The key that only you can hold…

June 11, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Nov 12, 2015 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” (Sent by MBO) When John Lennon was 5-yrs-old the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he answered, “Happy!” he was told he didn’t understand the assignment….but I think he did. The pursuit of happiness creates a life well lived, as long as that pursuit includes the happiness of others. 😉  Jack

It seems like too many people surrender the key to their happiness to the wishes of someone else. Perhaps it is locking themselves into a career that their parents wanted for them and not what they truly wanted to do. Maybe it is becoming involved in a relationship (maybe even a marriage) with someone who constantly wants to manipulate you into doing what they want.  It could be that you think that you must always get approval or praise from someone else in order to be happy. Whatever the reason, you have put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Happiness is also one of those terms that seem to have different definitions for different people. Some people spend more time being concerned about being unhappy than thinking about what would make them happy. I think many (if not most) people would have a hard time putting into words what would make them happy. That makes it all the harder to pursue happiness.

So, maybe the key to happiness is to get a better understanding of what happiness is for you and then think about what you have to do to get from where you are to that place of happiness. Once you get that understanding you can begin the pursuit of that happiness. For many people that pursuit of happiness is actually what makes them happy. Whatever applies to you just keep that key to happiness in your own pocket.

I think that one prerequisite to finding happiness is to let go of your day to day worries about things that you can’t control anyway. I have opined here a few times about the little prayer that I use – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” – to let go of those things. Prayer may also help you clarify for yourself what would really make you happy and can help you take back the key to your happiness from wherever it has been. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to find your happiness.

Some people are exuberate and loud in their happiness while others may express their happiness with a quiet smile and perhaps a sigh. What about you? Do you ever think about what would make you happy? Do you know what would make you happy?  Are you pursuing your happiness or have you given the key to that happiness to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take back that key and spend some time pursuing that which would make you happy. What would make you happy? Pray about it and grab that key.

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Posted by Norm Werner

We are all waiting…

June 2, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words –  Originally sent Sept 12, 2022.

“Old people just grow lonesome, Waiting for someone to say, ‘Hello in there… Hello.” (John Prine lyrics) The late John Prine was a magician when it came to writing lyrics. “Hello in There” is a poignant song about lonesome old people who have stories to tell…if only someone would listen. Take a look around you. Is there someone waiting for you to say, “Hello?” It isn’t just old people who are waiting and hoping to hear that greeting. It’s surprising what can happen when we speak first. 😉  Jack

OK, in deference to full disclosure, I must admit that I am officially “old”. I have had trouble accepting the characterization of being elderly; however, at age 81 I must accept that I am considered to be “old” by a majority of the population.

My first thought when I read the quote in this post to Jack’s Winning Words is that we are all waiting for someone to acknowledge us and engage with us. Many of us who grew up in the same era were admonished as children not to speak unless spoken to and many of us allowed that advice to carry over into our adult lives. We are not painfully shy, we’re just waiting for someone else to…Speak first.

Jack’s advice to speak first can help anyone break out of the loneliness or silence that they have been living in. It is especially powerful if you can also use the other person’s name in your greeting. People love to be recognized by their name. Speak first.

It is also important to recognize that engaging with someone is a two-way street. They will want to know something about you and your story, too; so, be ready to share information about yourself. But, remember that the person with whom you are speaking really wants someone to listen to what they have to say. Speak first.

There is a tendency to think that you won’t know what to say after you’ve said, “Hello”. You may wish to have a few “go to” phrases ready as a way to increase the engagement or get to the next steps. You can’t expect someone that you just met to just launch into telling you their life story (nor in many cases would you want them to anyway). Phrases such as, “How’s your day going?” or maybe “Do you live around here?” are good conversation openers.  Speak first.

It is really unsatisfying to just sit there looking at someone and hoping that they will speak to you. It gets worse when they get up and walk away and you are left wondering who they might have been and whether or not you would have enjoyed knowing them. Don’t just sit there waiting… Speak first.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Find healing in your memories…

May 27, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 25, 2009.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” (Seen on a headstone in Ireland) This is a good one to think about while Memorial Day is still fresh in our minds. We all have our memories that can never be taken away from us, don’t we? 😉 Jack

The sharp pain of the loss of a loved one may fade into a constant ache but it never completely goes away. What slowly replaces it is the warmth of our fond memories of that person. The tears of the loss are replaced by the smiles of the memories. It is in those memories and the memories of others who knew them that the departed live on.

Our memories of loved ones help us build a wall to keep out the pain while creating a calming and pleasant garden containing the love that we had for them. Start building that wall by spending time remembering the good times that you had together, the great adventures that you shared or the moments of triumph that you experienced together. Rethink about those times over several days and the wall will build. You will have pleasant and fond memories of them instead of the pain of their loss. That is what you want to keep in your heart.

Many times, the key to creating or unlocking that garden is prayer. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to allow you to remember the good and to shove any bad memories to the other side of the wall. Prayer allows the loved that you had for that person to overcome the grief of their loss. Prayer reinforces the hope and belief that you will be together again for eternity.

If you do this for all of the loved ones that are no longer here, you will find that quiet times that once might have been filled with sadness or loneliness are now spent in a garden filled with fond memories of pleasant times. No one can steal that away from you. It’s your garden that you build out of your loving memories.  Go there to remember and heal.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Do it now…

May 19, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 19, 2014.

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” (Seneca) The problem of procrastination is not new. Seneca wrote about it 2000 years ago. Things need doing NOW; you’re not going to live forever. Many of us are motivated by “dead-lines.” A doctor said, “I can help you, but none of us is going to live forever…not me, not you.” Are there things that need to be done, relationships that need fixing? Life is speeding by. 😉  Jack

It is easy for procrastination to become a way of life. One can get used to not making decisions and living with the consequences. I’ll bet you know someone like that, or maybe you are that someone and you know it. Is life speeding by you?

Fixin’ to. I have developed a habit of procrastination that I call “Fixin’ to”. When faced with a big or complex job, I often tell my wife (and myself) that I’m “fixin’ to get to it”. I tell her (and myself) that I need a little more time for planning and thinking about it, before I get started. In reality, during that “fixin’ to” time, I often let my imagination run wild exploring all of the things that could go wrong. Of course, that further delays the actual work.

As I’ve often opined here, the same mind that can conjure up all of the disasters that might befall you can also deal with problems that do come up by inventing solutions on the fly. So, rather than spend your time “fixin to”, it is better to just do it and focus on the work and problem solutions that are needed.

If you have that feeling that life is just speeding by, maybe it is because you are spending to much “fixin to” time and not enough doing it time. Albert Einstein postulated that time is relative and that if you went fast enough it will even go in reverse. Perhaps if you just jump in and match the pace of life by not procrastinating you will find that it is not speeding you by. You’ll find more joy in life if you keep up with the pace of life.

Just do it now. The past is not worth reliving and the future is something that you really can’t change, no matter how much you worry about it. Live in the moment. Experience life. Solve problems as you go. Enjoy life. Do it now!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Just don’t accept it…

May 12, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 29, 2009.

“If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns the gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks.” (Steve Pavlina) This quote caused me to do a double-take. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Pavlina is a writer and speaker who helps people motivate themselves to improve their lives. To have the right attitude toward people is part of that process. There’s times to engage, and times to ignore. 😉 Jack

Insults and verbal attacks are generally expected to provoke a reaction. I’ve noticed that nothing blunts such and attack and frustrates the attacker as much as the attack being ignored. Acknowledgement of any sort is a form of engagement that just encourages the attacker to continue. Just don’t accept it…

A little Zen saying that I saw recently seems to apply to this topic – “Negative thoughts only have the power over me that I allow them to have”. The same applies to insults and verbal attacks. They only have power over you if you allow them to. Ignoring them takes away that power. Just don’t accept it…

Sometimes it is impossible to completely ignore a verbal assault. In that case a reply such as “It is unfortunate that you feel that way” serves to dismiss their attack and shifts the ownership back to them. Just don’t accept it…

If the person making the remarks is someone that you must continue to interact with in the future and ignoring the remarks does not seem like a solution, then perhaps suggest that you would like to discuss it further, once both of you have had time to cool down and think things over. Just don’t accept it…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you stronger than your excuses?

May 7, 2025

I saw this little Zen saying on one of the word games that I play on my phone – “I am stronger than my excuses.”

That little saying resonated with me because I realized that often I am not stronger than the excuses that I come up with and that results in procrastination or paralysis. You can substitute “imagined negative outcomes” for excuses, if that makes more sense to you.

Humans are blessed with great intellectual abilities (as compared to other species) and imagination, out of which comes great ideas and inventions. But, with that ability to think and imagine also comes the liability of imagining all of the possible negative outcomes of any situation – those become the excuses for doing nothing.

One of the traits that often define some of the greatest thinkers and inventors in history is the willingness to try and fail at something and then try again and again. Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine how many great inventions we would not have had if Edison had let the fear of failure stop him from trying. He was stronger than his excuses.

It is in substituting the word “fears” for the word “excuses” that the saying reaches its full potential. Excuses are just rationalizations for our inability to overcome our fears. Those fears cause us to stop and maybe never venture a step further. We may even have some understanding that as George Addair said, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” Yet, many just make excuses for not moving forward and trying to get to that “other side”.

Are you stronger than your fears (excuses)? What fears have you let stop you? Are you really happy with the excuses that you’ve created? What can you do about that?

Perhaps a start to overcoming the fear that paralyzes you is found in this quote – “Fear is only as powerful as the attention you give it.” ― Glody Kikonga

Think about the news stories that you see from time to time about someone rescuing an injured driver from a burning car. Often when they are interviewed later someone will ask the hero of the story, “Weren’t you afraid of getting burned or of the car exploding?” Often the answer will be something like, “I didn’t think about it, I just saw the need and acted.” The hero didn’t stop to give those fears any attention. Action overcomes fear by pushing it aside and focusing your mind upon the tasks at hand.

man jumping off cliff

So, maybe the key to being stronger than your excuses (fears) is to jump into action, rather than sitting there thinking about all of the ways that you could fail. Once you are in motion, taking actions, you will find that your amazing mind refocuses upon problem solving, rather than excuse creation. You may initially fail, but you will learn from that failure and setting out on another try will be that much easier.

Allow yourself to try and fail and try again. You are stronger than your excuses, so let yourself do whatever it is that you have been making excuses for not doing.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you proud of who you are…

May 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 5, 2022.

“I’m proud of who I am.” (Rico Nasty) Today is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo, which translates as May the 5th. Surprisingly, it’s a bigger holiday in the USA than in Mexico. It’s a day when people of Mexican heritage show their pride in their roots, and remember that on May 5, 1862 the Mexican army defeated France in a battle for independence. Many of us are proud of our heritage. The Ukrainians come to mind. In spite of current divisions in our country, I’m still singing, “I’m proud to be an American.” How about you? 😉  Jack

 OK, so I’m a day late with this post. I had to think a while about what to write on the theme that Jack used in his post. I’m pretty sure that Jack would still say the same thing about being proud to be an American, even as he may have disagreed with most of the things that the current administration is doing. Are you proud of who you are?

The more important message in Rico Nasty’s quote if to be proud of who you are. Proud of the person you’ve become and the values and morals that you hold too. That pride can be based upon the honesty with which you conduct yourself. You can easily tell if that is true at the end of each day if you have conducted yourself in such a manner that you end the day without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Are you proud of who you are?

We use a prayer at my church asking for forgiveness for “things which you have do and things left undone”. I most often find that last part to be the toughest and in need of the most forgiveness. Many of us leave things undone that we know we should do – help that we do not render when presented with the chance or maybe forgiveness not extended to someone who has wronged us.  Are you proud of who you are?

In today’s political environment what comes to mind immediately are the words of Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.” There are many ways to express your disagreement with things that are happening. I have Dr. King’s quote on a lawn sign that I display at times like this. It’s not marching in protest, but it is something and it gives me a small feeling of pride at the end of the day. Are you proud of who you are?

Yesterday I saw a little Zen message in a word game that I play on my phone – “Be happy with what you have, not envious of what others have.” I think that ability to be happy with your life and what you have or have accomplished and not envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others is a key to being proud of who you are. Many just don’t spend enough time being thankful for and taking pride in what they have and what they done – perhaps a successful marriage, maybe raising great children, or being happy and successful with your work.  Are you proud of who you are?

In the end, it will all come down to that moment of judgement between you and God and it will be God asking that question about your life – Are you proud of who you were?  The good news is that if you are reading this post, you still have time to make changes in your life so that you can answer that question with a smile. Until that time at the end of each day, look back and ask yourself – Are you proud of who you are?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the important things…

April 28, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 30, 2021
“You’ll never reach your destination if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks at you.” (Winston Churchill) There’s lots of “barking” going on these days. It reminds me of the carnival pitchmen (barkers) who’d try to get our attention. A friend of mine would say, “Jack, remember to make the main thing the main thing.” In other words, keep your focus on the important events, not the sideshow. I try to keep that in mind as I watch the news and read the ads. Churchill was a great leader, because he was able to focus. It makes for a more peaceful life too. 😉 Jack


As always, Jack’s words are resonant today as they were back in 2021. There may be different dogs barking today, but they are still only the sideshow. One of the traits of great leaders that Jack pointed out is the ability to identify and focus on the things that are really important in our lives.


For leaders of people or nations, the things that are important tend to have wide-ranging consequences that impact all, whether they be wars or economic trends or climate change. For us as individuals the important things most often involve interpersonal relationships – things that impact our wives, our children, our family or our friends.


We focus on providing for those that we love, so we work at jobs to earn the money to provide. For some the focus shifts from the reason that we work to the work itself, and career advancement becomes the most important thing for them. Becoming too focused upon one’s career is one of the main reasons that marriages fail, and families break up. There is a saying in business that “it’s lonely at the top”. Perhaps that is because so many interpersonal relationships were sacrificed to get there.


Another thing that sometimes get shoved down (sometimes completely off) the list of important things in our lives is our faith. Through much of the last half of the twentieth century and the first quarter of the 21st century church attendance has been declining. There are many reasons, but one cannot help but see the shift of attention away from this important matter and onto things that are just sideshows – the so-called “blue laws” that kept most stores closed on Sundays gave way to 24 hours a day seven days of the week sales and shopping, sports events or practices for children and adults became the focus for Sunday mornings, and we became more used to thinking of Sunday as a day to have fun than a day to worship.


So, maybe it is time to step back and re-look at what you have been focusing upon. What is really important in your life? Maybe you’ll discover that it is not what but who is important in your life. You will probably be able to come up with a short list of people whom you consider to be important. The longer you think about that and the more you re-arrange the list in order of importance the more God will advance up the list, until He takes His place at the top of the list.


Focus on the important things. If you make it back to that place where God is the most important thing in your life a strange thing happens – you stop hearing the barking dogs of life’s distractions. The fears and anxieties about things over which you have no real control anyway will melt away. As Jack puts it at the end of his remarks, it makes for a peaceful life.

Focus upon the important things!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Stop staring at your shoes…

April 21, 2025
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 20, 2021
“Always ask yourself what will happen if I say nothing.” (Kamand Kojouri) Each of us has probably been in a situation where we should have kept our mouth shut, or conversely, should have spoken up…but remained silent. One of my favorite Bible passages is Ecclesiastes 3. I like this interpretation: “There’s a time for everything. There’s a time to speak up…and a time to shut up.” One of my WW II heroes is Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German pastor who spoke out against Hitler and lost his life because of it. When something is right or wrong, it’s our responsibility to speak up or to be complicit. Bonhoeffer is worth emulating. 😉 Jack


The news shows this weekend had stories about the mass protests that occurred over the weekend in various locations around the country. The video accompanying the stores showed hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people out on the streets protesting the actions of the current administration on a variety of issues, all of which boiled down to doing things that are just wrong.


Not everyone is comfortable taking up a sign and joining the protests on the streets and a part of that uncomfortable feeling is the realization that saying nothing against wrongs that need to be righted is a form of compliance or agreement with those wrongs. It’s not that they don’t agree that it is wrong, it mainly is that they fear being identified and perhaps retaliated against for expressing those feelings.
It is that fear of retaliation that the administration is promoting and counting on to keep people inline – especially the people in their own political party. Some in the ruling party have even come out and stated that they fear retaliation if they take a stand in line with their own conscious or convictions. How sad for America.


Sad also is the timid response and lack of leadership of the opposition party. As Jack pointed out, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was willing to risk his life to speak out against the atrocities for the Nazi regime. Many, if not most, of our current day politicians are not willing to risk their political lives (careers) to speak out against what they know is wrong. Instead, they stare down at their shoes in hopes that they can wait this nightmare out.


Politicians on both sides are being pummeled in town hall meetings when they go back home, mainly for their cowardice. The importance of the demonstrations in those town hall meetings and in the streets cannot be overstated. It is only through creating greater fear in the politicians about being voted out of office that these political cowards will be forced to take action to correct what is happening. They must fear the anger of the voters more than they fear retaliation from the administration for doing what is right.


So, ask yourself the question that Kamand Kojouri posed – “What will happen if I say nothing?” The answer to Kojouri’s question is that nothing will change unless you say something. Jack would be out there if he were here today. Stop staring at your shoes and join the protest in support of doing the right things.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Chose to do the right thing…it matters.

April 16, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 6, 2016.
“The only alternative to co-existence is co-destruction.” (Nehru) There’s been some scary talk lately about the use of nuclear weapons. This world is better served by leaders who seek ways to co-exist with diversity than to work toward eradicating any way but “our” way. In any relationship there has to be give and take (bargaining) to make it work. The healthiest families have learned this. Even God bargains: “If you will be my people, I will be your God.” 😉 Jack


I suspect Jack would be appalled by today’s political environment in the United States. I know that if he were still alive he would not be silent about his displeasure with and opposition to the things happening here in America and around the world in places like Ukraine.


I am reminded of the words of Martin Luther King when he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”. There are lots of things that matter under attack right now. Many politicians (usually of a specific party) have chosen to remain silent about what is happening. Not so, obviously, for members of the other political party.


A key thing to watch and understand is why these politicians are remaining silent (or in some cases even defending the wrongs that they see happening). Just like children, they are succumbing to bullying. They are afraid, and in that fear their cowardice and sense of self-preservation overcomes their basic sense of right and wrong. Indeed, some have even convinced themselves that what they see happening is right and good.


Let me stop here and state that I do not disagree that there are many things that need to be fixed or corrected. The issue for me and I suspect many others is the approach that is being taken to solving those problems. That concern about the approach is also what seems to be driving so many of the judicial restraining orders and temporary halts to actions being taken to solve the problems.


Can federal employees be fired or laid off? Certainly, just not in the capricious ways that are currently being employed. Can illegal immigrants be deported? Of course, just not without some level of due process ,as we are currently seeing. Can people disagree with what is happening and voice that disagreement, whether in peaceful protest or in news articles or broadcasts. Yes, that is a fundamental right in the Constitution.


So here we are. People are being rounded up, shipped off to holding facilities thousands of miles from their family and friend or put on planes and flown to foreign prisons all without due process. Major decisions that should be considered, debated and voted upon by our elected representatives are now made by decree. And the restructuring of the federal bureaucracy, which certainly can be defended as being justified and long overdue, continues at a chaotic and destructive pace with no thought or plan in evidence.


While the current politicians in power appear to have chosen the co-destruction option, there is still hope that sanity and some latent sense of right and wrong will prevail. However, we cannot just sit on the sidelines and hope for the best. We must not be silent about things that matter. It is up to each of us and all of us to resist what we know is wrong, even in the face of the bullying that we know will come as a result. What form that resistance takes is also up to each of us. What will you do? It matters.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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