Don’t stop thinking; start doing…

May 16, 2023

Far too many people begin each week by imagining reasons why they can’t achieve their dreams – they make up excuses for not even trying.

Successful people begin their week by reassessing where they are and thinking about what the next steps may be to making progress towards their dream. They revisit their dream as a long-term goal and then dedicate themselves to the short-term tasks at hand which must be accomplished to make progress towards the dream.

At the end of the day or the week they look back and see progress being made. They are happy to have been able to accomplish whatever smaller tasks were needed to make progress towards the ultimate goal – the dream. Sometimes, just like when you take the wrong path through a maze; they must admit that they have been pursuing a dead-end path and must back up and start anew. It is in those times that the strength of your commitment to the dream is most important.

If you have a dream that you cannot stop thinking about, turn that dream into a goal and then spend some time thinking about the things that must be accomplished in order to achieve that big goal. Make those things the little goals that you can accomplish in a day or a week or a month and t out to achieve that little goal. Celebrate those little wins and keep moving forward.

Keep thinking about your dream and start doing…


Don’t go negative…

May 10, 2023

So, here we are at mid-week.

We started the week by suggesting that you give yourself a pep talk and rededicate yourself to achieving your goals. Maybe things haven’t gone the way you had hoped that they would, and you’ve suffered a setback. Resist the natural tendency to go negative and allow yourself to slide into the role of a victim.

That negative mindset of being a victim is a lure to trap you into a life of self-pity instead of the life that you envisioned. Resist that urge. Instead focus on how best to recover from this temporary setback. Ask yourself questions. What happened? What can you learn from the experience? What will you do differently next time you get to that point? If it helps, check in with God to make sure He is still there beside you on this journey. You can’t ask for a better co-pilot.

By focusing upon recovering, learning, and doing better next time you can remain in a positive frame of mind. You are continuing to make progress, no matter how small. You’ve got this!

The reason that you have got this is that you have stayed in control of yourself. You didn’t allow yourself to go negative and wallow in self-pity.

But wait.  There is more good news. You have two more workdays this week to make more progress towards your goals and a whole weekend ahead to relax and recharge.

Life is good!


Give yourself a pep talk…

May 8, 2023

OK, it’s Monday; not everyone’s favorite day. Hopefully you took the chance to relax, recuperate and reenergize over the weekend. Maybe you also had the chance to touch base with God at church on Sunday. Now it is time to rededicate. Bring your goals back into focus. Do whatever resetting you need to do in order to deal with any temporary setbacks and get moving forward again.

It is interesting that this graphic uses the words “together” and “we’. There’s some psychology at work there. Those words remind us that we are seldom alone in our pursuits. We always have God with us. We may also have co-workers or companions who may be helping or just rooting for us. Build on that strength and that thought that you are not alone.

Start the week planning for success. Break down big challenges into smaller, achievable steps. See the things that are standing in the way of your success as challenges that you will overcome.

Give yourself a pep talks and then imagine that like football players at the start of a college game, you are running through the tunnel and out onto the field – breaking through the banner at the start of the field. Hear in your mind the roar of the crowd. Everybody is rooting for you to win. So, get out there and rise to the challenge.


Stop and have a laugh…

May 3, 2023

I started this week with yet another “chase your dreams” post (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2023/05/01/dont-stop-thinking-start-doing/). I think it is important to always be striving towards achieving your dreams. That does not mean that you need to become a “heads-down”, super-focused person who is unable to laugh.

I also believe that finding ways to laugh and be less serious about life will add years to your life.  As a society, Americans have become way too serious about everything – unable to find the humor in everyday life and unable to find forgiveness for others and acceptance of differences with others.

A sense of humor seems to be missing from our political scene these days. Instead of a chuckle and the thought, “where do they get these clowns?”, we have taken their bizarre behavior and ridiculous statements way too seriously. Perhaps it is because they seem to be having an outsized impact on political decisions that impact our daily lives. In any event, the fringe people on both sides of the political spectrum have become less humorous and much more threatening. Perhaps if you start imagining them again as the clowns that they are it might help. If you just stop and listen to some of their ridiculous statements, you can’t help but laugh. These are not serious people and you should not take them seriously.

So. What are we to do? You can start by taking my advice from past posts to make a funny face in the mirror to start your day. Taking that moment to break out of your serious mode can lighten your mood considerably. Being serious does not always mean being stern or angry looking. Instead of walking around looking like you are passing a kidney stone; try walking around looking like you just heard a good joke or just got good news. People will see your smile or hear your chuckle and want to engage you to find out why you are so happy.

It’s mid-week as I write this, so stop and have a good laugh to help you get through the rest of the week. Stop and take a look in the mirror. Make a funny face and have a laugh. Seriously, stop and have a good laugh.


Don’t stop thinking; start doing…

May 1, 2023

Start the week on a positive note. I’ve noticed that this is a recurring theme and tha’s a good thing.

Far too many people begin each week by imagining reasons why they can’t achieve their dreams – they make up excuses for not even trying.

Successful people begin their week by reassessing where they are and thinking about what the next steps may be to making progress towards their dream. They revisit their dream as a long-term goal and then dedicate themselves to the short-term tasks at hand which must be accomplished to make progress towards the dream.

At the end of the day or the week they look back and see progress being made. They are happy to have been able to accomplish whatever smaller tasks were needed to make progress towards the ultimate goal – the dream. Sometimes, just like when you take the wrong path through a maze; they must admit that they have been pursuing a dead-end path and must back up and start anew. It is in those times that the strength of your commitment to the dream is most important.

If you have a dream that you cannot stop thinking about, turn that dream into a goal and then spend some time thinking about the things that must be accomplished in order to achieve that big goal. Make those things the little goals that you can accomplish in a day or a week or a month and t out to achieve that little goal. Celebrate those little wins and keep moving forward.

Keep thinking about your dream and start doing…


Turning dreams into reality…

April 24, 2023

OK. It’s a Monday. You have the weekend behind you and the work week ahead of you. If you spent a part of the weekend dreaming about a better or different life; or maybe you just decided that something must change in your life; now is the time to turn those dreams into goals and those goals into plans.

Most people’s dreams are not small or insignificant things. They involved large, long-terms change. That may make them seem to be unachievable. The key to success in achieving your dreams is to break them down into smaller, more achievable steps and then commit to taking those steps and sticking with the process until you have achieved the whole dream.

For most just the process of writing things down will help. It provides them with a “To Do” list of things that they need to do and a check-off list that they can use to mark their progress. Writing thigs down will also help you see where you still have big chunks that need to be further broken up into achievable steps (goals).

Sometimes going through this process of breaking a big dream up into smaller steps and writing down the steps that you must go through to achieve that dream will cause you to rethink that dream and decide that it isn’t something that you want to put in the effort to achieve. That’s OK, too. Not all dreams should be taken past the wishful thinking phase anyway. What you’ve really done is to evaluate that the end result is not worth the effort that would be required.

Don’t stop dreaming. Just take the time to consider what would be required to turn you dream into an achievable plan. If it still seems like something that you want to do, then execute the plan. Dreaming is good. Planning how to achieve that dream is better. Successfully executing your plans is the best.

Dream on.


So, get started already…

April 19, 2023

My last few posts have been about change and achieving things in your life. They offered encouragement that success and even greatness is available to those who embrace change to achieve that greatness.

Today’s post may be looked at as step one on the road to greatness – getting started. Nothing kills or delays greatness more than procrastination. Procrastination is the mother of the lament – “coulda, woulda, shoulda”.

I would opine that just starting, no matter in which direction, will get you to where you want to end up. Getting started puts you in motion and allows Newton’s first law of physics to take over – a body in motion tends to stay in motion. That first law also states that the body in motion will travel in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force. That force is the willingness to change. If you embrace change in your life those changes (forces) will alter the course of your life.

Embracing love will also change your life – love of self and love of others. Embracing love is not the opposite of embracing hate, it is the opposite of embracing apathy. I have posted here a few times about the importance of loving yourself before you can love others – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2023/01/18/love-yourself-first/. Embracing love is a change from being apathetic and will set you on a new course to greatness.

Embracing a faith in (and love of) God is a change (a force) that most experience at some point in their lives. Many step back or away from their faith or lose track of it and that lack of the force of faith in their lives may dictate a direction in their life that does not end well. A life without faith is like sailing on a ship without a rudder – it will drift along in some direction, but it is not under control.

Maybe that is the key to getting started towards greatness – loving God, loving yourself and loving others. At least it gets you going and in a good direction. Try it today. Get started with love.


No instant gratification in greatness…

April 18, 2023

There are some events or competitions that take very little time in themselves. The 100 meter dash comes to mind or a quarter-lime drag race. Both can be over in under 10 seconds, but both events are really just the culmination of lots of hard work – sometimes years’ worth of preparation.

We have become a society more conditioned to, and used to, instant gratification. Patience and perseverance have been largely relegated to the dust bin of history in this era of smart phones and short attention spans. The mantra, “we want it all and we want it now” rules the day for many.

Yet, there are those who still understand that great things take time and sustained effort. Every now and then the TV coverage of one of those seemingly short-term successes will go behind the scenes to report on the amount of training time and effort that went into that 10 second blast of success. Only then do we appreciate the patience and perseverance of the winning athlete that went into that moment.

Many people pursue great things/goals without giving much conscientious thought to them. Being a good person, spoouce or parent pops to mind. Goals like those are just lurking there in the back of your mind. One might pause every now and then to think about what the “right thing” to do is in any particular situation, and the commitment to being a good person or a better husband or parent kicks in and guides your decisions.

Unlike the winner at the end of the 100-meter dash, we do not get to wrap ourselves in a flag and take a victory lap for having been a good person or parent. We may sit and reflect upon the success of the parenting work that we put in as we listen to our son or daughter take their wedding vows. I suspect that there isn’t a dad or mom who didn’t tear up while doing the wedding dance with their child. That was their victory lap and they realized it.

As I enter the Autumn years of my life, I look back and realize so many of the ambitions and goals that I pursued, including most of those that I accomplished, turned out to be relatively meaningless. The goals that really mattered – to be that better person and a good husband and parent – are still what drives me day-to-day. Those are great things worth pursuing with patience and perseverance. My hope is that my last thought on earth will be – I won those races.

Then, I’ll take my victory lap in heaven.


You make change happen…

April 17, 2023

Many people start their day hoping (dreaming) that something will happen during the day to change their life and make it better.  The truth is that change only really happens when you make that change happen. Waiting passively for something good to happen that will change your life has about as much chance of success as buying a lotto ticket hoping that it will make you rich. Does it happen sometimes – Yes. Does it happen often – No.

Many people allow themselves to be overwhelmed by the thought of change, or at least the change that they desire. The change may seem to be too big to possibly accomplish. They cannot “see” how to get from here to there.  Those who succeed do so by turning the change that they desire into their goal and never losing sight of it. They then spend the mental time to break down the intermediate steps that may be required to accomplish that big goal and turn those steps little goals along the way. They can end each day by looking back on their accomplishment of a little, intermediate goal or two and feel good able making progress towards the big goal.

If they suffer a setback it is usually only a setback to a small portion of the journey towards their big goal. That setback does not mean that they must abandon their big goal, but perhaps some of the intermediate steps and goals must be retried or even rethought.  They get another chance to change their own direction.

The key to accomplishing your big goals and changing your life is making that decision to be in charge of the change, instead of just waiting for it to happen.

So, take charge. Be in charge. Make change happen in your life and the changes that you desire will come true for you. It may make you smile to think of yourself as the little red boat in the graphic sailing off in a new direction. Don’t be scared. Be excited. You are changing for the better.

Have a great week full of change and new adventures!


Don’t let comfort restrict you…

March 27, 2023

As much as it is about courage, today’s graphic is also about getting out of your comfort zone. Let’s face it, being able to see the shore give us a sense of comfort and security. It is much more comfortable to sail up and down that shoreline, never losing sight of it, than it is to venture out so far that we can no longer see the shore.  It can be a very lonely and frightening experience to be in the middle of the ocean or of a Great Lake. If you haven’t been paying attention the first thing that will hit you is that you have no idea in which direction to even look for the shore. That’s scary.

However, if you began this journey by preparing and having the necessary tools to navigate in the open water, you will know both where you came from and where you are headed. Assuming that there is something waiting at the destination worth making the trip for, you will be filled with anticipation rather than dread.

Life is such a journey. As children we tend to stay close to the shoreline, touching base with home quite often. As adults we learn to let go of the comfort of “home” in order to seek new adventures, new jobs, new relationships. Sometimes those early journeys don’t work out and we may end up back at home. Perhaps we didn’t like going away to college as much as we thought that we would or maybe that relationship that we thought was going to last forever suddenly fell apart. Any number of things may lead us back to home or cause us to at least touch that base again. Still, the pull of the unknown and the anticipation of what is on the other side, keeps us going back out, way from the shoreline. For most, a new shoreline or home base is established, based upon new relationships. Old, comfortable traditions give way to new traditions and new comfort zones grow to replace the old, abandoned ones.

The point is that one must let go of the old shoreline and bravely venture out where is cannot be seen in order to find what it waiting on the other side. One must break out of their comfort zones. Yes it takes courage to let go of the old; but dreams seldom happen right where you were standing. Dreams almost always happen just beyond the point where you can see the comfortable shoreline that you are currently on. Let go and venture out.