DISCONNECTED…

November 7, 2020

I’ve been trying for some time to put my finger on how to describe the feelings that I have about the current state of things in the world and in my life. The word “disconnected” keeps popping up and I think it is perfect to describe that feeling. The COVID-19 pandemic has turned everyone’s world upside down and for all of us it has led to disconnects. Disconnects from our normal work world. Disconnects from our normal social world. In addition, disconnects from our normal religious world.

Many have been sent home to work, cutting us off from the normal interactions that we have at work and from the sense if identity that comes from those interactions. The normal conference room meetings, hallway conversations and day-to-day job activities in the workplace provide a big part of the framework that we see as our identity. We may still perform most of the same job activities, but doing so over a Zoom link does not bring with it the same since of identity. The fact that we don’t even have to get up and get ready to go to work adds to the loss of identity. Where is that person in the nice suit or business casual outfit and who is this slob still in pajamas at 10 AM in the morning?

As a Realtor and an outside sales person, I have noticed how disconnected I have felt, while I was unable to call on clients in person. Sure, I could still send emails and text messages and make phone calls, but there has been very few face-to-face sales calls. It has become much too easy for regular clients to just back off making their normal buys, when we were not meeting in person. How disconnected have you become from your “normal” work environment?

Socially, not being able to get together or even to go out to eat in a restaurant was certainly disconnecting during the time we were all in the lock-down by State mandates. Even now, eating in a restaurant is not anywhere near the social event that it used to be; plus, we are now advised to not even gather in groups around the Holiday table. The social fabric of our lives has been rendered and we have withdrawn into our nuclear family groups. How disconnected socially has your life become?

On the religious front, my church, like many others, has not met regularly in person since March. My church had one social event this summer (an ice cream social)  and has held two drive-in church services, with mixed results, in terms of attendance. The age of our congregation (probably averages 70+) and the guidance of our Synod Bishop continue to dictate caution and not holding in-person services. I produce and post videos of our church services each week and we have been fortunate to have the continued support of our musical staff to provide music for those services, yet it is not the same. Most of the church related groups – the book club, the knitting club and the women’s group  have continue to meet and that helps keep those bonds intact. The Pastor holds a “coffee hour” via Zoom each Sunday at about the time that services would normally be over and that helps some; but, for many there is a growing sense of disconnect. How has your religious life been impacted by the pandemic?

I think the important thing is to acknowledge these disconnects and to take positive action to overcome them, rather than letting them drag you down into depression. Things are not going to be the same for quite a while, if ever; so we need to adjust to the “new normal” and find ways to reconnect at work, socially and in our religious lives.

Our work life identity may have switched from our office or cubicle to the little box down and to the left on the Zoom screen, but we are still responsible for the important aspect of the business that we were hired for and we need to feel good about dong that job. Maybe it’s time to force ourselves to get up, get showered and put on all of our “work” clothes; even if it is just for a Zoom meeting – no more “waist-up” dressing.

 Maybe it’s time to venture out to a restaurant or to go shopping at the mall (just remember your mask). Maybe you can sit down and call those people that you’ve been missing and have a nice, long conversation with them. I’m sure that they have been feeling lonely, too.

Or, maybe it’s time to watch a church service video and sing along with the music. The video’s that I post on our YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSTzf6Jn_j2iepSePY4yiyw?view_as=subscriber –  have the words posted for each song, so that the viewer can sing along. I invite you to try this week’s service at – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f4_YVyPz6o&feature=youtu.be

 I won’t tell you that you shouldn’t feel somewhat disconnected, that’s just how things are for a while; however, you can take positive steps to reconnect and to feel more like a part of the new normal. I’d even suggest that you buy a mask with a smiley face on it, just to start some conversations and to give yourself a smile when you look in the mirror or see yourself in your little Zoom box. When someone on the Zoom call asks you, why you are wearing a mask on the Zoom call, tell them that you heard about computer viruses and didn’t want to catch one. That may get a laugh and a conversation started. In fact, this picture from the internet is the perfect virus mask for that.

The key is that you do something about feeling disconnected. Reconnections won’t just happen, you have to make them happen. Get up. Get showered. Get dressed and get reconnected!

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Posted by Norm Werner

What will you build?

November 5, 2020

We live in acrimonious and disturbing times that cry out for a return to the values that many of us grew up with and the lessons that we learned in Sunday School (back when people went to Sunday School instead of out to the playing fields) – humbleness, honesty, integrity and caring for others.

I recently saw a post on Facebook that read something like this – “Those who have success in life should build a bigger table not a bigger wall”.

That saying seemed to me to sum up both the state that we are in and the decisions that we must make going forward. It sums things up by pointing out our choices. We can either share the wealth of our nation and our people with those less fortunate by building a bigger,  more inclusive table for all; or, we can decide to husband what we have been fortunate enough to achieve as a nation and a people by building walls to close ourselves off from the world.

Of course, the table and the wall are just symbols of the political and socio-economic decisions that we must make going forward. Most of us probably try to teach our children to share their toys with playmates or siblings when they are very young. It not only keeps the peace, but it’s the right thing to do. I’m not sure when we stop trying to teach them to share, but somewhere along the line many “learn” how to be selfish or uncaring for others. Maybe they see how we act as adults and take their cues from that behavior. Imagine what the children have learned from the adults around them recently.

Another vexing thing is how many so-called Christians have joined in “build walls” side of things. I can’t find any references to building walls anywhere in the words of Jesus, but there are many about sharing and caring for others. Jesus would have chosen to build a bigger table and not a bigger wall. In fact he instructed his Disciples  his last meeting at the table to go out and share with all.

So, what will you build? We all have some success in life, even if just being alive is all that we can think of at the moment. Give of yourself. Choose to share your life and time with others and not to wall yourself off. Build a bigger table, not a bigger wall.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Trust your faith “sense”…

November 2, 2020

Pastor Freed started of his week with this post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words –  “Just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean I can’t believe it.”  (Jack Skellington)

He went on to write about things that we see can’t see, but in which we still believe. Of course, in that category he included God.

Humans tend to rely quite a bit on their senses of sight, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching as a basis of believing that something is real. Things that we can see like the wind, we can still sense as it touches our faces or hear as it rustles through the trees or howls outside the house. Most of the time we will not have to see the skunk to know and believe that it is there (or has been). We also have a range of emotional “senses” that tell us when we are sad, happy, frightened or maybe in love.

Then, there is our “faith” sense – the feeling of peace, calm and assurance that comes over us when we sense our faith in action and the presence of God in our lives. People often express those feelings when they have felt the hand of God in their life, many cases in times of great sorrow or danger, but also in times of great joy.

There is that sense of relief in “knowing” that you are not alone and a warm feeling of safety and security may wash over you. You can’t “see” God, but you know that He is there. You feel His hand on your shoulder just as sure as if He was standing next to you and you “hear” his words – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

So trust your “faith sense” as you go through your day as we have been told – “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews/11/1)

Do you have conviction in your faith, even though you cannot see it? Can you feel it working in your life? Can you see it guiding you through the day?

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Posted by Norm Werner

What kind of karma are you making?

November 1, 2020

Recently Pastor Freed used this quote in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words –“Karma is what happens to a person because they caused it by their actions.” (Free Encyclopedia) 

I guess I had the wrong definition of karma in mind until I read that and went and looked it up myself. I had thought of it more as a benign and passive thing that we just stumble into, rather than something that we actually cause by our own actions. That immediately brings to mind the question – What kind of karma am I creating?

We hear often of a person having good or bad karma, which must then mean that the person was doing good or bad things to cause what happen to them. Maybe karma is a variation on the old phrase, “What goes around, comes around” or the even older advice from the Bible,

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6: 7-9)

So the good or bad that we are doing (sowing) will determine our karma and what fate awaits us, not happenstance. It is also important to heed the warning not to give up doing the right or good things in life. It is tempting to take the shortcuts in life or to turn away from a problem or a person in need, but it is not the right thing to do. That is just making bad karma.

It would seem that making good karma by doing the right things in life and making good decisions is based upon taking the time to think about each decision that you make within the framework of right and wrong. That presupposes that one has a solid understanding or foundation for that framework of what is right and wrong. For Christians build that framework upon the foundation of their faith and the guidance that they receive from the teachings of Christ that they find in the Bible.

If our karma is based upon our actions, and our actions are based upon the teachings of Christ; then we can have nothing but good karma and good things will happen to us. Maybe starting out each day with a little prayer asking God to help you make the right decisions to achieve good karma will at least get you thinking in the right way and started in the right direction.

May you day be filled with good karma.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Just imagine…

October 30, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Pastor Freed used this quote – “Where there is no imagination there is no horror.”  (Arthur Conan Doyle)

Halloween is a time when we let our imagination of scary things run amuck. Our imaginations can also take us to good places and provide the fuel for hope for a better future. Sometimes we call imagining without any particular direction in mind daydreaming. We let our imaginations run away with us.  John Lennon challenged our ability to imagine things in his song – Imagine.

There is an interesting, and one might say necessary, interplay between imagination and faith. Indeed faith cannot become strong in someone’s life without imagination. Religion is built upon things that we cannot physically see; rather we must believe and try to  imagine what God and Heaven and other major part of our religious beliefs must be like. That is both good and bad – good because our imagination allows us to wrap our heads around what would otherwise be enigmatic, but bad because it confines our understanding to the pitiful limitations of our own imaginations.

We are told that we will experience a peace in the afterlife that is beyond understanding and then we try to imagine what that must feel like. We are told that Jesus has gone to prepare a place for us in his Father’s hose, a place with many rooms and we imagine a giant Motel 6. We buy into the cartoon images of people with wings standing around talking to each other and the thought that we will again “see” everyone who has gone before us, as if we are at a vast family reunion.

Like most, I have tried to imagine what joining all of the souls that have gone before in the afterlife might be like. The best image that I can conjure up is the final scene for a character from a sci-fi TV series. The character I remember is Odo. Odo played by René Auberjonois, is a fictional character in the science fiction television series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He is a member of a shapeshifting species called Changelings and serves as the head of security for the space station Deep Space Nine on which the show is set. In his final scene at the end of the series, Odo rejoins the “great link” a vast ocean of shapeshifter souls, each a tiny drop in the is ocean and yet all joined together to make up the formless body of the “great link” ocean. He dives into the ocean and is gone, but still there. Imagine your soul joining all of the souls that have gone before in heaven (the “great link”) where you are nowhere and everywhere at once, all connected, yet each separate. Imagine that.

What do you imagine when you think about God and heaven? I know that you are imaging for something better than a Motel 6.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Keeping safe from the burglar…

October 28, 2020

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote –

“While disease is a mugger, age is a cat burglar who steals but a single day each night, and the thief has learned patience.” (Madeline Albright) 

Lately we have been hiding from the Corona Virus mugger that is running rampant in our world ravaging those whom it has infected; however, there is no way to hide from the cat burglar of age that creeps up on all of us stealing yet another precious day from us each night. What we can do, all of us, is to steal a part of each day back from that burglar by getting the maximum value and enjoyment out of each day such that there is nothing to regret having done or not done as sleep casts it’s nightly veil over us.

If we begin each day thankful for God having given us yet another opportunity, we should end each day thankful to God for having been with us as we had the experiences of living through it. We should pause to reflect on the people that we met the challenges that we overcame, the knowledge that we gained and the joys that we experienced. That moment of reflection and thankfulness serves to steal back the day and lock it in our memories in a way that even the cat burglar of age cannot take from us. The longer one lives the greater is the treasure that is stored in those memories. Age may steal our endurance and our strength, and bring with it aches and pains to remind us that it is there, but, for most, it cannot steal our memories and need not dull our minds.

It is easier to retain those memories is one starts the day in the right frame of mind. Perhaps you could start with a little prayer asking God to help you:  

to be more open to new ideas and new people,

to be more calm and thoughtful in the face of the day’s challenges,

to be more ready to listen and less ready to talk,

to be more understanding and less judgmental,

to strive to love thy neighbor as Jesus loves you.  

If you actually lived the day with those thoughts in mind, I’ll bet that you will end the day with new treasures to add to your memories; memories that the cat burglar of age cannot take away from you.

Have a great and memorable day!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Keep on learning…

October 26, 2020

In his blog, Jack’s Winning Words. Today, Pastor Freed used this quote from poet Robert Frost – “When I was young my teachers were the old.  Now when I am old my teachers are the young.”  He went on to write –  I remember seeing poet Frost read one of his poems at JFKs presidential inauguration.

I guess I must be getting old, too, because I also remember seeing Robert Frost at JFK’s inauguration on TV. At the time, I marveled that I got to see and hear a great poet that I had only read about in school before that. Of course that was back in the day when poetry and literature were still taught in school, along with writing in cursive.

When we are younger we look to older people to learn from, because we believe that they have learned things that we don’t know but would like to  know. As we become adults, we look to the people around us who may have already had experiences that we have not yet had. In addition, as we get older we look to younger people because we are sure that they have adopted and learned about new things that we have yet to try – like how to operate our smartphones.

The real point is to keep trying new things, experiencing new things and learning new things. By learning we continue to grow and life continues to be interesting. To stop learning is to just exist; and that quickly becomes boring. Every day we should wake up with a desire to learn something new and every evening we should be able to look back over the day and ask ourselves what we learned today. Sometimes taking that time to think about the lessons of the day is the only way to really understand that you did learn something today, even if that lesson was what not to do again tomorrow.

Maybe you can start your day by adding to your prayers, “God help me to learn from the directions that you take me in today.” Then at night add, “God let me see your hand in the events of the day and learn from them.” If nothing else, stopping to reconnect with God will make it a better day and, who knows, you might learn something, too.

I think this quote from Mahatma Gandhi is a good philosophy to live by – Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.  

What will you learn today?

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Posted by Norm Werner

You don’t need a key –

October 22, 2020

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this  lyric  from The Eagles song Already Gone (listen to it here) –

“So often in time it happens, we all live our life in chains,

and we never even know we have the key.”

It’s interesting that the lyrics right before that line provide the insight to understand it –

“Well, I know it wasn’t you who held me down
Heaven knows it wasn’t you who set me free”

Many things in life try to hold us down, to put us in chains and show us no way out; however we always hold the key to release ourselves from whatever it is that may be weighing us down – remorse over a past event or angst over a coming event.

The Eagles song was about a relationship that was ending and it was intended to be a victory song from the point of view of one of the people in that failed relationship. In the song the singer celebrates that he is already over the breakup by stating that he is already gone – gone on with life.

I’ve posted here a few times about getting over things and moving on with life – see my posts What’s Next For You and Are You Moving On?

The point is that you don’t even need a key to break the chains that you think are holding you. Someone else didn’t put those chains on you; you put them on yourself and you can throw them off. Maybe it is as simple as declaring victory as the song lyrics state and telling yourself that you are already gone – that you are already over it and you are moving on.

Sometimes throwing off the chains of guilt or self-doubt can be as simple as uttering the simple little prayer that I’ve used many times here – “Not my will, but Thy will be done.” You will be surprised at the immediate feeling that the weight of the chains that you have imposed upon yourself is lifted from your shoulders when you give your chains to God. You will feel free to move on with life.

Perhaps then, you will feel like singing the lyrics that the Eagles used later in the song –

Cause I’m already gone
And I’m feelin’ strong
I will sing this vict’ry song I’m already gone.

You hold the key to your own happiness – use it and get on with life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The only constant is change…

October 21, 2020

In his blog post today, Pastor Freed used this quote from George Bernard Shaw – “The only one I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me.  The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”  Freed also used a quote from someone whom I’m sure many of his readers never knew –“people who don’t change are in the cemetery” (Everett Dirksen).  Dirksen was a U.S. Senator from Illinois who was a talented orator with a florid style and a notably rich baritone voice. Dirksen was a Republican and served as the Minority Leader from 1959 to 1959. Back in those days when there was compromise and collaboration between the parties in Congress, he helped write and pass the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Civil Rights Act of 1968, both landmark pieces of legislation during the Civil Rights Movement. It is hard to even imagine the two parties compromising on anything these days.

Jack commented upon the changes that we all go through in our lives, from the size clothes that we wear to our opinions on things. Although some are slower than others to change, everyone has a different view of the world around them today than that had a year ago or ten years ago. That different perspective on the people and events that shape our lives lead us to different conclusions than we might have held in the past and hopefully to take different actions.

Sometimes events  bring back to the surface thoughts that were always there, but which had faded. The events which lead to the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement brought back our memories of, and belief in, the inequities and injustice suffered by people of color that had faded into the background for many. Complacency oft fills the void left when commitment and compassion fade. Jarring events like the killing of George Floyd serve to snap those feeling back to the fore. Few remember that the Black Lives Matter movement actually went back to the 2012 killing of Trayvon Martin and the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter was first used in 2013. America had become complacent again.

Certainly, the events of 2020 and the COVID-19 crisis have changed all of us. There is no way that anyone anywhere could have remained unaffected by this crisis. How has it made you different? How has it changed your daily life? What things have you done to make the best of a bad situation?

We see ads now telling  us that there is no going back to the “good old days”, but rather that we must adapt, change and move forward in this new reality. The old ways have quickly fading away and new ways to work, to shop and to live are taking their place. Some are resisting those changes with all of their might. Many are frustrated and some have become depressed; others have quickly embraced the changes and are thriving. We all need to be more like the tailor in today’s quote and take new measurements of life around us. We need to tailor new responses and fit into the new reality because it is not going to change to fit us.

I believe that the thing that through us off the most was the speed of the changes that the COVID crisis caused. It certainly wasn’t a slow, orderly change in most people’s lives. All of a sudden most of what you were used to doing was off limits or restricted. The people that you were used to seeing and hugging and talking with were gone – even family members were admonished to stay apart if they didn’t live together. Our world was turned upside down and many of us fell on our heads.  Some were left hanging; clinging to something (anything) familiar from the past. We desperately hoped that things would get “back to normal”. Then we were introduced to the term “the new normal” and we knew that there was no going back.

So, here we are living in the “new normal”. Most (thought unfortunately not all) have accepted and gotten used to changes like wearing masks in public to protect each other. We have adapted to social distancing in restaurants and stores. We have shifted much of our shopping and entertainment and even our church services on-line. Slowly, most have refocused from grudging defiance of the new normal to an attitude of making the best of it and finding new ways to live fulfilling lives under the constraints that are out of our control. There will always be the angry, the defiant and the unhappy among us; there always has been, even in the times before COVID. You do not have to try to fit with them. They will either come round to the changes that are required by the new normal or they will end up were Dirksen predicted. There is no bouncing back; so, it’s time, as the current Verizon ad says, to spring forward.

Make the changes in your life to fit into the new normal and get on with life. It’s a new day and you need to be a new you.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Ready or not, here it comes…

October 20, 2020

Fall has definitely arrived in Michigan and winter cannot be far behind. Pastor Freed used this quote in today’s post to his Jack’s Winning Words blog – “Listen!  The wind is rising and the air is wild with leaves.  We’ve had our summer evenings; now for October eves.”  (Humbert Wolfe)

I know that the weather doesn’t care, but I wasn’t quite ready for the changes this year, especially the shorter days. Perhaps it’s just a consequence of getting older, but the aches and pains in my body seem to linger a little longer in the day with no warming sun to help them fade and I do miss being able to take a ride with my wife after dinner to see if we can spot any deer. Of course, that disappointment is mitigated somewhat by being able to instead turn on the fireplace and sit watching the flames dance. Each season has it’s own pleasures if one just looks for them; although, it is getting harder and harder to find the good things to say about winter.

I saw a young mother and her little girl make a huge pile of leave the other day and then sit in the pile, pretending that it was a fort of some sort.  They found a way to have fun with the fallen leaves. I tried to remember the last time that I made a big pile of leaves and then jumped into it, but that memory has faded to far into the background. I can remember my kids doing that and the times I spent burning big piles of leaves (before that became an incorrect thing to do).  What memories do you have about fall and leaves?

The coming winter always brings memories of snow and the days in which that snowfall was welcomed because it meant no school, the fun of sledding, snowball fights and other fun things to do. Now it is more about getting out the snow blower and shoveling off the steps. My wife always comments about how beautiful everything looks with a fresh coat of snow, as I grumble about having to clear the driveway and clean off the cars. I must admit that a fresh snowfall looks good for a few moments and the fireplace feels even better when one comes back inside after blowing snow for an hour.

So, I guess Wolfe’s advice to listen to the rustling leaves in the October winds is as good a way as any to get in the proper mood for accepting the changes that are occurring in the weather and  in our lives and make the best of them. There are lots of things that happen in our lives over which we have no control – the weather is just one of them. The key may be to accept the fact that they are occurring and find a happy place in your memories to retreat to in front of a crackling fire. If reliving some pleasant experiences from the past isn’t your thing; then, use the down time to think about some fun things to do in the future, after the winter, when spring again foretells of the rebirth of the trees and flowers and the warmth of a mid-day sun.

What memories will you turn to in front of the fireplace or what wonderful new adventures will you plan?

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Posted by Norm Werner

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