NormsMilfordBlog

From my favorite daily blog comes this sage bit of advice –  “Sit loosely in the saddle of life.”  (Robert Louis Stevenson)  The Shaka!  Perhaps you’ve seen it.  Fold down the middle 3 fingers and extend the thumb and the pinkie   In Hawaii, it means hang loose…relax…everything will be OK.  In the dark days of WW 2, Churchill held up 2 fingers in the form of a V.  Hang loose!  In this world where every day seems to present a new problem, someone needs to give the Shaka sign.   😉  Jack – www.jackswinningwords.blogspot.com

In real estate this is especially true these days. There are no easy, straightforward real estate deals anymore, or so it seems. Every sale is a struggle to get to the closing table. There always seem to be more issues, more rules, more reasons to delay or not approve things – more people who are up tight. Yet things get done, sales close and houses change hands. I’m convinced that today, more than ever, having a positive, “can do” attitude and being persistent is critical. Sometimes that’s hard, but it is necessary. I’ve found recently that having just one person who won’t give up and continues to act as a cheerleader for the others in the process can make all the difference.

So, while I agree with the philosophy to hang loose, everything will be OK, I also think someone needs to be out front leading that cheer. Sometimes that needs to be me. Maybe sometimes that needs to be you.

There was an article in this morning’s Oakland press about so-called Moral Relativism – the ability of some people to take the decision that whatever they just did must be morally right, because they just did it. It’s sort of thinking, “I think it right, so it must be right.”

I’m not sure that I understand how someone can come to that conclusion or state of mind, which requires a moral compass with no grounding, just spinning in the wind. It does, however, help explain why it is so easy for so many people to blow off traffic signs and fail to stop at Stop signs or yield at Yield signs or to ignore the speed limit. Apparently in their minds it is OK for them to ignore those laws or rules or signs because they have decided that it is OK – moral relativism at work.

At the base of this way of thinking is a total lack of any kind of moral foundation for life. It is a very self-centered point of view, because it is based upon only what the person feels is right for them and not within the context of the society in which they have to live.

Everyone is self-centered, one cannot not be that way; however, to the extent that one can also be aware of and sensitive to the needs and requirements of others around them, as well as aware of the rules and laws of the society that we must live in; we exist within a society.

More egregious transgressions against others, such as robbery or doing bodily harm are thus labeled “anti-social behavior”; and they are more easily identified and avoided by most. It’s the little things (rules and laws) that are the easiest to rationalize away.  I’m in a hurry, so it’s OK for me not to stop at every sign. I need to get somewhere quickly, so it’s OK for me to speed. I pay a lot of things so it’s OK for me to accept the wrong change for a purchase and not return the excess. And so on and so on. After a while our moral borders can get pushed out pretty far – moral relativism.

I suspect that the battle against moral relativism is constantly waged in most people’s lives. A key to winning that battle, or at least fighting the good fight, is to have a solid moral foundation to begin with. For most that begins in the home and is reinforced and strengthened in the church and in school. The natural tendency of children to seek acceptance and to strive to understand what is right and thus worthy of parental, clerical or teacher praise is a powerful building block of a good moral compass. Sometimes the fact that parents understand that their children are looking at them and their behavior can also be a great influence on the parents to do the right things.

So, parents; reject moral relativism and do the right things in front of your children and in life in general.  If you need help with this, there are many books that have been written by great philosophers about morals and human behavior; but, perhaps the best book to start with is the Bible, one of the greatest books every written to guide one into doing the right thing. Start there and you can’t go wrong.

From the blog, Jack’s Winning Words comes this little gem – “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” (Shakespeare) This quote is from “All’s Well That Ends Well,” and is advice that a mother gives her departing son.

Her son must have been going away to become a Realtor, because that is great advice for the profession. You have to love dealing with people to be in this profession and there are likely more than a few that you can trust (but not all) and you certainly should try not to do wrong to any. I note that it says do wrong to none and not the words used in the Hippocratic Oath to “Do no harm”.  I guess that’s why there is E&O insurance.

So, Shakespeare’s advice might be something to post above the door and take a quick look at each day as we set about doing real estate. Some days it will be harder than others to love all and many days it’s tough to trust very many but every day we can at least try to do wrong to none.