Be happy with what you have…

March 11, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 3/11/24 – reprises of posts to the Jack’s Winning Words blog or the late Pastor Jack Freed. Originally sent July 10, 2015.


“Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with less than what you have.” (Unknown) When I first read this quote, I could not help but stop and put aside my personal complaints. I have so much, and there are so many who have so little. Is it that way with you? It’s an old saying, but it’s true: “I complained, because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.” There are many reasons for us to be generous with our riches. 😉  Jack
 

It doesn’t take anything other than the nightly news to give one reason to be happy that they are not the people in the news that night. The bread-and-butter of the nightly news shows is sharing the suffering of others. Inevitably some news reports will interview someone who’s home was just destroyed and whose family was wiped out and ask that stupid question that they all seem to use, “How does that make you feel?” The reporter is hoping for tears and lamenting, which makes for great TV viewing – or so they think.

Getting back to the title theme, the conclusion that one should draw from this quote and other experiences and observations during the day is that we have much to for which to be  happy. Unfortunately, we in the United States live within a society which puts a high value of getting more – more money, more power and more possessions. We don’t have time to reflect upon and be happy about what we have, because that wastes time from our pursuit of more. Be happy with what you have.

Oft times, when my wife and I are about to leave for a shopping trip, I will ask er the question, “What do you need?” Her reply most often is, “What I need and what I want are two different things.” For most American’s that is the problem – our wants far outstrip our needs. It is also not unusual for the cost of what we want to exceed what we can afford. We end up spending money that we don’t have on things that we don’t need. Be happy with what you have.

So, how does one become happy with what they have? You might start by being happy that the Lord has given you another day on earth. Realize that not everyone got that gift. You probably heard about some who aren’t here today on last night’s news shows. Be happy with what you have.

As you head into the shower, think about all of the people who not only can’t take a shower, but who have no safe water to drink. That was on last night’s news, too. Be happy with what you have.

As you rummage through your overstuffed closet for today’s outfit, consider the people who just escaped a housefire with only the clothes (or pajamas) on their backs. Consider those migrants at the border or the refuges in Gaza who have only the clothes that they had on when they fled. Be happy with what you have.

Throughout your workday, think about how lucky you are to have a job and/or the freedom to seek another one, if your current job isn’t working for you. In parts of the world torn by chaos and war, there are no jobs. Be happy with what you have.

As you end your day, perhaps a prayer of thanksgiving is in order. Pause to consider all of the places in the world where freedom of religious expression is suppressed or nonexistent. Be happy with what you have.

If praying isn’t your thing, at least give some thought to the quote that Jack used in his post – “Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with less than what you have.” (Unknown) Reflect upon how that could be true and the blessings that you have will flood into your mind. You will be happy with what you have.

Now, doesn’t that make you feel better? Be happy with what you have.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Give yourself a break…

February 12, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/12/24 – Originally sent April 21, 2015.


“You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.” (Sent by NCD) Each year my insurance provider asks for a health assessment, including a part which asks me to rate my stress level. I’ve read that some stress is good for all of us. As with much of life–All things in moderation! But, when nerves get you down, take some deep breaths, write a thank you note, go for a walk, make a gratitude list, and don’t forget to pray. 😉  Jack   


 
Most of us stress ourselves by being to critical and unforgiving of ourselves. We are obviously the only ones who can really answer the question, “What was he/she thinking?” and sometimes we just don’t like the answer. In fact, many people deflect blame from themselves by seeking someone or something else to blame for the bad outcome of what was a bad decision. Give yourself a break.

Sometimes we exacerbate the stress by imposing artificial and unrealistic deadlines upon ourselves. Sometimes we commit to achieving success in a task for which we are ill prepared to tackle (if prepared at all). Sometimes we commit to a goal that can only be achieved by a team of people and watch in disgust or despair when teammates let us down by failing in their part of the task. Almost always we look back on a failure and ask ourselves what we could have done differently to change the outcome.  Give yourself a break.

I saw recently in a report that some companies are starting to evaluate the performance of their employees based upon their success with the process rather than the outcome. That is important because it acknowledges that most bigger jobs (tasks) are comprised of multiple steps (the process) that are defined by others and that success at the macro-level is out of the control of the individual performing the detailed steps.  This allows a team-sport athlete who “left it all on the field” to feel good about themselves even in the face of a team defeat. Give yourself a break.

I have posted here a few times about forgiving yourself and that is a big part of giving yourself a break. The road to despair is paved with “what if” and “I should have…” guilt trips. Don’t go there. You didn’t and that is that. Forgive yourself and move on. Give yourself a break.

I like this quote – “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” — Thomas S. Monson

We can’t just forget the past or change it, but we can use it as a teaching moment and hopefully learn from it. We also cannot change the future, but we can get ourselves better prepared for it by developing and practicing a better decision-making process. That process begins in the here and now. Give yourself a break.

Becoming more conscious of how you make decisions will hopefully enable you to improve that process. Sometimes that decision-making awareness will expose many of the bad assumptions or prejudices that drive your decisions and behavior. Make correcting those a priority but forgive yourself for having them and move on. Give yourself a break.

Jack’s last suggestion that you can relieve stress through prayer is an important one. Prayer allows you to forgive yourself and free you to move on. Prayer allows you to admit that you do not and cannot have the answers to every challenge. It allows you to lean on your faith and upon God for those answers. I use my little prayer, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” to Give myself a break. Try it, It might work for you, too. Give yourself a break.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Hang in there…

January 29, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/29/24 – reprises of posts from the late Pastor Jack Freed…


“If the mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.” (Quoted by Wintley Phipps) Many of us were fascinated in 2015 when TV showed two people climbing the sheer face of El Capitan, using only hands, feet, and a rope. They were able to succeed because small fissures in the rock allowed them to get finger and toe holds. There are some life problems that seem impossible to solve. Usually there’s a way. Keep searching, climbing…and keep hanging in there! 😉  Jack    
 
Originally sent April 11, 2016.

I also got this graphic today in another email –

One cannot climb a mountain or reach new heights without putting in the hard work. Sometimes that may feel like you are like a rock climber and just hanging in there by your fingertips. That too is part of the journey.

Life, like the mountain in Jack’s post, is not smooth and that’s actually a good thing. When you encounter a challenge or problem in life that seems to have no solution, look for that small crack or fissure that you can hold on to.

Perhaps you have nothing left to grasp but your faith. But faith alone can provide you with a solid toehold or fissure to grip. Faith can overcome fear and give you the strength and the courage to pull yourself up and go on. Faith can help you reach those new heights.

Keep the faith and hang in there. This is your year to reach new heights.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Dealing with your selfie…

January 24, 2024

Every now and then, in an unguarded moment of honesty we get a glimpse of ourselves – a mental selfie, if you will. Not everyone likes what they see. Not everyone can deal with what they see.

self

/self/

noun

  1. a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.

Introspection may lead to feelings of guilt or shame over something that we did or maybe didn’t do. In some cases, one’s selfie may result in feelings of inadequacy or disappointment over aspirations not met and goals not achieved. In many cases those feelings reflect our perception of how others see us; however, some, if not all, eventually resolve down to how we see ourselves – our mental selfie.

I believe that it is critical to your mental health to be able to forgive yourself. You must be able to forgive and let go of your past mistakes in judgement or deed. You must be able to give up what might have been, forgive yourself for the decisions that resulted in you ending up where you are, accept who you are and what is and move on.

Most of us do a better job of feeling sorry for ourselves or even hating ourselves than we do at forgiving ourselves. Sometimes in order to forgive ourselves we need someone else to forgive us first. That is where God comes in.  

Since, by definition, these moments of introspection usually occur when we are alone, there is no one else to turn to for forgiveness. It’s just you and God sitting there contemplating what you have discovered or admitted in your selfie. The Good News is that if you accept Him into your life, God forgives you no matter what it is and God loves you no matter who you are. You are then free to forgive yourself.

I have shared here a few times the simple little prayer that I use to forgive myself by accepting God’s forgiveness – “Not my will but thy will be done.” That simple prayer is your surrender of yourself to God and with it comes the transfer and forgiveness of your entire past and the entrusting of your entire future to God. You can feel the weight of your guilt or disappointment, or self-loathing being lifted from your shoulders as the hope for a better future rushes in.

So, go ahead and do your mental selfie. Take a look at what you see and realize that you are not alone while seeing these things in yourself. Accept God and hand Him your past. Accept His forgiveness and then forgive yourself. Now you can face the future without the baggage of the past. There’s a new you ready for your next selfie. You’ll love what you see in that one.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Define yourself…

January 11, 2024

“Other people’s definitions of you, sometimes they’re more about making themselves feel better. You gotta define yourself.” – Christopher Moltisanti from the TV show The Sopranos

How do you define yourself? Do you defer to what you think others might think about you or do you have your own definition of who you are?

Defining yourself sounds a lot like thinking of yourself in the third person, but really it’s about just being comfortable with who and what you are. A big part of defining yourself, as I have posted here a few times before, has to do with forgiving yourself. People who cannot forgive themselves for mistakes or poor decisions end up with very negative self-images – they define themselves as losers. Define yourself.

None of us are losers and none of us are perfect, without faults or mistakes in our lives. It is the ability to recognize, to own, and forgive their errors that frees people to move on and to define themselves. A big part of that comes from not focusing upon how others try to define you; but, rather, being conscious and proud of who you know you are. Define yourself.

There’s a James Bay song titled Let it go that contains the lyrics “why don’t you be you and I’ll be me”. While this song is a break up song and kind of a downer, those lyrics offer good advice for us all. Let everyone else be themselves and you just be you. Define yourself.

Another part of the James Bay song talks about letting things go and that is a key to being happy with yourself. You must let go of your feelings of guilt or failure or disappointment. I find the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done” to be a great help with letting things go. You must forgive yourself and you must move on. Define yourself.

There is also a song by the Staple Singers titled Respect Yourself that makes the point that if you don’t respect yourself no one else will respect you either. The first step towards respecting yourself is defining yourself and being happy with that definition. As the Staple Singers might have put it – “Ain’t nobody going to do it for you”. You can move on to respecting yourself once you Define Yourself.

Sometimes the jobs or positions that we are in serve to define a big part of who we are, or at least what the expectations of others might be of us, given the role that we are playing. That is true of first responders and police, of those who serve in the military and of pastors and priests. It is true also for those in positions of business or political power. The phrase, “with great power comes great responsibility” was coined for those people. They are judged and most certainly judge themselves by how they handle that responsibility. Define yourself.

It is important then to take some time to get a clear view of who and what you are trying to be – the definition of you that you hope others see, but more importantly the definition of you that you see. Let go of fears and prejudices, let go of uncertainties and doubts, let go of the past and guilt, let go of the definitions of others. You be you and I’ll be me. Define yourself.

Respect yourself.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Look for God’s beacon…

December 11, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 12/11/23 – posts made to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed, now being reposted by his son.

“A candle of God’s goodness can serve as a beacon of hope for those navigating dark passages of their lives.” (Hanukkah Quote) One thing that Hanukkah and Christmas have in common is a message of HOPE. God’s goodness is always with us…told by the menorah’s nine candles, or the one Christmas Star. As we traipse the dark passages of life, let’s not forget that God is with us. In the darkest hours, seen or unseen, our Hope is that God goes with us. 😉  Jack 
 
Originally sent December 10, 2020.

We may think of those going through dark times in their lives and hope that God is with them; however, there are quite often others with them that we seldom stop to think about. They are the ones who

provide support and comfort to those involved in life’s darker moments.. They are the first responders who arrive at scenes of chaos, accidents, tragedies or pain and loss They include the healthcare workers who are involved at the hospitals or those who must visit the homes or bedsides to offer support or condolences.  We do not spend much time thinking about the impact on their lives made by the things they must deal with daily, yet that impact can be profound. Those are dark passages.

 When you really stop to think about it, it’s not hard to understand why these people may be impacted. They are, after all, people who care enough to want to help and they are often involved in an extremely hard time for those they are helping. Some of the pain, sadness, anguish or sorrow cannot help but rub off on them, too. Their empathy is a conduit for sharing those feelings and it is impossible for it not to have an impact. Those are dark passages.

I certainly include in this group the priests and pastors who try to bring spiritual strength to people in situations when it an seems like God has abandoned them. How terribly difficult it must be to assure the parents or loved one’s of the victims of a mass shooting that God is with them. How hard it must be after the loss of a spouse to try to comfort and reassure the grieving survivor. How it must tear at the soul of even the most devout to preside over the funeral of a young life cut short by drugs or violence or suicide. Those are dark passages.

Yet, through all of our dark passages, if we but turn to God, his goodness will shine as a beacon and the light will show us the way out of the darkness. Seeking God’s help doesn’t have to be something elaborate, just something sincere. In my personal times of darkness, I have turned to the simple prayer, “Not my will, but thy will be done.” Try it and let God’s beacon of hope show you the way out of those dark passages.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Dive in and be happy…

November 14, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 11/13/23
“I’ve made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life. I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I’ve never emerged.” (Patch Adams) Patch is a physician and clown, dedicated to bringing humor to hospital patients (children and adults) around the world, His is an alternative form of healthcare not covered by insurance. He believes that “bad days” are often caused by looking at the world in the wrong way. If you’re having a bad day, try looking through the lens of gratitude. 😉  Jack

Originally sent August 18, 2020.

Patch Adams is both a real person and was a 1998 movie by the same name, staring Robin Williams as Adams. Patch Adams is best known for his work as a medical doctor and a clown, but he is also a social activist who has devoted over 40 years of his life to changing America’s healthcare system. He believes that laughter, joy and creativity are an integral part of the healing process and, with the help of friends, he founded the Gesundheit Institute in 1971 in order to address all the problems of health care in one model.

It’s not as hard as you may initially think to take the advice that Patch Adams offered, if you make it a habit to wake up each day and find something for which to be grateful; be it just being alive for another day or something else. As I get older, the just being alive for another day thing takes on more meaning and provides a reason to be grateful.

There will always be days when things are not going the way that you had hoped they would. Those don’t have to be “bad” days. They are, after all, days in which you will experience something new and hopefully learn from the experience. Phrases like “It keeps you on your toes” or “That’s what makes life interesting” come to mind.

How the day goes for you – good or bad – is greatly impacted by the frame of mind in which you start the day. Adams has resolved to be grateful at the star of each day and that has allowed him to find happiness in each day. You can find happiness, too.

Adams never mentions faith, but I would be willing to bet that at the heart of his approach to life there is a strong faith. Just looking for someone or something to express your gratitude for another day will inevitably lead to thanking God. Once you are in that frame of mind with God, you are off to a great start on what will be another great day.

So, take the advice of Patch Adams and start each day with an attitude of gratitude and see if that doesn’t change your life. Dive in to the endless sea of gratitude and be happy.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Help my unbelief…

November 9, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 10/30/23
“Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you. P.S. If you are a fake, don’t tell me.  I don’t want to know.”  (Linus writing to The Great Pumpkin) Cartoonist Charles Schulz never hid the fact that he was a church member, and some of his Peanuts comic strips showed that. Just because someone is a church member doesn’t mean that they don’t sometimes doubt their faith. One time a father brought his son to Jesus for healing. Jesus asked him if he believed, and he responded, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”  What Linus says to The Great Pumpkin could be rephrased to, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” Faith, whether in a religious context or not, isn’t the absence of doubt,!  -)  Jack
 
Originally sent October 26, 2022.

Aa I have gotten older I have become better at keeping separate my faith from my religion. I go to church most weeks and sit there with others who are there seeking help with their unbelief. We all believe, but we all need help with our unbelief.

One thing that age does is give you the time to ponder the alternatives to belief in God and they all end up leading you down the same blind alley with nothing at the end – no answers and no viable alternatives. There is God or there is nothing and nothing is a sad and scary thing to conclude indeed.

Faith is based upon hope and without faith there is no hope, and that is a dead end. Faith allows us to believe that death is not the end. A good deal of mankind’s development of religions is devoted to descriptions (some quite elaborate) of the hereafter, based entirely on man’s limited imagination. I find some comfort in believing that what comes next is much more than we can imagine.

In times of great suffering, pain, or sorrow, those with a strong faith find comfort in it. It is also a time when one’s unbelief can cause them to question why God would allow such pain to happen or even to question whether God exists at all. It is in those times when the words of Mark 9:24 ring the truest – “I believe; help my unbelief.” 

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Posted by Norm Werner

Unlock your chains…

October 23, 2023

From the best of Jack’s Winning Words comes this post to the Jack Freed’s blog back in 2020…

“So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”  (The Eagles)  It’s said that the Eagles’ song, Already Gone, has some of the greatest lyrics of all time. It expresses a thought that I’ve found to be true: “Things always work out for the best in the end.” And there’s another truism: “Chains” sometimes keep us from having a better life. The lyrics say that we have the key to a happier life. We don’t have to live in chains. 😉  Jack

What are the “Chains” that keep us from a better life? They are the chains of ignorance, fear, hatred, prejudice and bigotry. While many of them may be handed to us by others – parents or friends – they are things that we wrap around ourselves and allow them to control our actions.

It may not be easy to unlock those chains. Some are deeply ingrained in us. Yet each is a chain that holds us back; that prevents us from really enjoying a happy life. None of them is positive or additive to our lives. They are all negative and serve only to bring us down.

Perhaps the “key” that the song alludes to, which will unlock those chains and set us free is love. Love opens the way to understanding, to acceptance and to forgiveness. But, before you can love others, you must love yourself.  I have posted here in the past about the need to love yourself before you can love others (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2023/01/18/love-yourself-first/)

Loving yourself allows you to forgive yourself and that loosens many chains and allows them to fall away. You have the key to getting rid of your chains. Use it. Free yourself. Allow yourself to love and to be loved.

If you need a little help using the key, there is a locksmith named Jesus whom you can call upon, no matter how many chains weigh you down. Call upon Him for help and you will feel the weight of those chains slipping away.

Unlock your chains…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Revisit your plan…

October 13, 2023

Today’s graphic is a good reminder that we all need to revisit the plans that we have to achieve our goals. Stubborn persistence to a failing plan is just a waste of time and many times just gets you further away from achieving your goals by taking you down a rat-hole.

It is not second-guessing yourself to pause and take a hard and honest look at whether the plan that you have is working. What you may discover is that the plan was not detailed enough – you did not break down the tasks needed to achieve your goal into small enough steps, or perhaps you missed some steps that are critical to success. It’s time to adjust your plan when you come to that conclusion.

It may feel like you are going sideways as you recover and complete the steps that you had missed, but they may be required to really make any further progress. Sometimes you may conclude that the path that you were on is a dead-end, like going down the dead-end leg of a maze. The challenge then is to understand how far you may have to back-track before taking a different approach (path). It is frustrating to discover that you‘ve been wasting time pursuing a dead-end path; however, you must treat it as a learning experience and rededicate yourself to the goals and to finding a new path.

Sometimes, especially in life, you may find that your goals change over time. You realize with the wisdom of age that some of your “goals” were superficial. Perhaps you finally understand that pursuing ownership of things is much less rewarding and important than forgoing meaningful relationships.  Maybe you finally see that a bright and warm day brings you more happiness than more money in your paycheck.

If you are really introspective you will find that your relationship with God is far more important than anything here on earth. In the back of every person’s mind is the goal of something beyond death. There is only one plan that you can pursue to make that goal happen – belief in the salvation and everlasting life made possible through Jesus Christ. If that hasn’t been your plan, it’s time for you to change your plan.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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