Chose to do the right thing…it matters.

April 16, 2025


The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – Originally sent April 6, 2016.
“The only alternative to co-existence is co-destruction.” (Nehru) There’s been some scary talk lately about the use of nuclear weapons. This world is better served by leaders who seek ways to co-exist with diversity than to work toward eradicating any way but “our” way. In any relationship there has to be give and take (bargaining) to make it work. The healthiest families have learned this. Even God bargains: “If you will be my people, I will be your God.” 😉 Jack


I suspect Jack would be appalled by today’s political environment in the United States. I know that if he were still alive he would not be silent about his displeasure with and opposition to the things happening here in America and around the world in places like Ukraine.


I am reminded of the words of Martin Luther King when he said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”. There are lots of things that matter under attack right now. Many politicians (usually of a specific party) have chosen to remain silent about what is happening. Not so, obviously, for members of the other political party.


A key thing to watch and understand is why these politicians are remaining silent (or in some cases even defending the wrongs that they see happening). Just like children, they are succumbing to bullying. They are afraid, and in that fear their cowardice and sense of self-preservation overcomes their basic sense of right and wrong. Indeed, some have even convinced themselves that what they see happening is right and good.


Let me stop here and state that I do not disagree that there are many things that need to be fixed or corrected. The issue for me and I suspect many others is the approach that is being taken to solving those problems. That concern about the approach is also what seems to be driving so many of the judicial restraining orders and temporary halts to actions being taken to solve the problems.


Can federal employees be fired or laid off? Certainly, just not in the capricious ways that are currently being employed. Can illegal immigrants be deported? Of course, just not without some level of due process ,as we are currently seeing. Can people disagree with what is happening and voice that disagreement, whether in peaceful protest or in news articles or broadcasts. Yes, that is a fundamental right in the Constitution.


So here we are. People are being rounded up, shipped off to holding facilities thousands of miles from their family and friend or put on planes and flown to foreign prisons all without due process. Major decisions that should be considered, debated and voted upon by our elected representatives are now made by decree. And the restructuring of the federal bureaucracy, which certainly can be defended as being justified and long overdue, continues at a chaotic and destructive pace with no thought or plan in evidence.


While the current politicians in power appear to have chosen the co-destruction option, there is still hope that sanity and some latent sense of right and wrong will prevail. However, we cannot just sit on the sidelines and hope for the best. We must not be silent about things that matter. It is up to each of us and all of us to resist what we know is wrong, even in the face of the bullying that we know will come as a result. What form that resistance takes is also up to each of us. What will you do? It matters.


No other option…

September 26, 2024

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 9/3/24 – Originally sent August 30, 2021.

“Everything is going to work out; there’s no other option.” Kari Miller) Kari is amazing! She lost her legs in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and took a bad situation and made it better by joining the American Paralympics Sitting Volleyball Team. Try playing volleyball while sitting! I have a hard time while standing. But when you have no other option, you do what you can do. All of the Paralympians give us encouragement that things will work out for those who don’t give up…like Kari. 😉 Jack

It is amazing how many of us (and I include myself in this group) spend (read that as waste) time mentally exploring or wishing for some option to the situation that we find ourselves in at the moment. In my last post I implored people to never stop dreaming; however, dreaming is different from the denial that leads to regrets or wishing that things were different.  Dreaming is about things in the future, while most time spent looking for options to the present are about the past – past decisions, past relationships, past mistakes that cannot be undone.

In truth there are no other options. The catch phrase, “It is what it is” best explains the situation. Mulling what might have been traps us in the past. As Jack wrote, “But when you have no other option, you do what you can do.”  Accepting what is allows us to move on to what yet may be.

Most of us will never face a situation like Kari Miller or anywhere near as drastic a change in our lives as she faced. Kari could have spent the rest of her life wallowing in self-pity or anger; however, she chose to do what she could. How do you handle the curve balls that life sometimes throws at you?

Do you spend your days thinking about what might have been different had you only made a different decision or chosen a different path? Do regret and remorse rule your life? Are you stuck in Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda land? How’s that working out for you?  Isn’t it time for a change?  

Here’s a way to start “A new way forward”, to steal a campaign phrase from Vice President Kamala Harris.  A key is to put things in perspective and put the past where it belongs – in the past. One way to help do that is to write down the bad thing or things that you have been hung up on. Then, fold up that paper and put it in an envelop and label the envelope “The Past”. Put that envelop in a drawer and walk away from it.

Now that you have put the past behind you, you can focus on your future and doing what you can do. You may be surprised how much that is and how much happier you will feel once you start doing it. You may not realize it at the time, but an important thing that just happened is that you stopped blaming yourself and beating yourself up for what happened in the past.

To help you with the future it is important that you let go of the thought that you can control it. You will be able to react to it (hopefully in a better way than in the past), but you cannot control it. I have found that, for me, the little prayer “Not my will, but thy will be done” allows me t let go of the pressure of the false belief that I can somehow control the future.

There really is no other option. So, let go and accept what has happened, acknowledge that it is in the past, and focus upon doing your best in the future.