others who took precautions. No wonder the health care workers get so disgusted by their protest actions.

As Christians, this is one of those cases where we have to swallow hard and implement the advice that we have been given to “Forgive those who trespass against us”. I’m not sure that prayer is all that effective against anger and stupidity, but it is what we have to work with; so pray for those who can’t seem to get passed phase 3. Pray that patience, understanding and concern for others will overcome their frustration and anger. Pray for them to turn the energy that they are wasting in angry protest towards figuring out how to adapt to a situation that is not likely to change or go away.  Pray for them to go on to phase 4.

If you are one of those people who find themselves stuck in phase 3, you can pray, too. Perhaps praying, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” will help you pivot away from the self-destructive frustration and anger that you feel now and allow you to refocus on what you can be doing in a positive way to move on and adapt to the situation. Perhaps prayer will also help you see that the sacrifices that you have been asked to make are not a usurpation of your freedoms, but were put in place to try to help everyone be safer and able to move forward.

Get unstuck and move on to phase 4. We need your help getting on with life, not your protests. It’s not all about you, it’s all about us and a nation.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Imagine that…

May 8, 2020

From today’s post to the blog Jack’s Winning Words, comes this quote – “The best use of imagination is creativity.  The worst use of imagination is anxiety.”  (DeepakChopra)

It is hard not to be anxious these days. Every unmasked stranger that we pass by, we imagine is a COVID-19 carrier who is exposing us to the virus. Every surface that we touch might have last been touched by an infected person, so we wash our hands or use sanitizer. Every night the reports on the news shows reinforce our worst anxieties. What are we to do?

For one, we can turn our imaginations to being creative about staying safe. We have already seen people being creative about making their own facemasks and many have had to become creative about other things like gloves or making their own hand sanitizer. While we are staying home, we must use our creative side to avoid becoming bored, especially if we have younger children who must be kept busy ot occupied.

We can turn our imaginations towards finding ways to communicate with those whom we cannot visit right now. One doesn’t have to use technology to sit down and write a letter or pick up the phone and make a call to someone that we can’t visit with. Some have used their imaginations to create innovative posts to social media.

So, let’s all use our imaginations in positive ways to get through this crisis. Let’s be creative about how we protect ourselves and others. Let’s create our own “new normal”, rather than just being anxious about it. As Jack pointed out in his blog, we have a God who has advised us – “Be not anxious, for you have a God who cares for you and will never leave you.” 

Imagine that!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Waiting for later is the hard part…

May 7, 2020

In today’s post to his Jack’s Winning Words blog, Pastor Freed used this quote – “If you work hard and run straight, God’s gonna bless you sooner or later.”  (Brian Carroll) He went on to relate about Brian,  who works as a car concierge – a person who will do all of the work to buy a new car for you.

It seems like this current crisis has shown us how hard it is to wait for that blessing. We have become  a nation that is used to instant gratification, sometimes without working at all. We no longer have the patience to write novels; so, we write Tweets. Out “knowledge “is served to us in sound bites, rather than in great lectures. We are not willing to self-quarantine to protect others because what we have to do we feel is more important. For us, waiting is the hard part. We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

We have also become a nation obsessed with getting on to the next big thing, owning the next new gadget or having the next new experience. That tends to downplay what we already have, what God has already given us, including the fact that we awoke this morning to another day. Rather than be thankful for what we have already been given, we are constantly striving for the next thing. Rather than enjoying the gifts that we have in hand, we are dissatisfied with what we have yet to achieve or possess. We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

This crisis and the Stay at Home time that was government mandated in many areas should have provided the time to pause and thank God for being alive, for not being sick and for all of the other things that you have. Instead, it has driven many to acts of stupidity or worse. Violence in domestic abuse cases is up, suicides are up, shootings are happening over the lack of a mask in public and armed demonstrators have taken to the streets demanding the right to congregate and get sick. We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

That’s not how it works. Start with the work hard and run straight part of today’s quote. Basically, that boils down to doing the right things. The right things never involve the anger and stupidity that some are displaying or the violence towards others. Loving thy neighbor as you love yourself does not involve yelling and screaming, or pushing and shoving. We were asked to do the right things by staying at home and practicing social distancing when in public. For many that was easy to comply with, but for a few who don’t have the patience to wait and help stop the spread of the disease, it was impossible. We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

We now enter a very dangerous phase of this crisis, when economic and political pressures are forcing government leaders to take actions that they know will cause an increase in the number of deaths – projections from models range as high as 400,000+. Government leaders have decided that the potential death toll is an acceptable trade-off to get the economy running again. We will all soon be at greater risk in our stores and restaurants, at our workplaces and in any gathering of people in public. Our scientists medical professionals have warned us and shown us data that says we are not ready to re-open the country. Our reply… We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

Let’s hope that God takes pity on us. He has forgiven a foolish people before; maybe he will forgive us again. Maybe we should all pray for patience, rather than telling God…We don’t have time for later. Come on God, we have things to; let’s get to the blessings part now.

Lest we not be hypocrites, let’s also remember to pray for those who trespass against us (without their masks) as ask for forgiveness for our own trespasses.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Who are you becoming?

May 1, 2020

In his Jack’s Winning Words blog post today, Pastor Jack Freed used this quote –

 “With God it isn’t who you were that matters, it’s who you are becoming.”  (Liz Curtis Higgs)

Every day we have the opportunity to start the journey to becoming someone that we would like to be, rather than continue down the path that we’ve been on.  Most don’t stop to think about that each morning, nor do many actually pause to make a plan to start in that new direction. For most, It is just easier to let momentum continue to carry us in the direction that we’ve been going. We accept the status quo as, “I am”; instead of reaching for, “I could be”.  

The society that we live in doesn’t make that any easier for those whose past includes huge mistakes or even criminal behavior. Society tends to pin labels on those people and make it hard for them to become anything else. In some cases we use stereotypes, in most cases derogatory, to prejudge people or to “keep them in their place”.

But, what if you want to become something else and move to a different place.  What if you want to become known as the person that you are becoming and not as the person that you were? We see the occasional story on the news of the ex-con who turned his/her life around in prison and became a new person and headed in a new direction. In many cases they become advocates for change in other people’s lives.

The stories seldom go deep enough to detail the struggles that they went through to make that change, but it wasn’t easy. Our prison system is not designed to reform and help the inmates make life changes into positive directions as much as it is just designed to serve as a deterrent by the example it sets of the punishment for wrongdoing. The few that emerge from the prison experience having made dramatic life turnarounds did it on their own against huge odds.

The key for many, if not most, of those stories was the inmate’s acceptance of God in their lives. The reason that is so critical is that the first step in making the change was to realize that God forgives them for their past. They can then move on to forgiving themselves and from there to committing to becoming a new person – the person that they want to be.

One does not have to be an incarcerated criminal to undergo this process and make the changes in their life that allow them to become a better person – a person who is happier with who they are.  It is important, however, to seek God’s help as a first step. Accepting God into your life and accepting His forgiveness frees you to forgive yourself and move in a new direction – towards the person that you wish to become.

As you pause in prayer each morning, ask yourself what you will do today to become that person that you want to be and then ask for God’s help in accomplishing those things. It’s not an instant thing, but if you make it a consistent thing in your life you make some small amount of progress towards your goal each day.

Who are you becoming? What is your goal for today? Remember that God’s got your back.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Look for it…it’s still there…Hope

April 13, 2020

Pastor Jack Freed used this quote from the movie Shawshank Redemption in his blog today –

“Hope is a great thing, maybe the best of things.  No good thing ever dies”

Hope never dies, but sometimes it eludes us. Perhaps it is because we are so consumed with fear or anxiety that we fail to look for it. Hope is like an onion with many layers. You may start with I hope things get better soon or perhaps I hope things get back to normal soon. There may be a layer that says, I hope they find a cure for this soon. Right below that hope maybe the layer that says, I hope I don’t get this virus. If you dig down deep enough, at the core for almost everyone is the hope  – I hope I don’t die from this virus.

When one gets down to that level of the onion it is not unusual that one find that hope is joined by faith. Faith and hope together form the foundation for belief – belief in the message and promise of Easter that there is life after death.

As we wait out this pandemic, one can find  guidance and reassurance in the Bible. The book of Romans has quite a few good references to hope –

Romans 5 – “we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope”

As we persevere through the current stay at home lockdown, imagine the character that we are building. Think of it as a long workout at the gym, but we are not building muscle; but, rather, we are building  character. For most of us, this lockdown may be the longest amount of time that we’ve had by ourselves, maybe ever. For some it is building character that they did not know that they had in them and bringing out hope that may have been long forgotten.

Romans 8:24-25 “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

Perhaps hope is the best thing. Hope based upon faith and belief is the strongest hope of all. We all need that kind of hope during this prolonged crisis.

Romans 15:13 – “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Keep hoping and have patience.

Keep the faith. God be with you.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Time to relight the star…

April 8, 2020
Taken right at dawn coming back from walking the dogs

Years ago I bought a large Star of Bethlehem to use at Christmas time. It is a commercial display piece that is about 4 feet tall and 2 ½ feet across and lights up, so it can be seen from quite a distance. I usually use it as part of the Christmas decorations on my home. Since it is large and positioned on the second floor of the house, I just leave it up year around, but usually only illuminate it during the Christmas season. Until now. I have set it to light up from dusk until dawn until this crisis is over.

The current COVID-19 crisis has put the entire nation on edge and the stay at home order in this state has exacerbated those feelings of fear, uncertainty and doubt. I just felt like it was time to turn the star on again, to give people who see it something to cling to and have faith in.

It is ironic that it is lit during the Holy Week of Easter, yet somehow very appropriate. Christmas and Easter represent the birth and resurrection of hope as well as of our Lord. Now is a time that we all need hope and it is my intention that those seeing the star lit will find some measure of comfort and renewed hope for better days ahead.

If you drive by my house at night and see the star, please don’t honk, just smile and perhaps look over at the loved ones who may be with you in the car and have hope and faith that things will get better.

Be safe out there.

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Posted by Norm Werner

We’re not all in this together…

April 7, 2020

Lately, we constantly hear the phrase, “We’re all in this together”; however, there are many who don’t seem to buy into that. There are the hoarders, who are obviously looking out only for themselves and their families. Then there are the ignorant, who refuse to believe that this is important enough and serious enough to inconvenience the, so they ignore the advice, and even the orders, to practice social distancing and avoid crowds. They are the beach party goers, those still playing team games and those in street corner groups. There is a tendency to sit back and go – “Tsk, tsk”.

A more insidious group are those that we see reported in news casts who have found ways to take advantage of others during this crisis. The scammers are not doing harmless things. Some are just finding ways to get money through frauds like fake charity sites.  Some are, in fact, leading many people to their deaths by schemes that extract money for fake cures or even collecting money from people at fake testing sites. The penalties for those people should be much more than just a fine; perhaps they should be charged with attempted manslaughter.

Some of the worst cases of ignorance may be the religious zealots and cultists who seem steadfast in their beliefs that God will somehow protect them from the virus. So, they believe that it is all right for them to continue to gather in their churches. If they were only putting themselves at risk one might be able to overlook them as harmless kooks; however, they go out into their communities after the church services, potentially spreading the virus and well as their good news.

I have posted here before about the divergence of faith and religion and the harmful effects that the hand of man in religion has caused. The latest examples of ignorance and intransigence from church leaders in Texas and elsewhere provide more fodder for religious skeptics. One minister was quoted as saying that they believe in healing by the laying on of hands and will deal with this pandemic that way. One can only hope that they avoid touching their faces while laying on hands (that hopefully have been washed).

We must all lean more heavily than ever on our faith and find ways (virtually, of course) to practice our religious beliefs, too. We can do that without endangering others. My church, like most others, has found a way to provide a church service experience remotely. I do the video each week and edit it to put in the music and graphics to help the viewers follow along. We post our services to YouTube. Other churches are using streaming services or Facebook to reach out to the congregation members with services, prayer sessions, bible studies and other church activities. Those alternatives help the participants reinforce the sense of being “all in this together” even if we can’t physically be together.

As people of faith, no matter of what religion, it is important for us all to find a way to use and share that faith to get through situations like our current one. As hard as it may be to initially accept; that includes finding ways to include those who were mentioned above – the ignorant and obstinate, the malevolent fraudsters and the religious cultists. We cannot turn our backs on them, even if they have turned their backs on us. We cannot leave them behind. If in no other way, we can at least include them in our prayers, asking God to be with them and accept them into His kingdom along with us. Only then, will we truly all be in this together.

Stay safe. Keep the faith. Share the faith.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What soothes you during this crisis?

April 5, 2020

In his column today, Mitch Albom wrote under the headline “In a crisis, find the one thing that soothes you”. For Albom and his wife, that one thing is having a young man named Knox in their home during this crisis. Knox is from the orphanage in Hatti that Albom and his wife run. Knox was in America, staying at the Albom house, for a regularly scheduled therapy trip when the Covid-19 virus caused the shutdown of travel  back to Hatti.

For Mitch and his wife, being able to watch Knox explore and enjoy the things that they take for granted has provide them with a soothing distraction during the stay at home period. Perhaps the word “distracts” could be substituted for the word “soothes” in Albom’s headline; for it is something that takes you mind off the current crisis that his is describing.

There are many words that come to mind to describe the feelings, emotions or reactions that people are experiencing during this crisis. The words fear, frustration, anger, boredom and confusion all leap into the mind. But what is the one thing that is there not to distract us; but, to sooth us during this difficult period? I would argue that one thing is faith.

At the end of the day, every day, we all must put aside our feelings of fear or anger or frustration or whatever and seek comfort in the core beliefs that we hold. For Christians, those core beliefs always points to the same thing – that Jesus came to die for us, so that we might have eternal life. Nothing calms all of the concerns that our current situation has put us in more than a strong faith.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 4:6-7)

This is not to say that we should do foolhardy things to expose ourselves to more risk. Practicing the recommended social distancing and staying at home to slow the spread of the virus arte both prudent and necessary. They are also not selfish acts; but rather acts of concern and kindness to others. One could and should view them as acts of faith. Viewing them that way allows us to see them as proactive acts, rather than reactive acts and we can feel good about doing our part, instead of feeling like a helpless victim of our circumstances.  

Bringing your faith to the surface during this crisis not only comforts you, but it empowers you to comfort others. We see and hear all of the messages that say, “we’re all in this together” (albeit standing 6 feet apart from one another) and “we’ll get through this together”. When you see or hear those messages, don’t you have a reflex reaction to look around at others to see if those around you are as afraid or concerned as you? What most are really looking for is are those people whose faith has made them strong enough to be offering aid and comfort to others.

YOU can be that person, once you have empowered yourself through your faith. Empowerment through faith always starts with the same thing – prayer to God. It is certainly OK to ask God for protection for yourself, but it is much more empowering if you ask for His protection so that you can do his work to protect and comfort others.

Another story in the paper this morning was about the role that many healthcare workers find themselves in as they provide the last bit of earthly touch and comfort to the dying in hospitals or nursing care homes who would otherwise be alone, due to visitation restrictions. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they are sharing their faith with those patients. Playing that role takes a huge emotional toll on those healthcare workers; but one cannot but see the hand of God in their efforts to provide comfort in those final moments. As you pray, pray for God to continue to give our healthcare workers the strength to play that role.

We cannot all be on the front lines of this crisis with the first responders and the healthcare workers; but we can all join in the effort through prayer and faith and by doing what we can. Perhaps that means making masks, collecting or distributing food, calling neighbors, friends and family to make sure everyone is safe or to see what they might need. Whatever you can do to put your faith in action will bring you comfort. At days end, when you have done all that you can do, pause and consider this…

“Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created.”  (Esther 4:14) 

Keep the faith. Share the faith.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t mess with your selfie…

April 3, 2020

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words,  pastor Jack freed used this quote – “The easiest thing in the world to be is you.  The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be.  Don’t let them put you into that position.”  (Leo Buscaglia)

So, why is so hard for some  to just be yourself? I suspect that it is because we don’t necessarily like what we see when we look at ourselves. We take a mental “selfie” and immediately break out our copy of a virtual Photoshop to try to alter the picture.

For some it is their physical appearance with which they are uncomfortable. That may lead to all sorts of different and sometimes unusual steps to change that appearance. It may involve dying one’s hair bright orange or perhaps just wearing unusual clothes. Maybe it means getting a noose ring or a tattoo. It may even lead to plastic surgery to correct a perceived imperfection.

For others the desire to “fit in” may force dramatic changes in their behavior or lifestyle. If putting on the “uniform” of the group to which one wishes to belong isn’t enough, they change things like their vocabulary and speech patterns or maybe adopt a different lifestyle.

The rationale for making any of these changes is based upon trying to make yourself into something that you are not, to be something that you think other people want you to be. That rationale starts with your own dissatisfaction with what you see when you take that mental selfie. If you cannot love yourself and what you see in that selfie, it is natural to try to find others to emulate, in the mistaken belief that you will be happier being them than you are being you.

Life seldom works out that way. It is not until much later in life that most discover and appreciate the words of Meryl Streep – “What makes you different or weird, that’s your strength.” 

Maybe what you see in your mental selfie looks weird to you, or at least different. Start by embracing that and saying it is OK – it is your strength. In fact, maybe you should find ways to enhance and bring out those differences that make you unique. After all, they are your strength. Instead of being just another clone dressed in the cookie-cutter “uniform” of the crowd, you will stand out as someone with the confidence and strength of character to go their own way in fashion as in life. You might be surprised how attractive that can be.

How do you start to go your own way? Well, it starts with loving yourself and who you are. I’ve posted here about accepting and loving yourself first several times. Rather than spending your time seeking the approval of others, seek first approval of yourself. You must come to the conclusion that I am who I am, I like who I am and I’m not going to change who I am to suit others. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable you will be around others. In that comfort within your own skin you will find courage and confidence that will radiate from you and make you the type of person that others enjoy being around.

For some, loving yourself may start with accepting the fact that God loves you just the way yo are. God does not ask or expect you to change. He just loves you and accepts for who you are. After all, He made you what you are and how can you not love that. So, if you can accept the love of God, you should be able to love yourself and then you can go on to love others and be loved by others.

So, it is alright to look in the mirror in the morning and take that mental selfie. The goal should not be to makes changes to be like someone else; but, rather, to be the best you that you can be that day. Embrace the things that make you different. They are your strength. They empower you. Loving yourself will allow others to love you, too.

Today, start by taking that mental selfie and saying – “Hello world. Get a load of this. It’s me. Don’t you just love it? I do.”  The world will be a happier place because you let the real you shine through.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Life goes on in self-isolation

March 26, 2020

I remember a common phrase from my childhood that one could be “all dressed up with nowhere to go”. That phrase certainly is apropos for today’s mandated “stay home” environment. Unlike some that I see posting on Facebook, I just can’t sit around in my pajamas all day. To be fair some posted that they had “day pajamas” and “night pajamas”; so, I guess they did change for the day.

Personally, I just can’t seem to sit around in my PJ’s past noon. I have to have a shower and get dressed. Lately, I have admitted to myself that I’ve been putting on a normal business casual outfit each morning, but that I have no appointment or calls to make. I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go. Both of the jobs that I work at have been designated under the Executive Order as non-essential, so I am directed to stay home.

Zoom meetings on line have taken the place of real meetings. I had two yesterday and one scheduled for today. Meeting on-line like that take more discipline that most have, so these meetings can devolve into a calliope of people vying to be the one speaking at any time. The Zoom app allows for about 40 minutes of meeting time free; however, it can take almost that long to get everybody signed into the meeting and quieted down when it is first used.

My wife and I have ventured out to get gas and a few groceries that we needed – she stays in the car and I run in and get what we need. Then, there is always the search for toilet paper or other items that have struck the fantasy of hoarders, such as eggs. I wonder if the hoarders wrapping their eggs in toilet paper to keep them safer.  We also take rides through the local Metropark almost daily, just to get out of the house and to see if there are any deer out. I walk my dogs 4-5 times a day, which provide great opportunities for fresh air and a little exercise. It is amazing how many birds one can hear when there is so little road traffic to mask their songs.

We are in the mid to late fear and anxiety phase that I wrote about a few days ago (see March 20 post) . You may recall that I postulated that  there are four phases that we all will go through in this crisis – Phase 1 was shock and awe; Phase 2 is fear and anxiety, which most are in right now; Phase 3 is frustration and anger, which coming rapidly for many that have been forced to stay home (especially those with children).  The cute aspect in this situation probably wore off by day 2 of the stay at home experience. Next, we will all enter phase 4 and figure out how to live in this new reality. That will include businesses figuring out how to continue doing at least some business during this shutdown.

I can do some parts of both of my jobs from home, but both ultimately involve personal contact with clients – listing houses and showing houses or selling advertising for the paper.

The housing market has been impacted by the fears of sellers and buyers about visiting homes that are for sale. Would-be sellers are holding off because they fear showing visitors bringing the virus into their homes. Buyers are staying away because they are justifiably concerned about the sanitary conditions in homes that they might visit. The real estate industry is responding with virtual showing visit apps and other technology-based solutions.

There is no app-based solution for advertisers whose businesses have been shut down pulling their ads. They, too, will figure out how to do business during this time. Most have some Internet presence, which they ae beefing up or they are adding E-commerce apps and capabilities.

The promised government intervention in the form of checks to everyone will help some and give the economy a little boost and the other programs of loans or loan payment hiatuses and other measures will help some. Just as the health system is prepared to enter triage mode, if the wave of Covid-19 cases overwhelms its capacity; the financial world and government emergency aid programs will have to triage the applications by small businesses for help. Some just will not make it.

This crisis is really an unprecedented test of the will of the people and the nation. We are used to weathering other types of crisis – hurricanes, tornadoes, other natural disasters and even wars. This is vastly different. We usually crank up the American business machine in response to those things, but this crisis threatens to shut that machine down completely. If, or when, that happens, it will be just the people vs. the disease. I have faith that the American people will prevail and then they will go restart and rebuild the American business machine. We are not hunkering down in fear; we are hunkering down in resolve to defeat this enemy.

God bless America and keep us all safe.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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