No doubts…just do’s

September 19, 2024

Today’s graphic highlights one of the biggest roadblocks that people encounter in life – our doubts.

Whether you call them doubts or fears, it is our own mind that is creating the roadblocks to our progress or success as a person. You will often hear people say that they didn’t do somethings because they didn’t think that they could do it.

Why do people raise these fears and then let them stop their progress? Perhaps the biggest reason is that realizing our dreams or goals for tomorrow often involves embarking into uncharted waters -going someplace that we’ve never been, trying something new that we’ve never done, or perhaps engaging with someone that we’ve never really met. Just the fact that to get where we think we want to go means trying something new can be frightening for some.

Perhaps a start to finding a way out of this dilemma, is to stop and acknowledge to yourself that you are a little (o0r a lot) afraid of some of the possible outcomes that you envision. Just stopping and  overtly making this an intellectual exercise instead of an emotional one helps. Instead of wasting time playing “whet if” mind games with yourself, maybe focusing upon turning your dreams for tomorrow into plans to accomplish them is a better approach. Just the process of planning is a positive step towards those dreams or goals.

If you busy yourself with planning, you will have no time for the doubts or fears to are holding you back. Once you get a plan started you can jump to the Nike catch phrase “Just do it”. There is no reason to allow the planning process itself to become a roadblock. You don’t need a complete plan to get started.

Ready, Fire, Aim works just as well as Ready, Aim, Fire so long as you make adjustments as you go. Our lives are not like a Russian artillery shell, which once fired will either proceed straight to the target (or maybe fall short). Rather they are like a Ukrainian drone which gets airborne, then looks for the target and homes in until it make a hit.

So, don’t let your doubts hold you back. Get airborne already. Then, make adjustments as needed to hit your target – your dreams or goals.  

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Posted by Norm Werner

Learn from experience, don’t regret it…

September 10, 2024

The Best of  Jack’s Winning Words 9/9/24 – Originally sent June 20, 2013

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” (Victoria Holt) Victoria was an English writer of romance novels. Her quote could probably apply to some situations in her fiction. It could also relate to some everyday life experiences. You can find both romance and “the pits” in relationships, if that’s what you’re looking for. The key is to realize that life has ups and downs. So don’t regret, live a little, and learn a lot. 😉  Jack  

I like a line from the song “My Way”, made famous by Frank Sinatra, says, “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention.”

A setback or a failure, maybe a rejection or disappointment, every bad experience can be turned into a learning experience instead of a regret if we handle it the right way. What is the right way to handle the bad things in life? Maybe it begins by not taking everything so personally. Life and God aren’t out to get you. Most of the time other people who might have been a part of it did not do whatever it is purposefully to hurt you (bullying is the exception to that).

Things just happen, both good and bad and you can’t control that. What you can control is how you react to the things that happen around you or to you. You can stop and think before you react. If another person is out of control in the situation, you can try to be the calm voice of reason, rather than contributing to the chaos by joining in.

Most of the time, even in bad situations, things aren’t really out of control, it’s just your reactions that might need reining in. Some of the biggest things that might be driving your over reaction are anger, fear, stress or grief. Just stopping to ask yourself, “Am I angry at something or someone? Am I afraid of something or someone? What is it that has me stressed out? Or, what loss in my life is causing this grief?

Force yourself to ask and then force yourself to answer. Why? Because now you have started an intellectual conversation with yourself that will also force you to deal with whatever it is by asking, What can I learn from this?

Sometimes what you learn is that you need to take the time to have a good cry, to get them out and let the emotions wash over you for a few moments. A god cry can be a catharsis in moments of grief.

Sometimes you may just need to take a deep breath and retake control over a fear, usually by realizing that it is unfounded. Or maybe that deep breath will help you realize that the stress that you were feeling is a self-inflicted thing that you can control.

Many times, you may find that the anger that you were experiencing is anger at yourself. Go ahead and call yourself a name or whack yourself in the face. Doing either will allow you to see the stupidity and humor of the situation and free you to take the next step of forgiving yourself.

So it’s not really good or bad. It’s all good, so long as you learn from it. Just don’t regret it.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Accept and move on…

September 5, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 9/3/24 – Originally sent August 30, 2021.

Everything is going to work out; there’s no other option.” Kari Miller) Kari is amazing! She lost her legs in a car accident caused by a drunk driver, and took a bad situation and made it better by joining the American Paralympics Sitting Volleyball Team. Try playing volleyball while sitting! I have a hard time while standing. But when you have no other option, you do what you can do. All of the Paralympians give us encouragement that things will work out for those who don’t give up…like Kari. 😉 Jack

I’ve posted here recently about patience and perseverance. Today’s quote from the Jack’s Winning Words blog really depends on those two qualities. Life does have a way of rewarding those who are patient and persistent. In the end, things turn out to be OK.

When life throws us a curve ball, such as that which Kari experienced; too many spend too long (sometimes the rest of their lives) in denial, refusing to accept what happened and move on with life. Acceptance is the first step to recovery and moving on. It happened. It’s done. What’s next?

Some things, like what happened to Kari, require major changes in the direction in which our lives were headed. It may require starting a new career. It may require forming new relationships. It will most certainly require a reevaluation of the things that are important to us.

So when stuff happens to change the course of our lives, you might say, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.” but you must accept it and go on to say, “What’s next?” You must move past it by moving on. Just remember – Everything is going to work out; there’s no other option.

Perhaps you will find the little prayer that I use to be helpful for you – “Not my will, but thy will be done.” This little prayer let you release yourself from the trap of self-pity and remorse by surrendering to God’s will. It let’s you accept and move on. Try it and move on.

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Posted by Norm Werner

It’s not our strong suit…

August 28, 2024

Patience is a virtue that few possess in sufficient quantity.

Yet patience, along with perseverance, are the keys to success in many of life’s ventures. Impatience goes hand-in-hand with an inability to deal with setbacks and failures as the primary causes of the lack of success.  We give up too soon.

Imagine what great inventions we would have never had if Thomas Edison gave up as quickly as most people do today. Two of Edison’s many quotes on persistence seem to fit here …

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Don’t let the guy who wins be the guy who kept going when you decided to quit. Give yourself the chance to succeed by trying just one more time. The other secret to Edison’s successes was that he learned something from every failed attempt. Don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over and expect different results. Your mantra should be “Try, learn, repeat” until you succeed.

Be patient and persistent. Be a success!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Serve and be joyful…

August 27, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 8/26/24 – Originally sent December 30, 2011.
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”  (Tagore – Sent by Dana.) Tagore was well known as an Indian thinker and poet. I remember being introduced to his work in my college Oriental Philosophy class. He’s worth reading. Our world is a better place when filled with joy. Do your part to help create more of it! 😉  Jack

It is all too easy to become focused upon one’s own needs and ignore the world around you. Yet, we are told in Philippians 2:5-7: “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant”.

The term “servant” has taken on a meaning in our modern society that makes it seem less than attractive, even demeaning. Yet, Jesus would have us become servants. What are we to make of that?

I have posted here many times about helping others and about serving the needs of others. There are many examples of the opportunities that exist in any neighborhood to be of service to others. Most of those opportunities require little other than your time. And before you think it, just throwing some of your money at it is not being of service. It is the commitment of your time and effort that will make the real difference and bring you real joy.

While reveling in one’s own successes may bring some small and temporary joy, that pales in comparison to the joy that one feels when they have successfully been of service to others or even to other living things. Even being there to meet the needs of the members of your own family is a selfless act of service and makesd you feel better than just meeting your own needs.

So, act on those needs of others that you see around you, be of service to them, and behold the joy of service.

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Posted by Norm Werner

How to be successful in life…

August 21, 2024

Today’s graphic contains a powerful message about life and success…

Now, I’m sure that most readers would probably take the immediate leap into thinking about the word success in material terms – money or promotions or achievement of some goal. That is not the point of the saying in the picture, at least not as I see it.

I believe that we are successful when we are at peace with ourselves. That peace may come from having done (or having tried to do) the right things. Our peace may come from being happy with who and what we are. Our peace may come from being satisfied and thankful for what we have and not envious of what we don’t have.  Our peace most certainly comes from learning to love oneself and thus allowing us to love others.

Perhaps the cornerstone of being at peace with ourselves is being at peace with God. Every Sunday at church we “pass the peace”, which  is a way to share what Jesus shared with us. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  (John 14:27)

I also believe that one is successful when they have given birth, raised, and sent out into the world, the next generation. Our children are one big measure of our success. There is perhaps no greater responsibility given to us than to raise our children. There is a special happiness in seeing your children go off on their own and succeed, too.

I believe that we are successful when we help others. There is a very different and much more fulfilling feeling that one gets from having helped others. We do not get that same feeling when we have accomplished something just for ourselves.

Finally, I believe that we are successful when we are remembered by others not for what we owned or how much money we had, but what kind of a person we were. I suspect that among the words like kind and caring and gentle that people might use to describe a successful person will be the word happy.

So, be happy today and being successful will just follow along.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Take a chance and change…

August 15, 2024

I receive inspirational graphics like the one below from my real estate company – Real Estate One.

I couldn’t help myself about the title for this post. Change happens all the time and all around us and much of the time we respond rather passively, just going along to get along. It is possible that those changes that are happening around us may lead to a better life, but I’m not sure that we would realize it.

The real message in the graphic is that you must make changes in your life in order for it to get better. Most of the time those changes reflect some new goal that you have set for yourself. The success of the changes is measured in the level of achievement of those goals.

One can float along through life, like people floating down a river on innertubes, without much control over how fast they go or where they end up. The alternative might seem like being a kayaker on the river and maybe the river might seem rough, like a whitewater rafting river, however, like the kayaker, you have control and can change directions or even manage a spirited ride down the rapids. You are making the choices about t he direction that you are going.

Life is like that, too, and that is what today’s graphic is really saying. Imagine a better life and then take control to change the things that need to change in your life in order to achieve that better life. That involves taking the chances that will result in change.

So, jump off your innertube and grab a paddle. The kayak of change is waiting for you. What new direction will you go in next?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be generous and change a life…

August 12, 2024
The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 8/12/24 –  Originally sent June 2, 2008.
“Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways, it can change someone else’s life forever.” (Margaret Cho) I thought that Margaret was just a joke teller. Now, I see that she has a serious side, too. I guess it’s the same for all of us. We are more than what shows on the outside. Having said that, don’t overlook the point that Margaret is making. Try to do something generous for someone today. It might change their life. 😉  Jack  
 

In Mark 12 Jesus says to “Love thy neighbor as you love yourself”. I think today’s quote in the Jack’s Winning Words blog repost refers to a way to love thy neighbor. Being kind to someone or being generous to someone are both ways to love thy neighbor. It is being kind or generous to stop and open a door for someone. That is a small gesture for sure but one that can change the mood of the person for whom you opened the door. That change of mood forever changes the life of that person, whether you or they know it or not.

Of course, there are bigger and more obvious ways to be kind or generous to others. There are always opportunities to give money to some cause; but, perhaps, the biggest way is to give your time. There are hundreds of volunteer opportunities in every community most of which involve activities that will change people’s lives. Whether it is working in a local food pantry, driving for Meals on Wheels or just volunteering at a local school, hospital or church; the generous gift of you time will make a difference in someone’s life. Perhaps as important, it will make a difference in your life.

If you approach life with the attitude that you are going to do what you can, when you can to help others, you will be fulfilling Jesus’s command to love thy neighbor as you love yourself and you will be changing their life and yours in the act. Be the difference today. Do something generous, no matter how small; and change a life forever.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where will you spend the rest of your life?

July 29, 2024
The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/29/24 – Originally sent March 14, 2018.
“My interest is in the future, because I’m going to be spending the rest of my life there.” (Charles Kettering) This quote was often used in Kettering speeches until he died in 1958. He was one of America’s great inventors, particularly in the auto industry. With his inventor’s mind he foresaw the future as a wonderful place to live. If he was alive today, would he agree? Although there can be fear about the future, we can live a more satisfying life by enjoying today and looking forward to tomorrow. 😉  Jack  

Sadly, too many people get caught up in looking back at their past, usually with regrets. One can easily get sucked into the abyss of “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda” and waste the future away by becoming fixated on what might have been. Instead, focus on what is and what is yet to come. Live in the moment and anticipate the future.

An interesting phenomenon that I associate with getting old is the foreshortening of the future. When one is in their youth or even the early years of adult life, thinking about what one might be doing when they hit 95 seems so far away as to be ridiculous to even consider. Now, at age 80, thinking about being 95 seems close at hand and worthy of some planning.  Being 95 years old is not something that is too far off in the distance to waste time on. It is just around the corner. What do I want to be doing by then does not seem as ridiculous to contemplate and helps to encourage goal setting.

walking man

As for me. I was happy to wake up this morning with a whole day ahead of me. I have things that I need (or want) to get done. I’m also in the midst of things that will take a while and have thoughts about things that I haven’t started yet , but would like to do. I can see the age 95 from here and look forward to experiencing that birthday, but there’s lots to do between now and then.

For me it helps to have a faith that I can tap into from time to time – a faith that says there is life after death. That makes what lies beyond 95 seem a lot less scary. Fear is often the biggest thing that holds us back from living life to the fullest. Once you can overcome the fear of death through faith you can live each day to it’s fullest no matter how many you have.

It really doesn’t matter how old you are. You need to answer the question posed by the title to this post. Where do you want to spent the rest of your life? Will you get stuck in the past or will you continue to look ahead to the future? Your answer to that question will dictate the quality of life that you will have in that future.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Never stop dreaming…

July 23, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 7/15/24 – Originally sent June 27, 2008.

“The world ages us too fast. We grow up too quickly; we stop dreaming too early, and we develop the ability to worry at far too young an age.” (Doug Wecker) I don’t know who Doug is, but I think he’s hit the nail on the head. If we would just dream more and worry less, we’d be in better shape. Sigmund Romberg wrote the song, When I Grow Too Old To Dream. Too old to dream? How sad. Dream on and stay young. 😉  Jack

I recently saved this graphic, which seems to be appropriate to today’s post…

As I get older, I seem to find more meaning in quotes like that from Jack’s Winning Words and from graphics like this one. Perhaps it is because I have recently had to confront and accept that I am now considered to be elderly.

Certainly, I could feel the changes in my body – the lack of stamina and strength that used to be there – but my mind had not changed and I did not feel old in my mind. I had not thought of myself as elderly. That was always someone else. Then, I experienced some health issues that put me in the hospital and left me weak and unable to walk around the block with my dogs without getting winded. Suddenly I was elderly. Yikes!

Episodes like the one that I went through serve to interrupt our “normal” lives and force the issue of setting new goals or having new dreams. New boundaries of what is physically possible must be set and the sustainability of the status quo must be examined. Dreams and goals for the future must be re-directed to take into account the new reality of the present. Often purpose in life gets lost in the changes and must also be reset or at least be re-thought and that’s a good thing.

So here I am – elderly Norm – working to reset my goals and dreams to more closely align with the reality of my age and health. Just as important, I have to factor in my wife’s health and current abilities. We choose not to let happenstance dictate our future. Our new goals and dreams are focused more on improving our quality of life going forward.

No one knows how much time they have left, but everyone can takes steps to make whatever that time is the best that it can be. At this stage in our lives that means simplifying, decluttering and downsizing.  It also means letting go of some old goals or dreams and finding new ones. I’ll let you know how that works out.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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