The C’s and P’s of life…

March 16, 2022

As a Realtor® I have often written blog posts on my real estate blog about the three C’s of real estate – Condition, Clutter and Cleanliness. Those three things are critical factors in determining the price and speed at which a property will sell. In days past I would also usually also write about the three-P’s that that I advise the sellers about – Price, Patience and Perseverance. In these days of low inventory and rapidly rising prices the Three-P’s advice seems to matter less, but the three C’s still have a big impact on how quickly a property will sell and for how much.

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed uses this quote from one of his followers – “The 3 C’s of life: You must make a CHOICE to take a CHANCE, or your life will never CHANGE.”  (Sent  by Kathy M)

Certainly, that is good advice. One must stop and think about the direction that life is taking them in and make thoughtful choices about changing that direction by taking a chance on a different direction. Each day, when you wake up you arrive at that inflection point of continuing down the path that you are on or making changes in your direction.

I will submit that there are also three P’s to life which you can also use to control your future – Patience, Perseverance and Prayer.

The first two P’s are often in short supply in today’s fast-paced world of instant gratification; however, events in our lives often unfold at a pace that can be frustratingly slow. Perhaps that’s what makes the third P so important.

As you start each day, if you take time for a little prayer, it will give you the opportunity to ask God for the Patience and Perseverance that are required in life. It may also allow you to recognize that, whatever the small amount of progress that you made yesterday, it was still progress towards your goals. Be thankful for that and ask God’s help to make even more progress today.

I have posted here in the past that one does not have to compose long, windy prayers. God understands your needs, so a little prayer that I like to use, “Not my will, but thy will be done” can work. Even using a sports phrase like, “A little help here” works with God. The important thing is not how you ask but THAT you ask for God’s help. We have been told – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”  (Matthew 7:7)

So, take to heart the advice from Kathy M and implement the three C’s in your life; but also practice the three P’s of life. If you have the courage to take the chance to make the changes that you see need to be made in your life, also have the faith to practice the three P’s.

Have faith in your new direction. God is with you.


Take the time to learn…

March 15, 2022

This quote from the Jack’s Winning Words blog got me to thinking about how we learn from the past.

“How we handle what’s ahead of us will be determined by what we learned from everything that’s behind us.”  (Craig Lounsbrough)

The key word in that quote is “learned”. All of us have some time behind us, some of us more than others; but, did we learn from the things that are in our past. Some are destined to repeat the mistake of their past simply because they did not take the time to try to learn from those mistakes.

Learning is not necessarily an automatic process. There are some things that our brains process without us giving it a lot of thought, like not touching a hot stove because it will burn us. Most things that we should be learning from do require that we stop ad think about what just happened and what we can learn from it.

Some things that we learn from also require that we admit that we were wrong in our decision making process and require us to examine the “knowledge” that we had at the time upon which we based those decisions. That can be an ugly process because t often brings us face-to-face with our prejudices and baseless fears. Learn from that.

If you stop and think about a situation and the answer to your questioning about why you reacted as you did is ”I did not trust that person or I feared that person because their skin is a different color than mine”, then you have come face-to-face with your own prejudices. Learn from that.

Maybe, when you think about something that just happened that went wrong, you will find that you made some bad assumptions or based your decision on inaccurate or untrustworthy data. Learn from that.

The key to learning is always to stop and think about it. Often you will find that your knee-jerk reaction to a situation is not what you would do once you have had time to consider your response. Maybe just learning to take the time to think is the real learning in that.

Maybe it would help if you actually made time each morning to think about the things that happened yesterday or the day before and ask yourself, “What can I learn from that?” Perhaps you should just add to your morning prayers, “God, please help me learn from the past, so that I might be a better person in the future.”

Never stop learning and never stop trying to learn from your own past. That way you will be better prepared for what is ahead today.


Indeed, it is the deed…

February 9, 2022

Although I saw today’s quote recently on-line somewhere, I’m sure that it has been used in the Jack’s Winning Words blog, probably more than once.

 “The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention.” – Anonymous

I have also mentioned here before that one of my mother’s oft used phrases was, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” She would have agreed that the road to hell should probably be called ‘Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Lane”.

Inaction is often the path of least resistance and one too often chosen by many. For most the underlying cause is fear – fear of real or imagined negative or dangerous outcomes or fear of failure if we try. But surrendering to fear steals our lives away and we become zombies (the living dead). Early Twentieth Century reporter and author Dorothy Thompson put it this way – “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”

We should not become content with ourselves if we know that something is wrong and do nothing about it. We do not have to try to single handedly conquer the worlds big problems – hunger, wars, disease, poverty and the like; however, we can act as an individual on any of them by supporting the big efforts that are already underway through organizations like The U.N. or The Red Cross or W.H.O. At a small. Local level there are any number of worthy Go Fund Me drives underway at any time and lots of local volunteer non-profits in need of help. You don’t have to be rich to make an impact locally where your volunteer time is often the most needed resource.

Sometimes it is just acting on your concerns or what you observe that can make a dramatic difference. Think how many recent tragedies might have been averted had someone who noticed a troubled person’s distress had acted to help them or get them help before they acted on their troubled state. Being more aware of your surroundings and the signed that are there as calls for help could make a huge difference in things like domestic violence or human trafficking.

Most people have good intentions, but their comfort zone keeps them on Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Lane instead of taking action to implement those intentions. Keep in mind that the size of the response based upon those intentions is not as important as actually taking the first steps to implement those intentions. Maybe keeping the Nike slogan – Just Do It – in mind will help or maybe remember those little WWJD bracelets from the 1990’s.

From Wikipedia – The phrase “What would Jesus do?”, often abbreviated to WWJD, became popular particularly in the United States in the late 1800s after the widely read book by Charles Sheldon entitled, In His Steps: What Would Jesus Do. The phrase had a resurgence in the US and elsewhere in the 1990s and as a personal motto for adherents of Christianity who used the phrase as a reminder of their belief in a moral imperative to act in a manner that would demonstrate the love of Jesus through the actions of the adherents.

I’m pretty sure that Jesus would not have let himself be trapped on Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda Lane and neither should you let yourself be trapped there either. Even your smallest deed to act on those good intentions is better than wishing later that you had acted.

Indeed, it is the deed. Just do it.


Be a better you…

January 26, 2022

Today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog contained this quote – “Our innermost prayer should be that a Hindu should become a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim and a Christian a better Christian.”  (Attributed to Gandhi)

In essence all are praying to be a better person and that’s a good thing. At their core all religions believe in and worship a supreme entity that rules the world that they know. Christians call that entity God. The other religions have their own names for the supreme being, some even using the word God in their beliefs, too.

Most religions also have written documents that define and codify the beliefs of the followers. All of those documents and books were written by followers, with most of the authors themselves being held in great reverence by the faithful. In most of those religious books that I know of, or have heard of, there are instructions given to the followers about how to be a better person by emulating the characteristics of the supreme being. In other words, there are instructions on how to be a better you.

As a Christian, I am reminded of the little bracelets that were embossed with WWJD.  In the 1990s a youth group leader at Calvary Reformed Church in Holland, Michigan, named Janie Tinklenberg, began a grassroots movement to help the teenagers in her group remember the phrase; it spread worldwide in the 1990s among Christian youth, who wore bracelets bearing the initials WWJD – What Would Jesus Do.

Certainly, holding oneself up to the standard of Jesus is a tall task and likely impossible; however, stopping to think about that phrase before acting in any situation is both worthwhile and beneficial. It can help you be a better you.

In most cases being a better you means doing what is right, just, and honorable. But right, just, and honorable by what standards? That is where one’s religious beliefs come into play. They provide a set of standards by which we can measure ourselves. You should stop to think, “When this is all said and done, will I be proud of how I acted?” Proud by what standard? By the standards that you believe are set by your religious beliefs. If you are a Christian and what you are about to do does not meet the WWJD standard, then you will feel the guilt of failing to meet that standard. That feeling may be enough to deter you from that action (or inaction).

So, take the advice of Gandhi to heart and add to your prayers the request that God help you be a better Christian/Hindu/Muslim/Whatever, a better you. And, if you are a Christian, remember to stop and think WWJD. Be a better you.


First things first…

January 24, 2022

Let’s get the day and the week off to a great start with this quote – “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” (Lucille Ball)

Self-depreciation is alright as a comedy routine. Rodney Dangerfield made a great living off self-depreciation and was very funny doing it. For most that takes the form of humility and that’s OK, if not taken too far.

Start off by saying to yourself, “I know who I am, and I love who I am.” Doubting yourself or trying to be like someone else is a waste of time and self-defeating. Acknowledge yourself as you are and accept that God loves you just as you are. Then, having accepted God’s love for you, love yourself.

walking man

The kind of love for oneself that Lucille Ball was talking about takes the form of self-confidence that bolsters and supports our efforts in life. Even in the face of setbacks, people who love themselves and are confident in themselves will quickly bounce back and forge ahead.

A secondary benefit of loving yourself is that it allows you to love others and for them to return that love. People who love themselves and exude self-confidence also attract followers and supporters who help them achieve what they set out to do. People who are down on themselves seldom travel with an entourage.

So, let’s all start the week off by acknowledging ourselves and loving who we are and where we are and then set out to get things done with confidence.  You’re going to love what happens when you love yourself first.


Help me get through this…

January 8, 2022

A quote that I saved from a post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog serves to illustrate how our faith helps us get through the trials of life.

“God didn’t remove the Red Sea; He parted it.  God doesn’t remove our problems; He makes a way through them.”  (Jack’s Winning Words – Sent by Kathy M)

Quite often we might initially pray for the wrong thing – for God to remove whatever trial or hardship is in front of us. However, as Kathy M pointed out in her quote, that is most often not how God works in our lives. Instead, God gives us the strength to get through whatever it is; or, rather, our faith in God gives us that strength.

Perhaps a better thing to pray for is for God to strengthen our faith so that it strengthens us. In the end, no matter how grave the circumstance may seem, our faith has already assured us that we shall have everlasting life thru Jesus.

 Faith is the bedrock upon which the KCCO phrase is based – Keep Calm and Carry On. Our faith calms us when frenzy might overtake us, and it allows us to move forward and carry on with life. The little prayer that I often use – “Not my will but thy will be done” – has an amazing calming effect in the midst of crisis and immediately opens the door to a better future. It does not resolve anything in and of itself, but it removes the burden of what is at hand and give it to God. It frees you to carry on. Try it the next time that your life is in crisis.

So, what have you got for us, life? Bring it on. We will get through it with God’s help.


Do you know that you don’t know?

January 6, 2022

I believe that these two quotes both came from the Jack’s Winning Words blog, but I know that the last one did because it was from today.

“It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.” (James Thurber)

“The greatest enemy of learning is knowing.”  (John Maxwell)

Both quotes point to the danger and foolishness of thinking that you know it all. In fact, most of us haven’t even scratched the surface of the questions, much less finding the answers.

Many readers may know someone who is a “know-it-all”, the person with all of the answers. Not surprisingly most of what that person “knows” is wrong or based upon bad information, or even worse upon bad assumptions.

Instead of concluding that you know all there is to know about anything, it is better to spend some time asking yourself what questions about the topic remain unanswered. A good place to start when considering any “fact” is where did that fact come from – what is its source. Most of the so-called conspiracy theories have no basis in fact and no real source other than rumors or conjecture. Any argument that starts with “I heard that…” should be immediately challenged by “Heard from who or where?”

But enough about current events and politics, let’s focus more generally upon how one learns and creates their knowledge base. It is upon that base that wisdom is eventually built.

One grows in knowledge by continually questioning. What just happened? Why does something happen?  What causes something to happen? How does that something happening affect me and do I need to do something about it? Is this something new? If not, how can I make sense of it by connecting that something and my understand of it to anything else that I might already know (note: that turns understanding into knowledge)?

All of those questions and the thought processes that go with them are important to increasing your knowledge and wisdom. That is why shutting down those processes by thinking that you already know everything dramatically decreases your learning. Accepting without questioning is the cornerstone of building conspiracy theories.

So, always ask yourself, “what don’t I know about this?” Keeping that question in mind will mean that you keep learning.

Even in the realm of religion there is always room to learn more, as Pastor Freed mentioned in his blog today (follow the link about to read the blog post). Instead of trying to know all about God, start by knowing God through Jesus.

Now, what are your questions? Refer to your textbook (the Bible) for the answers.

Keep learning because now you know that you don’t know.


Hope supplies the light…

January 5, 2022

I’ve has these two quotes in my saved file for a while and they just seem to go together –

“However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.” (Stanley Kubrick)

“Hope is the feeling we have that the feeling we have is not permanent”.  (Mignon McLaughlin)

Kubrick’s quote points out that we must find our own way our of the darkness of sorrow or anger or despair – the things that plunge us into darkness.

I wrote a few years back about four candles – Peace, Love, Faith and Hope – and how one by one they were extinguished until only the candle of Hope remained burning (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2014/01/27/where-there-is-hope-there-can-never-be-complete-darkness-2/).

Our lives can seem like the candles sometimes, especially when jarring events snuff out the candle of Peace or the unexpected loss of a loved one causes the candle of Love to flicker out. Sometimes it is all too easy to allow events to overcome us and so we lose sight of the candle of our Faith. In those times all we have is the candle of Hope to show us the way our of the darkness.

If we can get to the point that McLaughlin mentioned, where we realize that the darkness we are in is not permanent by holding out hope for a better tomorrow, we can start to reignite the other candles in our lives.

Recent events in the U.S. and around the world have provided vivid images of people who have lost everything or endured unimaginable hardships and yet still cling to hope. Out of that hope many have expressed their faith that things will get better, and that life will go on. Most often they express gratitude that they still have their loved ones and state that they will rebuild their lives and their homes. They know that the feelings of loss and despair that they may have at that moment will not last.

You do not have to suffer a disaster to be plunged into a dark place. For some, mental illness takes them to those places often. No matter how you got there, the candle of Hope is the way out. Keep Hope burning in your life and let its light show you the way out of the darkness. Peer into the darkness with the light of Hope and you will see God standing there with the candle of Faith ready to be reignited.

Faith is most often the first candle to be relit by Hope. Hope illuminates God as our guide out of our funk and allows us to ask God for His help.

Once you have the candle of Faith burning in your life again it becomes possible to relight the candle of Love and to once again allow the candle of Peace to guide your way through life.

Hold on to Hope…it supplies the light in the darkness.


Take a new look thru the lens of faith…

December 31, 2021

A couple of quotes that I’ve had laying around for some time just seemed to go together this morning to make a point.

“If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror.” (Shane Koyczan)

“Success is personal, so stop comparing your apples to their oranges.”  (Yohance Salimu) 

Many people have a hard time appreciating themselves. They tend only to see their faults or failures when they look at their life in their mental mirror. They also only see other people’s oranges of success and fail to see their own apples of success. A good deal of that lack of self-appreciation is based upon our tendencies to compare ourselves to others or to envy what we see as the success of others when compared to our own lives.

Many times this tendency starts in childhood when a parent or adult may say something like , “Why can’t you be more like (insert brother or sister or any other person here)?” We pick up on the fact that others may be comparing us, or our successes, to others as children and we let that become an internal measure also, Our view in the mirror becomes distorted.

Men, in particular, seem to adopt a competitive comparison model as a measuring stick for their lives, constantly evaluating where they are in life compared to others and perhaps not liking what they see in the mirror when they make those evaluations. What changes as they grow up are the yardsticks by which they measure their successes and position in life – money, power, position and possessions. That is a game in which one can never really win or be satisfied.

The society that we live in feeds this competitive battel by constantly barraging us with products commercials that claim to make you better than you are now, if only you buy and use their products. After all they claim, one is never as beautiful or successful enough, when compared to whatever model or spokesperson that they are using.

Both of the quotes above recommend changing the way you look at things. They both point to appreciating yourself as you are and where you are in life as the key to happiness. Perhaps you can start appreciating yourself by accepting the fact that God loves you just the way you are and where you are in life. God sees your beauty, even if you can’t, and He accepts your life as is. In fact, he has already forgiven you for any mistakes that you have made and opened the door for you to forgive yourself.

A focus on faith also frees you to put things in your life in better perspective. It allows you to celebrate your wins in life and not worry about comparing them to the wins of others. So, get a new lens of faith and see the beauty that God sees in you. Once you start seeing your successes in life through a faith lens, the successes of others become something that you can celebrate with them rather than being envious of them.

Now you have a better view in life’s mirror.


Right headline…wrong picture…

December 20, 2021

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that we do away with the image of Santa for Christmas, just that we move it into the background and put more emphasis on the real reason for the season.

We have allowed almost everything else about the Christian religion to be pushed out of our lives and to be replaced with secular things. Christmas itself has become more about decorations and presents and Santa than about the birth of Christ over 2,000 years ago that changed the world.

So use the headline, just change the picture in your mind. Let us never forget that and never stop believing.