Two quotes from recent posts to the Jack’s Winning Words blog seem to go together –
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.” (Margaret Mead)
-and-
“Everyone has a story. Every story matters.” (Nicole Wedemeyer Miller)
If everyone is unique and has a story, then it follows that every story is unique. That is one of the values that we all gain from diversity in our society; and, that matters. That we don’t take time to listen to every story or to try to understand the unique perspective from which they come is our loss.
The knee-jerk reaction from #POTUS to the recent terrorist act in New York was to state that he would try to end the Diversity Visa Program that was put in place a few years back by the Obama administration to encourage diversity in migration to the U.S. from
underrepresented countries around the world. What a shame it would be to limit our experience of the different contributions to our society that could come out of that program.
The term diversity is a broad umbrella which embraces differences in ethnicity, life style, sexual preference, gender and many other things that can go into making each individual unique. To wall off any one of those things and prevent people who possess that characteristic from interacting with our society would be a loss. That loss comes out of the denial to experience and react to those differences. It is the same as saying that we will only allow certain kinds of 
music to be played or certain types of art to be displayed. We become the poorer by restrictions limiting or censoring our experiences. In many countries experiencing the truth is limited by government censorship and in some, such as North Korea, reality itself gets distorted.
So, the take-away is that we should embrace diversity in our society and try to learn from the differences that we encounter in the unique people that we meet. We need to substitute wonder and understanding for the fear and loathing that too often drive us away from those who are “different.” We need to approach our interactions with those who are different from us with the goal of learning and understanding, rather than avoiding, judging or condemning.
It may well be that you will find the point of view of someone else to be something that you cannot understand and certainly don’t accept; but, at least, you will then better understand why and how they may act about things. Understanding the other person’s point of view will help you choose the best way to react to them. Perhaps, just by trying to understand them better, you will engage in a dialogue that slightly changes both of you and brings you both closer to some common ground.
It is important when engaging with others who have very different points of view to keep in mind another saying that was posted to Jack’s blog recently –
“I don’t have to be wrong for you to be right.” (Sent by Don Sunshine)
The opposite is also true; that the other person doesn’t have to be wrong, either. It is the tendency to stand on the supposedly high moral ground of saying “I’m right and you’re wrong” that continues to cause many of the problems that we have in our society today. 
Yes, black lives matter; and yes, all lives matter. So where is the real conflict there? Which side is excluding the other? I don’t have to be wrong for you to be right.
So, let us as a nation continue to welcome unique people and their stories. Let us try to learn from them. Let us find ways to integrate the value that they bring with them to our common good. We are the richer as a nation because we have always welcomed the poor of the world. I can’t wait to hear the next story.
Posted by Norm Werner 
accept them for who they are without prejudice. As a test, imagine that two girls walk into a room where you are. One looks “normal” and the other is sporting a nose ring and purple lips. What is your immediate reaction to them? Did you jump to a conclusion (a judgement) right away about the girl with the nose ring? I wonder what she thought about me if she saw an old dude standing there gawking at her.
precipitated the poor decision that led to that act. Was it caused by desperate hunger or maybe even overwhelming fear? Was it caused by the need to feed and addiction and what was the root cause of that addition? Is the behavior driven by a condition or illness that we just don’t understand? After all, how does one put oneself into the shoes of a person on the autism spectrum and see things as they see them?
making those snap judgments that many do, just based upon appearance or mannerisms. It takes a discipline that I have yet to master to prevent that from happening and to be able to think and accept, before rushing to judgement. I’m still working on that.
same time, I read week after week about doctors and other health care “professionals” being prosecuted for fraud that saps millions from the healthcare system and about drug costs that have gone through the roof due to a broken healthcare payments system.
Bible and the teachings of Jesus; yet they arrive at dramatically different perspectives on life and in the decisions that they make. It seems to me that at its core the two points of view can be expressed as “leave me alone” and “let me help you”. At the one extreme is anarchy and at the other socialism. Of course, neither will ever be achieved, but those end goals seem to drive the participants’ behavior.
try to stop and think before we react. Some and try to see, and perhaps understand a little, that the other person has a different perspective on the situation than we do. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just different from our view of things and we need to acknowledge that difference and factor that different point-of-view into our reaction to things. You may never be able to figure it out, but you can factor it in. That is a step in the right direction and may even give you a different perspective on things.
orientation/preference diversity. One thing that all of these courses had in common is the us vs. them mentality with which they approach the topic. It is always taught from the perspective that we (the us in the equation) don’t understand and appreciate the other group’s life experiences and thus don’t understand their lifestyle or their perspective on life. There is certainly truth in that statement, but I always wondered why it had to start from us vs. them and not to find a way to start with just “us” as a whole, as humans, and go from there.
“they” are in whatever minority that the course is focused upon. Current demographic trends will soon make that statement false. Most of these courses try to teach the attendees how to “value differences”, which is to say how to accept and embrace those differences as good things and not just odd things. Companies that have truly embraced diversity have prospered and people who individually embrace diversity will do better, too. Why? Because their lives will be richer because of understanding, experiencing and assimilating those differences into their own lives. Understanding and embracing differences also serves to remove the unwarranted fears that the unknown always brings with it.
Don’t panic. They aren’t likely to ask you to do something illegal or totally out of character for you; but, they may challenge you to stretch your comfort zone a bit, so that you can share an experience from their perspective or their culture. Go for it on the things that you can and be polite when declining the ones that you just can’t bring yourself to try. My wife and I never could quite convince ourselves to try the wonderful fish heads that a Jamaican friend of mine years ago wanted us to try. Sometimes I wish I had at least tried it.
of diversity starts with the perspective that we are all humans just trying to make it through life the best way that we can. While some travel paths that are more difficult than others, we all end up at the end of the line in the same place.
garded as America’s finest hour when the goodness that is in people found a common cause in the fight for what is right and just and compassionate in the battle against the insensitivity and the self-serving, closed-mindedness of the current political regime in our nation’s capital. Have no doubt about it, this is not a one-man problem, but a systemic assault being waged on the very values that the country was founded upon by a group of frightened politicians who are fighting the inevitable tide of change and diversity that the country is undergoing.
nation out of the morass that is now finds itself in. I don’t know who that will be, but I would not be surprised if it another strong woman. It is well past time for that to happen and perhaps the country has never needed the difference in approach to governing that a woman could bring to bear than now (or four years from now).
nical mechanics of the last election were such that they allowed the minority to win. That can and will be overcome with the proper effort and commitment on the part of the majority. There is absolutely no need for this to be anything more than a short–term anomaly for our country and perhaps a one-term Presidency.
campaigning for their candidate started. They had several much better choices at the beginning, but those candidates allowed themselves to be bullied out of the way. The Democratic Party seemed to believe that it was entitled to win and chose a candidate that allowed herself to believe that, too. After all, how could she lose to that Republican candidate? The Democrats discarded the only candidate that might have defeated that Republican’s choice when they conspired to block the one candidate who was not beholding to the party elite. What a hoot that Presidential campaign would have been to witness.
howed us how effective having a majority in Congress can be to blocking everything that the President wants to do. It’s the game that both parties would rather play than focusing on getting the people’s work done. You have two years to be ready to effect change. Don’t waste that time lamenting what went wrong this year, focus on what you can help go right the next time and the time after that. It all starts with me. That’s what good can come out of this.
article upon the tendency in business to recommend (even demand) that women act more like the men in the business, in order to be successful and to be taken seriously. She makes a good case that diversity of thoughts and opinions, in this case letting women be women in business, makes more sense and leads to better decision making.
people like themselves. Many social clubs and churches are good examples of that tendency in practice. The same stagnation and self-serving, if wrongheaded, decision making that Krawcheck says can occur in businesses because of a lack of diversity also sets in at those more or less homogeneous clubs and churches over time. Due to the changing demographics in the general population, these insular organizations eventually wither and die, due to the inability to attract enough people “just like us” to sustain the organization. More successful organizations embrace diversity and thrive because of the wider pool of potential members that comes along with diversity.
can be perceived as threats to our own view of things. We see the admission that someone else’s’ opinion about something being accepted as “right” must mean that our opinion is “wrong”. A more correct way to look at things is that both opinions or points of view have merit and should both be taken into account when making decisions. In business, to do any less is potentially to immediately discount an entire segment of the population and possibly to lose them as customers. In life, to do so is to ignore some solutions or answers and to limit the possible solutions to a problem. You may even discover that having the insight of another person’s point of view (especially someone not like you) will lead you to the conclusion that something that you saw as a threat or problem was not a problem at all, but rather an opportunity for you to grow as a person.
building a good team (at work) or support group (in life) can be thought of like building a good basketball team. In her words – “it’s hard to build a national championship team if your players are all point guards.” The same is true of the teams that you might be on at work. You need different skills and different points of view in order to make good decisions. I life you need a diverse set of friends around you as a support group for your life decisions and crises.
Pivoting is the term de jure in business and political vernacular this year. Literally it is used to mean making a change in direction or opinion about something, but is used to make the speaker seem somehow more businesslike or serious. In politics pivoting allows a candidate to change directions without seeming to be wishy-washy on something. The candidate can say that, “I didn’t change my mind on that, I pivoted.” Whatever, it is still a change of direction or mind.
events that are happening, rather than being labeled as old fashion or accused of fighting a rear guard action against the inevitable demographic changes that are happening in our society. They have realized that they can join the movement or be by-passed by it, if they are hunkered down in their foxholes trying to resist the changes. In U.S. politics those foxhole resisters are the ones gerrymandering political districts to try to avoid being overrun by the demographic changes. Those “safe districts” are their foxholes and they are hunkered down in them.
Events around the world and the massive movement of people throughout the world constantly force the reexamination of the characterization of people using the terms “Us” and “Them”. More and more of “Them” are joining the ranks of “Us”, such that the “Us” population is rapidly growing while the “Them” population is becoming smaller and less relevant. The sooner we get to an understanding that it all of “Us” that have to learn to live together the better.
the word inclusiveness; but, also to start living inclusive lives. Just keep an eye out for the foxholes dwellers. There are some really frightened and angry people living in those holes. The challenge for Us is to figure out a way, not to by-pass Them, but to include them, too. Sometimes it ain’t easy being inclusive, but in all times that is better than the alternative. Let’s keep expanding “Us” until there is no more “Them”.
comfort zone, building walls to keep others out. The trouble is that those same walls keep you held in; you become trapped in who you are and never get to explore who you could be, if only you tried some new things. Your comfort zone becomes your personal prison.
with a great variety of people. Choosing to live life with few, if any, close friends is like sitting down with a coloring book and having only one or two crayons. It can get pretty dull pretty quick and you can lose interest. Making friends and understanding their different points of view fills you crayon box with many colors and makes the pictures that you do much more interesting.
do that is to try to meet someone new each day. Each new person that you meet adds a new crayon to your box and allows you to add a new shade or color to your life story.
or after work. Try something new, a different route to or from work or maybe a stop on the way to or from work that we don’t normally make. Maybe you can try something completely different on a weekend; go someplace that you’ve never been or try a new activity that you’ve never tried. You don’t have to go out and try sky diving, but maybe something as simple as going to a sports event that you’ve never been to or actually participating in a sport that you’ve never tried.
become more than you were then because you did something that you didn’t know that you could do. And, unless this all happens on a desert island, you will also find that you now know more people than you’ve ever known, because you put yourself out there where they were, too.
constitutional amendment to the Michigan Constitution that would protect the GLBT community from discrimination. Patterson is a well-known Republican conservative, but has also recognized the ugliness and hate that comes with discrimination. He is basically saying – respect other people’s way of living.
general. Our modern day pharisees are the moralizing, so-called Christian evangelicals who seem to spend more time criticizing the lives of others than putting their own lives in order. Like the high priests and pharisees of old, these modern day pharisees are sure that they occupy the moral high-ground and that their way is the only right way to live. And like those hypocrites of old, they try to take actions to correct or discriminate against those who choose to live differently. In modern times this holier-than-thou group uses political power to try to legitimize their discrimination through laws (or lack of laws) aimed at those who are “different.” They wrap themselves in a false morality that does not – respect other people’s way of living.
people who were immigrants escaping religious persecution due to the fact they the religion that they practiced at the time was different from the prevailing religion in England and Europe. It is convenient also to forget about the threat that their immigration to America posed to the Native Americans who were already here. They essentially took the country from those who owned it at the time. Imagine if the Native Americans had enacted a law stopping the flow of these refugees from religious persecution from entering America because they posed a threat. Maybe that would have solved everything. The early settlers obviously did not – respect other people’s way of living.
responsibility, much less worrying about how others live. We need to focus less on others and more on doing the right things ourselves to make sure that we aren’t becoming modern day pharisees and discriminating against those with lives that are different from ours. So, as we begin a new week maybe, before we leave the house today we can resolve to – respect other people’s way of living.
As young children we tend to use the whole box of crayons and we don’t worry all that much about staying within the lines either. We just experience life as it comes, without prejudices or pre-conceived notions. As we get older, “adults” around us start “explaining” things to us. They give us the rules that they say we should live by. They start taking away some of our crayons. As they work to make us “safer”, things can begin to get a bit duller. There are fewer crayon colors and they are less vibrant. As time goes on, and as we add more and more rules to our lives. Things can become more shades of gray than vibrant colors. For a few, things even lose the shades and everything becomes black and white.
lack of understanding, there grows confusion and eventually fear.
decide to throw away the crayons of people who look and talk like them, but who have a different lifestyle or perhaps just a difference of religion or even politics – the picture just got even grayer. Finally they decide that things really can be defined only as right or wrong by their standards; that there is no need for shades of gray; that everything can be colored as black and white.
ethnic restaurant visit. There is art and music, literature and language, traditions and customs that all use different crayons to render life in new colors. So get out of your grey zone of comfort; break out the crayon box and use all of the colors. What you’ll discover is a beautiful rainbow of experiences and a more colorful and satisfying life.
NormsMilfordBlog 