Life’s not a carnival…

February 20, 2013

“If everything’s a carnival, there’s no carnival left.” (Victor Hugo), from the Jack’s Winning Words blog. In Jack’s post he explains that Hugo was using the word carnival within the context of the times, which referred to the heavy and lady in carnivale costumeoften decadent celebrations right before Lent – sort of like what takes place in New Orleans and Rio. I’m sure that Fat Tuesday is often followed by Hangover Wednesday in both places.

In the broader context I suppose that if life just one big party to you then there’s nothing special about going to a party. Vacations, for instance, wouldn’t seem so special if we all lived in the sunny, tropical places that we love to visit. Graduations are only special because of the work that it takes to get to that day. Special events and special days in our lives are special because they are out of the ordinary, everyday experiences.

We hear occasionally of someone’s life being a “whirlwind”, which may be another way to say a carnival; but, not necessarily in a good way. Usually we hear about someone’s whirlwind lifestyle after something has happened to cut their life short. It is then that we look back on what looked at the time to be such a wonderful life and take pity on the poor soul that was trapped in that whirlwind. How often have we learned after they were gone at relatively young ages how miserable some of the biggest stars of the sports and entertainment world really were? They looked so happy while accepting the accolades or prancing down the red carpets of their whirlwind lives.

So, be happy that your life’s not a carnival, because that makes finally getting to the carnival all the more fun.

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What we have here is a failure to communicate…

February 13, 2013

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw.

Shaw was prescient and right on the mark as it applies to modern “communications”, especially email and texting. We seem to harbor the illusion that typing something out in an email or text message and hitting the Send key constitutes communicating. The reliance on those forms of attempted communication, especially in the real estate world, can have unintended and sometime disastrous consequences.

comunicatingOne unintended consequence of using electronic means of communications is the fact that words may be interpreted differently than intended and the reader may infer a completely different tone or voice to the words than was intended. How many times have you had to say “that’s not what I meant by that?” My wife also uses the phrase, “you know what I meant.” Well, the fact is that the reader (or listener) doesn’t know what you meant; they just read or listen to the words and apply the meanings to them that they have stored through their education or experiences.

At least if one is listening, rather than reading, one can pick up on visual and audible cues. My wife always knows when I’m being sarcastic in a remark; however, a reader might not pick up on that or might infer sarcasm where none was intended.

I think one of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to use written communications is not taking the time to completely explain something. We sometimes take mental shortcuts and put them in written communications, assuming that the reader will be able to fill in the blanks or “read between the lines.” That seldom happens exactly the way we intended. Spaces between the lines are oft times filled in with thing we did not mean to say or did not mean for the reader to infer.

In my real estate business I do a lot of negotiations back and forth on deals via emails. I alsocomputer to computer use the phone, but tend to follow up each conversation with an email to summarize what I think we just talked about or agreed to on a phone call. I like to have that email audit trail of what happened in the course of a deal. It is not unusual to have to go back and forth a few times on every issue to get to the point where both sides agree to what was agreed upon.  The same is true with text messages, which can become even more arcane with the use of the special language sometimes used in texting.

So, if you occasionally (or more than occasionally) catch yourself saying or typing in “what I meant was”, perhaps you need to step back and examine your approach to communicating. Maybe your communication is an illusion and the main person that you’re fooling is yourself. The need to be more precise in your choice of words and use of the language is not just a pedagogic exercise; it is a requirement if you wish to be understood – if you wish to really communicate.

My advice is to slow down and think about what it is you are trying to say, either in speech or in writing. You need to think about it from the perspective of the listener/reader and ask yourself, “Is what I’m saying/writing clear enough and complete enough to be understood in the way I intend it to be taken?” After all, if you can’t understand it, once you listen to it/read it; how do you expect anyone else to pull the meaning that you intended out of what you just communicated? Understand? Good, then we’ve communicated.

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Great Mobile Apps for House Hunters…

January 31, 2013

If you are a house hunter and have an iPhone you really should have this app. It’s a free mobile app from Real Estate One that is GPS enabled and map based, and shows you all of the houses that are for sale in the immediate area around your current location. In fact you can expand the search area using the normal iPhone touch motions that you use to zoom in or out. You can also pan around the area to change from your current location to anywhere else. It’s fun to use and quite informative.

The app shows you a little real estate sign with the price of the listing on it. If you touch the sign it give you more information, such as the number of bedrooms and baths and square footage.  You can then choose to expand the information that is available about the house, including its listing picture and listing information. Going even deeper there is information available about the taxes, the room sizes and more – everything that you could get sitting at a PC and signed on the Multi-list service. Remember however that this app is for MIchigan-based listings only, since Real Estate One is a Michigan-only company.

You can get this app at https://itunes.apple.com/app/real-estate-one/id322434170?mt=8 or you can go to my mobile web site www.movetomilford.com on your iPhone and download it from the home page choice there. If you like to be aware of things while you’re on the go, this is a must have app. If you don’t have an iPhone Real Estate One also has an Android version available at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.vp.android.apps.search.reo&feature=search_result    For phones that don’t support either the iPhone or Android versions there is mobile version of Real Estate One’s standard criteria-based web search that will within a browser on most smartphone. It is at www.mihome.mobi/ That app is also accessible from my Move to Milford mobile web site.

Below is a video that was created by Scott Gaffen of REal Estate One and appeared on his blog, Scott’s Tech Tips about these apps.

 

 

As always, if you need help with your search or you want to go see one of the houses that you’ve found using these apps and you’re not already signed up with another agent, give me a call – 248-763-2497 – and I’ll set up an appointment. I won’t force you into signing some Exclusive Agent agreement with me; I use an agreement that is only for the homes that I show you and allow you the freedom to use other agents if you choose to see other houses. Of course, I hope that you’ll find my service to be such that you won’t want to use other agents; but at least you’re not locked in.

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January 26, 2013

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Dance with her while you can…

January 18, 2013

I posted the announcement that I was sent by the Community Ed & Recreation folks abouth the Daddy-Daughter dance and the Mommy-Son dance that is taking place at the same time (see below) on my Move To Milford Web site calendar of Upcoming Community Events.

One can’t post something like that without pausing to allow memories of our children to sweep over us. I don’t recall having the opportunity to take my daughter to a Daddy-Daughter dance when she was little. I do recall the Father of the bride dance with her at her wedding. Sadly that is sometimes the only time that many fathers get (or take) to dance with their daughters; and by then your thoughts are turning to “Where did the time go?” and “When did she grow up?” and maybe “Where was I while all of that was happening.”

So my advice, for what it’s worth, is that you dance with your daughter(s) while you can. Worry about making an extra buck tomorrow and take the opportunities like this one to take your little princess to a dance. Before too long she’ll find her Prince Charming and you’ll be waiting for your last dance with her, at the wedding.

Feb 16 – Daddy-Daughter Dance and Mother-Son Dance – 7 – 9 pm – sponsored by Huron    Valley Recreation & Community Education. The Daddy-Daughter dance will be at Milford    High School and the Mother-Son Dance at Heritage Elementary School. $25 per couple    for residents, $35 per couple for non residents. $10 for each additional daughter.    Click here to see the registration form for both dance

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Don’t get stuck in Turboparalysis

January 14, 2013

This post on the Jack’s Winning Word Blog was so good I had to re-blog the whole thing.

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“Sometimes it’s just easier to sit around spinning your wheels…but you never get anywhere.”  (Susan Gale)  I came across a new word recently…Turboparalysis!  It’s defined as furious motion, without movement in any direction.  It has happened with my car in a snowdrift.  It can happen with us, too.  We keep doing the same thing over and over with no result.  Maybe we need a shove to begin moving forward.    😉  Jack

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I particularly like Jack’s comments on Turboparalysis. That so accurately describes the state that I get into every now and then. There are just so many things to do in real estate, each of them vying for one’s time, that it is easy to busyfall into the Turboparalysis trap. That tends to happen when I try to multitask and find that I’m flailing away, doing bits of many things at once and really accomplishing very little. I’m spinning my wheels. Does that ever happen to you?

I guess the solution is to slow down, take a deep breath and prioritize what needs to be done and what is reasonable to get done and then set out at the tasks at hand – one task at a time. Maybe the “shove” that Jack refers to that we all need could come from a coach or other person that you can feel obligated to report to and to be honest with.That’s the basis for the whole “life coach” business, giving people those littel shoves to get them going.

No matter how you do it, just do it. Don’t sit there spinning your wheels.

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It’s not new…we just forgot…again!

December 28, 2012

“There’s a view in this country that everybody’s going through what they’re going through for the first time.” (Cokie Roberts) from the Jack’s Winning Words blog. That saying would go well side-by-side with the saying by George Santayana – “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

George Santyana was a Spanish philosopher, essayist, poet and novelist who lived in the late 19th and early 20th Centuries. His famous saying has been paraphrased and perverted many times and has lots of variations in use today. Essentially, Cokie’s remark is built upon the premise of that saying.

Were George around today, another of his sayings would be a perfect fit for the political fanaticism that we are witnessing in Washington – “Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.” I think that both sides have lapsed into dogmatic fanaticism that has caused almost complete paralysis. Indeed members of both parties have forgotten their aim, which is to serve the people, and have instead taken up the banners of the most radical elements of their constituency and locked themselves into an ideological battle in which there are no winners.

So as we approach the Fiscal Cliff at the end of the year, another saying of George Santyana might serve well if perverted a bit. George said, “When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their reasons are always different.”  If you substitute Republicans and Democrats for the men and women in that saying it make perfect sense as we watch the “negotiations” that are going on in Washington. Both sides agree that they would prefer to avoid taking America over the cliff, but for completely different reasons and with different approached to a solution.

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Marching blindly towards the edge…

December 26, 2012

“Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about reform.” (Susan B. Anthony) from a recent Jack’s Winning Words blog. Had Susan B. changed the word “social” in her saying to “political”, she would have nailed the current stalemate in Washington over the so-called “Fiscal Cliff.” The politicians there, on both sides of the aisle are busy posturing to their extremist bases, rather than worrying about the good of the country. The country desperately needs real reform – reform of the tax code and reform of the entitlement programs – yet there is no political will in Washington to tackle either, lest the extremist bases become enraged.

As usual, it’s all about money. Politicians these days are essentially always running for office, always fund raising and always trying to keep their donors happy. The people whose interests they supposedly represent – their constituents back home – probably rank down about 4th or 5th on their list of concerns and things that get their attention. I’m relatively sure that the founding fathers never imagined this scenario when they started the country and created the political process of elections.

I must admit that I’ve perhaps been a bit too hard in my criticism of Speaker Boehner lately. Apparently it won’t be his recession after all, since he doesn’t have any real control over his party members. It will be the called the Politicians Recession in homage to the intransigent politicians on both sides who refuse to move towards compromise and reform. What sounds more like a WWF tag team match – The Flaming Liberals vs. the Butt-headed Tea Partiers – we are all witness to one of the greatest disservices to the country ever – allowing the country to fall off the Fiscal Cliff. It’s too bad that we can stand at the edge and throw the politicians over the cliff instead.

Actually we have a few more days of high drama ahead. Watch for more plot twists and turns in the coming week than are normally seen on a day-time soap opera. It would make for wonderful viewing on nightly TV, if it weren’t such a real crisis. At least if it were a TV reality show, maybe we’d all be allowed to vote the bums off the show. As it is, we’re stuck with these clowns. Where’s the “You’re outa here” buzzer when we need it.

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Don’t confuse values with dogma…

December 19, 2012

“Lasting change is a series of compromises, and compromise is all right, as long as your values don’t change.” (Jane Goodall)

As we continue our journey towards the so-called Fiscal Cliff this saying, which of course I found on the Jack’s Winning Words blog seemed really apropos. When I thought about it and reflected on the sound bites that we get to see every night on the news – some from President Obama and some from Speaker Boehner – it occurred to me that what we are seeing much of the time is not a display of true underlying values, but rather a stubborn defense of dogma from both sides.

Websters defines dogma thusly –

a: something held as an established opinion; especially: a definite authoritative  tenet

b: a code of such tenets <pedagogical dogma>

c: a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds

So then what is a tenet? It is defined thusly –
a principle, belief, or doctrine generally held to be true; especially: one held in common by members of an organization, movement, or profession
So, basically it can be boiled down to this – it’s true because we say it’s true.
There is certainly dogma at work in Washington on the Fiscal Cliff debate right now, on both sides of the aisle in Congress and between Congress and the President. What might have started out as basic underlying or core values of both parties has in recent years hardened into dogma that neither party can now escape in the spirit of compromise; and compromise is certainly what is needed right now.
Every decision that must be made in Washington is now viewed as a political decision, with an eye towards the next election. Politicians, especially those in the House, with only a two year term, are essentially always campaigning, always fund raising and always paying off big supporters with votes in support of their desires.  Senators seem to have a bit more leeway, but they too are always mindful of the TV cameras and “how this will play back home.”
Very few of our legislators seem to be considering the good of the country or their constituents, just what their “backers” want. The backers are so tight with the legistators that it’s been widely reported in the news that they supply the wording  that the so-called law-makers then introduce into law. That leaves them more time to go on camera to defend the dogma of their party and play to the audiences back home.
So now the dogma on one side says that people are rich when they make more than $400,000 a year and the other side says, no; they’re not rich until they make $1,000,000 a year. All of this plays out on TV everynight to an America in which many people consider those to be well off who don’t need Food Stamps to survive. How did our core values as a nation get so perverted into dogma? I’d call the beliefs driving the debate in Washington right now drivel rather than even dogma.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Compassion 2012 style…

December 10, 2012

As reported on the CNN Money site – Mortgage giants, Freddie Mac (FMCC, Fortune 500) and Fannie Mae (FNMA, Fortune 500), announced today that they will suspend all bank repossessions beginning December 17 and December 19, respectively, and will not resume the evictions until January 2, 2013. “The holidays are a chance to be with loved ones and we want to relieve some stress at this time of year,” said Terry Edwards, Executive Vice President of Credit Portfolio Management, Fannie Mae.

So, in addition to a New Year’s Day hang over you can pack up and get out. Somehow this seems less genuine that I’m sure that the Freddie and Fannie folks meant it to sound. I guess there was not good day on which to start evicting people again. Soon they’ll be able to throw them out and over the cliff, too. And you thought it was the Grinch that stole Christmas. Move over Grinch, Aunt Fannie and Uncle Freddie are here with a Christmas tease.

It’s too bad that the “Let Them Fail” crowd has only been successful with letting individual homeowners fail and not the big banks and shadow-banking institutions that helped cause this mess. Now, in my area, the debate is whether to let the City of Detroit fail and go into bankruptcy. To add to the drama, the City Council is fighting a rear guard action to prevent the state from rescuing the City; so, I guess they’ve joined the “Let Them Fail”crowd, too.

It’s Day 22 until the Boehner Recession. It’s too bad that Rodney Dangerfield isn’t with us anymore. He could have reprised one of his movie roles and done his famous triple-Lindy dive off the Fiscal Cliff before hitting the bottom of the empty pool below.

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