NormsMilfordBlog

“When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.”  (Gordon Atkinson) – as seen on the blog Jack’s Winning Words.

My wife and I have been married for 49 years (yes – next year is the Golden biggie) and I take this little saying to heart, because there are still things that I don’t understand about her, but I love her and I trust her.

Do you have someone whom you trust but don’t always understand? I suspect that we all do. It is in the nature of humans that they always hold something back to themselves, something that maybe others don’t understand, even those close to them. The trick here is getting to that acceptance part where it becomes OK with you not to understand some things about them.  In fact, the real trick may be getting to where you don’t worry at all about not understanding, you just accept them as they are.

Getting to that level of acceptance of another person’s quirks or point of view on things isn’t easy, because we are always comparing their behavior to how we would act or react in the same situation. We ask ourselves why they aren’t concerned about or afraid of the same things that we are. We may think, “How can they live like that?” Maybe we should be asking instead, “Why can’t I live like that?” But, if you really trust that other person; you have to get comfortable with the fact that you will likely never understand their point of view on things and just learn to accept it.

The misunderstandings that we have about people are often the source of the friction that causes problems in relationships, either friendships or more serious personal relationships. If you look at things by  acknowledging that you just don’t understand their point of view and will probably never understand it from your own perspective, you are at least started on the journey to just accepting them as they are and getting on with life. Another little saying by Steve Jobs may help with that…

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

So, get on with your own life. Focus on loving those that you trust, instead of worrying about why they are the way they are or think the way that they think. They are busy living their lives and probably don’t really need your help with that. Have a great rest of the week, freed from the need to understand everything about those that you love and trust.