Your mom was right. Be nice to people…

November 27, 2017

From the Jack’s Winning Words blog of today comes this quote – “Be nice to people…maybe it will be unappreciated, unreciprocated or ignored, but spread love anyway.  We rise by lifting others.”  (Germany Kent)

I’ve never quite understood those who see life as a zero-sum game in which they only win if others lose. They are people who are sometimes generously called “competitive” by others. They see no value in lifting up others, but would rather climb failureshigher by climbing over the backs of others. They see others as losers or obstacles to be overcome, defeated or discarded. Theirs is truly a sad existence.

Jack went on to comment that Google had done a study that showed that teams in business made up of people who liked and supported each other generally did better than teams made up of “competitive” people. I’ve gone through enough team building exercises in my business career to realize that finding a way to recognize and use the unique talents that each individual brings to the group makes for a stronger and more successful team.

Another saying from an earlier post to Jack’s blog also seems appropriate within the context of this discussion on being nice to others –

“The only moral lesson which is suited for a child—the most important lesson for every time of life—is this: Never hurt anybody.”  (Rousseau)

predjuicesThe inverse of being nice to others is most often causing them some hurt, whether it be just their feelings or otherwise. Dismissing the abilities and contributions of others is hurtful to them and, in the long run, to the efforts of the team. Ignoring others points of view or their questions about your point of view on things is missing valuable feedback. If nothing else, a questions that seems to be based upon not understanding what you have in mind clearly points out that you have not been able to articulate your point of view or plan. If the person questioning your plan has those doubts or misunderstandings, then others will too and you need to rethink either the plan itself or how you explain it to others. That is a valuable insight that you need to take into consideration.

Stepping out of the business world, it is important that we each do our part in making the world a better place. That starts by how you interact with those around you during the day. I thought of an analogy that is based on some video games that I’ve played in the past. Some of them had little “health meters” embedded in them that showed the relativemeter-healthy health of the participant. These were games in which you could find things that improved your health or things could happen to you which took away from your health. You could always tell whether something happening in the game was adding to or detracting from your health.

Life is a little like those games. As you meet people during the day, do those encounters add to or detract from your state of mind (your “health”)? What does someone encountering you get from it – an addition to their health or a downer that takes away from their mental health? That part is up to you and that is where being nice to others comes in. Being nice to others is not a passive thing; it requires work on your part. Showing them love means showing them the respect to listen to what they have to say, when you ask, “How are you?” Being nice means pausing from your busy schedule to take those moments to interact with them in a way that is more meaningful than a tossed off greeting as you pass on the street. Being nice means that you give them a lift on their “health meter” and hopefully you see a rise on your meter, too.

So, be aware of the potential impact that you could have on others this week, both positive and negative. Go out and be nice; spread the love and move their health meters up, always aware that your health meter will be rising, too.

Have a great and healthy week! Be nice to people.

 

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A good return on your investment…

October 23, 2017

From recent posts on the Jack’s Winning Words blog come these two quotes that just seem to belong together…

“Be nice to people…maybe it will be unappreciated, unreciprocated, or ignored, but spread love anyway.  We rise by lifting others.”  (Germany Kent)

“What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.”  (Oprah)

What a nice way to start the week off, by getting in a giving frame of mind. The Bible says, “Give and it will be given to you” – Luke 6:38

When we hear the word “give” our thoughts immediately turn to our wallets and money. There are certainly more than enough appeals going on at any one time to empty out ourdonate 2 wallets and we are a generous and compassionate people. However, what the Bible and these two quotes really mean at their core it to give of yourself – your time, your attention and your love. Give that to others and it truly will come back to you.

What does it cost you to be nice to people? The time and attention and love that you show to someone else by being nice to them doesn’t come out of your wallet, it comes from your heart and it is more precious than anything that you might have in your wallet.

homeless-beggarWalking by a beggar on the street and perhaps tossing a few cents or a dollar in their cup is really a form of ignoring them and their plight. You make them go away in your mind, because you tossed that money their way. After all it’s too much of a bother to stop and talk to them, to try to find out how they got there and what would really help them escape the cycle of poverty that they are in. Our government tends to take that approach all too often.

You may not see a beggar today; but, there are hundreds of people that you might meet who are hungering for someone to talk to or from whom they would appreciate some acknowledgement and perhaps the sharing of a friendly smile. If you ask someone, “How ae you doing?” and they start to tell you about an issue in their life; do you mentally saybeing kind 1 here’s a dollar and wish you could walk away or do you pay attention and offer your support?

You don’t have to try to solve other people’s problems for them; however, by listing, empathizing, and perhaps offering your advice; you may help them see how to solve their problems themselves. At a minimum, you may make them feel better and perhaps you will feel your boat rise a little too by helping them raise theirs.

So, be nice to others this week. I think you’ll see a good return on that investment.