Find healing in your memories…

May 27, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 25, 2009.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” (Seen on a headstone in Ireland) This is a good one to think about while Memorial Day is still fresh in our minds. We all have our memories that can never be taken away from us, don’t we? 😉 Jack

The sharp pain of the loss of a loved one may fade into a constant ache but it never completely goes away. What slowly replaces it is the warmth of our fond memories of that person. The tears of the loss are replaced by the smiles of the memories. It is in those memories and the memories of others who knew them that the departed live on.

Our memories of loved ones help us build a wall to keep out the pain while creating a calming and pleasant garden containing the love that we had for them. Start building that wall by spending time remembering the good times that you had together, the great adventures that you shared or the moments of triumph that you experienced together. Rethink about those times over several days and the wall will build. You will have pleasant and fond memories of them instead of the pain of their loss. That is what you want to keep in your heart.

Many times, the key to creating or unlocking that garden is prayer. Prayer puts you in the right frame of mind to allow you to remember the good and to shove any bad memories to the other side of the wall. Prayer allows the loved that you had for that person to overcome the grief of their loss. Prayer reinforces the hope and belief that you will be together again for eternity.

If you do this for all of the loved ones that are no longer here, you will find that quiet times that once might have been filled with sadness or loneliness are now spent in a garden filled with fond memories of pleasant times. No one can steal that away from you. It’s your garden that you build out of your loving memories.  Go there to remember and heal.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Do it now…

May 19, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 19, 2014.

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” (Seneca) The problem of procrastination is not new. Seneca wrote about it 2000 years ago. Things need doing NOW; you’re not going to live forever. Many of us are motivated by “dead-lines.” A doctor said, “I can help you, but none of us is going to live forever…not me, not you.” Are there things that need to be done, relationships that need fixing? Life is speeding by. 😉  Jack

It is easy for procrastination to become a way of life. One can get used to not making decisions and living with the consequences. I’ll bet you know someone like that, or maybe you are that someone and you know it. Is life speeding by you?

Fixin’ to. I have developed a habit of procrastination that I call “Fixin’ to”. When faced with a big or complex job, I often tell my wife (and myself) that I’m “fixin’ to get to it”. I tell her (and myself) that I need a little more time for planning and thinking about it, before I get started. In reality, during that “fixin’ to” time, I often let my imagination run wild exploring all of the things that could go wrong. Of course, that further delays the actual work.

As I’ve often opined here, the same mind that can conjure up all of the disasters that might befall you can also deal with problems that do come up by inventing solutions on the fly. So, rather than spend your time “fixin to”, it is better to just do it and focus on the work and problem solutions that are needed.

If you have that feeling that life is just speeding by, maybe it is because you are spending to much “fixin to” time and not enough doing it time. Albert Einstein postulated that time is relative and that if you went fast enough it will even go in reverse. Perhaps if you just jump in and match the pace of life by not procrastinating you will find that it is not speeding you by. You’ll find more joy in life if you keep up with the pace of life.

Just do it now. The past is not worth reliving and the future is something that you really can’t change, no matter how much you worry about it. Live in the moment. Experience life. Solve problems as you go. Enjoy life. Do it now!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Just don’t accept it…

May 12, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 29, 2009.

“If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, the other person still owns the gift. The same is true of insults and verbal attacks.” (Steve Pavlina) This quote caused me to do a double-take. I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Pavlina is a writer and speaker who helps people motivate themselves to improve their lives. To have the right attitude toward people is part of that process. There’s times to engage, and times to ignore. 😉 Jack

Insults and verbal attacks are generally expected to provoke a reaction. I’ve noticed that nothing blunts such and attack and frustrates the attacker as much as the attack being ignored. Acknowledgement of any sort is a form of engagement that just encourages the attacker to continue. Just don’t accept it…

A little Zen saying that I saw recently seems to apply to this topic – “Negative thoughts only have the power over me that I allow them to have”. The same applies to insults and verbal attacks. They only have power over you if you allow them to. Ignoring them takes away that power. Just don’t accept it…

Sometimes it is impossible to completely ignore a verbal assault. In that case a reply such as “It is unfortunate that you feel that way” serves to dismiss their attack and shifts the ownership back to them. Just don’t accept it…

If the person making the remarks is someone that you must continue to interact with in the future and ignoring the remarks does not seem like a solution, then perhaps suggest that you would like to discuss it further, once both of you have had time to cool down and think things over. Just don’t accept it…

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you stronger than your excuses?

May 7, 2025

I saw this little Zen saying on one of the word games that I play on my phone – “I am stronger than my excuses.”

That little saying resonated with me because I realized that often I am not stronger than the excuses that I come up with and that results in procrastination or paralysis. You can substitute “imagined negative outcomes” for excuses, if that makes more sense to you.

Humans are blessed with great intellectual abilities (as compared to other species) and imagination, out of which comes great ideas and inventions. But, with that ability to think and imagine also comes the liability of imagining all of the possible negative outcomes of any situation – those become the excuses for doing nothing.

One of the traits that often define some of the greatest thinkers and inventors in history is the willingness to try and fail at something and then try again and again. Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Imagine how many great inventions we would not have had if Edison had let the fear of failure stop him from trying. He was stronger than his excuses.

It is in substituting the word “fears” for the word “excuses” that the saying reaches its full potential. Excuses are just rationalizations for our inability to overcome our fears. Those fears cause us to stop and maybe never venture a step further. We may even have some understanding that as George Addair said, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear.” Yet, many just make excuses for not moving forward and trying to get to that “other side”.

Are you stronger than your fears (excuses)? What fears have you let stop you? Are you really happy with the excuses that you’ve created? What can you do about that?

Perhaps a start to overcoming the fear that paralyzes you is found in this quote – “Fear is only as powerful as the attention you give it.” ― Glody Kikonga

Think about the news stories that you see from time to time about someone rescuing an injured driver from a burning car. Often when they are interviewed later someone will ask the hero of the story, “Weren’t you afraid of getting burned or of the car exploding?” Often the answer will be something like, “I didn’t think about it, I just saw the need and acted.” The hero didn’t stop to give those fears any attention. Action overcomes fear by pushing it aside and focusing your mind upon the tasks at hand.

man jumping off cliff

So, maybe the key to being stronger than your excuses (fears) is to jump into action, rather than sitting there thinking about all of the ways that you could fail. Once you are in motion, taking actions, you will find that your amazing mind refocuses upon problem solving, rather than excuse creation. You may initially fail, but you will learn from that failure and setting out on another try will be that much easier.

Allow yourself to try and fail and try again. You are stronger than your excuses, so let yourself do whatever it is that you have been making excuses for not doing.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you proud of who you are…

May 6, 2025

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent May 5, 2022.

“I’m proud of who I am.” (Rico Nasty) Today is celebrated as Cinco de Mayo, which translates as May the 5th. Surprisingly, it’s a bigger holiday in the USA than in Mexico. It’s a day when people of Mexican heritage show their pride in their roots, and remember that on May 5, 1862 the Mexican army defeated France in a battle for independence. Many of us are proud of our heritage. The Ukrainians come to mind. In spite of current divisions in our country, I’m still singing, “I’m proud to be an American.” How about you? 😉  Jack

 OK, so I’m a day late with this post. I had to think a while about what to write on the theme that Jack used in his post. I’m pretty sure that Jack would still say the same thing about being proud to be an American, even as he may have disagreed with most of the things that the current administration is doing. Are you proud of who you are?

The more important message in Rico Nasty’s quote if to be proud of who you are. Proud of the person you’ve become and the values and morals that you hold too. That pride can be based upon the honesty with which you conduct yourself. You can easily tell if that is true at the end of each day if you have conducted yourself in such a manner that you end the day without any feelings of guilt or remorse.  Are you proud of who you are?

We use a prayer at my church asking for forgiveness for “things which you have do and things left undone”. I most often find that last part to be the toughest and in need of the most forgiveness. Many of us leave things undone that we know we should do – help that we do not render when presented with the chance or maybe forgiveness not extended to someone who has wronged us.  Are you proud of who you are?

In today’s political environment what comes to mind immediately are the words of Martin Luther King – “Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about things that matter.” There are many ways to express your disagreement with things that are happening. I have Dr. King’s quote on a lawn sign that I display at times like this. It’s not marching in protest, but it is something and it gives me a small feeling of pride at the end of the day. Are you proud of who you are?

Yesterday I saw a little Zen message in a word game that I play on my phone – “Be happy with what you have, not envious of what others have.” I think that ability to be happy with your life and what you have or have accomplished and not envious of the possessions or accomplishments of others is a key to being proud of who you are. Many just don’t spend enough time being thankful for and taking pride in what they have and what they done – perhaps a successful marriage, maybe raising great children, or being happy and successful with your work.  Are you proud of who you are?

In the end, it will all come down to that moment of judgement between you and God and it will be God asking that question about your life – Are you proud of who you were?  The good news is that if you are reading this post, you still have time to make changes in your life so that you can answer that question with a smile. Until that time at the end of each day, look back and ask yourself – Are you proud of who you are?

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Posted by Norm Werner