Who is watching you?

May 5, 2021

Two quotes that I’ve been saving to write about just seem to go together.

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like there’s nobody listening, and live like it’s heaven on earth.” ― William W. Purkey

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.”― Eleanor Roosevelt

Purkey’s quote is the better known and one that is often referenced, especially the first few words. Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote though not as well known is none the less quite true and good advice.  At the core of both is the need to just be you and live your life without letting to many concerns about what others may think of you dictate how you act. That is not to say that it is OK to do anything illegal or harmful just because you fell like doing it. There are norms within any society that dictate a few limits to our behavior.

Most of us do stop to think about what others may think before we act on an impulse to sing out loud or dance in public; but sometimes the impulse is just too strong and we do it anyway, not caring, in those cases, what anyone else may think. The hesitancy to express love for someone else out of fear of rejection is probably something that many have experienced. Maybe it was a crush on someone in school (maybe even a crush on a teacher) or perhaps some fantasy about a popular entertainment figure that played out in your mind. Most get over this unrequited love, but some went on to become stalkers and get into trouble over it.

So, within reason, whether it’s dancing or singing or loving, it is important to do what is in your heart and not let the criticism that may follow dictate your actions. Implicit in Roosevelt’s quote and at the end of Purkey’s quote is the real key message of both – live life like it is heaven on earth. If you start each day with a positive, upbeat attitude and with a sense of gratitude to God that you have been given another day in Paradise, the whole day will go better for you.

Instead of looking ahead at the day and asking yourself, “How can I get through this day?”, ask instead, “How can I make this day even better for me and for someone else?” Why? Not because someone is watching you; but because God is watching you. God gave you another day and is watching to see what you will do with it. We are told in the Bible –

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)

You know in your heart that doing things that are harmful to others or illegal are not “good, acceptable and perfect”. God did not put those things in your mind, or your heart and you can feel that they are not right. Through prayer, search your heart for the things that God put there and do them, instead. Then you will be living like it is heaven on earth. If you do that, maybe others will sing along with you when you thought that no one was watching.

Have a great day doing the right things. God is watching you and others are waiting to sign along with you. Live like it’s heaven on earth.

1 Comment | faith, Inspiration | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Things unsaid can cause damage, too…

April 20, 2021

In his post today, Pastor Freed used this quote in his blog, Jack’s Winning Words – “Always ask yourself what will happen if I say nothing.”  (Kamand Kojouri)

Paster Freed went on to write – Each of us has probably found ourself in a situation where…(“I should have kept my mouth shut -.or -Why didn’t I speak up when I had the opportunity?)  One of my favorite Bible passages is Ecclesiastes 3…”There’s a time for everything.  There’s a time to speak up…and a time to shut up.”  (Ed -Actually the Bible verse says a time to speak and a time to remain silent.)

I have a sign on my front lawn that is a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. – “Our lives begin to end the day that we become silent about things that matter.”

The point of King’s message and the answer to Kojouri’s quote is that there are consequences associated with remaining quiet, not speaking up or taking action when we witness things that are wrong. That is not to say that it is right to go out into the streets and participate in lawless riots. The looting and burning that we have witnessed in the aftermath of recent racially charge police killings is not the action that either King or Kojouri were alluding to either. They are not a part of the solution and just detract from making progress on solving problems like police brutality by a few rouge officers.

The leaders (inspirational or otherwise) of all great movements in history have been those who chose to speak up about things that mattered and that were wrong. In most cases they were not out rioting in the streets, but rather out there to raise their voices in protest and to demand change (or justice). Many of them, in fact, spoke quietly but forcefully. Many endured hardships or imprisonment (Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela come to mind), but they continued to speak out against the wrongs that they saw in their countries and societies.

In many news casts one sees people of all colors joining in protest against some injustice or wrong that they have seen against a person of a specific color or ethnicity. Those people answered the question that Kojouri asked by deciding that doing nothing was not an answer acceptable to them. Doing nothing  is an answer that does not often lead to change. Just deciding that you won’t go to a planned anti-gay rally is not an action that will cause change. Going to be part of a counter-group to stand in protest of that rally, and the thoughts behind it, is an action which may either change minds or at least show support of the opposite view and the people being targeted.

It is important to ask yourself the question that Kojouri raised and to adopt the philosophy that King espoused when the answer is that the thing that you are considering really matters. There are many things in life upon which you may wish to remain neutral and here will be no harmful consequences, like choosing between Right or Left Twix, for instance. However there are also many things which you may try avoid taking a stance on that can, and do, impact your life and the lives of others; often in ways that you don’t initially understand. It is easy to say to yourself, “This doesn’t impact me, so I will stay out of it.” That is that attitude and inaction that encourages bullying, for instance.

So keep your mind and your options open when you encounter things that don’t seem right to you. Determine if this is something that matters to you or to others around you and ask yourself the question that Kojouri asked. When you have determined that it is something that matters, I think the answer to Kojouri’s question will come easily to you and silence or inaction will no longer be an option.

1 Comment | faith, Inspiration | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

Doing the right thing…

October 6, 2015

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing.”  (The Fray)  – as seen on the Jack’s Winning Words Blog.

That line is from the song “All at Once”. One might think (or hope) that it would be easy to do the right thing. Most of the time I believe that we make it hard on ourselves, because the “right thing to do” isn’t always the popular or “in” thing. We don’t stop to really examine our motivation for doing something that we may know in our hearts is not the right thing to do. Instead we temporarily put aside our values and better judgement and make the choices that we think will make us more decisionspopular, more attractive, or maybe more powerful. Sometimes the decisions may involve wealth and we may believe that with more money we will be able to make things right later – only later never comes.

I guess that, getting back to the values upon which we should be basing our decisions, one of our core values should be that we will not abandon our values for convenience sake or for temporary gains. If we say to ourselves that we know right from wrong, then what possible argument can we make to choose wrong? How can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “I know this is wrong, but I choose to do it anyway”? Situations come and go, but values like ethics and integrity and honesty stay with us, or at least they should. I’ve posted here before about people who seem to employ “institutional ethics”- ethics that change with the situation. For these people, there is no right or wrong, no black and white, only shades of gray which they get to conveniently define as the situation requires. Convincing yourself that what was right was right for this situation, but perhaps not for another is a slippery slope that you do not want to step out onto.
loving coupleSo, getting this back to a more personal level, sometimes it’s hard to end a relationship, even when you know  in your heart that it’s the right thing to do. Perhaps that “friend” is doing things that you know aren’t right and you don’t want to follow him/her down that path. Maybe that boyfriend or girlfriend has not turned out to be the person that you thought they were and you can’t see a future for the relationship. Perhaps it is even within the context of a marriage and you can now see that your partner has turned out to be someone that you do not want to spend the rest of your life with. That is especially true in abusive relationships. The right thing in each case may be to end the relationship and that is quite often the hardest thing to do.

In those situations; before you consider delivering the old “it isn’t you; it’s me” speech or the old sawangry couple “this just isn’t working out”, stop and take some thoughtful time to examine what your role has been and what efforts you have put into the relationship. No one ever said that relationships were always going to be easy. Marriages especially take work and commitment and compromise from both parties. Perhaps the most honest assessment of a failed relationship could be that you or your partner just weren’t ready to play the expected role.

Maybe you or your partner weren’t mature enough yet to make the commitments and compromises that were required. Perhaps one or both of you allowed certain aspects of the relationship, maybe physical aspects, to overwhelm your better judgement or cloud your perception of the other party and mask their faults. Maybe you even masked your own faults from them in order to get the divorcerelationship going. Over time the fog of “love” clears away and the mascaraed cannot be maintained. When you get to the point of “what you see is what you get”, there needs to be a foundation built on something better than just good sex or good looks or some other superficial thing. If there is no foundation for a future together, then the right thing to do may be to find a way out, even if it is the hardest things to do.

The bottom line for life and relationships is to always try to do the right thing, not necessarily the easiest thing. You will sleep better at night and save the waste of time of having to look over your shoulder to see if some wrong is catching up with you. So; do the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing.

Leave a Comment » | Inspiration | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner