“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Too many of us don’t heed the words of Emerson and start each day with a heavy load of baggage from the past. Those who can start each day with a “that was then, this is now”
frame of mind have a huge advantage in life. The absurdity of clinging to the past is demonstrated in the ads for Let Go, the web site for selling stuff that you don’t really need anymore. A person dangling over a cliff but stubbornly holding onto a bowling ball is no more absurd than us carrying around the worry or guilt about something that has already happened or may happen some time in the future. There is little that we can really do about either, but they both could consume immense amounts of our time and energy.
It is important that we move sad memories of losses of loved ones from the front of our minds, where they may weigh us down, to a place in the fond memories section of our minds, where we can revisit the memories of good times as often aas we’d like. Worry and fear about things that may happen in the future need to be placed in little metal boxes and put aside to be opened and dealt with, should any of those things come to pass. Mistakes made yesterday need to be assigned a place in our mind’s knowledge base under the lessons learned category.
It might be helpful to end eac
h day by putting away the things that you’ve been thinking about or worrying about or regret having done. File a place to file them in your mind or resolve to discard them, but don’t keep them for tomorrow. Those things, those mistakes, those doubts, those losses are over, so let them go. They are so yesterday. Erase them as you would a blackboard at school. Tomorrow you start with a clean slate that has yet to have any failures or successes written upon it.
Perhaps using a standard little business trick might help. The first step is to write down those things that you are carrying around with you from the past. Then prioritize that list from most important to least important. Then work your way down the list, using the thought process:
- Is there anything that I can do to change this? (If it is in the past, the obvious answer is NO)
- If I can’t change it, is there any value in keeping it in mind?
- What can learn from this to help me in the future?
- How can I let go of this?
Just going through that process may help you put the things on your list in the right perspective in your mind. It will, at a minimum put a less emotional and more rational
light on them. If you feel that yo still need a little more help in dealing with them, remember that God is always right there, ready to offload any burden that you want to give Him. The serenity that Emerson mentioned may be found in the act of prayer and the decision to let’s God’s will for you to prevail.
Have a great and unencumbered long weekend. Put all of yesterday’s nonsense behind you and get on with life.
Posted by Norm Werner 
Corey) – from the Jack’s Winning Words blog. Jack went on to write a little about Professor Irwin Corey, who died recently at age 102. For those who don’t remember the Professor, here’s a link to one of his appearances on the show Late Night with David Letterman in 1983 – 
decision to change direction. All of the programs are really there to support that decision and change in direction your life.
yourself. Some call it soul searching, you may call it meditation or whatever. The point is to temporarily let go of the things that clutter you mind and focus upon what it is that you want out of life and whether the path that you are on will take you there or not.
lose track of the goals that initially set out to achieve or the dream that originally launched us on our journey. No one sets out to work until they drop or to ignore their family and friends in pursuit of more success at work. They just end up with their heads down charging full speed ahead so much that they miss the turns and changes in direction that are needed some times to reach their ultimate goals in life. Neither does anyone really define their goals in life purely in terms of money or position. People who take the time to really reflect on their goals in life tend to use terms like happiness or fulfillment or usefulness or love to define their ultimate goals.
really want to end up. It’s almost never too late to change directions, otherwise you will end up getting to where you’re going. If you do take that time during prayer, you might find the directions that God can provide for you to be the ultimate GPS system for your journey. Just like you do in your car, use prayer to reset your destination and then listen to the directions that God gives you.
and the requests that we make for someone to “Friend me”. I don’t think we really put on a special face for each of the people on our “friends” list on Facebook. Those special faces are reserved for people with whom we have a real friendship, such as that described by Aristotle – “Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” 
a spouse or partner in life. Marriages (partnerships) that last a lifetime have that longevity because of that ability to share your soul.
In church services there is an oft-used line from Number 6:24-26, “may God’s face shine upon you.” Perhaps that is what Jack meant when he wrote “God is like that”. When God is your friend, He shares his soul in our bodies and it shines through on our faces. If that doesn’t put a smile on your face, nothing will.
to
develop. Many times we might avoid people who seem to be different from us and our normal friends, because they are unusual – not like us. Maybe they look different or dress differently. Maybe they have a nose ring or spiked hair. Perhaps they are a different color or perhaps speak with an accent that is unfamiliar to us. For whatever reason, we choose to avoid them and go with what we know. How sad for us.
introduced to a different set of life experiences than we had, which shaped their view of the world. We may even discover how insular and one-dimensional our lives have been, compared to the experiences of others.
people trooped by you, so that you can meet them. You have to get out in the community and go places and do things that are different.
to shut-in through the Meals-on-Wheels program, or volunteering at a local soup kitchen or an organization like Community Sharing. Whatever the job, it does get you out of the ordinary and expose you to things and people that you would not ordinarily meet. Whether you realize it at the time, or not; your life is richer for the experiences.
Recently I read a question in in one of those newspaper advice columns concerning how to get people to accept and form new opinions about someone who apparently acted like quite a “jerk” when he was younger, but who has now matured and is a better person. Many people face that same dilemma in life, especially young men who really did act like jerks when they were younger. Some people don’t seem to be able to give them the benefit of the doubt, once they matured enough to begin acting in a more acceptable manner. Most grow out of that phase. Unfortunately some of those young men get themselves trapped into feeling like that have to continue to act like jerks, because that’s what people expect of them.
that there is no real reason for motorcycles to have loud, un-muffled and annoying exhausts other than the riders need to attract attention to themselves. They are saying, “Mommy, look at me” by being as noisy as they can be. They never outgrew the need to be a jerk to get attention.
So, maybe Dyer was wrong. Maybe what other people think of me is my business. It certainly is within my control. If I don’t want to be considered to be shifty and dishonest, then I can decide not act in a manner that would lead to that conclusion. If I want to be considered to be dependable and a good friend, then I can be there when needed and be the good listener that is oft needed in times of crisis. If I want to be accepted, I have to accept others, too. If I want to be someone who is loved, I need to give love. What others think of me are opinions that reflect the behaviors from me that they see. And that is my business.
Every person who lives somewhere along that spectrum is different and must be accepted with those differences.
I did decide that, from time to time, I would pursue the approach of looking at posted articles that deal with or focus upon how a particular condition or illness makes one feel. The reason is that I believe that gaining an understanding what is causing a person to act or react the way they are is an important first step towards accepting them as they are and helping them, if they wish to be helped. It is just as important in learning when and how to back off and let the person have the space and time to deal with what is going on in their life. A recurring theme that one sees in the writings of people struggling with some of these issues is how annoying the bumbling efforts to help from well-meaning, but ill informed, “friends” can be. I am not a fan of the “intervention” approach to this topic.
believe that I went through an episode (or bout) of depression in my own life a decade or so ago. For me it was just an episode and not a recurring or continuous thing. Many who suffer from depression cannot say that and must seek help in order to live a “normal” life. So, I set out to find an article on-line about what depression feels like, and found the site – 
So, what does reading through this article this do for you? It gives you yet another “frame of reference” with which to better equip you to accept the person in your life who may be suffering through depression, whether episodic or on-going. It may help you recognize the symptoms that are manifested when one is depressed and perhaps better understand why they do certain things. Perhaps it will help you to not make the mistake of writing off that person or ignoring their actions in hopes that they will just “snap out of it”. If you have a friend or loved one in your family who may be suffering with depression, you may find this article at the same site to be helpful –
Rather than getting down on someone for being a “wet blanket” during the holidays, take the time to think about how they feel and find a way to help them feel more accepted and comfortable within a setting that is perhaps frightening and overwhelming to them. Sitting quietly with them in front of a fire and giving them a hug, may be the best present that you can give this Holiday season.
because Ben Franklin made popular the idea of making comparisons of alternatives using lists like their attributes or the good and bad of a decision for either alternative. I often use a Franklin Chart in me real estate business to show sellers the pluses and minuses that I see for their houses, as a method of justifying my assessment of its market value.
On the left side of the list (the things that we can’t control) are some obvious entries – the weather, political elections, the stock market, a loved one’s death, things that have already happened, and someone else’s actions. One the right side of the chart (the things we do control), you should find this entry at or near the top of the list – how you react to things that happen. That is really one thing that you have total control over.
seeking solutions to things on that list that cannot be solved leads only to frustration, anger and depression. Letting go of those fixations about knowing or solving life’s mysteries frees you to get on with your life; it allows you to focus upon the things that you can control – how you deal with things in life. If you get the reaction part right, that will also allow you to spend more time on the pro-active parts of life – doing good with your life, instead of just reacting to bad.
struggling to understand some bad things that have happened in your life (maybe the breakup of a relationship or marriage or even a death in the family). Perhaps you have been stubbornly beating your head against the frustrating wall of denial or disbelief in search for answers or solutions. Maybe it’s time to right those things down. Put them all on the left hand side of your chart. Now, look over to the right hand side of the chart and focus upon the enties there.
or to change what has happened is fighting a losing battle against God’s will. Accepting that those events were God’s will, that they have happened and that they cannot be changed is a key step towards the right side of the chart. Once there you can ask for God’s help with how you react to them.
forgive that person? Were you even able to relate to their decision?
amount of analytical effort, no matter how “scientific” is it touted to be, will really allow you to predict the future and certainly nothing that you do while sitting and worrying about it will change the future. The only thing that you can do to have an impact on your future is take actions today that will change your personal impact on the world.
priest and the Levite did the man whom the Samaritan helped? You have choices all day long, every day, between doing right or wrong, good or evil, something or nothing, helping or ignoring. All of those choices are much more important than spending time worrying about the future.
what this will mean to them. Many went to bed not knowing the outcome; some did not go to bed at all. And then the sun came up.
themselves for their common good and the good of the world. We print the foundation of our beliefs as a people on our money – In God we Trust.
I’ve posted here before about dealing with life’s setbacks or roadblocks and one key thing that may not have been said as well as Jack’s post puts it is the ability to erase it (put it behind you) and move on – to be given a new leaf or to give yourself a new leaf and not to dwell on your past failures or disappointments. Use your eraser.
have happened in the past. There is no real way to do what they do on the TV program Timeline and go back in time to make things different, so why waste a lot of time beating yourself up for your past mistakes. They happened and you don’t get a do-over. You do still have the opportunity to do-better in the future. Use your eraser.
Some spend their time looking for scapegoats – someone else to blame those things on. Still others just can’t give themselves a break and make bad decisions worse by beating themselves up over and over again. A few get bogged down in a bad case of the coulda, woudla, shoulda’s and can’t seem to get out. Use your eraser.
and the ability to go on, forgiven and renewed. Perhaps the best explanation for that metaphor is that God is the Great Eraser and prayer is the way you use it. If you honestly pray for forgiveness God will grant that to you and grant you the peace to go on with your life. Use your Eraser.
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