You can’t walk in my shoes…

January 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 1/6/25 – Originally sent October 19, 2021.
“We have met the enemy, and he is us.” (Pogo) After winning a battle with the British Royal Navy in the War of 1812, Commodore Oliver Perry reported: “We have met the enemy, and they are ours.” Cartoonist Walt Kelly changed the last three words, making commentary on the strife going on in America in the 1960’s: Americans fighting Americans. Could it be that something similar is happening in America today? There’s an old saying: “We are our own worst enemy.” I’m not going to win a prize for coming up with an idea for peace but trying to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while might help. Give it a try. 😉 Jack


It is literally and figuratively impossible to walk in someone else’s shoes; however, we can take some time to try to understand the different perspective that someone else is experiencing the world from. If that too proves to be impossible, then at least acknowledging that they see things differently from you and in a way that you don’t understand is a good starting point. Perhaps acknowledging that you don’t understand their pain or anger or position on something will allow you to move on to being more helpful by exploring their feelings and point of view and trying to figure out the best things that you can do to help or comfort them.


This is particularly true when dealing with someone of a different ethnic or racial or sexual orientation background. You may have no idea what it is like to be of middle eastern heritage or to be a person of color or maybe a person who is undergoing or has made a sexual-orientation or gender change. There is little to no understanding of that person that a white, middle-class, Christian person of European ancestry brings to the encounter. So, saying I understand your pain, or anger, or confusion is just B.S. Better that you should say, “I don’t understand how you feel right now or how you got here, but help me understand what I can do to help.” That may at least start a conversation that will help you understand a little bit of the perspective of the person and should help you define with them what things you can do to help, if anything.


So, start to help someone by admitting that you don’t understand their pain. Try to get a better picture of what that person is feeling and what brought them to this state. Don’t rely on your own perspective…it will be wrong. However, your own experiences in similar situations may help you suggest things that worked for you to resolve similar issues that you faced or to deal with pains, disappointments or failures that you have experienced. Sometimes, just providing a shoulder to cry on or an attentive ear to listen to their story is all the help that they need.


Jack wasn’t wrong, but he was speaking metaphorically. Walking in someone’s shoes is really about making the effort to understand their perspective and their problem or issue. Jack was a master at that very thing and helped so many people because he took the time and made the effort to understand them and their perspective before he tried to help them.

You can’t walk in someone else’s shoes, so what will you do when you encounter someone who needs your help?

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Posted by Norm Werner

It’s a personal thing…

March 3, 2021

Today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog contained this quote –  “I can explain it to you, but I can’t comprehend it for you.”  (Edward Koch) 

There is a tendency to immediately substitute the word “understand” for the word “comprehend” in that sentence, but that isn’t really what the sentence is saying. It is different to comprehend something that just to understand it.

One way that the Webster’s Dictionary defines “comprehend” is –

1: to grasp the nature, significance, or meaning of

In fact, even most dictionaries use the word understand within the definition of comprehend. Koch’s quote actually is right on as to the personal nature of comprehension. One can understand something at an intellectual level without really comprehending it, just as one can comprehend something without having to understanding it.  

Understanding is a rather emotionless term that points at how things fit into our minds and memories – what category will this be filed under in my mind and how might this knowledge be used and applied in the future?

Comprehending, on the other hand, I think, leads to changes in how one perceives and reacts to the world around them. It is a very personal thing, involving how you grasp or perceive the things that you encounter.  One does not so much understand love as to comprehend it for themselves.  The same is true of prejudice or hate. You would be hard pressed to understand what causes them in you, but you can comprehend them as being there.

Ones faith is another thing that cannot really be understood, but which is comprehensible. How do you understand or explain your belief in a God who cannot be seen or heard, but whom you comprehend is always there with you? It’s a personal thing.

So, take a moment during the day to comprehend God. Don’t try to understand God, you really can’t; however, you can grasp the nature, significance and meaning of God in your life – you can comprehend. For me, that’s enough. I will not worry about understanding God, so long as I comprehend Him in my life.

How about you? Do you comprehend?

Sorry, I can’t help you with that. It’s a personal thing.

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Posted by Norm Werner