How to rest easy…

August 8, 2014

“Fear can keep us up all night, but faith makes one fine pillow.”  (Philip Gulley), from the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

Many people live in world of FUD (Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt); they are always anxious that some unknown bad thing is about to happen to them. In most cases, such fears spring from the creative well of our own minds. To pervert an old saying, “If it ain’t broke, we break it”, at least in our imaginations.

Knowledge can sometimes remove or lessen the fears; but, even equipped with the best knowledge about whatever it is that we fear, we are still able to conjure up “what, if” scenarios that exacerbate the situation. Fear is after all driven by the unknown – things about which we do not have complete knowledge.

Hope is also a strong counter-force to fears or uncertainty. One can hope that nothing goes awry.  People tend to use hope more to mask their fears than to deal with them. You can often still see fear in the eyes of those who are saying that they hope everything turns out alright.

So, if knowledge and hope are not enough to allay out fears, what is left? At the end of the day, it usually comes down to having faith, and being confident in that faith, that gets us through the crisis, whether real or imagined.  Faith is what is there when you have exhausted all else. Faith is what is there to lean upon when you finally conclude that you cannot do it by yourself. Having faith is not giving up, it is admitting that you need help and seeking that help in the only place left when you have come to the end of your rope.

I have a hard time even trying to imagine what those with no faith do when they have reached the end of their own wits. Where does one turn if they have turned away from faith? Where does one vest their hope if they do not have faith as an option? To whom (or what) do they go for the help that they need?

As for me, I prefer the comforting pillow of faith. It has helped me get to sleep on many troubled nights.

 

 

 

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Put on your slippers…

August 6, 2014

From the Jack’s Winning Words blog – “It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.”  (Al Franken)  Jack went on to write – It’s interesting to note that there’s an actual comedian in Congress.  In thisslippewrs instance, Al’s humor makes sense.  We can’t solve all the world’s problems, but we can do something about some of them.  Foster-parenting is one.  Collecting school clothing for needy kids is another.  Are there people you know who are wearing slippers today?

An inverse or negative way to make the same statement might be – “It’s easier to put on a pair of boots than to clean up the mess that you’ve got to walk through.” Many people seem happy to just put on a pair of boots and wade through the mess, rather than working to clean things up. Still others would prefer to stand on one side and complain about the mess that is preventing them from progressing; again, rather than do anything to clean it up. Do you know people like that, too?

bucket and scoopSo, which are you? Do you put on your sippers and do what you can now, without waiting for the floor to be carpeted; for everything to be perfect? Do you avoid the work of cleaning things up by putting on a pair of boots and wading through the mess; or, do you grab a bucket and shovel or mop and start making things right?

What’s the common thread between those two views of the world? It’s taking action to do something, rather than finding excuses to wait and not act just because the conditions aren’t perfect. I’ve know people who spend inordinate amounts of time making excuses about why they aren’t doing something and what they have to wait for, rather than jumping in and helping or righting a wrong. They convince themselves and then try to convince those around them that they can’t takeboots action until some other thing is corrected first. In their minds, the act of making the excuse is action and they claim to be ready to act, just as soon as the imagined obstacles in their way are removed. By the time that happens the job has been done or the need has passed, usually not with good results. Of course then they convince themselves that the need wasn’t really all that important in the first place.

So, today, put on your slippers, or get out your shovel, and starting doing something that needs to be done, rather than finding more excuses for doing nothing. Sure the world isn’t perfect and it won’t be no matter how long you wait, but someone will be happier in your little corner of the world because you reached out and helped or did what needed to be done. World hunger will not be solved; but some little, old lonely person will be happy tonight because you brought them a Meals –on-Wheels meal and stayed to chat for w few moments. Some at-risk child will go to bed tonight with a smile on his or her face because you took the time through Big Brothers or Big Sisters to reach out to them and help. Some soldier helping childin a far off land will feel more connected to home because you took the time to write a note and send some treats.

You may not have solved the worlds issues with hunger and loneliness in the elderly or resolve the issues with at risk children or cause world peace and bring all of the soldier everywhere home; but your single act of caring or kindness made one little part of that bigger problem better, at least for today. And tonight, when you take your slippers off, you will feel a whole lot better about yourself.

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t you just hate that…

August 5, 2014

“Anger or hatred is like a fisherman’s hook. It is very important for us to ensure that we are not caught by it.” – Dalai Lama

What is unsaid in the Dalai Lama’s statement is that the hook of anger or hatred is normally baited by things that entice us to bite. The danger is increased in both by the speed with which they normally come on. Road rage is a good example of anger that can instantly take over a normally docile person. Hatred, on the other hand, may take time to develop; although some people are prone to saying, “I hate that” at the drop of a hat.

blowhardOne piece of sage advice that you hear a lot to deal with anger is to stop and count to ten when something has happened that would make you angry. What’s at work in that little piece of advice is creating the time for your brain to allow reason or logic to kick in before your react to the incident. It gives you time to think, “so what, if that guy cut in front of me?” Does it really matter enough for you to get angry? What purpose will it serve for you to yell at that person or flip a gesture at them? What if that just made them angry too and now the whole incident has suddenly escalated? There is no win-win scenario that can come out of allowing escalating anger to take you over.

While anger is transient – flaring up quickly and then gone in the next instant – hatred can build over time, festering in the back of your mind. It usually take a while for something to progress from “I don’t like that” to “I hate that”; but not always. People do snap to a judgment of hate sometimes on non-personal things, or at least they use the phrase – “I hate that.” Whenever I hear someone use that phrase about an object, I generally interject, “Hate is such a strong emotionhate computer to waste on and inanimate object.” Sometimes that helps them see the error of their statement in the situation at hand; sometimes not. After all, in that moment, they are filled with hate.

Hate is a very strong emotion and is usually directed at someone, sometimes because of some perceived wrong that they have done to us. Hate is an ugly emotion that probably causes much more harm to the person harboring it that to the target of the feeling. Both hate and anger have been shown to have negative health effects on the people carrying them around, usually to do with elevated blood pressure levels. Hate can be a powerful driver. Hate can also push out logic and reason from our minds and drive behavior that defies either. That is angry couplewhy so many hate crimes are so hard to believe or understand. A normal person can’t imagine what would drive someone to commit them. There seems to be absolutely no redeeming qualities about hate at all, so working to keep it out of your life is a good thing.

So, let us all take the Dalai Lama’s advice and avoid the hooks of hate or anger in our lives as much as possible. Take the time to stop and count to ten (to twenty, if you need to) and let your brain regain control over the emotions that have welled up and tried to take you over. Be in control and be calm; or as the British say KCCO. You will feel much better for it.

4 Comments | Inspiration | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

For fast relief…

August 4, 2014

“For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.”  (Lily Tomlin) – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

Mary Jean “Lily” Tomlin is a Detroit-born American actress, comedian, writer, and producer. She has been a major force in American comedy since the late 1960s, when she began a career as a stand-up comedian and became a featured performer on television’s Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. She went on to appears in many movies and on several TV shows. For a person as busy as Lily was and is still, I suspect that the insight that she shared in today’s quote was important to maintaining her balance in life.

It is obvious to all that we live in a much faster-paced world today than existed just a couple of decades ago. We are ubiquitously “connected” almost all of the time and for some that constant since of urgency to react and respond has only added to the pace. For many our need to service our devices seems to have taken over life. The constant need to share the information “where are you?” and “what are you doing?” has actually become more important to some than the reality of where reading newspaperthey are and what they are supposed to be doing (and with whom).

Many older means of communication or information sharing, like letter writing or reading a newspaper have been supplanted by faster, electronic versions, many of them summarized down to a sound bite or a paragraph or two. The music industry was turned on its ear by the rise of music file sharing on our devices, with the result that release and sales of traditional albums is almost dead. Sales of physical musical products, like CDs, have plummeted and many performers eschew agents and recording deals altogether and release their songs directly to the public on-line. All of these things have added to the sense of urgency and speed in put everyday lives and caused us all to become a little overwhelmed by the perceived need to keep up.

I’ve written before about one little respite that I find helps me and that is slowing down and sitting on my front porch for a while. Porch sitting is a lost art for most, mainly because large front porches that one could sit on fell out of favor with builders. I happen to live in a historic home that has a very large, wrap-around front porch that is screened in. I can sit out there without being bothered by bugs and watch as people walk by (I was tempted to use the term “stroll by”, but no one seems to have the time to just stroll anymore either). Admittedly a nice glass of wine makes the experience all the more enjoyable.  That is my way of slowing down and getting fast relief.

So, what do you do to find a break from the pace of life? If you don’t have a big front porch to sit on, maybe you have a deck or patio or maybe just a quiet room somewhere in your house that you can “retreat” to. You need to have a refuge somewhere. You need to be able to put down the phone for a nap at workwhile and kick back and just relax. Turning off the phone is even better, but that causes anxiety for many.  For some a nap in the middle of the day may be the answer. That is certainly one sure way to slow down for  a few moments. I’ve done that occasionally and even a short nap of 10-15 minutes is very refreshing. Surprisingly, the world seemed able to function and go on without me for that time.

One must at some point choose just how fast they are going to try to live their life and how much effort to put into “keeping up” with everything that might be going on around them. One could do well to heed the advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, – “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” He might well have gone on to say that her reward is longevity.

So, have a great day, but take a few moments, maybe several times during the day, hop off the treadmill of life to slow down and be at peace. The world will go on and you can hop back on at the next stop.

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Unleash the power of you…

August 1, 2014

The power of you

I saw that little phrase on a postcard that is advertising an upcoming event for youth at the Milford YMCA. The program is aimed at empowering youth and I’m sure that it will be great. It was the thought behind that little phrase that really caught my attention, mainly because it reinforced a longer quote that I saw recently on the Jack’s Winning Words blog –

“I am the people-the mob-the crowd-the mass.  Do you know that all the great work in the world is done by me?”  (Carl Sandburg)

Most people go through life never considering the power that they have to change the world around them, maybe because they don’t know how impactful even the small changes that they can accomplish themselves might end up being. After all, how can one little act of kindness that you might perform or one service that you might render for another person or for an organization make all that much difference? Yet we see and hear story after story on the news shows about whole movements taking of or trends being started by the actions of one person – the power of you.

aha momentOne little girl somewhere in Nowhere, Oklahoma starts collecting pennies to buy candy to send to troops overseas and suddenly everyone everywhere seems to be saving up to send candy, too.  A lady in Outthere, Alabama shaves her head to share in the hair-loss experience of her best friend with cancer as she undergoes chemotherapy and suddenly everyone in town seems to show up with a bald pate. There are tons of those stories and theyt all started because of the power one person- thButterfliese power of you.

In science there is a thing called the Butterfly effect, defined thusly in WikiPedia:  In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependency on initial conditions in which a small change at one place in a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state. That’s a whole mouthful to say that many big events or happenings may be traced back to very small initial causes – the power of you.
women dreaming

Yesterday I wrote about believing in yourself and you will see that others believe in you, too. Today, let’s extend that thought to include believing that you can make a difference; that the things that you do to make the world a better place or to help make someone else’s life better do matter and they do cause change in the world. There are things in life that are hard to see changing, because the changes are so slow or so small, but they do happen and we believe in them. I don’t disbelieve when someone tells me that an iceberg is advancing at 2-3 feet a year down a slope just because I can’t see it move when I stand in front of it, even if I stand there all day. Likewise you may not see a big, dramatic change in the world because you stopped and helped a turtle cross the road, but it did change because of the power of you.

So, each day, as you awake and get ready for the day, remind yourself that you have the power to change the world. You can make someone else happy that day. You can ease a pain or lift a burden from someone. You can choose to happily greet people and engage them in conversation. Maybe some of them were lonely before they met you or they might have been down in the dumps. You had the power to change their lives and youhelping old lady
did. Maybe you can just do a great job at work today, knowing that much needed work got done because you were there and used your power. Maybe you can volunteer today to take food to shut-ins, or collect food for others to distribute or maybe you’ll end up cleaning up after others who have been working, so that the place is ready for tomorrow. Whatever it is, keep in mind that it would not have gotten done without the power of you.

At the end of each day, you should look back over the day and realize how the world is different because you were there. Even if you can only recall a single thing that you did that seemed insignificant at the time, remember the Butterfly effect; perhaps your little act of kindness or sympathy or empathy set of a series of events that whelmed into a torrent of goodness somewhere else and it all happened because of the power of you.

So, power up and face the day my friends; you have a world to change!

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

First, believe in yourself…

July 31, 2014

“If you don’t believe in yourself, who will?” – seen in the comic strip Nancy.

Every now and then a daily comic strip from the paper will strike a chord with me; admittedly that was more unicornoften when the Calvin and Hobbs strip was a daily feature, but it still happens. In this strip Nancy and her Aunt Fritz were discussing the disappearance of Unicorns and Nancy offered that bit of pithy insight into what might have happened to them. They didn’t even believe in themselves, so they vanished from the earth.

The really important message in Nancy’s little saying is that your success, your breakthrough in life, your ability to cope with what life throws at you, your ticket to happiness begins with your belief in yourself. Others will not get or develop a sense of you as a person that they want to know and be around, if you can’t even develop that same feeling about yourself. I’ve written about that here in many different posts (so read backwards through my posts until you find them all). You have to like you first; then you can start liking others and they can like you back. Feel free to substitute the word love in that last sentence.cheering up

Now, I will admit that there are people who sometime may have more faith and confidence you than you have in yourself. Those are your personal “cheerleaders” and they are an important reinforcement for the belief that you must have in yourself. Some of these people may occasionally take on very aggressive roles similar to the trainers that you see on the TV reality programs such as “The Biggest Loser”. They may push or cajole you towards success; sometimes seeming harsh in their entreats, but always on your side and cheering you on.

It’s great if you have those supporters in your corner; but, the fact remains that it is you who must believe; you who must know that you can achieve the goal; you who be willing to push beyond your old, self-imposed limits to reach new heights. You must believe in yourself. After a while, if you don’t believe in yourself, those cheerleaders will turn into sympathizers or worse. People will cheer forever for the person that they think will keep trying forever; but they will leave the stands and go home on the person who quits and admits defeat in front of them. So, like the Unicorns, who may not have believed in themselves as Nancy put it; you will disappear.

reaching goalYou must believe that you make a difference, that your dreams and aspirations are worthwhile and that, if you work hard enough and long enough, you will achieve them. You must believe in you first. Others, who believe in you, too, will follow. I’ve met many people in my journey through life who struggled with believing in themselves. Some had been beaten down by bullies in their life (sometimes parents) who tried to convince them that they weren’t worth anything. Once they found a way to like themselves and accept who they are, as they are; they next found the strength to stand up and say, “I believe in me and there’s nothing that can stop me now.” They are a joy to watch and fun to be around, because they are finally empowered to be all that they could have been all along.

If you’ve already “jumped that shark” and feel good about yourself and empowered to be successful, reachhelping hand back and grasp the hand of someone you might know who is still trembling in fear of failure and help them get to that place, too. There’s nothing wrong with sharing some of the power by being able to say,” I believe in me and I believe in you, too.” Help them get to that state of belief in themselves that feeds upon itself and fuels success.

Have a great, empowered day!

6 Comments | Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

“You can’t do life by yourself.”

July 30, 2014

Today’s little quote comes from a news story on the local news last night that concerned an international soccer competition for the homeless of the world. The story concerned this athletic competition which is between people who were homeless in various countries. Click here to see the ace of the homeless from around the world. As one participant from the U.S. was being interviewed about it he expressed his thankfulness for the program and the assistance that he has received and he said, “you can’t do life by yourself.”

That statement was much more profound than I’m sure he realized at the time. You don’t have to be homeless to come to that conclusion, but people who have lived on the streets probably realize it quicker and more deeply than most of us. None of us lives in a vacuum, by ourselves; however, many homeless people come awfully close to that – cut off from the rest of society many times they form a little society of their own out on the streets, because “you can’t do life by yourself.”

gloomy guySometimes there are people who aren’t homeless, just friendless. These are people, who for one reason or another, are cut off, or have cut themselves off, from others. They have a home and maybe even some pets (many time way too many pets), but they don’t have friends or relatives or anyone else to interact with, so they become little islands unto themselves. They are cut off and become hermits or recluses because they don’t realize that “you can’t do life by yourself.”

Hopefully you are not homeless or like one of those people who have become islands unto themselves. What you can become, without realizing it, is someone who by their actions and reactions pushes people away, refusing help or advice when it is really needed. You may be trying to live life by yourself and not even realize it. If you are lucky you will have friends who see this and realize that you need help, even if youcheering up can’t find a way to ask for it. Those are true friends; let them into your life. They know that “you can’t do life by yourself.”

There are those who, for reasons of pride or arrogance or bullheadedness, can’t seem to admit that they need the support or help of others. Some are people who will steadfastly resist a hug and may need a slap up-side-the-head. They may resist your help, but don’t give up on them. Sometimes you just need to grab them by the shoulders and give them a good shake and yell at them “you can’t do life by yourself.”

For the most part, though, I think you’ll find a welcome smile and warm embrace from someone that you see needs your help and concern. Don’t be afraid to ask if you can help. Don’t be shy about offering to help caringand don’t hold back when your help is accepted. You’ll feel good about helping and you’ll feel better knowing that when your time comes to need help, others will be there because they too know, “you can’t do life by yourself.”

So, go out today and be a friend, be there for someone in need, listen to someone’s sad story and offer comfort and help. Help someone who is down and out. Reach out to someone is alone and lonely, even if they won’t admit it. Basically be a human being, because as a human being you know that “you can’t do life by yourself.”

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Wind yourself up…

July 29, 2014

“You can’t turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.”  (Bonnie Prudden)

That little saying that I saw on the Jack’s Winning Words blog hit home for me because I’m in the process of trying to wind my own clock up a bit by turning back the clock on my weight. I’ve been on one of those diets where one substitutes a supplement shake for a couple of meals a day for about a month now and have dropped a little over 10 pounds. I kiddingly measure my progress by trying to remember who was in the White House the last time I was at a certain weight level. I think I’m at the same level now as I was when grandfather clockRichard Nixon was President. I’m shooting for the Kennedy years, before too much beer in college took over.

Some people are naturally upbeat and full of energy; while others (I count myself in this group) need a little push I the right direction to get started. That’s one reason that I look forward to getting my daily email about the topic that day on the Jack’s Winning Words blog. Jack tends to choose more upbeat quotes or at least quotes that make one think and that’s a good start to any day. That allows one to engage the brain before engaging the mouth, which is another little saying that I’ve seen somewhere.

I also get a good start to each day curtesy of my dogs. They need to go for a walk the first thing each morning; so, off we go usually at about 6 AM to tour the neighborhood and take care of business.  They arewalking dogs usually frisky in the morning, so this is a brisk walk to start my day and theirs. I find that to be refreshing and it gives me a little re-charge before I launch into each day. We actually walk four times a day and visit the dog park every day, all of which is helping with my weight loss goals.

But, enough about me; how about you? Do you need on occasion to rewind your clock, to re-energize yourself?  How do you do that? Sometimes just starting your day reading something inspirational can help to get you in a more positive frame of mind. That’s one reason that I try to write more upbeat posts and get them posted early in the day. I hope that they help someone somewhere get a better start on their day.

reaching goalSo, don’t look back and try to turn the clock back. That isn’t going to happen anyway. Instead rewind your clock and look forward to new things, new opportunities, meeting new people, having new adventures in life, learning new things and achieving new goals. Remember this little piece of advice…

“Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” -Bil Keane

Rewind your clock and enjoy the present of today. And, for those coming off a bad yesterday, here’s a another simple but great thought for today –

“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” – H. G. Wells

Wind yourself up and have a great today!

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t overthink life…

July 28, 2014

I recently watched a couple of videos about a home improvement product that is used in level out uneven floors. It’s a simple thing, really; just mix it up and pour it on the floor. There’s a little bit more to it, but not much and one piece of advice in the videos that was particularly valuable was “don’t over think this.”

man thinkingI got to thinking (not about the product) that we all make that mistake of overthinking lots of very simple things in life, whether they be tasks that we have to accomplish or things like relationships. Things don’t have to be as complicated as we make them sometimes. In fact, I suspect that the simpler something is (or should be) the more we overthink it and make it more complex than it needs to be. That is a by-product of having very creative imaginations and probably too much time on our hands.

Have you ever run into people who are always asking you, “what did you mean by that?” For some reason, these people want to (or need to read something into everything, even if there was no hidden meaning in whatever it was that you said. If you say, “you look good today”, they take it to mean that you didn’t look good yesterday or that you usually don’t look good, but today you do.  They are overthinking everything that you say and probably everything else in theirsurrounded by sharks lives.

The same thing can happen to people who are asked to perform simple tasks for someone else, like watching their house while they are gone or getting in the mail. All of a sudden their imaginations conjures up all sorts of things that could go wrong or reasons for the request that go beyond the obvious. They are overthinking that simple request.

Sometimes relationships get overthought, too. One of the parties in the relationship may start wondering why the other party likes them or what they may want from them. They may conjure up convoluted scenarios of plots or schemes by the other party. After all, there must be a reason or motive for their interest, right? That’s overthinking things.
Most things in life are as simple and straightforward as they appear, without guile or suspicious motives. I tend to be the type that trusts people until they prove me wrong and not the other way around. I feel bad thinking womanfor people who go into every relationship encounter with suspicion or fear. I think the best advice is that that was given for the home improvement product – don’t over think this. Learn to just go with the flow and let people into your life without concern or fear that they are somehow out to do you some undefined harm. Open up to them and they will open up to you.

Got to go now, I think I might have overthought this topic. Have a great, simple and straightforward day. Don’t overthink it.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

You can’t please everyone…

July 27, 2014

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” – Bill Cosby

I certainly can relate to this little saying attributed to Bill Cosby. I’m the type of person that doesn’t really like conflict and sometimes that can result in trying to please everyone in a situation that ends up pleasing no one. I’ve written here before about trying to find a win-win solution to things that crop up in my real estate business. The same is general y true of how I approach conflicts in life; however, sometimes that is not possible and I must come down on one side or the other in a disagreement.

alternate outcomesI’ve known people who just couldn’t bring themselves to take a side or to say no to someone. They were trying to please everyone and usually ended up making everyone unhappy with them. It is important not to be closed minded, but there are many things that you need to have an opinion about that may not please everyone. There are also people whom you just can’t please, no matter what; and wasting too much time trying with them is just that – a waste of your time. Successful people can make those calls and move on in life without agonizing over them or beating themselves up because they didn’t please everyone.

So, perhaps you can try to accommodate everyone, as best as you can; or maybe you can at least toleratepositive attitude
everyone, even in the face of rebuke or anger; but, don’t try to please everyone. That’s a fool’s game at which you cannot win.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »