Where’s that man gone?

July 29, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent August 3, 2018. Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

Mark Twain

“Never lie to someone who trusts you and never trust someone who lies to you.” (Mark Twain) I read that 60% of people will lie at least once during a 10-minute conversation – little white lies, mostly. Whatever…truth is taking a beating these days. We used to believe: “A man’s as good as his word.” Where’s that man gone? If we’re to have a culture of believability, it has to start with us. Lying, as a norm, is unacceptable. We can do better than that. 😉  Jack

 We have lots of new terms to cover lying, especially in the current political environment – misinformation…disinformation…fake news…and more. Twain would have simplified them all as lies. Although often attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer, Twain is also credited with saying, “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” We have certainly witnessed a lot of the ridicule and violent opposition stages in recent years.

I think the key takeaway from Jack’s post is that if we want the culture to change it has to start with us. We can and should be doing better in our own day-to-day loves by embracing and living in an honest and ruthful way. We must be honest not only with others but with ourselves, too. There are no “little white lies”, there are just lies, especially when we are lying to ourselves.

The lies that we tell ourselves are especially insidious because they encourage us to lie to others about things such as how we feel or what we believe. Many times, the lies that we tell ourselves are really just excuses – excuses for failures, excuses for things that we have done and for things that we have left undone.

In the prayers of confession that start our church service each week we pray for forgiveness for things that we ‘ve done and things that we’ve left undone. Perhaps we also need t forgive ourselves in order to move on with life. I wrote about forgiving yourself back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/10/08/forgive-yourselffree-yourselfmove-on/

So, stop lying to yourself and to others. Forgive yourself for things that are in your past and move on. You will have no need for lies. The creation of a culture of believability starts with you. Jack asked where has that man gone? Answer by saying, “He is here, I am him”. We can do netter than that and it starts with us.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where will you find inspiration?

June 21, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally posted 1/15/21- Reprints of posts to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed

“You can look anywhere and find inspiration.”  (Frank Gehry)  Vanity Fair named Gehry the most important architect of our time.  His quote today became a challenge for me to look around…  What can give me inspiration?.  My hand?  Max Lucado’s book, Wonderful?  How about the waste basket?  I decided on the keyboard’s delete key.  What if there were a delete key for life mistakes?  When it comes to our “sins” God has a delete key on His laptop, too.  😉  Jack

As you have probably noticed if you have read this blog for any time, I used to find much of my inspiration for posts to this blog by reading the daily blog posts that I got from the late Pastor Jack Freed. I would usually expand on the topic from the 2-3 sentences that Jack used in his posts. When Jack passed, I was at a loss for inspiration for a while and my posts to my own blog waned. Then his son started reposting some of his best posts and I again found inspiration in those reposts. I also remembered that I had saved most of the emails that Jack sent with his daily posts in them, like the post above. Where will you find inspiration?

I like Jack’s analogy about the keyboard’s Delete key. Many apps also have an “Undo” feature that backs things up in the workflow to a point before the present and lets you try again. That would certainly be helpful in life, wouldn’t it? However, life doesn’t give us “do overs”. Instead, the best that we can do is to let go of the past and move on.  Sometimes what we need is a little inspiration to get us started again. Where will you find inspiration?

Inspiration doesn’t have to be writing blog posts. You may be inspired to do some work around the house or maybe to do some volunteer work. It could be that you are inspired to go visit somebody or maybe call them. It doesn’t matter what it is; inspiration is that little push that you need to get you started towards some goal. Where will you find inspiration?

Ideas, dreams or desires often turn into inspiration once you get past the inertia of doing nothing about them. Guilt about something that you did or remorse about something that you didn’t do can also inspirate some action to correct things. Many laws have been passed and charity foundations created out of work that was inspired by a loss or tragedy. Some find inspiration in prayer. I like the little prayer I saw recently – “Lord help me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.” Everyone should be inspired by that. Where will you find inspiration?

Look for it and you will find it. Where will you find inspiration?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the goodness…

June 16, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent June 16, 2009.

“Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.” (Regina Brett) Brett’s quote is a reminder that expecting perfect equity often leads to frustration. But when we separate the idea of “fairness” from “goodness”, we recognize that even when we’re dealt an unfair hand, there are still positive experiences, growth and beauty in this world. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight for justice, but we can’t let it block out the goodness in life. Have a good day! 😉 Jack

Life seems to have lots of loud things, often bad things, that vie for our attention and quite often drown out the good things. Bad things can be like flash-bang grenades. They go off in our faces, command our attention and sometimes they blind us to the good that is still there. They are the “Hey, hey look at me” things that distract us and which can consume us if we let them. People who experience depression get stuck focusing upon the bad things and can’t see a way out. It’s like being in a long dark tunnel. Yet there is always a little light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Hope. Focus on the goodness.

I wrote about the light of hope for depression back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/01/05/hope-supplies-the-light/ so I won’t repeat myself here. This post is not about depression; it is about focusing upon the goodness of life in your everyday life. That is a great way to balance out all the bad noise that can seem to be all around. Focus on the goodness.

The good news is that the goodness of life is all around us, too. Goodness is usually not as loud and there are few bringing it to our attention. A few of the broadcast news shows now have a segment at the end that takes the time to highlight stories of goodness. These are usually stories of people helping other people or maybe about people overcoming great difficulties and ending up happy. They are feel good stories that are intended to do just that for the viewers – make them feel good. Focus on the goodness.

When you aren’t watching the news you can find the goodness that is around you by looking for it. It may be as simple as observing the goodness of the innocent play, laughter, and happiness of children. Perhaps you will recognize the goodness of someone opening a door for you or feel good when you hold a door open for someone else. Maybe something good will happen to you unexpectedly or perhaps after something bad has happened you stop to realize that you are OK…and that all is good. Focus on the goodness.

The key to seeing and appreciating the goodness around you is your frame of mind. A good way to start is to stop right after you wake up each day and say a little prayer thanking God for another day. At the end of that prayer, ask God to help you focus on the good in life rather than the bad things. Those bad things will still be there, but you won’t be focusing upon them. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll be surprised how different life looks to you and how much better you feel about life when you stay focused upon the goodness around you.  Focus on the goodness.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Believe in yourself…

June 15, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent 5/16/19 – Reprints from pasts to his blog by the late Rev. Jack Freed.

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch, but on her own wings.  Always believe in yourself.”  (Unknown)  In the Bible Paul wrote to some friends of his…”I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  As I look back on my life, I see times when God has entered life events and given me a kind of power to persevere.  As the bird trusts in its wings, I trust in God’s omnipresence.   😉  Jack

Unspoken in the quote about the bird and its ability to fly is that the ability to fly is a God given ability. So, too, is the ability to believe in yourself when the going gets tough and to persevere through adversity. There are many places in the bible that talk about God helping people, but nowhere does it say that he did it himself; rather it always talks about God giving the believer the strength, the courage and the self-belief to do it themselves. Believe in yourself.

Fear is the root cause of self-doubt and the major thing that holds us back from doing the things that we want to do. It may be fear of failure or fear of looking foolish or some other fear, but the bedrock upon which all fear is based is the fear of death. That is why a strong belief in God and the acceptance of God in your life can help you overcome those other fears. Acceptance of God through Jesus means that you accept that you will have eternal life beyond your physical death. You need not fear death and after that not fearing other things becomes easier. Believe in yourself.

Believing in yourself does not mean displaying bravado. Indeed, many people who display bravado do so as much to try to convince themselves as to convince others of their bravery. The term foolhardy often follows closely behind such displays. Believing in yourself will give you a quiet sense of confidence with which to proceed, no matter what the outcome. That belief allows you to try and it also encompasses the ability to deal with the adversity of a failure (when the branch breaks out from under you) and learn from it. Believe in yourself.

If you watch much sports on TV you will often see elite athletes who have just accomplished something (winning a race, scoring a goal or making a touchdown) pointing to heaven and thanking God. They also mention God in interviews after the event, often saying that God gave them the ability to do what they did. They may also say that they believed they could do it and that was the key for them. Believe in yourself.

Believing in yourself my sound like it is self-centered and egotistical and it would be if it were not centered around your belief in God. Romans 8:31 says “If God is with us, who can stand against us?”  So, in reality when you say that you believe in yourself you are saying I believe in God. Just do it. Believe in yourself.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you proud of who you are…

May 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 5, 2022.

“I’m proud of who I am.” (Rico Nasty) Today is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo, which translates as May the 5th. Surprisingly, it’s a bigger holiday in the USA than in Mexico. It’s a day when people of Mexican heritage show their pride in their roots, and remember that on May 5, 1862 the Mexican army defeated France in a battle for independence. Many of us are proud of our heritage. The Ukrainians come to mind. In spite of current divisions in our country, I’m still singing, “I’m proud to be an American.” How about you? 😉  Jack

 OK, so I’m a day late with this post. I had to think a while about what to write on the theme that Jack used in his post. I’m pretty sure that Jack would still say the same thing about being proud to be an American, even as he may have disagreed with most of the things that the current administration is doing. Are you proud of who you are?

The more important message in Rico Nasty’s quote if to be proud of who you are. Proud of the person you’ve become and the values and morals that you hold too. That pride can be based upon the honesty with which you conduct yourself. You can easily tell if that is true at the end of each day if you have conducted yourself in such a manner that you end the day without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Are you proud of who you are?

We use a prayer at my church asking for forgiveness for “things which you have do and things left undone”. I most often find that last part to be the toughest and in need of the most forgiveness. Many of us leave things undone that we know we should do – help that we do not render when presented with the chance or maybe forgiveness not extended to someone who has wronged us.  Are you proud of who you are?

In today’s political environment what comes to mind immediately are the words of Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.” There are many ways to express your disagreement with things that are happening. I have Dr. King’s quote on a lawn sign that I display at times like this. It’s not marching in protest, but it is something and it gives me a small feeling of pride at the end of the day. Are you proud of who you are?

Yesterday I saw a little Zen message in a word game that I play on my phone – “Be happy with what you have, not envious of what others have.” I think that ability to be happy with your life and what you have or have accomplished and not envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others is a key to being proud of who you are. Many just don’t spend enough time being thankful for and taking pride in what they have and what they done – perhaps a successful marriage, maybe raising great children, or being happy and successful with your work.  Are you proud of who you are?

In the end, it will all come down to that moment of judgement between you and God and it will be God asking that question about your life – Are you proud of who you were?  The good news is that if you are reading this post, you still have time to make changes in your life so that you can answer that question with a smile. Until that time at the end of each day, look back and ask yourself – Are you proud of who you are?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the important things…

April 28, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 30, 2021
“You’ll never reach your destination if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks at you.” (Winston Churchill) There’s lots of “barking” going on these days. It reminds me of the carnival pitchmen (barkers) who’d try to get our attention. A friend of mine would say, “Jack, remember to make the main thing the main thing.” In other words, keep your focus on the important events, not the sideshow. I try to keep that in mind as I watch the news and read the ads. Churchill was a great leader, because he was able to focus. It makes for a more peaceful life too. 😉 Jack


As always, Jack’s words are resonant today as they were back in 2021. There may be different dogs barking today, but they are still only the sideshow. One of the traits of great leaders that Jack pointed out is the ability to identify and focus on the things that are really important in our lives.


For leaders of people or nations, the things that are important tend to have wide-ranging consequences that impact all, whether they be wars or economic trends or climate change. For us as individuals the important things most often involve interpersonal relationships – things that impact our wives, our children, our family or our friends.


We focus on providing for those that we love, so we work at jobs to earn the money to provide. For some the focus shifts from the reason that we work to the work itself, and career advancement becomes the most important thing for them. Becoming too focused upon one’s career is one of the main reasons that marriages fail, and families break up. There is a saying in business that “it’s lonely at the top”. Perhaps that is because so many interpersonal relationships were sacrificed to get there.


Another thing that sometimes get shoved down (sometimes completely off) the list of important things in our lives is our faith. Through much of the last half of the twentieth century and the first quarter of the 21st century church attendance has been declining. There are many reasons, but one cannot help but see the shift of attention away from this important matter and onto things that are just sideshows – the so-called “blue laws” that kept most stores closed on Sundays gave way to 24 hours a day seven days of the week sales and shopping, sports events or practices for children and adults became the focus for Sunday mornings, and we became more used to thinking of Sunday as a day to have fun than a day to worship.


So, maybe it is time to step back and re-look at what you have been focusing upon. What is really important in your life? Maybe you’ll discover that it is not what but who is important in your life. You will probably be able to come up with a short list of people whom you consider to be important. The longer you think about that and the more you re-arrange the list in order of importance the more God will advance up the list, until He takes His place at the top of the list.


Focus on the important things. If you make it back to that place where God is the most important thing in your life a strange thing happens – you stop hearing the barking dogs of life’s distractions. The fears and anxieties about things over which you have no real control anyway will melt away. As Jack puts it at the end of his remarks, it makes for a peaceful life.

Focus upon the important things!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Stop staring at your shoes…

April 21, 2025
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 20, 2021
“Always ask yourself what will happen if I say nothing.” (Kamand Kojouri) Each of us has probably been in a situation where we should have kept our mouth shut, or conversely, should have spoken up…but remained silent. One of my favorite Bible passages is Ecclesiastes 3. I like this interpretation: “There’s a time for everything. There’s a time to speak up…and a time to shut up.” One of my WW II heroes is Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German pastor who spoke out against Hitler and lost his life because of it. When something is right or wrong, it’s our responsibility to speak up or to be complicit. Bonhoeffer is worth emulating. 😉 Jack


The news shows this weekend had stories about the mass protests that occurred over the weekend in various locations around the country. The video accompanying the stores showed hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people out on the streets protesting the actions of the current administration on a variety of issues, all of which boiled down to doing things that are just wrong.


Not everyone is comfortable taking up a sign and joining the protests on the streets and a part of that uncomfortable feeling is the realization that saying nothing against wrongs that need to be righted is a form of compliance or agreement with those wrongs. It’s not that they don’t agree that it is wrong, it mainly is that they fear being identified and perhaps retaliated against for expressing those feelings.
It is that fear of retaliation that the administration is promoting and counting on to keep people inline – especially the people in their own political party. Some in the ruling party have even come out and stated that they fear retaliation if they take a stand in line with their own conscious or convictions. How sad for America.


Sad also is the timid response and lack of leadership of the opposition party. As Jack pointed out, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was willing to risk his life to speak out against the atrocities for the Nazi regime. Many, if not most, of our current day politicians are not willing to risk their political lives (careers) to speak out against what they know is wrong. Instead, they stare down at their shoes in hopes that they can wait this nightmare out.


Politicians on both sides are being pummeled in town hall meetings when they go back home, mainly for their cowardice. The importance of the demonstrations in those town hall meetings and in the streets cannot be overstated. It is only through creating greater fear in the politicians about being voted out of office that these political cowards will be forced to take action to correct what is happening. They must fear the anger of the voters more than they fear retaliation from the administration for doing what is right.


So, ask yourself the question that Kamand Kojouri posed – “What will happen if I say nothing?” The answer to Kojouri’s question is that nothing will change unless you say something. Jack would be out there if he were here today. Stop staring at your shoes and join the protest in support of doing the right things.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Chose to do the right thing…it matters.

April 16, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 6, 2016.
“The only alternative to co-existence is co-destruction.” (Nehru) There’s been some scary talk lately about the use of nuclear weapons. This world is better served by leaders who seek ways to co-exist with diversity than to work toward eradicating any way but “our” way. In any relationship there has to be give and take (bargaining) to make it work. The healthiest families have learned this. Even God bargains: “If you will be my people, I will be your God.” 😉 Jack


I suspect Jack would be appalled by today’s political environment in the United States. I know that if he were still alive he would not be silent about his displeasure with and opposition to the things happening here in America and around the world in places like Ukraine.


I am reminded of the words of Martin Luther King when he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”. There are lots of things that matter under attack right now. Many politicians (usually of a specific party) have chosen to remain silent about what is happening. Not so, obviously, for members of the other political party.


A key thing to watch and understand is why these politicians are remaining silent (or in some cases even defending the wrongs that they see happening). Just like children, they are succumbing to bullying. They are afraid, and in that fear their cowardice and sense of self-preservation overcomes their basic sense of right and wrong. Indeed, some have even convinced themselves that what they see happening is right and good.


Let me stop here and state that I do not disagree that there are many things that need to be fixed or corrected. The issue for me and I suspect many others is the approach that is being taken to solving those problems. That concern about the approach is also what seems to be driving so many of the judicial restraining orders and temporary halts to actions being taken to solve the problems.


Can federal employees be fired or laid off? Certainly, just not in the capricious ways that are currently being employed. Can illegal immigrants be deported? Of course, just not without some level of due process ,as we are currently seeing. Can people disagree with what is happening and voice that disagreement, whether in peaceful protest or in news articles or broadcasts. Yes, that is a fundamental right in the Constitution.


So here we are. People are being rounded up, shipped off to holding facilities thousands of miles from their family and friend or put on planes and flown to foreign prisons all without due process. Major decisions that should be considered, debated and voted upon by our elected representatives are now made by decree. And the restructuring of the federal bureaucracy, which certainly can be defended as being justified and long overdue, continues at a chaotic and destructive pace with no thought or plan in evidence.


While the current politicians in power appear to have chosen the co-destruction option, there is still hope that sanity and some latent sense of right and wrong will prevail. However, we cannot just sit on the sidelines and hope for the best. We must not be silent about things that matter. It is up to each of us and all of us to resist what we know is wrong, even in the face of the bullying that we know will come as a result. What form that resistance takes is also up to each of us. What will you do? It matters.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Before it’s too late…

April 15, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent July 24, 2010
“Why do people always apologize to corpses?” (David Brin) Recently I saw an article about how to say, “I’m sorry.” The writer suggested that empathy (putting yourself in the other’s place) is the start of a good apology. Besides that, people who apologize tend to have better mental health. Oftentimes we will make an admission of guilt but fall short of asking for forgiveness. They go together. “I’m sorry! Forgive me!”. How about sharing those words with someone today…before it’s too late. 😉 Jack


Jack’s advice to do it now, before it’s too late, is valid for apologizing and asking for forgiveness from others and for admitting your own mistakes and forgiving yourself. It is as big of a mistake to go to the grave with guilt and remorse things that you should have forgiven yourself for doing (or not doing) as it is to wait too long to apologize and as for forgiveness from someone who has died.


People don’t realize how debilitating remorse can be to their own health. It can deprive them of sleep and will certainly deprive them of being as happy as they otherwise might be. Don’t wait. Deal with it. Forgive yourself and move on.


Some may ask, how do I apologize to myself and forgive myself? Whatever it was that you have remorse for having done (or not done) was likely offensive to God, too. It may be easier to first apologize to God and ask his forgiveness.


So, take Jack’s advice and use the words that he recommended in a prayer – “God, I’m sorry for what I have done (or not done). [You may wish to insert the details of your transgression here.] Please forgive me.” You will likely feel an immediate sense of relief for having ask for God’s forgiveness and that will make it easier for you to forgive yourself.


While you are in that positive frame of mind it is a great time to take the next step and unburden yourself of the false belief that you can control the things happening in your life. As long as you are already talking to God, you might as well go ahead and add the little prayer that I use a lot – “Not my will, but thy will be done.”

walking man


Doing both of those things will free you from the guilt of things in your past and the anxiety about things in your future. You will be free to live in the moment, and that’s a good thing.

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Have no regrets…

April 2, 2025


“Minimize regret by making decisions based on who you are, not who you wish you were.” (Unknown)
I recently saw that saying somewhere on-line (I can’t remember where). I Googled it and it turned out to closely match the sayings of a life coach who teaches people how to make decisions with minimal regrets. Who knew such people exist?


The other thing that comes up when you Google that phrase are stories about how Jeff Bezos made his decision to leave the Wall Street world and start Amazon. Out of his experiences has come a concept called the Regret Framework, a methodology for making decisions with minimal regret potential. I had no idea that a whole framework existed for avoiding regrets.


While interesting in the context of decision making, I think the basic concept of accepting and understanding who you are and using that understanding as the foundation for living your life is the key. I have posted here before about accepting and loving yourself (see Love Yourself First, and Forgive Yourself). Those are ways that you acknowledge and accept who you are. When you do that, you let go of the burden that comes with trying to be like someone else and can focus on just being the best you that you can be. You will have no regrets.


Our measurement-oriented society does not make living without regrets easy. From a very young age we are encouraged (indeed required) to measure ourselves against others. It is not just about how you did; it is about how did you do against Billy or Sally? Everything becomes a contest where there are declared winners and losers. Regrets are associated with being the loser in whatever it is. Those are most often self-inflicted regrets. Stop measuring yourself against others. You will have no regrets.


One of the organizations that has rejected that scenario is the Special Olympics, where every participant in an event is considered to be a winner for having tried their best. Everyone gets a medal and no one has to have regrets. Be the best participant in life that you can be. You will have no regrets.


If you accept and learn to love who you are you will have no need to measure yourself against others. You will stop trying to meet expectations based upon someone that you wished you could be. You allow yourself to be happy with what you were able to accomplish. You will have no regrets.


Forgiving yourself and accepting yourself are both solitary experiences and one might think that you will feel lonely in such experiences. I posted about that to in Don’t be lonely…love yourself. You will have no regrets.


If you find that you need a framework for your life so that you don’t end up with regrets, look to your faith. There are tons of examples and guidance for a regret free life to be found in the Bible. No better example for living a regret-free life exists than Jesus. Jesus does not ask that you measure yourself against him. Rather he sets the example of what to strive for, His life provides goals for us to use for our lives. Keep those goals in mind and You will have no regrets.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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