“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.” (John Sinclair) – as seen recently on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.
I really like that little saying because it is such an appropriate way to think about the failures and setbacks in our lives. The analogy holds up to a good deal of thought, too. Usually the event that causes a bruise involves something that causes pain first – a bump or a fall or running into something. It hurts at that instance and then your body may turn the site of the bump it into a bruise. The bruise still hurts, if you poke at it; but over time it heals and goes away. Of course, if the incident was traumatic enough to have broken or cut the skin, you may also end up with a scar instead of just a bruise. Scars are more like tattoos: they stay with you for a long time, but they, too, fade away over time. Some failures in life may leave scars, too.
Remember when you were little and fell off your bike or ran into the door while trying to
run away playing tag. It hurt; but, your mom kissed it and told you it was just a boo-boo and that you’d be OK – you’d live. Life’s failure are much the same, only mom isn’t there anymore. If you’re lucky you have a life partner who can kiss you and tell you that it’s just a boo-boo and that you’ll live. That failure is just a bruise (primarily to your ego) it’s not a tattoo. It may take a while for the bruise to heal and for you to forget about it, but it will heal eventually and you will forget and move on with life.
There are things that can tattoo you for life and I suppose that they might be called failures; although most of them are called crimes. Having a criminal record, especially for the more heinous crimes definitely act like tattoos on those who commitment. The record follows them around and some crimes involving sex or children or both result in those tattoos being registered in databases that all in the public can see. The exceptions usually involve juvenile offenders whose youthful criminal records are expunged when they turn 21. It’s sort of like having that tattoo removed through laser surgery.
Other things that we experience may causes bruises in our lives. The loss of a loved one,
rejection by someone that we hoped would be a loved one, loss of a job, divorce and more can all cause bruises. All of those bruises heal over time, though some require quite a bit longer than others.
There is a corollary saying that also rings true – “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” You may not think that the healing of that latest life bruise will make you stronger; but, you will learn something from it, you will know better the next time and you may be able to avoid getting bruised again by the same thing or person. If you develop the ability to look at life’s failures and setbacks as temporary bruises, it will make life much less stressful or depressing when you have those failures.
If you don’t have a loved one to turn to for a kiss and the reassurance that everything will be OK – that you’ll live; turn to the One who is always there for every boo-boo in life, the One who will never judge you or abandon you; the One to whom you can and will turn to even in the final moment of your life – embrace God and let Him kiss your boo-boo and make it better. In fact, even if your mom is still there, or you do have a loved one that you share your life with; taking your boo-boos and bruises to God in prayer will speed the healing. As you get older you may get a bit cynical about the medicinal impact of mom’s kisses, but you should never lose faith in the healing power of God.
If you must get a tattoo, get a small cross tattooed somewhere where you can look at it when yo need to. Then, in those times when something has just happened that you know is going to leave a bruise
or maybe even a scar; you can look at that tattoo and say out loud, “this is the only thing that is permanent in my life.” That will start the healing process. If you really don’t want a tattoo, get one of those bracelets that have WWJD engraved or printed on them and wear that; because what Jesus would do is kiss your boo-boo and make it better.
It’s just a boo-boo: you’ll live and you’ll be stronger for it. Have a great day.
Posted by Norm Werner
constitutional amendment to the Michigan Constitution that would protect the GLBT community from discrimination. Patterson is a well-known Republican conservative, but has also recognized the ugliness and hate that comes with discrimination. He is basically saying – respect other people’s way of living.
general. Our modern day pharisees are the moralizing, so-called Christian evangelicals who seem to spend more time criticizing the lives of others than putting their own lives in order. Like the high priests and pharisees of old, these modern day pharisees are sure that they occupy the moral high-ground and that their way is the only right way to live. And like those hypocrites of old, they try to take actions to correct or discriminate against those who choose to live differently. In modern times this holier-than-thou group uses political power to try to legitimize their discrimination through laws (or lack of laws) aimed at those who are “different.” They wrap themselves in a false morality that does not – respect other people’s way of living.
people who were immigrants escaping religious persecution due to the fact they the religion that they practiced at the time was different from the prevailing religion in England and Europe. It is convenient also to forget about the threat that their immigration to America posed to the Native Americans who were already here. They essentially took the country from those who owned it at the time. Imagine if the Native Americans had enacted a law stopping the flow of these refugees from religious persecution from entering America because they posed a threat. Maybe that would have solved everything. The early settlers obviously did not – respect other people’s way of living.
us in return, no matter what lifestyle they choose to live. In the end, wouldn’t that make the whole world a better place in which to live? It would, because it would be a place in which we all would – respect other people’s way of living
responsibility, much less worrying about how others live. We need to focus less on others and more on doing the right things ourselves to make sure that we aren’t becoming modern day pharisees and discriminating against those with lives that are different from ours. So, as we begin a new week maybe, before we leave the house today we can resolve to – respect other people’s way of living.
wedding day, the birth of our children, maybe a big job promotion or the day we closed on our first house; but it is often the little, private moments that result in the most enjoyable and lasting memories. I may be a tender moment between husband and wife or maybe a quiet time of love shared with a child. It is perhaps that final little squeeze of the hand with a loved one right before they pass away or the hug that says I need you and I trust you from an injured loved one.
Maybe that does not have to be. Perhaps, if we take the time to think about the little things in our lives that happen every day, we can revel in the moment. We can go to the ball game or the dance, instead of working those extra hours. We can pause to say, “I love you” every night, instead of taking our partners for granted. We can heighten our awareness of the little things (to us) that mean so much to others and make the effort to participate in and celebrate those moments.
knocking and trying to help me, but I won’t let Him in. The free will (it might also be called ego) that God gave mankind can also act as a door to keep Him out when we most need him. We toil through life trying to solve things ourselves, letting our egos get in the way; rather than letting Him take our burdens and help.
ve all problems without help. I remember the “big boys don’t cry” admonishments as a child and the “shake it off” advice for almost any hurt while growing up and the “suck it up” guidance for dealing with pain or disappointments. I suspect that athletics in general contribute greatly to that self-image of being able to live with pain.
seriously grew out of the macho “shake it off” creed of athletics. So, I wonder if female athletes, especially those engaged in contact sports (which include soccer) develop a more insular approach to life and religion because of the stoicism required for those sports. Do they hear God knockin’ but they won’t let Him in? I suspect that it is not the case, as it is with men.
probably have a hard time “turning off” our minds so that we can sleep at night, rather than tossing and turning all night wrestling with some problem or perhaps our fears about some upcoming event. It’s hard not to think about things that have happened and how we should react to them or not to run over and over all of the worst case scenarios that we can imagine about some upcoming event.
an upcoming event. While we are fully awake, most of us have the discipline to focus our minds on the tasks at hand in some organized way. It is when we lie down to sleep that we may find that given nothing else to occupy it our mind starts to run wild and in many directions at once (creating that “ruffled mind” that Charlotte Bronte referred to).
mentally fight it sometimes and I may have to repeat that prayer several times before I really can let go and trust that everything will be OK if I just put things in God’s hands.
“As I walked out the door to my freedom I knew if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind that I would still be in prison.” (Nelson Mandela), as seen on the
we are carrying this heavy sac of stuff around. The weight of anger, hatred, prejudices and bitterness weighs us down and pulls down the corners of our mouths, causing us to look pained, angry or unpleasant at the least. The furrowing of our brows at the thoughts of those things causes wrinkles on our faces and the invectives that may spew from our mouths make us uninviting friends or guests indeed.
me to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Once you have found peace through your faith and
their lives through the resolutions that that make? Well, maybe it could provide that new beginning; but only if you really want to change.
Instead, start backtracking from that goal and try to “see” the steps that are necessary to get to that goal. Those steps become your intermediate goals; the little things that when all are completed will result in you achieving your goal in life.
someone, announcing their plans to them and then asking them to hold you accountable for achieving those plans helps keep them on track. One cannot let one’s self off the hook as easily when you have to report back to an accountability partner why you did not do what you said you were going to do. The other benefit is that it gives you someone to celebrate those small victories with once you have completed a step in the process.
goals? Do you have the needed prerequisites – education or training/skills or tools – to be able to achieve those goals. If not; should acquiring those prerequisites be an intermediate goal?
So, here we go into 2016. What have you got planned for this week and next that are steps along the way towards your goals? As you achieve those intermediate steps, don’t forget to take time to congratulate yourself on your progress. Also take time every month to review your plan to see, based upon your new experience, if you need to add some things to your drawing. That’s not a setback. That’s experience turning into wisdom and a wiser you is much more likely to achieve those goals.
ondly remembered events, weren’t necessarily all that great. We cannot turn back the clock and recapture the simpler life depicted in the fictional TV town of Mayberry; nor would we really want to, because we would be missing out on the great advances that have been made in technology and medicine and other fields that makes life better today that it was 10-20 years ago – in simpler times. That won’t happen of course, because – We’re not going that way.
touchdown. He may still be living in the same town and still wearing his high school letter jacket 40-50 years later. He works down at the car wash now, where he is still a minor celebrate (at least in his mind) to the people of the town who remember his heroics. Or maybe you know the guy or gal who never married because they are still holding out hope that a failed romance or marriage of decades ago will somehow be rekindled and work this time. They can’t let go; but you can, because – We’re not going that way.
focus ahead on the opportunities that lie in front of you for 2016. There’s an exciting adventure just ahead, with interesting twists and turns and a wonderful prize at the end. There’s a really neat person that you haven’t met yet just waiting for you in 2016 and a new job opportunity that hasn’t been create yet. A wondrous New Year is about to unfold; so, come on, let’s go; I can’t wait while you look back at the past because – We’re not going that way.
In general, people do seem to be more fixated upon money – the making of it, the collecting of it and the spending of it. One can make the case that if one runs out of money, there are still ways to live. One could sleep on a park bench, for instance. However, when one runs out of time there is only one place that they end up sleeping – forever – and no amount of accumulated money can do anything for you then.
ads down and working to earn more and more money, are we spending our time wisely? I think not. There are so much more rewarding ways to spend our time, enjoying the world around us with family and friends.
opportunities to enjoy life and those around you. More importantly there is always time after work to do the things that really make life worth living.
to be happy and content just being with yourself. Cherish your time alone. In all cases, at least be aware of and thankful for the time that you have and treat each day as if it may be your last; for you really don’t know if that may be the case.
the events of 2015 and look ahead to 2016. Hopefully we also use our memories of events in 2015 as teaching moments and learn from them. Then we can move on and make new and more rewarding memories in 2016.
there is another saying that Jack posted recently by poet Robert Frost – “How many things have to happen to you before something occurs to you?” Hopefully, you are not so oblivious that Frost’s quote applies to you. I have known people who couldn’t figure out why bad things seemed to happen to them all the time and they tend to be people who put themselves in bad situations due to poor decision making. There is a difference between just having bad luck and making bad decisions that put you in harm’s way. Try to see the differences and understand how to make better decisions.
Sometimes there were no alternatives available, because some things just happen and you just happened to be there when they occurred. But many times, there were different paths that you could have taken that day to arrive at a different place and not be in the position to have those bad things happen to you. Most people can see where they went wrong when they reflect back on the events and decision leading up to an event. Learn from that hindsight.
to look forward to the new things that have yet to happen. Yes, the old songs of 2015 and before were great, but think of all the new songs that you have yet to hear. Your old friends will still be there (most anyway) and there are new friends to be made. The adventures that you had in 2015 may have been wonderful, but there are still unexplored places and new things to try in 2016. There are memories out there just waiting for you to have them. The future is a wondrous place and you are about to step into it.