Certainly no worse and probably better…

August 22, 2020

In a recent post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Freed used this quote –“Whether women are better than men I cannot say … but i can say they are certainly no worse.”  (Golda Meir)

Younger people may not even know who Golda Meir was and many likely are unaware that there have been several female heads of government in the past. Click here to read about 7 women who were elected to the highest offices in their countries – going back to the 1930’s. there were also some who were appointed  when their elected husbands died in office.

We celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Constitutional Amendment that gave women the right to vote in America this year. It is fitting that they will have the opportunity to vote for a woman to be Vice-President.

There has been much written about the differences between men and women when it comes to their style of leadership in government positions of leadership; but , in my mind, most of it boils down to the influence of empathy. Women seem to have a greater ability to recognize and empathize with the needs of the people. It may boil down to a difference between the influences of hubris and humility and the role of me vs. we in decision making. I wrote about becoming more “we-oriented” in a post a week or so ago – See Turn your m upside down to turn your life around. Maybe I was writing about being able to get in touch with one’s feminine side.

We had the opportunity in the last Presidential election to choose a woman as President, but that didn’t work out (even though she won the majority of the votes across America). We will have the opportunity again in the future. In the meantime, we can elevate a women to the second highest office in the land. It will be interesting to see what she does in that position. I suspect that we will see a much more visible Vice-President with a much more important role in the daily governing of the country.  

So, in addition to finally seeing the introduction of a vaccine against the Corona Virus by early next year, we can look forward to seeing a new era in our Federal government, with a woman in a position of leadership. Will she be better than men have been in that role? As Golda said, she certainly will be no worse and I suspect we will be happy and proud to have her in that role. Get out and vote!

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Posted by Norm Werner

One needn’t be blissfully ignorant

August 21, 2020

In today’s installment of the comic strip Pearls Before Swine the character Pig, when asked why he is so happy, replies, “I have chosen to become woefully uninformed.”

It is tempting to be like Pig and ignore the news that swirls all around us like a California wildfire. Yet one does not have to become uninformed or blissfully ignorant in order to be happy. In fact, I suspect that becoming woefully uninformed might leave one in an anxious state of concern about the unknown, sort of like a camper sitting around the fire listening to the sounds all around in the darkness and wondering about what (or who) is making them. Ignorance is not a state of comfort or bliss.

It is also not possible for one to know what is going on around them and yet not react to those things in any way. One must not be oblivious, but rather be mindful of those things and chose to react in a calm and reasoned way. The calm part of that response is important, because it allows and facilitates the reasoned response part. People who react to events in panic seldom make wise decisions and usually end up making things worse for themselves ands others.

But, how does one make calm, rational decisions?

I have opined here before about the need to make wise decisions and the usefulness of asking God for help in that process. I think I recommended adding a line to your prayers asking God to “help me make good decisions today”. Perhaps I should have added the phrase “help me to remain calm and” to the front end of that little prayer. Being calm equates to being at peace with yourself and your relationship to God. I know that I have related here the little phrase that local pastor Doug McMunn from the Milford United Methodist Church uses all the time – “be at peace”.  Jesus used the phrase “Peace be with you” (John 20:19) when he met with his disciples after his resurrection. Earlier in John 14:27 He said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

Perhaps then, we should pray to first experience the peace that our belief in Jesus gives us and then tackle the issues that we face, untroubled and unafraid. One need not be blissfully ignorant about what is going on in the world, but one can be blissfully confident about their ability to get through the troubles and tests with God’s help. So, when you see and hear the news or face a problem in your life, stop to reconnect with God and be at peace, then you will be prepared to deal with those things.

Being at peace before taking action also negates the kneejerk reaction of taking revenge or getting even for something that make have just happen to you – perhaps a social slight or hurtful remark by someone. Being at peace with God and yourself allows you to instead focus your concern on the reason for that action or remark- the pain or misunderstanding that motivated it from the other person. It allows you to reply in concerned love not in hate.  

So, start your day by being at peace with God and yourself through prayer. You do not have to become blissfully uninformed to be happy, but you do need to “be at peace”.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What you can take with you…

August 20, 2020

Today’s post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote from Denzel Washington – “You never see a U-Haul behind a hearse.” 

It certainly reinforces the truth that one can’t take possessions with them when they die. Even the world’s richest man will be penniless when he stands before St Peter at the pearly gates or before God on his judgement day.

But, there is something that you do take with you to the grave and it doesn’t require a trailer to carry. That something is your reputation – the memories and thoughts that you leave behind with those still on earth – the impressions that you made. That reputation – the record of how you lived your life – is what St. Peter really looks at when deciding if you get through the gates and into heaven. What will your reputation say about you?

Strip away all of the business accomplishments and successes, all of the sports or academic accomplishments, all of the accumulated and prized possessions and what you have left is what was important all along – the impact that your life had on the lives of others.

Was yours a life of striving for accomplishments and reward or one of impacting other people in a positive and supportive  way. Did you receive positional respect or deference out of fear or earn the respect and love of those that you served or helped? Will the obituary in people’s minds when they hear you have passed be “so what” or maybe “good riddance” or will it be one  of fond memories and statements that “he/she will be missed”? Are you consciously striving towards goals of material success or perhaps unconsciously building a reputation as a caring and loving spouse, parent and friend?

There is no reason that one cannot be conscious of the impact that they are having on those with whom they interact. In fact, it is a good idea to put some  thought into that impact before acting.

Maybe as you start your day with as little prayer you can ask for God’s help to be more compassionate, inclusive and unbiased during the day. Ask God to help you be more aware of the needs of others and more willing to act on those needs in your actions and reactions during the day. The simple act of listening can be a powerful starting point. Taking the time to listen to others helps you be aware of he needs all around you. Taking the next step and acting to help with those needs makes a positive impression of being concerned, caring and compassionate. In addition to the Great Commandment to love one another, we were admonished in the Bible – “And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.”  (Ephesians 4:32)

The impressions that you leave behind with the people who lives you touch is the only thing that follows you to the grave. Amassing a consistent collection of those good impressions builds a reputation.  What will be the reputation that you take with you? Will you need a U-Haul to carry all of the good impressions that people had of you? After all that is all that you can take with you.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t talk about it, live it…

August 19, 2020

I save quotes from the Jack’s Winning Words blog and quite often find that 2 or more seem to go together. Today is one of those time when a quote used by Pastor Freed today seems to go well with an earlier quote.

Today he used this quote –

“If you live your religion you will become different.”  (Dom Helder Camara)

And, I had this one saved from an earlier post –

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”  (Steve Martin)

We often see people in the news self-righteously proclaiming their religious beliefs while committing what amounts to crimes or we find out later that the supposedly pious church leader was in fact a pedophile. They were talking about religion, but not living it.

Jesus teaches the Pharisees

I’m not sure that I even like using the word religion in today’s quote, better to use faith or beliefs. The word religion carries with it too much of the baggage of dogma and fabricated doctrine with it. One of the groups that Jesus often took to task in his teaching were the Pharisees and scribes of his day (see Luke 11:37–11:54, Matthew 23:1–23:39 and Mark 12:35–12:40). Those religious posers had allowed their own egos to get in the way of their faith and preferred to talk about their religion, rather than live it.

Living one’s faith does not involve standing on street corners spouting Bible verses or yelling that the world is condemned by its sins. That is not the difference that Helder-Camara was referencing.  The differences are in what you do and how you do those thing, rather than what you say or how you call attention to yourself. The difference is found in acts of kindness and concern for the well-being of others.  The difference is in the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment that one gets from volunteering to help others, not in any news coverage of that event. The difference is not in calling attention to one’s self and accomplishments but rather in seeing the joy that you bring to others through your actions. You become different when you make a difference in the lives of others.

So, rather than telling someone that you will pray for them, so that they can see how religious yo are, actually do something to help them. Don’t just talk about your faith, put it into action. Volunteer  to help at your local food bank. Work in the background packing food for Meal on Wheels. Make phone calls to shut-ins to see if they are OK. Offer to mow the lawn of that elderly neighbor who can no longer do it himself or herself. It is the sweat from your actions that truly demonstrates your faith, not you words. You will become a different person, a happier person and a person whom others hold up as an example of how to live your faith.

To paraphrase the Nike slogan. Just live it!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Have you made up your mind about today?

August 18, 2020

Pastor Freed had an interesting quote today in his blog , Jack’s Winning Words – “I’ve made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life.  I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I’ve never emerged.”  (Patch Adams) 

Freed wrote that Patch is both a physician and a clown who provides care and relief to children and adults in hospitals around the world. His story was made into a movie in 1998 staring Robin William as Adams. I have this vision in my head of a clown coming into the hospital room wearing his stethoscope. Of the two services that he provides, the relief from the anxiety that his clown persona provides may be the more important to many.

The quote from Dr. Patch not only capsulizes his philosophy for life, but also poses a challenge for all of us. We must each day make up our minds what kind of day we are going to have. Perhaps the key is to be found in the “endless sea of gratitude” that Adams references.

Rather than just jumping into each day, perhaps in anticipation or dread of some event that might happen that day or with a sense of the mindless drudgery ahead, what if we took the time to express our gratitude to God that He has given us another day. What if we asked God for His help to make this a great day? What if we started out each day on that positive note? Would we ever have another bad day? If we make up our minds and start with a prayer for God’s help, I suspect that we can be like Patch and never have another bad day.

The key is having that attitude of gratitude as you face the day. That attitude leads you to other thoughts – How can I do more? How can I do better? Who can I help with their day? You will stop thinking of yourself as the “victim” when problems arise during the day and start, instead, seeing yourself as part of the solution. You can think to yourself, “Well, God knew that this was going to happen, so he must have also equipped me to deal with it.” You know that because we have been told in the Bible – God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Have you made up your mind about today? Are you starting out today with a sense of gratitude and confidence that God will be with you throughout the day? All it takes is a moment of prayer before you head out.  Let us pray.

Now get out there and be part of the solution!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t quit now.

August 17, 2020

I’ve opined here before about the American public’s lack of patience and persistence as afar as the steps needed to defeat the Corona Virus are concerned. Today’s quote in the Jack’s Winning Words blog just reinforces that thought – “There’s no such thing as failure, there’s just giving up too soon.”  (Jonas Salk)

Jack wrote that it took Salk 2 ½ years to develop the vaccine for polio. These days we are starting to hear about a vaccine for COVIUD-19 possibly becoming available in less than a year.

As Jack pointed out in his post, one of the hallmarks of successful people is that they don’t give up. Almost every successful person has spoken about the setbacks and trials that they had to overcome in order to reach their success. There’s a reason that you don’t see stories about those who gave up – they weren’t successful.

Almost nightly we see stories on the newscasts about outbreaks of the virus being caused by people ignoring the guidelines and doing stupid things, like going to large parties or gathering in groups on the beach. Certainly, stupidity comes into play, but the root cause was giving up. They just got tired of doing what is necessary and gave up on mask wearing and social distancing.  

All of the healthcare experts caution that it is too early to stop those precautions. In fact many ae now calling for a nationwide mandate on mask wearing – a call that sets off the “it’s my right not to wear a mask” cretins. They make up a sort of “Right to Die” fringe group; which is ironic, since many are also “Right to Life” zealots. Some even claim that God gave them the right not to wear a mask. Many have tried to point out to these people that wearing a mask is not so much to protect them as it is a way that they can show concern for others, since it prevents the viruses that they may have from spreading to others. Their reply is most often F#@% Them.

So, as we see and hear the nightly news casts about the failure in America to contain the virus, just remember that is was not that we failed; it was that too many gave up too soon or that too many just don’t care enough about anyone but themselves to make any sacrifices for the common good. Of course, if you mention he “common good” they go off on rants about Socialism, so be careful with the use of that term. Their rants often include yelling, which spreads the virus even further.

For the majority of us, who do care about the health and well-being of others, there is still social distancing and I’d recommend distancing yourself from those who refuse to take even the simplest of precautions. Perhaps you should consider adding them to your prayers, since they obviously need God’s help.

So, don’t give up now – Mask up America!

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Posted by Norm Werner

So, think already…

August 13, 2020

Today’s installment of the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote from Dr. Seuss –“Think left and think right and think low and think high.  Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.” 

God gave mankind a brain to do things other than just space our ears apart. It is supposed to be used before acting or speaking. Yet we constantly hear from people who have just done or said something stupid, “I didn’t think.” Entire entertainment shows, like Jackass and America’s Funniest Videos are based upon people doing things without giving it the necessary thought before they act. Much of what we find offensive in the words of others is probably caused by them not thinking before they spoke. Many times we would like to believe that they are not that insensitive or ignorant and that what they said doesn’t represent what they really think. If it does, then we should think about not associating with them.

People who blurt out some knee-jerk racial remark in response to news stories of a black live matter rally or maybe a story concerning some LBGTQ couple are allowing their pre-conceptions to take over the role that their brain should have. Their “thought process” usually starts with “All those (place whatever group is being denigrated here) are the same and that means, or justifies why, I don’t like them or fear them. They have left their brains in park and driven off to a conclusion riding on their prejudices.

Dr. Seuss was trying to point out what how much more interesting our lives could be if we just used our brains to think. Just think how many interesting people you might meet, if only you thought instead of letting your prejudices take over. Or, maybe how many wonderful adventures and experiences you might have if you were not constrained by unfounded fears. There is certainly nothing wrong with thinking about and considering any risks that may be involved in anything that you are considering doping. However, it is paralyzing to let your imagination run wild and to conjure up an improbable list of reasons why you should not even try. Thinking doesn’t have to stop you from doing things or meeting people, it just better prepares you for dealing with the unknown alternatives.

So do as Dr. Seuss advised and think left and right, high and low; don’t let thinking stop you, but think as you go.

So, think already…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Let it go. Spit it out. Taste the joy.

August 12, 2020

I save many of the little quotes that Pastor Jack Freed uses in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, because they provide inspiration for posts that I write. Every now and then, I notice that a couple of those saved quotes just seem to be right when one puts them together. Today is one of those days and these are the quotes that I saved over time.

“Suffering is not holding you, you are holding suffering.” – Buddha

“Life is like eating a watermelon.  Spit out the seeds of woe and taste the pulp of joy.”  (Unknown) 

Buddha was a pretty cool dude when it came to sayings that make a lot of sense and explain a lot of things. Likewise, “Unknown” (or Anon as he/she is often called) is always a good source of wisdom.

I’m sure that most of us know someone who just can’t let go of the suffering over some  tragedy or setback in their life – the loss of a loved one or perhaps the disappointment of being passed over for a promotion at work. We often label these people as “long suffering.” They just can’t let it go. They go through life with a mouthful of seeds instead of spitting them out. They never taste the sweet pulp of the melon because they are content to suffer with the seeds of woe. The suffering is not holding them. They are holding onto the suffering, because that has become their life.

If you know someone like that, or perhaps realize that you have become someone like that, it’s time for an interdiction. Help is as close as your bible. In it you will find –

 “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” – John 16:24

Most of the time you will find that long suffers have not stopped and asked God for help. They have not asked God to take away the pain and suffering, and let them get on with living their life. In some cases, they cannot forgive themselves for “things left undone” – missing the chance to say I love you one last time, or letting some sign of distress go unnoticed. If you can just get them to ask by earnestly praying for God’s help, you and they may be amazed at what God can do to take the seeds of woe out of their life and allow them to once again taste the pulp of joy.

Sometimes you may find that these long suffering people have just wandered away from their faith and become confused about why God would allow the tragedy to happen in their lives. There have been tons of articles and books written on the conundrum of why bad things happening to good people and God’s role in both the good and the bad in our lives. They always come back to the same conclusion – that God is not controlling everything that happens in our lives, but that faith in Him can control how we react to those things. It is faith that allows one to let go of the seeds of woe and taste the joy in life. Faith allows us to endure whatever this life throws at us, because we are confident that our next life is going to be wonderful.

These days it is easy on Social Media or maybe with a card to express condolences or offer a word of encouragement to someone who is suffering woes, but that is less helpful that taking some positive action. Perhaps your role is to help that long-suffering person fine their way back to their faith. One small way to help is to offer to pray with them. Prayer is usually a very personal thing, so opening yourself up to them n that way is a very powerful act of kindness and sharing that may allow them to break out of their shell of self-pity and seek God’s help. It also helps them to see that they are not alone, which many suffering woes feel.

If he person that needs help is the person that you see in the mirror every morning, there is nothing more powerful that coming to that conclusion and asking for God’s help. One does not have to say long, ponderous prayers in order to call for God’s help. I have posted here a few times about the short, but extremely powerful, little prayer that I use, “Not my will, but Thy will be done.”  Just saying that little prayer is earnest can help you let go and spit out the seeds of woe. You will then be free to taste the pulp of joy in your life.

Let it go. Spit it out. Taste the Joy.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Turn your “m” upside down to turn your life around…

August 11, 2020

There is a simple way to make a rather dramatic change in the trajectory of your life. It involves letting go of a self-centered approach to life and embracing a life dedicated to the common good of all. I call it turning your “m” upside down – taking the letter “m” from the self-centered word “me” and turning it upside down until it becomes the letter “w” and the word become “we”. It is a conscious effort to consider the impact on others when making decisions in your life and not just yourself. It is also a commitment to be more inclusive, less prejudiced and more open to others – to expand the “we” members in your life.

We became a very me-oriented society sometime in the 1990’s and things have only gotten worse in the new century. It is that focus on “me” that has also increasingly lead to the polarization of society, as people began to seek out and gravitate towards others who thought like “me”. It became the norm to also identify the “them” in our lives who were not like “me” and thus to be vilified. Prejudices whether racial or based upon other factors like sexual preferences are basically a definition of people who are not like “me”. We seek the comfort of others who think like they do because it is less lonely than just “me” and it provides some sense of justification of our beliefs within the anonymity of a group. At the end of the day it is still a “me” reaction to life.

The truth is that we do not and cannot live in a “me” world. The world is not about me and our lives cannot be about that either. Christ did not say “Love yourself”; instead he said love your neighbor as you love yourself. Christ was telling us to take that “m” in me and turn it upside down so that it made the word “we”. Jesus did not tell the rich man to go get more money, more possessions and more power for himself. He told him to sell everything that he had and give the money to the poor. He was trying to help that man see that “we” is more powerful that “me”. Unfortunately, that man wandered off unable to bring himself to turn his “m” upside down.

There are those who have a knee-jerk reaction to any discussion of the “we” aspect of life – the common good for all. They immediately label it as Socialism and, out of their limited understanding of that term and their misguided prejudices, they dismiss it. That reaction is driven by the fear that becoming concerned about “we” means giving up something for “me”. Our lives are about much more than just money and possessions – they are about how we live them. It is time to stop and think about how focused you are upon the “me” and what you can do to turn your “m” upside down and become more about the “we” in your life – your family, your friends and all of the people that you’ve been leaving out because they were not part of “us”.

If you can do that, I think you’ll find that you are living a much more rewarding and fulfilling life. There is happiness, joy and reward to be found in “we” that are missing when you r focus in just upon “me”. Even if the “me” ends up with a little less, the reward to be found in focusing upon “we” more than lakes up for any sacrifice, made by me. The country that consistently ranks as having the happiest society in the world is Finland, followed by Denmark, Norway, Iceland, and The Netherlands. One might ask how societies in such remote and somewhat rugged locations be so happy? In all those countries there are societies more attuned to “we” than just to “me”.  Even our neighbor to the north – Canada – provides an example of how much more friendly a society can be when it is more focused on “we” than “me”.

It all starts with each ”me”. Each me  must each make the individual decision to focus more on the common good and not just on our own good. If enough “me’s” start doing that it will tum into an “us” that we can be proud to be a part of and “we” will all be better off.

What will you do today to turn your “m” upside down and become a “we” person?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be goofy today…

August 10, 2020

In his blog this morning Pastor Freed used this quote – “You’re never too old to do goofy stuff.”  (Ward Cleaver)

Those who don’t recognize the name Ward Cleaver are probably young enough to do almost anything goofy; however, for those of us who remember watching Leave it to Beaver, Pastor Freed’s post contained the advice that as one gets older it is good to also become wiser about which goofy things one tries. He used the example of getting on a pogo stick, which is probably a bad idea for most people over 70 (maybe even for those over 50).

There are many goofy things that one can do at any stage in life without endangering themselves. I’ve suggested here a few times that you lighten up your life by making a funny (or goofy) face in the mirror in the morning. Many people, especially in their middle age years, become too focused on success in their business lives, too serious and intense to even pay attention to their families, much less to their own mental health needs. We often hear it said that they are driven to success and pursuit of their goals. All too often those “driven” people are not happy people. Do you know someone like that?

Some business coaching articles and books would have us believe that we should learn to imitate those driven individuals, to use their techniques of focus and drive as role models for our own lives. There is an underlying thought in that advice which assumes that accomplishment of some or all of those business goals will equate to happiness. That is seldom the case. The accomplishment of success-oriented business goals must often just leads to the setting of bigger and higher goals – getting to the next level – which leads to even more intensity and drive. It never seems to be enough.

Yet many people who have not achieved notable success in the business world are happier by far. Why is that? Perhaps it is because they have focused more upon the important things in life – their faith in God and the personal relationships in their lives. A grandpa who spends time on the floor doing goofy things with his grandchildren is often more happy that the Grandpa who convenes a board meeting of his company.  The person that has a strong relationship with God is more likely to be happy with what he/she has than to be driven to accumulate more things, more money, more power. That person is also more free to do goofy things that they enjoy than the person driven by schedules and concerns about how things might look to others if they did something goofy.

Maybe you should add a line to your prayers and ask God to “Let me find something goofy to do today.”  It will lighten up your day and free you to focus upon what’s really important in life. Just remember to be goofy safely.

Have a goofy day and stay off of pogo sticks!

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Posted by Norm Werner

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