The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/29/24 – reprises of posts from the late Pastor Jack Freed…
“If the mountain were smooth, you couldn’t climb it.” (Quoted by Wintley Phipps) Many of us were fascinated in 2015 when TV showed two people climbing the sheer face of El Capitan, using only hands, feet, and a rope. They were able to succeed because small fissures in the rock allowed them to get finger and toe holds. There are some life problems that seem impossible to solve. Usually there’s a way. Keep searching, climbing…and keep hanging in there! 😉 Jack
Originally sent April 11, 2016.
I also got this graphic today in another email –
One cannot climb a mountain or reach new heights without putting in the hard work. Sometimes that may feel like you are like a rock climber and just hanging in there by your fingertips. That too is part of the journey.
Life, like the mountain in Jack’s post, is not smooth and that’s actually a good thing. When you encounter a challenge or problem in life that seems to have no solution, look for that small crack or fissure that you can hold on to.
Perhaps you have nothing left to grasp but your faith. But faith alone can provide you with a solid toehold or fissure to grip. Faith can overcome fear and give you the strength and the courage to pull yourself up and go on. Faith can help you reach those new heights.
Keep the faith and hang in there. This is your year to reach new heights.
Every now and then, in an unguarded moment of honesty we get a glimpse of ourselves – a mental selfie, if you will. Not everyone likes what they see. Not everyone can deal with what they see.
Introspection may lead to feelings of guilt or shame over something that we did or maybe didn’t do. In some cases, one’s selfie may result in feelings of inadequacy or disappointment over aspirations not met and goals not achieved. In many cases those feelings reflect our perception of how others see us; however, some, if not all, eventually resolve down to how we see ourselves – our mental selfie.
I believe that it is critical to your mental health to be able to forgive yourself. You must be able to forgive and let go of your past mistakes in judgement or deed. You must be able to give up what might have been, forgive yourself for the decisions that resulted in you ending up where you are, accept who you are and what is and move on.
Most of us do a better job of feeling sorry for ourselves or even hating ourselves than we do at forgiving ourselves. Sometimes in order to forgive ourselves we need someone else to forgive us first. That is where God comes in.
Since, by definition, these moments of introspection usually occur when we are alone, there is no one else to turn to for forgiveness. It’s just you and God sitting there contemplating what you have discovered or admitted in your selfie. The Good News is that if you accept Him into your life, God forgives you no matter what it is and God loves you no matter who you are. You are then free to forgive yourself.
I have shared here a few times the simple little prayer that I use to forgive myself by accepting God’s forgiveness – “Not my will but thy will be done.” That simple prayer is your surrender of yourself to God and with it comes the transfer and forgiveness of your entire past and the entrusting of your entire future to God. You can feel the weight of your guilt or disappointment, or self-loathing being lifted from your shoulders as the hope for a better future rushes in.
So, go ahead and do your mental selfie. Take a look at what you see and realize that you are not alone while seeing these things in yourself. Accept God and hand Him your past. Accept His forgiveness and then forgive yourself. Now you can face the future without the baggage of the past. There’s a new you ready for your next selfie. You’ll love what you see in that one.
“Other people’s definitions of you, sometimes they’re more about making themselves feel better. You gotta define yourself.” – Christopher Moltisanti from the TV show The Sopranos
How do you define yourself? Do you defer to what you think others might think about you or do you have your own definition of who you are?
Defining yourself sounds a lot like thinking of yourself in the third person, but really it’s about just being comfortable with who and what you are. A big part of defining yourself, as I have posted here a few times before, has to do with forgiving yourself. People who cannot forgive themselves for mistakes or poor decisions end up with very negative self-images – they define themselves as losers. Define yourself.
None of us are losers and none of us are perfect, without faults or mistakes in our lives. It is the ability to recognize, to own, and forgive their errors that frees people to move on and to define themselves. A big part of that comes from not focusing upon how others try to define you; but, rather, being conscious and proud of who you know you are. Define yourself.
There’s a James Bay song titled Let it go that contains the lyrics “why don’t you be you and I’ll be me”. While this song is a break up song and kind of a downer, those lyrics offer good advice for us all. Let everyone else be themselves and you just be you. Define yourself.
Another part of the James Bay song talks about letting things go and that is a key to being happy with yourself. You must let go of your feelings of guilt or failure or disappointment. I find the little prayer, “Not my will but thy will be done” to be a great help with letting things go. You must forgive yourself and you must move on. Define yourself.
There is also a song by the Staple Singers titled Respect Yourself that makes the point that if you don’t respect yourself no one else will respect you either. The first step towards respecting yourself is defining yourself and being happy with that definition. As the Staple Singers might have put it – “Ain’t nobody going to do it for you”. You can move on to respecting yourself once you Define Yourself.
Sometimes the jobs or positions that we are in serve to define a big part of who we are, or at least what the expectations of others might be of us, given the role that we are playing. That is true of first responders and police, of those who serve in the military and of pastors and priests. It is true also for those in positions of business or political power. The phrase, “with great power comes great responsibility” was coined for those people. They are judged and most certainly judge themselves by how they handle that responsibility. Define yourself.
It is important then to take some time to get a clear view of who and what you are trying to be – the definition of you that you hope others see, but more importantly the definition of you that you see. Let go of fears and prejudices, let go of uncertainties and doubts, let go of the past and guilt, let go of the definitions of others. You be you and I’ll be me. Define yourself.
The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/8/24 – reprised posts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.
“All I aim to do this year is better.” (PictureQuotes.com) Are you into making resolutions? How’s it going? Recently a related quote was handed to me: “A year from now you’ll wish you had started today.” When we’re really serious about making changes in our life, it has to happen one day at a time. I’ve read that if you’re going to move a mountain, you begin by moving the first stone, even if it’s only a pebble. Basically, I aim to do better…starting today. 😉 Jack
Originally sent January 14, 2016.
I got the graphic below separately from today’s post from the Jack’s Winning Words blog, but it just seemed to be appropriate.
At this time of the year people and businesses are busy setting their goals for the coming year. Sometimes people call their goals resolutions. The one consistent factor in these plans/resolutions is a desire or need for change. Even a goal as nebulous as “doing better” begs the need for change.
In order to understand what needs to change or how you can do better, one needs to understand where they are starting from – what is the current situation that you would like to change? That understanding constitutes your starting point and the baseline from which you will measure the progress of the change.
Reflecting on what you’ve accomplished over the last year also allows you to think about what worked and what didn’t. It may require a reset of your goals or at least a reexamination of them to see if that is really still a goal worth pursuing.
One aspect of goals that is often misjudged is the timeline to accomplish them. Most of the time that is caused by a failure to breakdown ands understand the steps and sequence of events that must be accomplished on the journey to the end goal. Quite often with bigger or more ambitious goals there are a host of enabling things that must be accomplished before one can make progress on the main goal. Often these enabling steps involve education or training, which can take years in itself. So, perhaps one of the things that you’ll need to get better at is patience. Another is persistence.
In the business world there is a good advice about goal setting:
Goals must be achievable.
Goals must be measurable.
Goals must have a time constraint.
We should strive to make our resolutions for the year ahead adhere to those guidelines. Another good business practice to follow in our pursuit of our resolutions is that we must be held accountable. Someone else needs to know what your goal is and agree to provide you with an evaluation and feedback on your progress. In business we call that someone your “accountability partner”.
So, as you begin another year with new resolutions (goals) for change and improvement, make sure that they are realistic (see list above). At the end of each day/week/month, take time to reflect back on how you spent your time and evaluate whether or not you actually accomplished and steps, no matter how small, towards your new goals for the year. Then renew your commitment to persistence and patience.
The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/2/24 – reposts from the late Pastor Jack Freed’s blog
“As I walked out the door to my freedom, I knew if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind that I would still be in prison.” (Nelson Mandela) As we walk into the New Year, it would be well to follow Mandela’s example and leave behind that which has kept us from being the best that we can be. It is possible to let the past be the past and to live life in a new way. Let that be our resolve. 😉 Jack
Originally sent January 4, 2016.
As you begin a new year, perhaps focusing upon things that you decide not do are as important as making resolutions about things that you hope to do. If you can resolve to start 2024 by leaving behind the anger, hatred and bitterness in your life, you will have a much better year.
Instead of focusing upon getting even with someone else over some real or perceived harm that they may have caused you, focus instead upon forgiving them and moving on with your life.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity over poor decisions that you made in your past, focus upon forgiving yourself, learning from your mistakes, and moving on with life.
Instead of allowing fear and hatred to dictate your reaction to others who may no be like you, open your heart and your mind to the possibilities of new understanding, new learning and new friendships.
Instead of limiting yourself over concerns about what others may think, or trying to meet the expectations of others, be true to yourself and be the best that you can be.
Walk out of the prison of your past and begin a new life.
Posted by Norm Werner 
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