It’s the time of the year when we all seem to have fun with making New Year’s resolutions. That is the problem; we do it in fun and without real resolve. The list of “resolutions” really is just a wish list. Instead of “I will lose weight in 2016”, we are really just saying, “I wish I could lose weight in 2016.” I will go to the gym, becomes “I wish I got to the gym more.” And on it goes.
The issue starts with the fun nature of the New Year’s resolution process; we just don’t take it all that seriously; however, the real issue is lack of accountability. We don’t hold ourselves accountable and most of us don’t have accountability partners or coaches. Some, of course, have discovered that the key to making resolutions or commitments actually come true is being held accountable for them. They have formed an accountability partnership with someone else or have hired an accountability coach.
I will admit that I have done neither, and thus have no real experience to report; however, I do know a few people who have entered into such arrangements and they swear by them. They meet with their accountability partner once a week and report on the status of the 
commitments that they shared. Having to account for ones actions or inaction in the face of commitments that were made has the effect of causing one to become more diligent about meeting goals, completing tasks and generally fulfilling resolutions and commitments.
A good accountability partner will asked the second question if you’ve reported that you did not meet a commitment. “Why not?” Just the fact that someone else remembers what you said that you were going to do and asks you if you did it will help you focus. They will also help you cut through the BS and excuses that you may be using with yourself to excuse your lack of follow through. You will not like having to embarrass yourself 
time-after-time in front of them. Over time they will also help you formulate more realistic goals and commitments by helping you see that overcommitting and then under-performing may be at the root of your issues.
So, as you start thinking about the thinks that you’d like to resolve to do in 2016, start by resolving to find an accountability partner or hiring one. Resolutions become just empty promises if there is no accountability. Go ahead and resolve to get to the gym and lose weight; but, have someone to hold your feet to the fire if you don’t follow through. Have a great and accountable 2016.
Posted by Norm Werner 
collective will of the people. Those with the ability to tap into the Force and focus it in the cause of good are called Jedi warriors. There are others who tap into the dark side of people’s wills and use that for evil. All of the stories of the Star Wars franchise have been about this continuing struggle between good and evil. At any point in time, evil may seem to have the upper hand or may win a specific battle; however, the overall message of the Star Wars series and of Wadsworth’s Christmas song lyrics is that right (good) will prevail and we shall have peace on earth. To believe otherwise is to allow yourself to be drawn over to the dark side and you will find no joy there.
resolve to join the Force in the battle for peace on earth, good will to men by doing your part and making your contribution to the end of hatred, prejudices and bigotry. Say a kind word to someone. Do a good deed for someone. Offer the hand of friendship to someone in need of a friend. Stand up and speak out against the injustices that you see and the bullying that you witness. Become a living witness to the good that God promises all with the birth of Jesus.
a time to look at what happened in a manger over 2000 years ago and Believe.
compassion and sharing, and all of the other attributes which flow out of a heart filled with the love of Jesus. A mind focused upon the work of God has no time for cleverness or deceit or hatred or anger or prejudice. A soul committed to faith has no time for deceitfulness, spitefulness or hatefulness. A body engaged in good works in God’s name can do amazing things, endure unbelievable pain and overcome overwhelming odds; if we Believe.
kinder and gentler side. In the moments ahead, when you may be standing in church somewhere singing Silent Night, amidst the glow of the flickering candles of all who have come to worship; don’t analyze, don’t question and don’t overthink things – just Believe.
that something will happen. In real life, most seem to follow the rule that “silence is golden”. However, silence in the face of injustice is not golden, it is shameful. Not taking action when your heart tells you to is just as bad.
hat has gained foothold in America. “Them”, of course, are all of “those people” who are not like us – the foreigners, people of color, and people with religious practices or lifestyles that we do not understand. “They” almost always belong to one of those groups on the citizenship form that fall under non-white. “They” are different from us and that is scary.
planning clinic and shoot people with whom you disagree and say that you did that out of religious conviction. There are few religions that condone killing in the name of the religion. Certainly those who claim to be Christians may peacefully protest those things with which they do not agree or they may pray for the souls of those whom they consider to have wandered away from the teachings of Christ, but they do not harm others in the name of their religious beliefs. Nothing could be further from the teachings of Jesus than those types of actions taken in His name.
ed your help, such as food pantries or homeless shelters. Many are run mostly or entirely by volunteers, so more of your money goes directly to impact the cause and fill the needs. Every one of them, if you check into them, is run by people with a true passion for the help and services that they provide.
home, or perhaps taking them some food, maybe some Christmas cookies, or maybe even seeing if you can take them somewhere to get some shopping done for other errands. Don’t spend time lamenting your coulda, woulda, shoulda’s later, when it is too late to help or to visit.
intentions.” Of course you had every intention of visiting with them and helping were you could, but life got in the way. You became more than a distracted driver; you were living a distracted life. The distractions of work and family and everyday life pulled you so many directions that heading in the right direction and doing what was right became impossible. So, you put many of those things off until later. Until you realize that it is too late. Later is when you lament – “I know I should have…”
are acts of kindness and sharing and loving that you’ve been meaning to do, turn your thoughts into actions. Make that phone call or go make that visit. Give that special person in your life that hug that you’ve been meaning to give them and pause to tell them that you love them.
know of someone who has lost a loved one and may need some special words of hope and encouragement this Holiday – call them or go visit with them. Maybe, if you call the local retirement homes in your area and ask you’ll find that there are residents there who have no one to visit with them over the Holidays, and that will provide you with your opportunity to show kindness and compassion.
you’ve accomplished; rather than lying there saying, “I know I should have…” Will your act of kindness change the world? No, but it will change the world for that one person towards which you showed the kindness; and it will likely change the world for you, too. It’s not too late to start today.
is to be thankful for the things that we have – the blessings that we have received – and not to focus upon the thunderstorms of life, the trials and tribulations that we may have been through. A point well taken is that we are through those thunderstorms, still standing, and able to see the rainbow on the other side.
me?” It’s as if the death of someone else was purposely allowed to happen just to cause us pain. We may doubt God or question our faith during such times.
certainly OK to have goals and aspirations in life and some of those may involve getting to a position where you can have certain things that you don’t now have, for instance a first home or a new car; however, not having those things right now should not be considered to be a problem or thunderstorm in your life. Rather they represent rainbows that you haven’t gotten to yet. Focus on the persistence and perseverance that you need and keep a positive attitude and you will one day see those rainbows, too.
at moment in your life. Remember what Clint Eastwood said, that sounds a lot like a line from one of his Dirty Harry movies – “Tomorrow is promised to no one.” Be thankful for the rainbows that you already
Sluggo had just sent off a letter to Santa asking him to give his toy to someone who had no one to buy them a toy. He was thinking about the smile that the toy would put on someone else’s face on Christmas morning.
building. If you work in retail it can be the thing that causes the customers to buy and leave smiling themselves. The benefit to you is that it can make everyone that you come in contact with a bit more pleasant. The other side benefit is that it comes back around to you. When you see them start to smile, it may have the same effect on you as it does on Sluggo – it will make you smile, too.
“Every kiss begins with “K”. But well before you get to that kiss, every relationship begins with a smile. After all, how many people go over and introduce themselves to someone who is scowling at them? We take a smile as a positive sign, an inviting sign or at least a sign that that the smiling person is in a happy and upbeat mood – all things that encourage that first step towards a relationship. The Filipino rock band Rocksteddy put those thoughts into a song – 
h your contagious smile. You may have seen the recent ad where the office guys goes around dropping off packages to everyone and when they open them up they are full of dodgeballs. A happy game of dodgeball breaks out and everyone has fun. Well, maybe you can’t really do that at work, but if you go about your workplace dropping off smiles soon the whole room/building could be full of people having fun smiling at each other – maybe even the boss.
Have a smiley and happy day. There’s more to be happy (and thankful) about that the fact that it is Friday. When I think of you smiling, it makes me smile, too.
All of us fall on the enthusiasm spectrum somewhere between the Energizer Bunny on the upbeat end and Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh on the beat-up end. You’ve probably met a few people who were almost disgustingly upbeat and enthusiastic and most of us know someone who is always
down on themselves and complaining about everything that is happening in their lives. At one end is upbeat and at the other is beat up. Which end of that spectrum would people that you meet during the day place you at on that spectrum? Why?
unfortunately, most people don’t realize that their “at rest” facial expression is anything but a smile. It takes a conscious effort to smile. Most people don’t look as “neutral” as they think when they’re not smiling; in fact, many look unhappy, maybe even angry or in pain. Just look in the mirror without trying to put on any particular look and see what others see. Where do you think that “at rest” look puts you on the upbeat-to-beat-up spectrum in other people’s eyes? How attractive is that?
whatever it is that has made you so down. People avoid eye contact with others who look like they’re mad or sad. As Caruso points out (and most life coaches agree), people tend to gravitate towards like-minded people and a person’s visage is the first indication of that likeness. If you’re in a happy, upbeat mood you want meet and share that feeling with other happy, upbeat 
people, or at least those who look that way. You don’t seek out Mr. Grumpy to share your upbeat mood.
FANTASTIC and say it like you mean it. If nothing else, they’ll wonder what got into you to make you so happy. An interesting side-effect of doing that is that you’ll start to feel that way once you’ve said it a few times; because your mind will begin to supply you with the reasons that you are feeling fantastic. Not only that, but other upbeat people will start associating with you, because, as Caruso says, like-minded people attract each other.
on a happy face; tell yourself that you feel FANTASTIC; and get ready to greet the world from the upbeat end of the spectrum. After all; that’s where the rainbows end, and not in the gloom at the beat-up end of the spectrum. Have a GREAT and HAPPY day. I feel FANTASTIC and I hope I see you today, so that I can share my upbeat mood.
because we believe that it shows us what the world sees when they see us. Wrong. The mirror provides a mere glimpse of what the world sees when it encounters us. We do not come into focus in the eyes of others until they get to know the parts of us that the mirror cannot reflect. We look and we see “I’m too fat or my ears are too big or my hair is terrible today or my clothes aren’t the latest style or I’m ugly or I’m not this or I’m not that.” Why do we do that to ourselves? Because we lack the self-confidence to just say, “this is me, take me as I am and get to know me”.
is the most undemanding and appreciative companion that you could ever have. Dogs love their owners and that love expresses itself in happy tail wagging and licking and jumping and excitement at their every return after being way. They are genuinely happy to see you. Dogs don’t judge you on your looks or your clothes; they judge you on the affection that you share with them and they reward you with unconditional love in return.
you really are will be revealed in ways that the mirror could never show them. They will begin to see the real you. The mirror doesn’t lie, it just doesn’t show the whole truth about you.
act in ways that also makes you feel good. You may lose a few pounds, not because you thought you were fat, but because it makes you feel better. You may try a new hair style, not because you’ve seen it on some model in a magazine somewhere; but, because the new style is more about the “you” that you want to be. People will notice, too, that you carry yourself differently – confidently and with more pose. Why? Because you feel good about yourself and you want to share that good feeling with others.
Many of us spend a lifetime trying to figure out the answer to that question. Some wander about “in search of themselves.” Some just can’t seem to like the person that they see in the mirror and continually try to be someone or something else. Some turn to alcohol or drugs, which just add to the fog of not knowing who are you?
through a layoff or a retirement. Military veterans especially have that issue when they get out of the service. In the service you always know who you are what is expected of you. You have an infrastructure all around you and cohorts sharing your experiences. Leaving that structure is particularly hard on those who have served their country. They knew who they were and they don’t know who they are now. Sure they have roles at home, with family and friends; but it was at work or in the service where they could identify and really answer the question, who are you?
answer that they are a mother and a wife as they would identify what they do at work. They might express their identity in terms of friendships and roles within their day-to-day lives that have little to do with work. More and more, of course are in the workplace and achieving great success, but fewer than men seem to be as dependent upon their place within their work organization for their sense of identity; to help them answer the question, who are you?
others start trying to classify us and either welcome us or exclude us from various groups. Certainly we become more aware of the exclusions and perhaps more concerned about “fitting in” somewhere, with some group. It is through membership to those groups that we begin to formulate the answer to the question, who are you?
person. There are few (but it is not unheard of) instances in the animal world (including mankind) where the male is the caregiver to the young. The roles of wife, mother and caregiver strongly impact the sense of identity for most women; while most men focus more on achieving identity from their role as “breadwinner” – the great hunter for the family. With that mantle comes the requirement to be more stoic; more focused upon success in business and less on empathy at home. Caregiving takes a back seat to providing the means to survive and prosper. Standing off and watching from afar all too often takes the place of being involved and helping at home. The home becomes the man’s “castle” whereas for the woman it might be viewed as her “nest”. It’s not the best answer, but for many it is the only answer that they can see to the question, who are you?
caregivers. You have another chance to provide a new answer to the question. It is perhaps that time that you also conclude that who you are is less about how other people want to classify you and more about being comfortable in your own skin and in roles of your own choosing. It turns out that you finally know the answer to the question, who are you?
your place in life because you are living a meaningful life, helping others, sharing with others, loving others. Who are you? It’s not a question with an answer; it’s really about where you are on the journey that you are taking through life. Love yourself and be someone that others enjoy knowing and you won’t worry about the answer to that question anymore. Have a great week ahead. You know who you are.
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