Live the prayer…

September 3, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent August 27, 2020.

Picture of Jack Freed

“The older I get the less I listen to what people say and the more I look at what they do.” (Andrew Carnegie) Yesterday I heard that a neighbor said of me, “Jack’s been around here since Jesus was an altar boy.” Now, that’s old…old enough to comment that what people do is more important than what they say. Long-ago-Detroit-poet, Edgar Guest wrote: “I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day.” Let’s learn to respect each other not for our words, but for the honesty of our actions. 😉  Jack

Another old saw is “Do as I say, not as I do”, which our children usually ignore as they emulate and imitate what they see us doing, not what we are telling them to do. As Edgar Guest said, we must live the sermon, not just speak it or listen to it. One may also say, “you must live the prayer”, not just say it.

Almost every night I say a little prayer asking the Lord to help me be a better person tomorrow than I was today. I pray to be more sympathetic and empathetic, more kind and understanding, more patient, less judgmental and more willing to jump in and help someone, rather than stand back or avoiding them. I must repeat the prayer every night because most days I do not get too far into the day before old habits or prejudices once again throw me off my desired course.

So, I look back each evening and try to understand what I did as opposed to what a said I was going to do. I have a lot more praying to do. How about you?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where’s that man gone?

July 29, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent August 3, 2018. Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

Mark Twain

“Never lie to someone who trusts you and never trust someone who lies to you.” (Mark Twain) I read that 60% of people will lie at least once during a 10-minute conversation – little white lies, mostly. Whatever…truth is taking a beating these days. We used to believe: “A man’s as good as his word.” Where’s that man gone? If we’re to have a culture of believability, it has to start with us. Lying, as a norm, is unacceptable. We can do better than that. 😉  Jack

 We have lots of new terms to cover lying, especially in the current political environment – misinformation…disinformation…fake news…and more. Twain would have simplified them all as lies. Although often attributed to Arthur Schopenhauer, Twain is also credited with saying, “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” We have certainly witnessed a lot of the ridicule and violent opposition stages in recent years.

I think the key takeaway from Jack’s post is that if we want the culture to change it has to start with us. We can and should be doing better in our own day-to-day loves by embracing and living in an honest and ruthful way. We must be honest not only with others but with ourselves, too. There are no “little white lies”, there are just lies, especially when we are lying to ourselves.

The lies that we tell ourselves are especially insidious because they encourage us to lie to others about things such as how we feel or what we believe. Many times, the lies that we tell ourselves are really just excuses – excuses for failures, excuses for things that we have done and for things that we have left undone.

In the prayers of confession that start our church service each week we pray for forgiveness for things that we ‘ve done and things that we’ve left undone. Perhaps we also need t forgive ourselves in order to move on with life. I wrote about forgiving yourself back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/10/08/forgive-yourselffree-yourselfmove-on/

So, stop lying to yourself and to others. Forgive yourself for things that are in your past and move on. You will have no need for lies. The creation of a culture of believability starts with you. Jack asked where has that man gone? Answer by saying, “He is here, I am him”. We can do netter than that and it starts with us.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Start all over again…

July 7, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent July 12, 2013. Reposts of the advice posts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

“There are two disappointments in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it.” (Oscar Wilde) Disappointments? We all have them. A job loss, a broken relationship, a health issue… I like the advice in this old song, “When my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again.” Life is a series of learning experiences, and there comes a time when we just have to move on. 😉 Jack

 It is interesting that Jack, like most of us I suspect, focused upon the disappointment of not getting what we want, not achieving a goal or winning at a pursuit. But, what about the disappointment of actually winning, of achieving what we have been striving for? How can that be disappointing? Start all over again…

After the initial feeling of euphoria or accomplishment following the achievement of a goal or getting wat we’ve been striving for so long, there comes the letdown (disappointment) of no longer having that goal to motivate us. Many athletes experience this once that have achieved their goals as competitors. What do you do after you’ve become the best in the world at your event or become the star of a professional team in your sport?  Start all over again…

It may be hard for us to imagine, but the accumulation of yet another million dollars to a person like Elon Musk, or Warren Buffet or Bill Gates brings very little satisfaction, if any. Star athletes also have a hard time sometimes moving on after achieving the athletic levels that they trained for all their lives. We are fascinated by how people react to having achieved the goals that were driving them. Start all over again…

We occasionally see the sad stories of people whom we thought “had it all and threw it away”. Some turned to alcohol or drugs when they no longer had the motivation of striving towards their goal. We have also witnessed people like Bill Gates refocusing their lives on bigger, more altruistic goals of philanthropy, like ending world hunger or maybe eradicating a terrible disease. Start all over again…

How we react to winning and achieving our goals in life is as important (if not more so) than how we react to failures. As with failure, in success we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start all over again. We must move on to establish new goals. Start all over again…

I think that refocusing from achieving specific and tangible goals, such as having so many dollars in the bank or achieving a specific record in some event onto the less tangible goal of just being happy is a great start. That might involve being happier with what you already have than being unhappy about things that you don’t have. Start all over again…

If you become more focused upon and cognizant of things that make you happy you will soon see that money, possessions and power over others has little to do with your own happiness. I think that you will realize that you are happiest when you have helped to bring happiness to others, when you have made a positive difference in someone else’s life. Start all over again…

Maybe you should start each day with a little prayer, not asking for more things for yourself, but by being thankful for what you already have and by asking God for the ability and opportunities to help others. At the end of the day, if you can look back and see the times when you helped someone, it was a good day and I’ll bet that you are happy about it. Start all over again…

The good news is that you may get another chance tomorrow to start all over again.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The skill of being kind…

June 23, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Sept 17, 2018. Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed.

“If you have to choose between being kind and being right, choose being kind, and you will always be right.” (Sent by Tara Kane) My friend Tara teaches more than public safety to college students. She explains to them (as illustrated in her quote) the importance of knowing how to get along with people. Whether it be a police officer, a fire fighter, or an ordinary citizen, knowing how to be kind to others is an important skill. Keep your eyes open today to “see” kindness….and let others see yours. 😉  Jack

 It is interesting to read that Jack called being kind an important skill that one needs to develop. Being kind is not an emotion caused by something (someone) or even a reaction to something happening. You don’t get kind, like you might get happy or sad and you don’t become kind like you might become afraid. Kindness is an action word; you have to be kind. It requires you to act (or react) in a certain way. Being kind requires a conscious effort or response on your part. That means you have to think about it, whether you realize it or not. Develop the skill of kindness.

I think being kind is based upon making the conscious decision that you wish to be kind in all that you do. That may not be obvious to you, but there are certainly people that you will encounter who have not made that decision. They are sometimes thought of as being cruel. I may call them jerks (sorry, that wasn’t very kind), but I’m sure you have your own name for them. These are the people who cut you off in traffic, who make negative remarks about people or who may call others who are in need losers. They are not being kind. Develop the skill of kindness.

So, how does one develop the skill of being kind? It starts by being more aware of the fact that you are reacting to and making decisions about how to act on everything that is happening to you and around you. You must develop the ability to stop and think, if only for a moment, before you act or react. You must ask yourself the question, what is the right thing, the kind thing to do in this situation? Just that split-second pause will allow you to regain some control over what might have been a knee-jerk reaction. In the next split-second your brain will be able to evaluate the situation and decide between the right and wrong response – the kind response. Develop the skill of kindness.

If you have made the conscious decision to be kind, the actual decision to do so will be easier in any situation, and you will do the right thing. Sometimes that is just catching yourself before you do the wrong thing, making matters worse. Sometimes being kind means doing nothing at all. Even then, being kind means doing so with a smile or a friendly gesture. Putting that smile on your face will make you feel better and may even make others feel better, too. Perhaps adding a line to your daily prayers – Lord help me to be a kinder person today than I was yesterday – would help reinforce kindness for you. Develop the skill of kindness.

Jack advised us to keep our eyes open for acts of kindness by others and let others see your kindness. You can learn new ways to be kind by observing others. Others will see your acts of kindness once you stop just having  kind thoughts and start doing kind deeds. Work on being more cognizant of the opportunities to be kind that you may encounter during the day and then act with kindness on those opportunities. Develop the skill of kindness.

Have a great and kindness filled day… Develop the skill of kindness.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where will you find inspiration?

June 21, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally posted 1/15/21- Reprints of posts to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed

“You can look anywhere and find inspiration.”  (Frank Gehry)  Vanity Fair named Gehry the most important architect of our time.  His quote today became a challenge for me to look around…  What can give me inspiration?.  My hand?  Max Lucado’s book, Wonderful?  How about the waste basket?  I decided on the keyboard’s delete key.  What if there were a delete key for life mistakes?  When it comes to our “sins” God has a delete key on His laptop, too.  😉  Jack

As you have probably noticed if you have read this blog for any time, I used to find much of my inspiration for posts to this blog by reading the daily blog posts that I got from the late Pastor Jack Freed. I would usually expand on the topic from the 2-3 sentences that Jack used in his posts. When Jack passed, I was at a loss for inspiration for a while and my posts to my own blog waned. Then his son started reposting some of his best posts and I again found inspiration in those reposts. I also remembered that I had saved most of the emails that Jack sent with his daily posts in them, like the post above. Where will you find inspiration?

I like Jack’s analogy about the keyboard’s Delete key. Many apps also have an “Undo” feature that backs things up in the workflow to a point before the present and lets you try again. That would certainly be helpful in life, wouldn’t it? However, life doesn’t give us “do overs”. Instead, the best that we can do is to let go of the past and move on.  Sometimes what we need is a little inspiration to get us started again. Where will you find inspiration?

Inspiration doesn’t have to be writing blog posts. You may be inspired to do some work around the house or maybe to do some volunteer work. It could be that you are inspired to go visit somebody or maybe call them. It doesn’t matter what it is; inspiration is that little push that you need to get you started towards some goal. Where will you find inspiration?

Ideas, dreams or desires often turn into inspiration once you get past the inertia of doing nothing about them. Guilt about something that you did or remorse about something that you didn’t do can also inspirate some action to correct things. Many laws have been passed and charity foundations created out of work that was inspired by a loss or tragedy. Some find inspiration in prayer. I like the little prayer I saw recently – “Lord help me to be a better person today than I was yesterday.” Everyone should be inspired by that. Where will you find inspiration?

Look for it and you will find it. Where will you find inspiration?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Focus on the goodness…

June 16, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent June 16, 2009.

“Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.” (Regina Brett) Brett’s quote is a reminder that expecting perfect equity often leads to frustration. But when we separate the idea of “fairness” from “goodness”, we recognize that even when we’re dealt an unfair hand, there are still positive experiences, growth and beauty in this world. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight for justice, but we can’t let it block out the goodness in life. Have a good day! 😉 Jack

Life seems to have lots of loud things, often bad things, that vie for our attention and quite often drown out the good things. Bad things can be like flash-bang grenades. They go off in our faces, command our attention and sometimes they blind us to the good that is still there. They are the “Hey, hey look at me” things that distract us and which can consume us if we let them. People who experience depression get stuck focusing upon the bad things and can’t see a way out. It’s like being in a long dark tunnel. Yet there is always a little light at the end of the tunnel. That light is Hope. Focus on the goodness.

I wrote about the light of hope for depression back in 2022 – see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2022/01/05/hope-supplies-the-light/ so I won’t repeat myself here. This post is not about depression; it is about focusing upon the goodness of life in your everyday life. That is a great way to balance out all the bad noise that can seem to be all around. Focus on the goodness.

The good news is that the goodness of life is all around us, too. Goodness is usually not as loud and there are few bringing it to our attention. A few of the broadcast news shows now have a segment at the end that takes the time to highlight stories of goodness. These are usually stories of people helping other people or maybe about people overcoming great difficulties and ending up happy. They are feel good stories that are intended to do just that for the viewers – make them feel good. Focus on the goodness.

When you aren’t watching the news you can find the goodness that is around you by looking for it. It may be as simple as observing the goodness of the innocent play, laughter, and happiness of children. Perhaps you will recognize the goodness of someone opening a door for you or feel good when you hold a door open for someone else. Maybe something good will happen to you unexpectedly or perhaps after something bad has happened you stop to realize that you are OK…and that all is good. Focus on the goodness.

The key to seeing and appreciating the goodness around you is your frame of mind. A good way to start is to stop right after you wake up each day and say a little prayer thanking God for another day. At the end of that prayer, ask God to help you focus on the good in life rather than the bad things. Those bad things will still be there, but you won’t be focusing upon them. Try it. You’ll like it. You’ll be surprised how different life looks to you and how much better you feel about life when you stay focused upon the goodness around you.  Focus on the goodness.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Believe in yourself…

June 15, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent 5/16/19 – Reprints from pasts to his blog by the late Rev. Jack Freed.

“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch, but on her own wings.  Always believe in yourself.”  (Unknown)  In the Bible Paul wrote to some friends of his…”I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”  As I look back on my life, I see times when God has entered life events and given me a kind of power to persevere.  As the bird trusts in its wings, I trust in God’s omnipresence.   😉  Jack

Unspoken in the quote about the bird and its ability to fly is that the ability to fly is a God given ability. So, too, is the ability to believe in yourself when the going gets tough and to persevere through adversity. There are many places in the bible that talk about God helping people, but nowhere does it say that he did it himself; rather it always talks about God giving the believer the strength, the courage and the self-belief to do it themselves. Believe in yourself.

Fear is the root cause of self-doubt and the major thing that holds us back from doing the things that we want to do. It may be fear of failure or fear of looking foolish or some other fear, but the bedrock upon which all fear is based is the fear of death. That is why a strong belief in God and the acceptance of God in your life can help you overcome those other fears. Acceptance of God through Jesus means that you accept that you will have eternal life beyond your physical death. You need not fear death and after that not fearing other things becomes easier. Believe in yourself.

Believing in yourself does not mean displaying bravado. Indeed, many people who display bravado do so as much to try to convince themselves as to convince others of their bravery. The term foolhardy often follows closely behind such displays. Believing in yourself will give you a quiet sense of confidence with which to proceed, no matter what the outcome. That belief allows you to try and it also encompasses the ability to deal with the adversity of a failure (when the branch breaks out from under you) and learn from it. Believe in yourself.

If you watch much sports on TV you will often see elite athletes who have just accomplished something (winning a race, scoring a goal or making a touchdown) pointing to heaven and thanking God. They also mention God in interviews after the event, often saying that God gave them the ability to do what they did. They may also say that they believed they could do it and that was the key for them. Believe in yourself.

Believing in yourself my sound like it is self-centered and egotistical and it would be if it were not centered around your belief in God. Romans 8:31 says “If God is with us, who can stand against us?”  So, in reality when you say that you believe in yourself you are saying I believe in God. Just do it. Believe in yourself.

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Posted by Norm Werner

The key that only you can hold…

June 11, 2025

Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent Nov 12, 2015 – Reposts from the blog of the late Pastor Jack Freed

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” (Sent by MBO) When John Lennon was 5-yrs-old the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. When he answered, “Happy!” he was told he didn’t understand the assignment….but I think he did. The pursuit of happiness creates a life well lived, as long as that pursuit includes the happiness of others. 😉  Jack

It seems like too many people surrender the key to their happiness to the wishes of someone else. Perhaps it is locking themselves into a career that their parents wanted for them and not what they truly wanted to do. Maybe it is becoming involved in a relationship (maybe even a marriage) with someone who constantly wants to manipulate you into doing what they want.  It could be that you think that you must always get approval or praise from someone else in order to be happy. Whatever the reason, you have put the key to your own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Happiness is also one of those terms that seem to have different definitions for different people. Some people spend more time being concerned about being unhappy than thinking about what would make them happy. I think many (if not most) people would have a hard time putting into words what would make them happy. That makes it all the harder to pursue happiness.

So, maybe the key to happiness is to get a better understanding of what happiness is for you and then think about what you have to do to get from where you are to that place of happiness. Once you get that understanding you can begin the pursuit of that happiness. For many people that pursuit of happiness is actually what makes them happy. Whatever applies to you just keep that key to happiness in your own pocket.

I think that one prerequisite to finding happiness is to let go of your day to day worries about things that you can’t control anyway. I have opined here a few times about the little prayer that I use – “Not my will, but Thy will be done” – to let go of those things. Prayer may also help you clarify for yourself what would really make you happy and can help you take back the key to your happiness from wherever it has been. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to find your happiness.

Some people are exuberate and loud in their happiness while others may express their happiness with a quiet smile and perhaps a sigh. What about you? Do you ever think about what would make you happy? Do you know what would make you happy?  Are you pursuing your happiness or have you given the key to that happiness to someone else? Maybe it’s time to take back that key and spend some time pursuing that which would make you happy. What would make you happy? Pray about it and grab that key.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Find healing in your memories…

May 27, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 25, 2009.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” (Seen on a headstone in Ireland) This is a good one to think about while Memorial Day is still fresh in our minds. We all have our memories that can never be taken away from us, don’t we? 😉 Jack

The sharp pain of the loss of a loved one may fade into a constant ache but it never completely goes away. What slowly replaces it is the warmth of our fond memories of that person. The tears of the loss are replaced by the smiles of the memories. It is in those memories and the memories of others who knew them that the departed live on.

Our memories of loved ones help us build a wall to keep out the pain while creating a calming and pleasant garden containing the love that we had for them. Start building that wall by spending time remembering the good times that you had together, the great adventures that you shared or the moments of triumph that you experienced together. Rethink about those times over several days and the wall will build. You will have pleasant and fond memories of them instead of the pain of their loss. That is what you want to keep in your heart.

Many times, the key to creating or unlocking that garden is prayer. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to allow you to remember the good and to shove any bad memories to the other side of the wall. Prayer allows the loved that you had for that person to overcome the grief of their loss. Prayer reinforces the hope and belief that you will be together again for eternity.

If you do this for all of the loved ones that are no longer here, you will find that quiet times that once might have been filled with sadness or loneliness are now spent in a garden filled with fond memories of pleasant times. No one can steal that away from you. It’s your garden that you build out of your loving memories.  Go there to remember and heal.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you proud of who you are…

May 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 5, 2022.

“I’m proud of who I am.” (Rico Nasty) Today is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo, which translates as May the 5th. Surprisingly, it’s a bigger holiday in the USA than in Mexico. It’s a day when people of Mexican heritage show their pride in their roots, and remember that on May 5, 1862 the Mexican army defeated France in a battle for independence. Many of us are proud of our heritage. The Ukrainians come to mind. In spite of current divisions in our country, I’m still singing, “I’m proud to be an American.” How about you? 😉  Jack

 OK, so I’m a day late with this post. I had to think a while about what to write on the theme that Jack used in his post. I’m pretty sure that Jack would still say the same thing about being proud to be an American, even as he may have disagreed with most of the things that the current administration is doing. Are you proud of who you are?

The more important message in Rico Nasty’s quote if to be proud of who you are. Proud of the person you’ve become and the values and morals that you hold too. That pride can be based upon the honesty with which you conduct yourself. You can easily tell if that is true at the end of each day if you have conducted yourself in such a manner that you end the day without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Are you proud of who you are?

We use a prayer at my church asking for forgiveness for “things which you have do and things left undone”. I most often find that last part to be the toughest and in need of the most forgiveness. Many of us leave things undone that we know we should do – help that we do not render when presented with the chance or maybe forgiveness not extended to someone who has wronged us.  Are you proud of who you are?

In today’s political environment what comes to mind immediately are the words of Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.” There are many ways to express your disagreement with things that are happening. I have Dr. King’s quote on a lawn sign that I display at times like this. It’s not marching in protest, but it is something and it gives me a small feeling of pride at the end of the day. Are you proud of who you are?

Yesterday I saw a little Zen message in a word game that I play on my phone – “Be happy with what you have, not envious of what others have.” I think that ability to be happy with your life and what you have or have accomplished and not envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others is a key to being proud of who you are. Many just don’t spend enough time being thankful for and taking pride in what they have and what they done – perhaps a successful marriage, maybe raising great children, or being happy and successful with your work.  Are you proud of who you are?

In the end, it will all come down to that moment of judgement between you and God and it will be God asking that question about your life – Are you proud of who you were?  The good news is that if you are reading this post, you still have time to make changes in your life so that you can answer that question with a smile. Until that time at the end of each day, look back and ask yourself – Are you proud of who you are?

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Posted by Norm Werner

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