Have no regrets…

April 2, 2025


“Minimize regret by making decisions based on who you are, not who you wish you were.” (Unknown)
I recently saw that saying somewhere on-line (I can’t remember where). I Googled it and it turned out to closely match the sayings of a life coach who teaches people how to make decisions with minimal regrets. Who knew such people exist?


The other thing that comes up when you Google that phrase are stories about how Jeff Bezos made his decision to leave the Wall Street world and start Amazon. Out of his experiences has come a concept called the Regret Framework, a methodology for making decisions with minimal regret potential. I had no idea that a whole framework existed for avoiding regrets.


While interesting in the context of decision making, I think the basic concept of accepting and understanding who you are and using that understanding as the foundation for living your life is the key. I have posted here before about accepting and loving yourself (see Love Yourself First, and Forgive Yourself). Those are ways that you acknowledge and accept who you are. When you do that, you let go of the burden that comes with trying to be like someone else and can focus on just being the best you that you can be. You will have no regrets.


Our measurement-oriented society does not make living without regrets easy. From a very young age we are encouraged (indeed required) to measure ourselves against others. It is not just about how you did; it is about how did you do against Billy or Sally? Everything becomes a contest where there are declared winners and losers. Regrets are associated with being the loser in whatever it is. Those are most often self-inflicted regrets. Stop measuring yourself against others. You will have no regrets.


One of the organizations that has rejected that scenario is the Special Olympics, where every participant in an event is considered to be a winner for having tried their best. Everyone gets a medal and no one has to have regrets. Be the best participant in life that you can be. You will have no regrets.


If you accept and learn to love who you are you will have no need to measure yourself against others. You will stop trying to meet expectations based upon someone that you wished you could be. You allow yourself to be happy with what you were able to accomplish. You will have no regrets.


Forgiving yourself and accepting yourself are both solitary experiences and one might think that you will feel lonely in such experiences. I posted about that to in Don’t be lonely…love yourself. You will have no regrets.


If you find that you need a framework for your life so that you don’t end up with regrets, look to your faith. There are tons of examples and guidance for a regret free life to be found in the Bible. No better example for living a regret-free life exists than Jesus. Jesus does not ask that you measure yourself against him. Rather he sets the example of what to strive for, His life provides goals for us to use for our lives. Keep those goals in mind and You will have no regrets.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be kind…be healthy…

December 16, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 12/16/24 – Originally sent January 5, 2016.
“When the Grinch discovered the true spirit of Christmas, his small heart grew 3 sizes that day.” (Dr Seuss) Did you know that an act of kindness can have a positive health benefit? A study has shown that being kind can add to physical well-being…so, smile, give compliments, volunteer, let someone go ahead of you in line, write an unexpected thank you. If kindness helped Grinch, it can help you and me. Give it a try. 😉 Jack

We get lots of reminders at this time of the year to be more thoughtful, kind and generous, although few such reminders also tout the health benefits that accrue to us. The old saw “it is better to give than to receive” is on full display and opportunities to give are on every street corner. It does not require giving money in order to display thoughtfulness, kindness or even generosity. The most valuable things that we have to give is our time. There are also lots of opportunities all year long to volunteer your time in support of worthy causes. If you don’t know where to start, just Google “volunteer opportunities near me” and see all of the things that are returned.

So do yourself a favor this Christmas and give yourself the gift of better health. Put a smile on your face and in your heart and be kind, be thoughtful and be generous with your most precious possession – your time. Your heart probably won’t grow like the Grinch, but, it will feel much bigger when it is full of the joy of giving.

And let that joy of giving show in your life. Be a cheerful giver. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
2 Corinthians 9:7.

Be kind, be cheerful and be healthy today.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Those with no boat at all…

October 12, 2020

“Although we are in different boats, you in your boat and we in our canoe, we share the same river of life.”  (Chief Oren Lyons)

That was the quote from a Native American in today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog. It is easy to conjure up mental images of boats of all type, sizes and color floating or motoring along the vast river of life. One can even imagine clusters of people floating along on inner tubes (perhaps those are the retirees). But it’s harder to imagine being swept along by the river with nothing, no canoe or boat, not even an inner tube; but, that is the fate of the homeless. They are still there, in the river that the rest of us are on, but with no support at all. Perhaps they are just floating on the surface or maybe frantically dog paddling to keep afloat.

There is a tendency to try to ignore those people, lumping them in with the debris that we may also see floating in the river; however, we really can’t ignore the fact that, “there but for the grace of God go I.” They are other human beings; members of our tribe of humans who need and deserve our help. We cannot sweep them under the rug or pretend that they are not there, in the river with us. There may not be room in your boat for another rider; but perhaps there is a spare life vest in your boat that you could toss to them to help. If you look, you may find that there are programs already in place in your area to provide some assistance and help to the homeless. If so, maybe you can volunteer in those programs or at least contribute to them.

There are others floating along the river of life in vessels that are sinking. They may be depressed or suffering other mental issues or perhaps trapped in abusive relationships. Perhaps they have sent up flares of distress for other to see. Again, it is easy to try to look the other way, ignore their calls for help and by-pass their sinking boat, but it is not the right things to do. Hold out your hand and pull them back up as they sink. Sometimes just encouraging them to abandon that abusive, sinking ship is enough

The river of life that we are all on is not always a calm, peaceful stream. It has rough patches, like the rapids in real rivers. There are dangerous rocks and even waterfalls that we must navigate from time to time. Those times test our boats and us. If we have a boat with a strong keel, we have a better chance at survival. The best keel of all for life’s boats is a strong faith in God. That faith will not only keep our boat afloat, but it will also provide us with a rudder of compassion that will guide us to help those that we see along the way who don’t even have a boat.

In the Bible we read – But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? (1 John 3:17). Therefore, the message is to thank God for the strong boat that he has provided for you in order to enjoy life’s ride down life’s river and to be ready to offer help to others whose boat may be sinking or who don’t even have a boat.

We maybe be all ON the river of life, but there are those who are IN the river and need our help. Be ready to throw a lifeline.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Who will you be today?

September 23, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words. Pastor Freed used this quote from Alice in Wonderland – “I’m not who I was yesterday.” 

He went on to write – I’ve read that our body cells are continuing to die and be replaced, so that we are never who we were yesterday (a complete change in 7 years!).

While it is interesting to think that you’ll have completely new body cells in seven years, it is even more fascinating  to explore the thought that you have a choice of who you will be today; that you do not have to be who you were yesterday. Who will you be today?

Most of us probably don’t take the time each morning when we wake up to reflect upon who wed were yesterday and to think about who we want to be today – but we should. If recalling the events of the past (yesterday and beyond) show us a person who was not as understanding, tolerant or forgiving and kind as we would like to be, then we have the ability to change that today and become the person we want to be. Who will you be today?

One doesn’t have to think of this opportunity as if it were a TV show about a total makeover, sort of like the old Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. It can quickly get to be overwhelming, if one tries to change completely in one day. Rather it can be approached as the chance to change one or two small things that you recognize that you currently do (or did yesterday), such as jumping to conclusions about people based solely on your first visual impression. What can you do to stop that knee-jerk reaction and take the time to actually get to know that person? Who will you be today?

You might be surprised at the change that both you and the people around you perceive if you just resolve to listen more and speak less. All of a sudden the chatterbox or scatterbrain that people dismissed could be perceived as  the thoughtful and well-spoken person that people turn to for advice. What changed? You did. You made the conscious decision to be somebody different from who you were yesterday. Who will you be today?

So, take some time this morning in self-examination to determine what things in your life you might wish to change, what actions or reactions you want to make sure that you don’t repeat. Pastor Fred when on to add to his blog – Every day is an opportunity to improve the self that we were yesterday. Take that opportunity to become a better you. Think about it. Pray about it and then do something about it.

Who will you be today?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you tracking up the place?

September 21, 2020

“Don’t track in mud on my clean floors!” How often we may have heard that from our moms as kids growing up?

There is a great saying that was left over from research on Native American sayings that I did for an earlier post –

“We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.” – Dakota

Yes, we do leave tracks in life; not on the floors so much, but on other people’s lives. The tracks that we leave are made by the impressions that they have of us in those encounters. What tracks will you be known by? Will they be the tracks of a caring, kind and empathetic person who took the time to listen and offered help; or will they be memories of someone cold and uncaring person who turned their back in a time of need? Will they be tracks of a leader showing the way forward or the retreating tracks of the coward running from adversity? Will they be the deep tracks of a person willing to shoulder the load of others or the shallow tracks of the self-centered, unable to see the needs of others?

Some tracks left behind can be more like bruises – hurtful, painful and slow to heal. Those are the tracks of hate or prejudices that cause harm to others. Some tracks are more like gentle kisses, leaving fond memories in their wake. Those are the track left by love, empathy and inclusiveness.

As you finish each day, look back over the tracks that you have left that day. Are they tracks that you can be proud of or are they reminders of things avoided or left undone? Tears of regret aren’t the only thing left behind when reviewing the tracks that you left today on the paths of the people that you crossed.

Think about the opportunities that you will have to make tracks tomorrow and resolve to do a better job then. If you consciously approach each encounter with another as a place where your tracks will be left, it may help you do a better job. You don’t want to be tracking mud all over the place.

Are you tracking up the place? What kind of tracks will you be leaving behind? Tread carefully and thoughtfully into the future, remembering that you will be forever known by the tracks that you leave behind today.

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Posted by Norm Werner

You have to work at it…

September 19, 2020

A recent post in the Jack’s Winning Words blog featured this quote – “Seek wisdom, not knowledge. Knowledge is of the past, Wisdom is of the future.” – Lumbee

Certainly, that is good advice, but it immediately brought up the question of how does one seek wisdom. One dictionary definition of wisdom  is –

the soundness of an action or decision with regard to the application of experience, knowledge, and good judgment.

Also found on the internet – “The primary difference between the two words is that wisdom involves a healthy dose of perspective and the ability to make sound judgments about a subject while knowledge is simply knowing. Anyone can become knowledgeable about a subject by reading, researching, and memorizing facts. … Wisdom is knowing when to say it or how to apply that knowledge.”

We often refer to older people as being wise or having wisdom, mainly because they have the perspective of age to look back over things that they experienced in life and draw conclusions about how to act in the future. Some people “never learn” and repeat the same mistakes in life over and over. They are seldom known as wise people.

The Bible is full of advice about wisdom, how to gain it, how to apply it and how to differentiate between the wise man and the fool. A couple of Bible passages that I found seemed to resonate –

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (James 1:5)

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)

Many of the quotes about wisdom in the Bible are about seeking and making use of advice. I think the first quote above offers the best advice for where to seek wisdom- ask God for His help. Asking God for help understanding things that happen in life puts them into a perspective from which one can better accept and understand them – thus, become wise from them.

The second quote speaks to the type of wisdom that God grants us by using words like “peaceable”, “gentle”, and “impartial”.  God’s wisdom allows us to be “open to reason”, “full of mercy” and “sincere”. As you think about becoming wise, what more could you hope to achieve than what is found in those words?

I think a key to tuning knowledge into understanding and wisdom is that you have to work at it. Asking God for help in prayer is working at it. Taking time to cool down and think about what just happened before you react is working at it. Pausing to think before you speak is working at it. Turning the other cheek, rather than striking back, is working at it. Refusing to allow kneejerk reactions to people or events dictate the course of your life is working at it.

One can accumulate knowledge without effort, but one achieves wisdom by working at it. Take some time each morning to reflect on the events of the immediate past and ask God to help you turn that knowledge into wisdom.

You have to work at it…

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Posted by Norm Werner

It is how you make the journey, not how far you get…

September 14, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this Native American blessing –  “May every sunrise bring you hope.  May every sunset bring you peace.”

Freed went on to comment upon how the Native American view of the Great Spirit in nature that was all around them in nature influenced their lives. He lamented the lack of such recognition of God in our lives in modern times.

Perhaps the bridge between the hopes that we have at the beginning of a day and the peace one seeks at the end of each day rests on how one conducts oneself during the day. Maybe a little prayer at the beginning would help – “Dear God, please be with me today as I pursue my hopes and help me conduct myself in such a way that I will be without regrets and find peace at the end of this day”.

Things that you’ve done or those things that you left undone drive regrets. Both of those are conscious choices and not just happenstance. So, at each decision point during the day, stop and ask yourself, “Will I regret doing (or not doing) this at the end of the day?” Often just taking that little pause to think will help you make better decisions and be at peace with yourself at the end of the day.

Each day is a journey. Each has its own hopes and goals. Some days you may find that you quickly achieve your hopes and goals. On other days frustrating obstacles may pop up that prevent achieving anything towards your goals and hopes. Sometimes achieving peace at the end of one of those frustrating days is very hard. That is when you must be able to let the frustrations go, put them behind yourself and renew your hopes for a better day tomorrow. Just remind yourself that it is not how far you get each day, but rather how you conducted yourself that day.

Here is another bit of Native American wisdom that I recently saw –

“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” – Cherokee

Be at peace at the end of every day.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What sermon will you be preaching today?

August 29, 2020

In a post this past week, Pastor Freed used this quote in his Jack’s Winning Words blog – “The older I get the less I listen to what people say and the more I look at what they do.”  (Andrew Carnegie)

Later in that same post Jack quoted Edgar Guest, a poet from Detroit’s past , who wrote, “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.”

In this “high season” of political ads, we are certainly hearing many sermons from both sides. Since many, if not most, of the ads are negative in nature, if one only listened to them it would appear that no matter who we elect all is lost. The sermons being aired by both sides would tell us that both have put up a bunch of incompetent, unscrupulous scallywags for the offices that are up for votes. It is perhaps most important this year to look back at what the candidates have done and not just listen to the sermons in their ads..

But, what of our own lives? Certainly, people hear what we say. Nevertheless, do our actions match our words? What sermons do we deliver with what they see us doing each day? They may hear us saying, “I am not a racist”, but do they see that in the diversity of our friends and acquaintances and our actions towards people of color? Do they see an accepting and empathetic supporter of correcting racial injustices or can they see a frightened person of privilege trying to hold on to the advantages that they enjoy. Do your actions speak of acceptance of people of differing sexual orientation or of unfounded fears and loathing? What sermon about your concern for the welfare of others does your choice to not wear a mask in pubic or to not social distance say about you? You are preaching a sermon each day you are alive. What sermon will you be preaching today?

We have all been admonished that how we live our lives tells the world who we are and we have been given clear guidance in the Bible.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. … (Colossians 3:12-17)

And again in Ephesians 4: 29-32 –

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

What kind of sermon would your life be if you lived by those words? Wouldn’t you rather that the sermon of your life be judged because of its adherence to those pieces of advice in your actions and the choices that you make? If the sermon of your life is not being based upon advice from the Bible, what book are you using for a script? Think about what people will see you doing today. What sermon will you be preaching?

Have a great weekend. We’ll be watching your sermon.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t talk about it, live it…

August 19, 2020

I save quotes from the Jack’s Winning Words blog and quite often find that 2 or more seem to go together. Today is one of those time when a quote used by Pastor Freed today seems to go well with an earlier quote.

Today he used this quote –

“If you live your religion you will become different.”  (Dom Helder Camara)

And, I had this one saved from an earlier post –

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”  (Steve Martin)

We often see people in the news self-righteously proclaiming their religious beliefs while committing what amounts to crimes or we find out later that the supposedly pious church leader was in fact a pedophile. They were talking about religion, but not living it.

Jesus teaches the Pharisees

I’m not sure that I even like using the word religion in today’s quote, better to use faith or beliefs. The word religion carries with it too much of the baggage of dogma and fabricated doctrine with it. One of the groups that Jesus often took to task in his teaching were the Pharisees and scribes of his day (see Luke 11:37–11:54, Matthew 23:1–23:39 and Mark 12:35–12:40). Those religious posers had allowed their own egos to get in the way of their faith and preferred to talk about their religion, rather than live it.

Living one’s faith does not involve standing on street corners spouting Bible verses or yelling that the world is condemned by its sins. That is not the difference that Helder-Camara was referencing.  The differences are in what you do and how you do those thing, rather than what you say or how you call attention to yourself. The difference is found in acts of kindness and concern for the well-being of others.  The difference is in the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment that one gets from volunteering to help others, not in any news coverage of that event. The difference is not in calling attention to one’s self and accomplishments but rather in seeing the joy that you bring to others through your actions. You become different when you make a difference in the lives of others.

So, rather than telling someone that you will pray for them, so that they can see how religious yo are, actually do something to help them. Don’t just talk about your faith, put it into action. Volunteer  to help at your local food bank. Work in the background packing food for Meal on Wheels. Make phone calls to shut-ins to see if they are OK. Offer to mow the lawn of that elderly neighbor who can no longer do it himself or herself. It is the sweat from your actions that truly demonstrates your faith, not you words. You will become a different person, a happier person and a person whom others hold up as an example of how to live your faith.

To paraphrase the Nike slogan. Just live it!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Have you made up your mind about today?

August 18, 2020

Pastor Freed had an interesting quote today in his blog , Jack’s Winning Words – “I’ve made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life.  I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I’ve never emerged.”  (Patch Adams) 

Freed wrote that Patch is both a physician and a clown who provides care and relief to children and adults in hospitals around the world. His story was made into a movie in 1998 staring Robin William as Adams. I have this vision in my head of a clown coming into the hospital room wearing his stethoscope. Of the two services that he provides, the relief from the anxiety that his clown persona provides may be the more important to many.

The quote from Dr. Patch not only capsulizes his philosophy for life, but also poses a challenge for all of us. We must each day make up our minds what kind of day we are going to have. Perhaps the key is to be found in the “endless sea of gratitude” that Adams references.

Rather than just jumping into each day, perhaps in anticipation or dread of some event that might happen that day or with a sense of the mindless drudgery ahead, what if we took the time to express our gratitude to God that He has given us another day. What if we asked God for His help to make this a great day? What if we started out each day on that positive note? Would we ever have another bad day? If we make up our minds and start with a prayer for God’s help, I suspect that we can be like Patch and never have another bad day.

The key is having that attitude of gratitude as you face the day. That attitude leads you to other thoughts – How can I do more? How can I do better? Who can I help with their day? You will stop thinking of yourself as the “victim” when problems arise during the day and start, instead, seeing yourself as part of the solution. You can think to yourself, “Well, God knew that this was going to happen, so he must have also equipped me to deal with it.” You know that because we have been told in the Bible – God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Have you made up your mind about today? Are you starting out today with a sense of gratitude and confidence that God will be with you throughout the day? All it takes is a moment of prayer before you head out.  Let us pray.

Now get out there and be part of the solution!

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Posted by Norm Werner

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