Are you having a bad day?

March 19, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 3/18/24 – reprises of posts to the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed  – Originally sent May 17, 2016.

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something.” (H. Jackson Brown Jr) Someone I know was treated rudely by a bank teller. She asked the person, “Are you having a bad day, or are you always like this?” It was done in a caring way and not meant to be sarcastic. Everyone we meet is probably carrying some kind of burden, so we need to give them some slack and go easy with the voice…or horn. 😉  Jack

One of the harder things to consistently do is to be able step back from your own thoughts, issues and priorities to consider the state of mind or point of view of another person that you have encountered. Everyone has their own story and has arrived at this moment on a path that is different from yours.

If you cannot be empathetic or sympathetic, at least don’t be rude or mad. Perhaps your best retort to something down or rude that they may have said is to ask, “What’s causing you to feel that way (or to say that)?”

Sometimes the person that you need to say that to is the person that you are looking at in the mirror. If you are having a bad day, an important step to turning things around is trying to understand why. What is it that you are afraid of? What or who have you lost? What don’t you understand? What is causing you to be fearful, anxious, or angry?

One of the lessons that I am still learning as I get older is how really unimportant many things are (were) that used to drive my life and my behavior. It is all too easy, especially when one is younger, to become so focused and driven by what seems at the time to be important that one becomes rude or worse to those around them.

Divorces and family breakups are often caused by the intensity that a job may demand and the inability to let that go or “switch gears” when one is at home. The fact that many Gen Zers have resisted that work-mode intensity irks those in older generations when it should actually be showing us the way to a more fulfilling life.

So, if you are having a bad day that is work-oriented, stop and ask yourself is what you are concerned about really all that important? Will anybody die if you don’t get this task done right now? Will you die if you don’t get this task done right now? Asking those questions will help you to put things in perspective.

If all else fails, try the little prayer that I’ve posted here a few times – “Not my will, but Thy will be done.” Nothing frees you more to leave behind life’s burdens and get on with life than turning over your life to the will of God. Try it.

 Are you having a bad day? Ask yourself about it, then ask for God’s help.

Leave a Comment » | faith, Inspiration | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Start over, but take a different path…

March 12, 2024

This graphic from my real estate company offers good advice, but perhaps not enough.

Certainly starting over does provide an opportunity to build something better, but only if you have learned from your past failures and take a different path this time.

There is an old saying that insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Sadly, too many people take that approach to life. Most don’t stop to analyze why they failed the other times that they tried. They convince themselves that if they just work harder along the same path that they took before they will succeed. Often, that approach leads only to a slightly different failure.

Thomas Edison was famous for telling people how many times he failed at some of his greatest inventions before he got them right. Edison learned from each failure and took a slightly different path on each try.

Starting over also allows one to modify their goal and define a new end point or expected result. That is important because failures allow you to examine those goals or your definition of success. It might also allow you to set more realistic and achievable short-term goals on the way towards a larger long-term goal. That way you can celebrate those short-term wins to keep yourself motivated for the long haul.

One roadblock to starting over that many people allow is to become fixated on the “sunk money” or “sunk time” that you have invested in your failed approach. You may think that “I’ve come too far to start over”. Give yourself a break. Congratulate yourself instead for being too smart to continue down that dead end path. And don’t waste any time looking for a scapegoat to blame. Own the bad choices that you made; learn from them and move on.

A good habit to adopt is to frequently stop and evaluate what you have done, what you are doing and what you think will come next. Are you making progress against your short and long-term goals? Is there anything that needs to be adjusted or perhaps even abandoned and a new direction taken? Regularly reviewing and evaluating where you are and what you think is next will keep you from going too far down rat-holes and wasting time and resources.

So, don’t be afraid to start over, just make sure that you take a different path this time. Persistence and perseverance are not good traits to have if you use them on the wrong path. Learn from your past mistakes and build something better this time.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Be happy with what you have…

March 11, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 3/11/24 – reprises of posts to the Jack’s Winning Words blog or the late Pastor Jack Freed. Originally sent July 10, 2015.


“Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with less than what you have.” (Unknown) When I first read this quote, I could not help but stop and put aside my personal complaints. I have so much, and there are so many who have so little. Is it that way with you? It’s an old saying, but it’s true: “I complained, because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.” There are many reasons for us to be generous with our riches. 😉  Jack
 

It doesn’t take anything other than the nightly news to give one reason to be happy that they are not the people in the news that night. The bread-and-butter of the nightly news shows is sharing the suffering of others. Inevitably some news reports will interview someone who’s home was just destroyed and whose family was wiped out and ask that stupid question that they all seem to use, “How does that make you feel?” The reporter is hoping for tears and lamenting, which makes for great TV viewing – or so they think.

Getting back to the title theme, the conclusion that one should draw from this quote and other experiences and observations during the day is that we have much to for which to be  happy. Unfortunately, we in the United States live within a society which puts a high value of getting more – more money, more power and more possessions. We don’t have time to reflect upon and be happy about what we have, because that wastes time from our pursuit of more. Be happy with what you have.

Oft times, when my wife and I are about to leave for a shopping trip, I will ask er the question, “What do you need?” Her reply most often is, “What I need and what I want are two different things.” For most American’s that is the problem – our wants far outstrip our needs. It is also not unusual for the cost of what we want to exceed what we can afford. We end up spending money that we don’t have on things that we don’t need. Be happy with what you have.

So, how does one become happy with what they have? You might start by being happy that the Lord has given you another day on earth. Realize that not everyone got that gift. You probably heard about some who aren’t here today on last night’s news shows. Be happy with what you have.

As you head into the shower, think about all of the people who not only can’t take a shower, but who have no safe water to drink. That was on last night’s news, too. Be happy with what you have.

As you rummage through your overstuffed closet for today’s outfit, consider the people who just escaped a housefire with only the clothes (or pajamas) on their backs. Consider those migrants at the border or the refuges in Gaza who have only the clothes that they had on when they fled. Be happy with what you have.

Throughout your workday, think about how lucky you are to have a job and/or the freedom to seek another one, if your current job isn’t working for you. In parts of the world torn by chaos and war, there are no jobs. Be happy with what you have.

As you end your day, perhaps a prayer of thanksgiving is in order. Pause to consider all of the places in the world where freedom of religious expression is suppressed or nonexistent. Be happy with what you have.

If praying isn’t your thing, at least give some thought to the quote that Jack used in his post – “Just remember there is someone out there that is more than happy with less than what you have.” (Unknown) Reflect upon how that could be true and the blessings that you have will flood into your mind. You will be happy with what you have.

Now, doesn’t that make you feel better? Be happy with what you have.

Leave a Comment » | faith, Inspiration | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

What world Booker T think about today’s world?

March 4, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 3/4/24 – reprints of blog posts from the late Pastor Jack Freed.

“A lie doesn’t become truth, wrong doesn’t become right and evil doesn’t become good just because it’s accepted by a majority.” (Booker T. Washington)

Booker T. was born during the Civil War and grew up to be a respected educator, businessman and advisor to presidents. As I reread his quote, I sense that he’d be more than distressed at what has become of truth and the moral life. Truth is truth and right is right! Stand up for the truth, because if you don’t, who will? 😉 Jack

We certainly live in an era where the concept of truth has become muddled, if not for the majority at least for a large minority. Misinformation, disinformation and conspiracy theories have replaced the truth for many, especially those in politics.
But what is truth?
truth
/tro͞oTH/
noun
the quality or state of being true.

that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.
noun: the truth
“tell me the truth”

a fact or belief that is accepted as true.
plural noun: truths
“the emergence of scientific truths”

It seems that as a society we have moved from the first definition of the truth being in accordance with fact or reality onto the looser part of the second definition – a belief that is accepted as true. Many have accepted conspiracy theories as truths, without any substantial or verifiable proof.

Once one’s view of the world becomes perverted by being based upon lies or false beliefs, it is a short jump to the rest of Booker T’s observation that wrong suddenly appears to be right and evil starts to look like good.

Booker T grew up in a world that was not that long removed from the belief that slave ownership was right, based upon the perverted belief that the slaves were somehow less human than their owners and thus had less rights and could be treated as property. That belief still exists in many parts of the country and has now morphed into a belief that the slaves should have been happy that they were rescued by their owners and taught valuable job skills. That new belief still sees the slaves and their descendants as somehow less human than their masters and thus less deserving of basic human rights.

Booker T would not have been happy with the assault against truth, what is right, and good that is taking place in places like Florida and Texas. Instead of stating that Florida is the place where “woke” goes to die, perhaps Booker T would have said that Florida is the place where the truth goes to die.

Jack’s admonition that we must each stand up for the truth has never been more important. Elections are being won based upon lies. Laws are being written based upon lies. Freedoms are being stripped away, based upon lies. The insanity of gun-related deaths is being protected based upon lies. As a popular TV show used to say in its tag line – “The truth is out there”. It is incumbent upon each of us to find it and to defend it.

There are elections coming up which once again give us the opportunity to vote for people who will base their power to govern on the truth and not just on beliefs or lies. At a minimum you must voted based upon the truth. At best you will work with others to insure that the candidates espousing the truth will win.

The truth is out there. Vote for the truth.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration, politics | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Live in the moment…

February 28, 2024

I get graphics everyday from my real estate company – Real Estate One. Most are just supporting pitches to sell your home now or let me find you a new home. This one has a more general meaning…

It is all too easy to spend time reflecting on the past or dreaming about the future. Time spent on the past is usually time spent in regret. Regret for things that you’ve done or maybe things that you’ve left undone. We have a little prayer at the beginning of each service at my church where we ask for forgiveness for those things done and those left undone. I’ve opined here a few times that it is the things left undone that most often dominates my request for forgiveness.

Oft times when we think about future events, we try to fool ourselves into thinking that we are planning for them. In reality, we most often spend a lot of time letting our imaginations run through a gauntlet of bad outcomes, no matter how improbable they may be. The fear of failure conjures up all sorts of negative outcomes, no matter how unlikely.  

Both of these scenarios – spending time thinking about the past or the future – cause us to lose track of the importance of the current moment. We could be doing, instead of just thinking. We could be accomplishing, instead of just planning or regretting.

Right now, in the current moment, is the most important moment of your life. It is the only moment that you are fully in charge of and the only one in which what you do can make a difference. It is that moment when what you do or leave undone will have impact that you will latter feel good about or have regrets about.

Seize this moment. Be consciously aware of the moment and your role in it. Be more aware of the decisions that the moment requires of you. Free yourself from the shackles of fears and prejudices and make your decisions based only on the needs and facts of the moment. You will never get another chance at this moment. Make it count.

Live in the moment.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Care about somebody else today…

February 27, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/26/24 – A reprise of posts to the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed. Originally sent July 26, 2013


“In all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some are better at hiding it than others.” (Will Smith) Harry Golden’s essay, “The Show Must Go On,” tells of a man who was late for work one day and was reprimanded by his boss. Later in the day, the man quietly said, “My daughter died last night.” Everyone handles grief and disappointment in a personal way. Everyone has their struggles. Try to be understanding today! 😉  Jack 


Understanding that everyone else has some sort of personal struggle going on is a start. Doing something about it, once you understand that is called caring. Much of the time we are so wrapped up in our on struggles or self-pity that we not only miss the signs of struggle in others, but we ignore them when we do see them.

There is a roadside sign near my home that often features a blurry picture of a woman and the message “Hunger can be hard to recognize”. The sign is sponsored by Feeding America. Most of the struggles that the people around us are going through do not involve hunger and they can be even harder to recognize.  Maybe the person that you encounter has just lost a loved one. Maybe they have just gone through a breakup or even a divorce. Perhaps they have just been laid off or fired from a job. Maybe they were just released from incarceration and are struggling to reenter society. Perhaps they are just tired of dealing with constant discrimination.

No matter what the struggle, that person could use your help, your friendship, your concern and care. Sometimes just having someone to talk to about the things that they are struggling with makes all the difference in the world. Sometimes empathy and sympathy were the missing elements that can help them get through the struggle. They may not expect you to solve their problems. They just need someone to listen to their problems.

Start each day by resolving to play “Hide and Seek” with those whom you meet. Try to find out the struggle that they are hiding and see if you can help. You don’t have to be intrusive or pushy about it, just be honestly caring and a little more perceptive than you might otherwise be. The game is “What are you hiding from me and how can I help” and not “What are you hiding that I can make fun of?”

So, look past whatever façade they are putting on and try to see how you can help. If you do that you may discover that your own struggles seem to fade into the background. Sometimes that is because you realize how much less severe your problems are compared to those of someone else. Most of the time it is because the good feelings that you get from helping someone else replaces the self-pity in which you were mired. You free yourself from that swamp when you help free others.

Care about somebody else today.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Procrastination…

February 26, 2024

I was going to write about this yesterday, but I decided to wait.

That’s how it starts. Procrastination is an insidious thing. It steals one’s time and stifles creativity. Even if you have no real idea how to get to a desired end point, jumping in and getting started is doing something, as opposed to doing nothing.

Doing something, even something wrong, gets one’s creative juices moving. Even the act of planning is better than just putting it off. Planning itself usually leads to some sort of action, doing things or buying things or assembling things that are needed to actually do whatever it is that is you goal. Reviewing past efforts and trying to learn from them is better than continually repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.

The problem with procrastination is that one becomes inert. Inertia can be a hard thing to overcome, not because it feels satisfying, but because it feels safe. There is little danger associated with inertia, whereas doing something may involve perceived risk or danger.  

Of times the challenge ahead may seem overwhelming. That is often because you can only see it at the macro level – the whole problem at once. One trick to break out of the inertia of procrastination is to break the big job down into small tasks and take on the first small task that must be accomplished. Accomplishing even a small step will get your momentum started. Once you build up any momentum you will find it both rewarding and addictive. You will not want to go back to procrastinating.

So, like the graphic stated, the time is now. Get started. Don’t let procrastination hold yo back. Build momentum instead. Like the Nike tag line says – Just Do It.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Simple is best…

February 20, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/20/24 – reposts of the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed…


“In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.” (Longfellow) Christopher News Notes tells of Susan Vogt and how she challenged herself to get rid of one item each day during Lent. Not only did she want to live more simply, but she also wanted to donate things to those in need. It was so successful that she decided to keep on doing it…every day…one item. What a great idea – giving up “things” for Lent!  😉  Jack  
 
Originally sent Feb 18, 2015.

One reason many older people get identified (or misidentified) as hoarders is that they don’t get rid of things. For reasons that are a mystery keeping things (even things that others might call trash) gives them a sense of security. They have their “stuff” all around themselves.

I find myself questioning why I have kept some of my stuff, especially old clothes or shoes that I no longer wear. Some of those items are quite worn, even threadbare, but many are not; I just don’t wear them anymore. I must become more like Susan Vogt and challenge myself to get rid of those things. It’s really not that hard to find places to donate stuff, especially things that are still useful or wearable.

Getting rid of stuff is one way to simplify your life. Another way is to always live truthfully. Living any other way means having to remember the lies that you’ve told or the conspiracy theories that you believe are ruling your life. Conspiracy theories and misinformation are anything but simple and should be easy to identify and avoid. Why then are so many people taken in by them and led astray?  I suspect that the answer is fear of the truth. The truth often exposes our mistakes or past transgressions and, if accepted, could lead to a perceived loss of power, possessions, or prestige.

Instead of expending large amounts of mental energy concocting elaborate conspiracy theories about those who are supposedly manipulating things against you, it is much simpler to just admit that you were wrong, forgive yourself and move on with life – simple. The hidden key to that approach is that you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions, rather than trying to blame some invisible hand that you think is trying to manipulate you. The mantra “I’m in charge of me” is much simpler than trying to explain how George Soros (or pick your own conspiracy theory) is somehow controlling things (and you)from behind the scenes.

Life does not have to be complicated. Just remember and heed Longfellow’s words – “In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.” 

In more modern times we have an acronym for that – KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Give yourself a break…

February 12, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/12/24 – Originally sent April 21, 2015.


“You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.” (Sent by NCD) Each year my insurance provider asks for a health assessment, including a part which asks me to rate my stress level. I’ve read that some stress is good for all of us. As with much of life–All things in moderation! But, when nerves get you down, take some deep breaths, write a thank you note, go for a walk, make a gratitude list, and don’t forget to pray. 😉  Jack   


 
Most of us stress ourselves by being to critical and unforgiving of ourselves. We are obviously the only ones who can really answer the question, “What was he/she thinking?” and sometimes we just don’t like the answer. In fact, many people deflect blame from themselves by seeking someone or something else to blame for the bad outcome of what was a bad decision. Give yourself a break.

Sometimes we exacerbate the stress by imposing artificial and unrealistic deadlines upon ourselves. Sometimes we commit to achieving success in a task for which we are ill prepared to tackle (if prepared at all). Sometimes we commit to a goal that can only be achieved by a team of people and watch in disgust or despair when teammates let us down by failing in their part of the task. Almost always we look back on a failure and ask ourselves what we could have done differently to change the outcome.  Give yourself a break.

I saw recently in a report that some companies are starting to evaluate the performance of their employees based upon their success with the process rather than the outcome. That is important because it acknowledges that most bigger jobs (tasks) are comprised of multiple steps (the process) that are defined by others and that success at the macro-level is out of the control of the individual performing the detailed steps.  This allows a team-sport athlete who “left it all on the field” to feel good about themselves even in the face of a team defeat. Give yourself a break.

I have posted here a few times about forgiving yourself and that is a big part of giving yourself a break. The road to despair is paved with “what if” and “I should have…” guilt trips. Don’t go there. You didn’t and that is that. Forgive yourself and move on. Give yourself a break.

I like this quote – “The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” — Thomas S. Monson

We can’t just forget the past or change it, but we can use it as a teaching moment and hopefully learn from it. We also cannot change the future, but we can get ourselves better prepared for it by developing and practicing a better decision-making process. That process begins in the here and now. Give yourself a break.

Becoming more conscious of how you make decisions will hopefully enable you to improve that process. Sometimes that decision-making awareness will expose many of the bad assumptions or prejudices that drive your decisions and behavior. Make correcting those a priority but forgive yourself for having them and move on. Give yourself a break.

Jack’s last suggestion that you can relieve stress through prayer is an important one. Prayer allows you to forgive yourself and free you to move on. Prayer allows you to admit that you do not and cannot have the answers to every challenge. It allows you to lean on your faith and upon God for those answers. I use my little prayer, “Not my will, but Thy will be done” to Give myself a break. Try it, It might work for you, too. Give yourself a break.

Leave a Comment » | faith, Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

What’s the “next play” for you?

February 5, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 2/05/24 – reprises of posts to the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.


“Next play!” (Mike Krzyzewski) A recent article in the Detroit Free Press told how “Coach K”, head basketball coach at Duke, has a ritual of saying to his team after every play (good or bad), “Next play!” No matter what’s happened, focus on the task at hand. We all have “downers.” We need to be able to “let go,” and concentrate on the now, not the past. Success occurs (or is lost) in the brief moment of opportunity. Whatever happens, be ready to yell, “Next play! Next play!” 😉 Jack – Originally posted February 20, 2015

We all have a tendency to linger on the past, especially when focusing upon mistakes that we’ve made. Some never get to the next play because they refuse to let go of the past. In order to move ahead, we must be able to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. We can certainly try to learn from those mistakes; however, no matter how much we may wish to, there is no going back, no “do-overs” in life. For now at least, time only moves in one direction. Next play.

The starting point for moving into your future is to get back to the here and now – the present. You must be able to snap out of those thoughts of regret or remorse and get your bearings in the present. Then you can start to plan for how to get from where you find yourself to where you want to be. Next play.

Maintaining the basketball game theme, you have probably seen many of those instances when the teams take a time out and the coaches sit in a team huddle drawing the next play on a small whiteboard. That’s actually not a bad thing to try in real life. Get yourself a small whiteboard and an erasable marker and sit down and draw out or write out what you want to do next – your Next Play.

Just the process of having to write it down will force a level of clarity into your thought process. It will also force you to think of what things might need to be done (including forgiving yourself) before you can take that next step and make that Next Play.

An interesting side benefit of doing that is that it snaps your mind from focusing upon the past and into thinking about the future. It can be a very real way to deal with the depressing thoughts that there is no future. You can see a future now. It is written down and waiting for you to get to the Next Play.

So take the advice of Coach “K” and Jack Freed. Whether what just happened in your life was good or bad, it is over. Write it down on your little whiteboard and then carefully erase it as you let go of it. Then write down where you want to be. It’s time to focus on the Next Play.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »