Gratitude or entitlement, which are you teaching?

November 24, 2021

In today’s post to his blog, Jack’s Winning Words, Pastor Fred shared this Thanksgiving prayer sent to him by one of his followers –

“Put gratitude in your attitude!”  (Sent by Carol Retan)

A suggested Thanksgiving Table Prayer for you to use:

For food in a world where many walk in hunger,

For faith in a world where many walk in fear,

For friends in a world where many walk alone,

We offer our humble gratitude, O Lord.  AMEN

In our society, many seem to have moved away from being thankful for what they have to a selfish attitude of entitlement. Perhaps much of that results from our tendency to try to give our children all of the things that we might not have had. While that seems like a worthy goal on the surface, it may actually be an attempt to enjoy life through our children and it teaches them the wrong lesson. There is very little “value” associated with things that we don’t have to work for to achieve, and that is true for our children, too.

A recent survey found that the majority of parents say that their children are not thankful for all of the things that they’ve been given. Well, DUH! If they didn’t have to do anything to get those things, how are they supposed to assign a value to them and be thankful for them. We have created generations of young people who feel entitled to everything, rather than grateful for what they have.

So, what are we to do? It’s never to late to start teaching the right things and gratitude is certainly one of those things. Insisting that children write a letter/card or call those who give them things to say Thank You, is a start. Don’t allow just a text message or a post on Instagram to suffice. When children achieve a goal or have a major accomplishment, they should be encouraged to thankful to any and all who may have helped them, and they should thank God for giving them the patience and perseverance to prevail.

Gratitude is based upon humility, whereas entitlement is based upon hubris. Which are you teaching your children?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Wow. Another day!

October 12, 2021

There are many things that we tend to take for granted and not think about very much. Life itself is one of them. That is why the quote in today’s installment of the Jack’s Winning Words blog is so important –

“Every day is a renewal, every morning the daily miracle. This joy you feel is life.” (Gertrude Stein)

Waking up in the morning should not be taken for granted. Not being indifferent about each day will do two things – force you to make the most of today and allow you to be thankful for seeing the morning.

“Image courtesy of Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

It is a shame that so many people come to that realization so late in life. Perhaps it is the fact that the daily lives of older people tend to slow down, and they have time to think about life. Time and life itself take on increased value as one finally perceives that both are limited.  The young think that there will always be a tomorrow and more time to get things done. As one gets older the certainty of that fades and the importance of enjoying what time one has left increases. The youthful sense of entitlement to another day also fades with age and be replaced with a sense of thankfulness to see another morning.

The physical consequences of aging often limit mobility which serves to force one to focus upon what is right around them. Sometimes when one is not so busy “doing”, they have the time to appreciate what they are seeing all around them. It is then that they make begin to see the beauty that they have been overlooking or notice the wonder of some of God’s creation that is right at hand.

If you wake up each morning and take the time to thank God for another day, it will put you in the right frame of mind to make the most of that day, you will be able to feel the joy of life all day long.

Wow, I just realized that I have another day. I’m glad that I had some time to share with you, but I’ve got to go. There’s so much to see.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Find happiness in today…

July 26, 2021

I have been saving this quote for a while – “Never forget yesterday, but always live for today…because you never know what tomorrow can bring, or what it can take away.”  (Tiny Buddha)

Of course, it came from a post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog, my favorite source for quotes.

I decided to use it today because of the stories over the weekend of various Olympic athletes who have had to withdraw from the competition because of testing positive for the COVID virus. Imagine how disappointing it must be for someone who has trained for 5 years for their opportunity (the extra year because of the delay of the games in 2020), only to be denied the chance to even compete at the last minute.

For one competitor, it must have been especially disappointing. John Rahm was at the Olympics to represent Spain. Rahm, you may remember, was forced to withdraw from the Memorial Golf tournament just a little over a month ago because of testing positive for COVID. He came back to win the US Open in his next outing and has been ranked number 1 or 2 in the world for some time.

In some of the interviews with disqualified athletes the disappointment of the moment had passed and they were already in the mode of training for the “next time”. For them, living in the moment means finding happiness in the small successes and improvements that come from a daily training routine and from knowing that they were doing their best.  Rahm expressed such an attitude after his withdrawal from the Memorial tournament.

We must all learn to accept and build upon the past, whether that is to continue improving or to learn from a failure and move on. It is OK to have goals and dreams that are out in the future. That helps motivate us. However, it is really important that we focus on living for today, doing the best that you can in the time that you will have today. Tomorrow may never come for some. For others tomorrow may provide nothing but setbacks or may prove to be a time of breaking through to a new level.

So, if we cannot change the past and we cannot control the future, that leaves us with just the present in which to find happiness. What we do with today is all that really matters and we can control that, or at least make good decisions as the day unfolds. Living in the moment means paying attention to the things, people and events around you as you encounter them. It means finding fulfilment and joy in what you do. It means being happy just to be alive and finding peace within yourself and with others.

Perhaps you can get into the proper frame of mind to live in the moment if you start with a little prayer thanking God for giving you another day. You woke up this morning and that is a great start to the day. After you thank God for another day, ask Him for His help to make this a great day; a day that you live to the fullest. You don’t have to forget yesterday, just put it where it belongs – in your past – and you shouldn’t spend too much time thinking or worrying about tomorrow – it will get here when it gets here.

Rather, let yourself become immersed in today. Take in the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of today. Relish the opportunities to interact with other people. Become more aware of what new things you are experiencing or learning as the day progresses. Savor the day, for it is all the time that you really have. At the end of the day, you can take time to thank God for being with you and helping you enjoy the time. That would be a good time to ask Him for another day.

What will you do with today? What happiness will you find in today?

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Posted by Norm Werner

On being thankful…

November 26, 2020

Our thoughts turn to things to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving ay 2020. It has been a year, so far, that saw the cancelation of almost everything that we look forward to sports events, parades, wedding and more have been put off or were not held , due to the COVID-19 pandemic. For many it has been a year of gut-wrenching pain as they lost loved ones to the disease. Many others, who lived through it, continue to suffer the debilitating after effects of it. For others, the loss of jobs has left them destitute and barely able to hold on. For them, this Thanksgiving feels like one that Charlie Brown described in a recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog –

“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner.  All I can make is cold cereal or maybe toast.”   (Charlie Brown)

Yet, all who are in those states still have something for which to be thankful. They are all still alive to be thinking about it. If they are reduced to eating cold cereal and a piece of toast that is still more than the starving children of many African nations have today. If they ae homeless and living on the streets, they are still LIVING and being thankful for that is a start.

Most of us are probably not facing such hardships this day, but most also probably don’t begin each day by being thankful that they woke up again. As one gets older, that becomes more of a thing for which to be thankful. If one starts by thanking God for giving them another day, it is easier to move on to finding other things for which to be thankful – friends and family come immediately to mind.

Each of us could quickly compile a list of other things for which we are thankful. That puts one on the right frame of mind to go out and create new things for which to be thankful – successes in one’s job, meeting new people and making new friends, experiencing new and different things in life and so much more.

So eat the cereal and toast, if that’s what life gives you, and be thankful that you are still here to do so. Take a moment to thank God for giving you another day in which you can do better, experience more and be happier. God’s promise was not heaven on earth; but rather Heaven after earth. Don’t ask God to give you more; ask instead that He help you find more joy in what  you have already. The Bible tells us…

“Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot.”  (Ecclesiastes 5:18)

We are also admonished to lighten up about life –

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” (Matthew 6:25-34)

God’s got our backs.

So, be at peace this Thanksgiving holiday and take a moment to find the things that you should be thankful for, beginning with that moment that you have of life.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be thankful and be safe.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Seek God’s help with your day…

November 25, 2019

A recent post to the Jack’s Wining Words blog contained this Native American blessing – “May every sunrise bring you hope.  May every sunset bring you peace.” 

The simple and honest faith of Native Americans in what they called The Great Spirit (God) is something to be admired and emulated. Their faith was not perverted by religious practices or church dogma. They saw the hand of The Great Spirit in nature and had a very direct, personal relationship with God.

We all start the day with hopes. A quick way to make the prospects of achieving your hopes today is to pause to ask for God’s help. Ask not that God make your hopes come true; but rather, ask for the wisdom and strength of character to make wise decisions during the day and the determination to carry out your decisions.

If you seek God’s help at the beginning of the day, it will be much easier at the end of the day to find peace. The key to that peace is to focus upon all of the things that you did get done and not on the things that remain for you to do. Thank God, for His help during the day and be satisfied that you did all that you could today to realize your hopes. If you get into a routine of asking God and thanking God each day for His help in fulfilling your hopes, you may find that your hopes each morning align better with your ability to achieve those hopes. That is part of the wisdom that you were seeking in your morning prayer.

So, be happy and thankful that you made it to another sunrise and pause to seek God’s help with your day. Then, at the end of the day, pause to thank God for His help during the day and find the peace that you need to get a good night’s sleep.

Tomorrow will be another day filled with hope.

Have a great week ahead and  be thankful on Thanksgiving Day.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Entitled to nothing; but, thankful for everything…

August 12, 2017

Today’s quote is one that I saw on the Jack’s Winning Words blog recently – “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.”  (Tiny Buddha)

I would have added the words “they have” to the end of that quote. It is the human tendency to covet what we don’t have that causes dissatisfaction and dissention in our lives. Perhaps the most over-abused term in our modern language is the word “right”, as in it is my right to have (put in anything that you have heard lately using that phrase). Many people feel that they are entitled to or have a right to things that they don’t have and they somehow come to the conclusion that the society that they live in have some sort of obligation to provide them with that things or service or whatever it is that they feel entitle to. In fact, this feeling has become so prevalent in America that news casts often capture people characterizing things like access to health care or a clean water supply as “basis human rights.”

Let’s be clear. There are no such things as basic human rights or entitlements. One has only to journey to the wilds of the South American Jungles or the jungles of Africa to find primitive tribes living hard-scramble subsistence existences to find examples of peoplei want living in the most natural state of human rights. Anywhere else, where people are given, or have free access to, things above the subsistence level by the society they live in, is an example of privileges being extended by that society and not examples of people having rights to those things.

Those people living without entitlements in the wilderness are very happy when the tribal hunters return from a successful hunt or when what crops that they might plant bear fruit. They may wish for an easier life, but they may also be happy with what God has provided them from the land around them, even if their concept of God is somewhat murky.

No one wants to return to a crude, subsistence level of living in the jungle; however, all of us could learn to be a little more thankful and happy with what God has provided and be less focused upon what we don’t have. That is not to say that we need put up with cases of overt discrimination or criminal activities, such as happened in the Flint water crisis; however, we should couch our response to such activity in the proper terms. It was not that the Flint residents had a basic human right to clean water so much as it was that the residents who were paying for water to their houses had the right to expect that the water would be clean and safe to drink and use. That was not the case in Flint and is perhaps not the case in other locations in America. In some cases, it involves ineptitude on the part of the governmental bodies that supply the water and in others it involves criminal conduct by those who knew that they were doing wrong, such as in Flint.

woman-prayingOne can get in the right frame of mind about life by starting each day with a little “thank you” prayer to God for allowing you to awaken to another day. You weren’t even entitled to that day, so right away you have been given a gift to enjoy. Everything beyond that is just something that you should enjoy and be thankful for having. So, take the advice from today’s quote and make the best of everything that you have; rather than spend your time and energy worrying about things that you don’t have. God has just given you the most precious thing that money can’t buy and which isn’t a right – time. Use your time today wisely; be thankful and happy and make the best of what you have.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What are you grateful for?

November 29, 2016

“Gratitude improves your attitude, dude!”  (James Taylor), as seen on a recent post at the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

When you get older even things like waking up for another day can be something that one gratitude-1is grateful for. Being grateful is a realization and acknowledgement that the things that happen to us, the experiences that we have and the successes that we experience in life are not totally within our control. Other powers, or other people, have a causal effect on our lives. When you can acknowledge that, the veil of feeling alone in this world is lifted and your gratitude improves your attitude, dude.

When we can put aside ego for a moment and acknowledge and be grateful for those other people and that higher power, we are embracing the fact that we are part of something greater than ourselves; we are a part of society, a member of the pack called “We”. There is some reward in saying “I” did it; but there is a much greater feeling of goodness when you can say “We” did it. It is much more rewarding to thanks and hug others and receive hugs for having accomplished something together than to sit alone and ponder your success. Gratitude improves your attitude, dude.

gratitude-3Beyond acknowledging and being grateful for the help of others, there is the awareness that a higher power is at work in the world and does not ignore you. You may call out for help in prayer to God or you may thank God for saving your bacon today; in either case you are stepping back from your own ego and acknowledging God and showing gratitude for His presence in your life. A secondary benefit of thanking God in prayer for what he has already done for you is the comforting feeling that you’ll get that the future will be OK too, because He will be with you then, too. Gratitude improves your attitude, dude.

We are in the season when people overload on Hallmark Channel feel-good movies and shows and all of the classics from Miracle on 34th Street to Charlie Brown’s Christmas. In every happy ending to those stories there is a group acknowledgement of gratitude for each other and for God and the spirit of Christmas as expressed in the manger in attitude-2Bethlehem. Every Christmas story ends with a group hug and cheerful attitudes as the characters acknowledge and are grateful for the birth of Jesus and His lasting impact on their lives. What are you grateful for this year? Think about it and then say it our loud. It will make you feel better to do that, because gratitude improve your attitude, dude.

Have a grateful week ahead!

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be a good traveler, enjoy the journey…

February 9, 2015

“It’s good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”  (Ursala Le Guin), as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

At the micro-level of a week, we often start out each week with some goals, some end that we will be journeying towards that week, or at least with a calendar of known and planned events that we intend to participate in that week.  At the end of the week, we might be able to look back with some satisfaction at having accomplished those goals or we might look back and be thankful that we survived the twists and turns that life moral compassthrew at us during that short time period. In either event what we are then looking back upon is the journey that took place during the week.

We might look back on things and, with the luxury of time to more clearly see the decision points on the journey, engage in “Monday morning quarterbacking.” We should have run the ball and not attempted the pass that was intercepted has been a favorite lament lately. That is engaging in the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” syndrome, which is largely a waste of time.

Rather, it is better to look back, if you must, and try to learn from what just transpired. What choices did you have and why did you make the ones that you ended up making? Did those choices end up playing out the way that you envisioned? Would you have made a different choice had you the time to think about it more or maybe thinking hardhave had more information upon which to base a decision? Reflecting on things is one of the more basic ways of learning and increasing your ability to deal with things in the future. It also increases your ability to lay out more clear and realistic goals for the rest of the journey ahead.

Another important point to be more aware of is that all of our journeys have the same endpoint. They all start the same way and end the same way. Some take longer than others to reach the end point, but none  (with one exception) have ever found a way beyond that endpoint.  Having said that, perhaps the goal businessman looking at watchshould be to enjoy the journey as much as possible. Enjoying the journey requires that we take the time to “stop and smell the roses” – to enjoy the people that we meet and the places that we go and the experiences that we have as we go.

Enjoying the journey means waking up each morning and being thankful for the opportunity for another day’s travel. Enjoying the journey means taking the time to stop and really listen to those that we meet, getting to know them, and sharing some stories of each other’s journeys.  Enjoying the journey means looking up from your labors to see the things around you and to appreciate the wonders that are there. Enjoying the journey means reflecting upon the experiences that we have each day, rather than rushing onto the next experience.

So, if you were thankful for the chance for another day’s journey at the start of the day; perhaps you should pause at the end of the day to savior the memories of that day. If man relaxingyou started the day thanking God for giving you another chance to travel on; perhaps you should double back and thank Him for making it memorable. You might also reflect on what you did during the day to make that day better and more memorable for those that you met along the way. Remember that, no matter what you do, the end will be the same. The differences will be found in what you do along the journey.

Did you stop and hold a door open for the next person, or just rush through the door to see what was on the other side? Did you reach into your pocket for some change to give helping handto the poor man sitting on the sidewalk or just shove your hands in your pockets and hurry by him to get to your next appointment? Did you use some of your time to help build or repair a house for another in need or were you too intent on buying more stuff for your own house? At the end of the day, is this how you would want to end your journey?

It’s Monday and you have a whole week’s worth of life’s journey ahead of you. Set some goals for yourself that don’t involve just getting ahead and making more money. Set some goals that have to do with enjoying the journey more and making a positive difference in the lives of those that you meet along the way. Then when Saturday comes along you’ll be able to look back and fondly remember the people, the places and the events of this week’s journey. Have a great week ahead!

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Posted by Norm Werner