But, you didn’t…

January 15, 2020

“You can’t regret making what you thought was the best decision at the time.”  (Carol Channing) – quote from the Jack’s Winning Words blog tody.

We call it second guessing and sometimes we do it to ourselves. You coulda (but, you didn’t). you  woulda (but, you didn’t), you shoulda (but, you didn’t). Spending time regretting things that are already over is a worse waste of time that spending time worrying about things that may happen in the future. One can rationalize time spent worrying about the future as being time spent in planning, and some of it may be just that. There is no way to rationalize the time that you spend in regret for decisions actions of the past. Spending some time to learn from a mistake or poor decision is alright, so long as you accept that it is over and there is no way to change whatever happened.

One side benefit that can come out of trying to learn from your mistakes is the opportunity to examine your decision making process. Are you basing your decisions on sound evidence and facts, or do you allow pre-conceived notions or prejudices to creep into the process? What are the beliefs that you base your decisions upon – what provides you with your moral compass?  Do you have the courage of your convictions; or, do you just find a way to go with the flow of the crowd, even if that direction is bad?

Every decision that you make has an alternative that you need to weigh, sometimes many alternatives. At a minimum, there is usually the “do nothing “alternative. Doing nothing, when you should have acted is probably the most regretted decision that people make. So, perhaps your first decision is that you will do something. We see stories all the time on the Nightly News about people who rush in to help someone out of a burning car or house. They made the quick decision to act, rather than just standing there pondering the alternatives. Of course, there are usually those who decide to take out their smartphones and capture the events on video rather than jump in and help. One has to wonder if they regret that later. If you remember the final episode of the Seinfeld TV series, you know, as they did, that it is wrong to be a voyeur in life.  

So, learn from your past decisions, but live for the future. Coulda, woulda, shoulda about the past is as big, if not bigger, waste of time than Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt is about the future. Perhaps you should start each day by putting the past behind you and focusing upon making good decisions today. One way to do that is to check your moral compass before you set out and asking God to help you make those good decisions. Saying a little prayer that asks for God’s help in your decision-making brings Him out of your subconscious and into the conscious process that you go through to make those decisions. The impact of that can be dramatic and certainly cuts down on the regrets that you might otherwise have later on.

Have a great day. Ask for God’s help. Make good decisions. Have no regrets.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Light up the world…share the love.

January 9, 2020

I need to share Jack’s entire post from today’s entry in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words –

“Love multiplies and adds as we divide it with others.”  (Arthur C. Nielsen –adapted)  A leader was trying to illustrate the truth of this quotation to a group of young people.  Each person was given an unlit candle.  The leader then lit a candle and passed the flame to a candle that was unlit and that one passed it to the next…and so on.  Then she commented: “Look at all of these candles…from a single flame which is not diminished.  “Love multiplies” as we share it!

It seems to me that the two key words in that whole post are the words “love” and “share”. Jesus came to earth as God’s way of expressing his love for his people and recast their perception of Him from a God to be feared into a God to be loved and embraced through His Son. Jesus preached a message of love for one another and in deed left that as his final commandment in John 13:34 – “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.”

God, as interpreted by the religious leaders of Jesus’ day was a God to be feared. Those same leaders created and imposed rigid instructions for keeping God happy by following the rituals that they designed. Jesus threw out those rules and substituted love for the fear that was the foundation of the beliefs at the time.

Jesus may be thought of as that first candle in the story that Jack related in his post. The light of that first candle was the love that Jesus shared even unto His death on the cross. That light has been passed from person to person and from generation to generation ever since. That original love is undiminished, just as the light from the original candle was undiminished as it was shared.

Our mission, it would seem, is not to sit there with an unlit candle or a candle whose light we keep to ourselves; but, rather, to share the light and the flame of our candle with others. Sharing the good news of Christ is not about preaching at people, it is about sharing the love that we inherited when we accepted Christ and lit our candle.

You need not get up on a soapbox to share that love. If you just reach out to others who may be in need, you are sharing the love. If you greet others with a cheerful voice and a sincere interest in them, you are sharing the love. If you live your life as an example of the love that Christ has for you, you will naturally share and spread the light of your candle.

As you start out each day, take a moment to turn up the wick of your candle through prayer, then go out, and light up the world by sharing your love. The world will be a brighter place because of your light. Share the Love.

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Posted by Norm Werner

But, what ought we to do?

January 8, 2020

Jack Freed used this quote today in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “There are two freedoms…the false where one is free to do what he likes; the true where one is free to do what he ought.”  (Charles Kingsley)

I suspect that, upon reading that quote, most immediately thought of the first example of freedom that the quote references. Indeed, it is that self-centered, self-righteous and uncaring definition of freedom to do whatever we like that is at the root of much of today’s political and social turmoil. The “freedom” that some proclaim they are seeking is really a form of anarchy, with little to no concern for the welfare of others. They say, “I’ve got my health care covered and I don’t care about you having none” or maybe, “I’ve got a home and food on the table. Go find your own place to live and food to eat, but don’t bother me.” That is not really freedom; it is a formula for the failure of a society.

So, how is doing what one ought to do – caring for others, helping others, sacrificing for others – the real freedom?  It begins by first accepting Jesus into your life, as written in John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

But, free to do what?We can see what we ought to be doing in the Bible in Galatians 5:14 –  For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” And, again in Galatians 6:2 – Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Maybe figuring out what we ought to be doing isn’t that hard after all. The hard part is letting go of the self-interest and self-centeredness that is so prevalent in our society today.

Freedom is not all about you doing whatever you want. It’s about you seeing what needs to be done to help others around you and taking what actions you can to provide that help. Maybe you are barely providing for your own family with what you make at work. You probably still have some spare time that you could use to help others. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, drive for Meals on Wheels, work in the local food bank sorting food or maybe stuffing food in backpacks for the local Blessings-in-a-Backpack program. There are tons of ways to help others available in any community.

Do what you ought to be doing and what you know is right. Start by embracing Jesus in your life and the rest will come naturally. Set yourself free.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Stepping off in the right direction…

January 7, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed shared these quotes – “Tip-toe if you must, but take the step.”  (Unknown)  Laurie sent this quote along with the advice…“Sometime the smallest step in the right direction turns out to be the biggest step of your life.” 

Back in May of 2014 (doesn’t that seem like a long time ago, now), I wrote about taking the journey to success – see  https://normsmilfordblog.com/2014/05/03/start-your-journey-to-success/. I was focused then upon the planning and  preparatory steps, as much as the journey itself. The movie What about Bob, was about Bob learning to take “baby steps” in his journey through an angst filled life.

But what about me or you? Maybe the key word in Laurie’s quote from above is the word “right”. How do we know what is the right direction in which to step off on our journey through life?

When it comes to directions, most of us have abandoned the use of maps and embraced the modern convenience of GPS systems, either in our phones or in our cars (or both).  We just poke in an address and the GPS system shows and tells us how to get there, with turn-by-turn instructions . If only navigating through life were as simple.

Perhaps it is. We all have a life directions GPS available to us, if we only know how to use it – it is called faith. If we call upon God to guide us through life we will never be lost and we will always get to the destination that he has in mind for us. We may not always understand the route that he is taking us on; however, if we trust in Him we will get to where we are supposed to be. The interesting thing is that we start out the journey with an unknown end- point, but we have faith that we will end up at the right place. If we really trust God we can then relax and enjoy the journey.

Perhaps we should start each day by checking in with God to set our direction for the day. It’s OK to let him know where you think you’d like to end up – what your goals are for the day – but you need to end your daily GPS reset by resetting your belief and faith that where ever you end up is where God wanted you to be. The easiest and quickest way to reset you r GPS for life is by saying the little prayer – “Not my will, but thy will be done.”  Then step off in the direction in which God has pointed you and enjoy the journey. Perhaps that will be the biggest step in your life.

Step off in the right direction today.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Is God your Obi Wan?

January 6, 2020

Jack used this quote from Star Wars in today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”  (Princess Leia)

For many the entire Start Wars saga was always a thinly disguised tale of faith and religion. The battle of good vs. evil and the mysterious “Force” seeming to take their cues from various religious beliefs. It does not take a giant leap to imagine substituting the word God for Obe Wan Kenobi in the quote above or using “God” instead of “Force” in the phrase “May the Force be with you.”

Jack asked the question in his post, “Who is your Obe Wan?” Within the context of characters in the Star Wars movies, he chose Yoda as his Obe Wan. Many men might identify with Obe Wan, or perhaps Luke Skywalker or maybe Hans Solo. Jack did write that Princess Leia was the most popular character of all.  

In creating the Star Wars universe and saga, George Lucas took advantage of our need to find a way to equate God to things that we can see and experience. He turned our faith into the Force and gave faces to characters who might otherwise have been angels or spirits. He created the epic struggle of good vs. evil by creating a host of fallen angels that he called “the Dark Side.” Whether the Emperor or Darth Vader represented the Devil is open to question, since both were portrayed as evil personified.

The whole Star Wars phenomena is just one example of man’s need to try to put God and faith into some smaller, more familiar context that he can understand.  The whole of religion is really man’s attempt to explain God and faith by creating structure, rules, and pageantry that the common person can relate to and practice. Most religions have developed elaborate explanations of what life after death will be like. There are many names for where we supposedly go – Heaven, Valhalla,  Swarga Loka, Nirvana, Jannah, and Tiān are just a few of the places where people believe that souls go after death.

Man’s imagination is so limited that he must couch things like heaven in familiar terms and descriptions that he can understand. It is that mental barrier between what we can understand and what we can just accept and believe that holds man back from a better relationship with God. If, instead of Obe Wan Kenobe, we said and truly believed, “Help me God, you are my only hope”; we might experience the relationship with God that He has in mind for us. Trying to understand God and putting Him in our own small context is a manifestation of our own egos.  It is that leap of faith that we take when we finally admit that “I don’t understand, but I believe” that clears the way for a direct relationship with God. One cannot understand “the peace that passes all understanding” by continuing to struggle to understand it. Just accept it.

So, make God your Obe Wan and the Force will be with you. Have a great week ahead. May God be with you.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Epiphany, what’s Epiphany?

January 4, 2020

Monday, January 6, is Epiphany, a day to remember the three wise men who journeyed bearing gifts  to see the baby Jesus. If you Google Epiphany you will get lots of information about how it is celebrated in other countries, some with parades of people dressed up as the Wise Men. Not so much in the United States. In fact, I’m surprised that some merchants aren’t advertising Epiphany sales, since they seem to take every opportunity to have a sale.  

If you Google Epiphany, one of the suggested definitions is for the term “epiphany moment”, which is more how we use the word today, From the Google definition –  

Epiphany is an “Aha!” moment. As a literary device, epiphany (pronounced ih-pif–uh-nee) is the moment when a character is suddenly struck with a life-changing realization which changes the rest of the story. Often, an epiphany begins with a small, everyday occurrence or experience.

 For Christians, that small, everyday occurrence was the birth of Jesus. That event certainly changed things in our lives.  Churches will celebrate Epiphany this weekend, but few of us in the pews probably give it a lot of thought. After all, there are no Epiphany decorations that we can put up and Monday isn’t even a national holiday. It is however, the end of the 12 days of Christmas and does provide us with yet another opportunity to pause and thank God for sending us His Son – that was our “epiphany moment”

I have found a way to at least acknowledge Epiphany at my house. Every year, as part of our  Christmas decorations, I light up a large star of Bethlehem decoration that is placed on the second floor of the house. It can be seen from quite a distance. So, even though I took down the rest of the Christmas decorations yesterday, the star remains lit up at night, through Epiphany. It is a symbol of the star that guided the Wise Men to the manger in Bethlehem. I  hope that it give pause for reflection to those who see it as they come over the hill towards my house.

How do you celebrate Epiphany? Did you even know or remember that Monday is Epiphany? Does one say Happy Epiphany as a greeting? On Easter Morning we greet other Christians by saying, “He is risen”; maybe for Epiphany we should greet others with the phrase, ”He is born”. Was the birth of Jesus so long ago an epiphany moment in your life? Maybe Monday will be different from all other Monday’s this year, if you pause to reflect on that epiphany moment so long ago that lives on today.

Let Epiphany change your life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be grateful on New Year’s Eve.

December 31, 2019

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Jack Freed used this quote – “Thank you God for this good life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough.”  (Garrison Keillor) 

Jack went on to write about being thankful for our lives on New Year’s Eve. I went looking for more quotes about being thankful and found these thought provoking gems –

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” -Oprah Winfrey

Many people use New Year’s Eve to look ahead and hope for things that they don’t have. Better if pause to they look back a bit, not in nostalgia, in thankfulness for the life that God gave them in the past year.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” -Meister Eckhart

For some it is hard to see what they should be thankful for at the end of the year. Perhaps they don’t stop to consider that they made it to the end of the year. That is especially true of people living in war zones or under duress.

Habeeb Akande expressed his gratitude for making it thorugh another year this way – “I may not be where I want to be but I’m thankful for not being where I used to be.”

So this New Year’s Eve, express your gratitude to God and anyone else who is there to listen. Not to do so is like –

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” -William Arthur Ward

Be thankful and be happy. Express your gratitude. Give the present of your gratitude.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” -Melody Beattie

Gratitude is a thing to be given and to get from others, sometimes when you need it the most.

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” -Albert Schweitze

The pass on that spark by sharing your gratitude with others.

“Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.” -Ralph Marston

So, use this New Year’s Eve, not only to look ahead, but also to look back in gratitude on the blessings of the past year. At midnight say, “Thank you” to God for the life that He has given you.

“‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, and understanding.” -Alice Walker

I for one am grateful to be here on another New Year’s Eve and to be able to share with you my gratitude that you read my humble blog.

Have a great New Year!

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Posted by Norm Werner

It takes discipline…

December 28, 2019

“The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.”  (Kin Hubbard) – quote used in the Jack’s Winning Words blog some time back.

People taking more when they eat, instead of taking less, is the root cause of a much of the current obesity problem in America. The proof of that is the success of the various weight loss programs and products, all of which impose some discipline on the practitioners. I recall my mother saying to me, on occasions when I took too much and couldn’t finish a meal, “Your eyes were bigger than your stomach.”  If one does that often enough, the stomach grows to accommodate the eyes.

The same quote might be used  for many things in life. Many have the tendency to take as much as they can get, rather than leave some for someone else or to share with someone else. In basketball, a player might be called a “ball hog”, if he/she consistently tries to score themselves, rather than make a pass to another player who might be open for a shot. In business, one might be thought of as a “grandstander”, if he/she takes all of the credit for what was a team effort. In life in general, it is the willingness to share, to give to good causes or to make sacrifices so that others might benefit that defines taking less. It is somewhat rare for small children to share what they think is theirs and some never grow out of those feelings of possessive greed.

As Christians, we are called (indeed instructed) to take less and give more. When the rich man asked Jesus what he need to do to get into heaven and Jesus told him to sell everything that had and give the money to the poor, he wandered away in dismay, because he could not give up what he had. We are not called upon to give up everything that we have; yet, in a way, we are. We are called upon to let go of the need to have everything and to refocus instead upon doing good wherever and whenever we can. We are called upon to have discipline and compassion and to let them guide our actions, instead of greed.

So, maybe we should recast Hubbard’s quote to read – “The hardest thing is to keep less, when we should be giving more.”

Jesus never said it would be easy to follow Him; but he did promise the greatest reward of all, if you do. Do you have the discipline to take less?

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Posted by Norm Werner

A world in search of its Golden Calf.

December 25, 2019

Today is Christmas Day, 2019, but already some of the local stores have put away Christmas and New Year’s Day stuff and have their Valentine’s Day merchandise out. By the time that we get to February, the Valentine’s Day stuff will be gone and the St. Patrick’s Day merchandise will be everywhere. That won’t last long, because they have to get the Easter stuff up before mid-February.

We have become a society obsessed with staying ahead of things and maintaining a fast pace. We have no time to relax, because we might miss something. We may not know what that is, but we constantly check Facebook or Instagram to see what that might be.

What are we looking for? What is driving this need for activity and speed in our lives? Why do we rush to find “the next big thing?” What are we in search of?

Perhaps a story from the Bible will shed some light on this question. Recall when Moses led his people out of bandage in Egypt and went up the mountain to talk to God. The people grew restless and impatient for Moses’ return. They wanted something to worship and look to for comfort in the midst of their trying times, so they created an idol – a statue of a calf made out of gold. Unlike their mysterious God, whom none but Moses could talk to or see, this idol was something concrete to them. They could see it and touch it; so, it gave them some level of comfort. Of course, Moses had a fit when he came down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments in hand.

man looking through telescope

In today’s world, the next big thing, or at the least, the things that we don’t yet have, have become our Golden Calf, the things that we idolize. We are impatient to get them, because we think they will bring us comfort and peace; however, when we get each one we find ourselves longing for the next big thing the next thing that we don’t have. We are obsessed with things, with success, with experiences; with whatever we believe is missing in our lives that would make us happy.

The reality for most is that what is missing in their lives is God. If they allowed God into their life and embraced Him, they would experience the “peace that passes all understanding” and know the joy and contentment that this brings. Worldly possessions and pursuits become meaningless when compared to the joy of knowing Him.

On this Christmas Day, take a moment to reflect upon your life. What is important to you? What are you pursuing or searching for? What things do you think you need to make you happy? If you got those things, would you stop and be happy or would you still be running after the next big thing? What is your Golden Calf?

Then ask yourself, where is God in your life? Is He a priority in your life? If He was a priority in your life, do you believe that you would need/want that next big  thing? Stop your searching. The next big thing is right there with you. Embrace God and be happy with your life.

Merry Christmas! May you know God’s peace.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Doubts and second thoughts…

December 23, 2019

A recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog had this headliner quote – “If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt.”  (Rene Descartes)

It is almost a rite of passage that the young doubt almost everything as they mature. For many this occurs while they are in High School or maybe in College. They doubt or question everything that they were told by their parents as children. A major catalyst that kicks of this period of soul searching is the independence that most children become aware of as they hit their teenage years. As they are trusted by themselves more and maybe become more independent for things like transportation and money they also recognize that they no longer seek the opinion and approval of their parents for every decision that they face. That independence includes making decision about what is right and wrong in day-to-day life. That quickly escalates into doubting, or at least calling into question, decisions that have been made for them by their parents.

Often that period of doubting includes questioning their religious beliefs. Some are able to separate the religion part from the faith part of their beliefs, but many are confused by the interplay of the two. In that period of rebellion against prior parental decisions, regular attendance at church often goes by the wayside. Sometimes the faith of the young adult becomes muddled in the doubts about the practice of religion. The rush to feel free of the requirements of particular religious practices or dogma can leave the questioning young mind adrift, with nothing to anchor their faith and no way to put it into practice. Fortunately, most have second thoughts about completely abandoning their faith along with the practices of their specific religion.  Sometimes that leads to experimenting with various alternative religious practices. Some seek an alternative in Buddhism or other non-Christian religions, but most eventually find a way to rationalize the practices of some practicing religious group with their faith.

Young children tend to accept without questioning what their parents tell them. For a while, both Santa and God are real to them. The belief in Santa may be the first childhood beliefs to be discarded, along with fairies, goblins, ghosts and witches. Eventually the religious beliefs that were given to us by our parents are also discarded. At that point, either we develop our own, new beliefs, based upon our faith; or, we continue searching for meaning in life. How many times have you heard a younger person say that they are still trying to “find myself”? What they are searching for is something to have faith in; something to replace that childhood faith that they discarded. The good news is that most are found again by the Good Shepard and their faith is restored. One side benefit of having those doubts or second thoughts about your faith as an adult is that the conviction of your beliefs becomes much stronger when made as an adult.

Maybe you went through that process of questioning your faith as a youth, or maybe some traumatic event later in life caused you to have doubts about God and your faith in Him. Maybe you asked the question, “How could a loving God let this happen to me?” Instead, you should be thanking that loving God for helping you get through that event. Whether you realized it at the time or not, you turned to Him in that troubled time; because, in the back of your mind, you realized that He was the only one there with you and the only one who could help you.

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”

I believe that the same can be said about our faith. Doubting or questioning your religious practices doesn’t necessarily call your faith into question, but does usually cause you to examine it Examining your faith does not kill it and can make it stronger by stripping away the man-made parts of religion that may be troubling you. In the final analysis, your faith starts with the relationship that you have with God. What trappings of religion you want to embrace from that base is up to you. As long as that remains the foundation of your beliefs, you have nothing to doubt.

Have a great Christmas by putting the Christ part first. No doubt.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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