Look for God’s beacon…

December 11, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 12/11/23 – posts made to his blog by the late Pastor Jack Freed, now being reposted by his son.

“A candle of God’s goodness can serve as a beacon of hope for those navigating dark passages of their lives.” (Hanukkah Quote) One thing that Hanukkah and Christmas have in common is a message of HOPE. God’s goodness is always with us…told by the menorah’s nine candles, or the one Christmas Star. As we traipse the dark passages of life, let’s not forget that God is with us. In the darkest hours, seen or unseen, our Hope is that God goes with us. 😉  Jack 
 
Originally sent December 10, 2020.

We may think of those going through dark times in their lives and hope that God is with them; however, there are quite often others with them that we seldom stop to think about. They are the ones who

provide support and comfort to those involved in life’s darker moments.. They are the first responders who arrive at scenes of chaos, accidents, tragedies or pain and loss They include the healthcare workers who are involved at the hospitals or those who must visit the homes or bedsides to offer support or condolences.  We do not spend much time thinking about the impact on their lives made by the things they must deal with daily, yet that impact can be profound. Those are dark passages.

 When you really stop to think about it, it’s not hard to understand why these people may be impacted. They are, after all, people who care enough to want to help and they are often involved in an extremely hard time for those they are helping. Some of the pain, sadness, anguish or sorrow cannot help but rub off on them, too. Their empathy is a conduit for sharing those feelings and it is impossible for it not to have an impact. Those are dark passages.

I certainly include in this group the priests and pastors who try to bring spiritual strength to people in situations when it an seems like God has abandoned them. How terribly difficult it must be to assure the parents or loved one’s of the victims of a mass shooting that God is with them. How hard it must be after the loss of a spouse to try to comfort and reassure the grieving survivor. How it must tear at the soul of even the most devout to preside over the funeral of a young life cut short by drugs or violence or suicide. Those are dark passages.

Yet, through all of our dark passages, if we but turn to God, his goodness will shine as a beacon and the light will show us the way out of the darkness. Seeking God’s help doesn’t have to be something elaborate, just something sincere. In my personal times of darkness, I have turned to the simple prayer, “Not my will, but thy will be done.” Try it and let God’s beacon of hope show you the way out of those dark passages.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What will you deliver?

December 4, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words – reprises of post made by the late Pastor Jack Freed
“Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what you say or do, but how you make people feel that matters the most.” (Tony Hsieh – Former CEO of Zappos) Tony was a multi-millionaire businessman who died tragically in a house fire at age 46. He was living proof that you could be successful and a good human being, too. His business mantra was, “I want to deliver happiness.” It’s a good mantra for any of us as we go through life. 😉 Jack
 
Originally sent December 9, 2020.

Whether we are aware of it or not, every encounter with someone else makes some kind of impression and affects their day in some way. We aren’t aware of it. We don’t think about it. Maybe we don’t care about it. But maybe we should. What will you deliver?

Very few people ae aware of what their normal, “at rest” mien looks like, or maybe even what the word mien means –

 Mien – noun

  1. a person’s look or manner, especially one of a particular kind indicating their character or mood.

Our “at rest” mien is the look that the world sees when we really aren’t trying to give any look at all. Most of the time we walk around with our at rest mien on our faces. What we don’t realize is that this look might convey to others that we are unhappy or sad or maybe even mad. A face at rest tends to droop and may even droop into a frown. The people that you encounter aren’t aware that you may be completely neutral in your feelings; they just see a frown on your face assume that you ae unhappy or having a bad day. You are not delivering happiness. Quite the opposite. What will you deliver?

So, what is one to do? It is hard to keep a smile on your face all the time. Perhaps, instead, if you adopt the attitude that every encounter is an opportunity to give and to receive happiness your mien will automatically adjust to the situation. What will you deliver?

Start by deciding to give the happiness of a smile and a greeting to everyone that you meet. Greeting someone that you don’t even know shows them that you are interested in them and friendly. A greeting made to someone almost always gets a response and that exchange alone can cause a smile or pleasant look to come to your face, too. What will you deliver?

Resolve this morning to go through the day more aware of the encounters with others that will occur and more conscious of what they will see and experience from you because of those encounters. Try to imagine the impact that meeting your will have on them and their day. Did they pass by a grumpy old man (or woman) who did not acknowledge them, or did they encounter a friendly, smiling person who greeted them and made their day a little better? What will you deliver today?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Throw something back…

November 28, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 11/27/23

Maya Angelou

“You can’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.”  (Maya Angelou)  Giving Tuesday is today, a reaction to Black Friday and Cyber Monday. As we spend for holiday giving, let’s not forget the charity needs around us.  😉 Jack

 Originally sent December 1, 2020. These posts reprise the work of Pastor Jack Freed.

There really shouldn’t be a need for a Giving Tuesday, but I suppose it does serve to give people pause in this season of excess to think about those in need. Maybe we can assuage whatever sense of guilt we have about our excess by throwing a buck or two into a red kettle. Perhaps it makes us feel good about ourselves (however temporarily) because we emptied our pocket of change to give to some cause or person. But are these acts really throwing something back or just covering over our feelings of guilt?

There is a convenient comfort in thinking that just throwing money at the problems is the answer. That seems to be the approach that many so-called Liberal politicians have to the problems of poverty and disadvantage in America. At least it is better than the approach of the so-call Conservatives which is to say, “I got mine, you get a job and get your own.” Both approaches turn a blind eye to the underlying causes and offer no long-term solutions.

So, what can we throw back to really help solve the problems that cause poverty and disadvantage. The answer may be based more on the Conservatives call for work over charity; however, their “solution” stops there without offering supporting programs of education and training to help put people to work. For too many it is easier to budget for places to lock people up than it is for places to educate and train people. Our society cannot just stand piously saying, “Get a job”, without providing some support for job training and placement.

On an individual level what we can throw back may be an opportunity for some disserving, but disadvantaged person. Most of the time that help starts by just taking the time to listen to them. By understanding how they go where they are you can more easily formulate a plan of assistance to get them where they need to be to get back on their feet. Just the fact that you probably have access to the Internet, and they might not, equips you to help them.

Some get swept up in vicious cycles involving drugs or alcohol and a key to breaking those cycles is found in intervention and rehabilitation programs. That person may have the necessary education or skills to succeed, if only they can break out of that drug or alcohol cycle that has kept them a prisoner for some time. Your throw back in those cases might be to direct them to such programs (use the Internet for that, too) and to support and encourage them as they progress through the program.

The important point of all of this is that you should be more than just a taker in life.  You can and should throw something back. What will you do to throw something back?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Give the gift of being there…

November 22, 2023

As we enter the 2023 Holiday Season it is easy to become so swept up in the celebrating and shopping and decorating that we lose awareness of those around us and we may miss the signs that all is not right with them. Statistically we are told by experts that 1 in 5 Americans will suffer some form and level of mental illness, with the Holiday Season being one of the worst seasons. Be there for them.

Why is that? A big reason is all of the stress that comes out of the expectations for the Holidays. Another might be the sadness that comes from a first holiday after a loved one has passed away. Yet another might be the increased feelings of loneliness that the extended time away from work or at least away from your normal routine can bring on depression. Be there for them.

There are all sorts of good articles online about depression and the holidays and I encourage you to read a few. Most of them will have some advice for helping those who might be suffering depression during the holidays. Boiling down that advice, the most basic way you can help is to be there. Be there to listen. Be there to show them that someone cares about them. Be there to have a good cry with them. Be there to just hold their hand in silence. There is no substitute for being there. No cute text message or Tic Tock post will work. Be there for them.

In order to be there for them you first have to recognize that there is a problem. Many of the articles that are online have lists of things to watch for, such as mood changes, withdrawal, anger and frustration. You may not see any of those signs if you aren’t paying attention. People who need your help are unlikely come up and tap your shoulder and say, “I need your help”. They are much more likely to respond to your inquiry about how they are doing with, “I’m OK.” So, it’s good to read about what the signs are that someone needs your help, but it is better to be actively looking for those signs, especially the non-verbal signs. Be there for them.

The worst thing that you can do would be to say to someone that you see is in need, “Suck it up” or maybe “Put on your big girl panties”. It’s a waste to say, “things will be alright” or “things will get better” without taking time to understand their frame of mind and showing that you care about them. Be there for them.

As we head towards Christmas with endless Back Friday sales and thoughts of the gifts that we might give, keep in mind that the greatest gift that you can give anyone is the gift of your time. Refocus yourself from the glitz and glamor of the stores and TV ads and look around for those who really need that gift more than anything else. Be there for them.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Use the change to make a fresh start…

November 21, 2023

The graphic today, like so many this time of year, focuses upon change and challenges us to make changes in our lives to achieve a new beginning.

Making a fresh start does not have to mean abandoning everything in your life to start anew. It does, however, mean making some meaningful changes in your attitude as well as your daily routines. It is important that these be conscious decisions made out of the understanding that the old direction of your life was not taking you where you want to be.

Making a fresh start may mean having to increase your education level or learning new skills. It may mean not only changing your job but pursuing an entirely new career. It may mean leaving old relationships behind, especially if they were toxic and holding you back. It almost always means venturing into unknown territory. Because of that change will be a little bit scary, but it will also be exciting.

There is a tendency in many to understand that change is happening all around them and to decide to just “go with the flow” and allow those changes to dictate the direction of their life. They are like people floating down a river on an innertube, satisfied to let the river decide where they will end up. Others actively resist the flow of change, becoming luddites, resisting the changes of technology and modernization. Still others get swept up by the change, sort of like being caught in a tsunami wave, and are carried along to change. That often happens when entire industries or industry segments become obsolete and are replaced by new industries.

What is inevitable for all is that changes in our lives will happen. How we react to those changes, or the opportunities for change, is up to us. Deciding to use those changes to make a fresh start may be just one choice, but it would seem to be the best choice. That means seeing change not as a threat but as an opportunity. How do you see the changes that are taking place in your life?

Make a fresh start.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Lighten up and learn…

November 20, 2023
The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 11/20/23 –  Originally sent November 20, 2020.
“We are not what other people say we are. We are who we know ourselves to be. That’s OK.” (Transgender Slogan) We honor transgender individuals on November 20, and remember the murder of Rita Hester in 1998. Societal change has allowed me to meet and to have friends from the LGBTQ community. I’ve learned from them and had my life enriched by them. We’re all different in our own way, and each of us knows ourselves as we are, not as others say we are.  That’s OK! Today is TDOR! 😉 Jack
From the collection of posts that Pastor Jack Freed made over his lifetime.

If you didn’t know what the TDOR is in Jack’s post – The Transgender Day of Remembrance, also known as the International Transgender Day of Remembrance, has been observed annually on November 20 as a day to memorialize those who have been murdered as a result of transphobia.

As with all phobias, transphobia is about fear. Those who don’t understand (or even try to understand) someone who is different from them most often react in fear. We see this every day and it is reported every night on the TV news is some form. Currently the anti-Semitic and anti—Islamic phobias are front and center in the news; however, the fear and hate of the entire LBGTQ community is never far from the top of the list and drives too many headlines of violence in the news.

Jack had the right attitude, one of learning from people who are different in some way from yourself. People from different ethnic backgrounds or who live their lives on a different path from what we consider to be “normal” bring different perspectives and experiences to things. Not every difference is one that we can embrace or emulate; however, every difference is something from which we can learn and those learning experiences will enrichen your life, too.

Perhaps the key is to first understand that those differences are not like some infectious disease. You can’t “catch” transgender or being gay or lesbian. It will not “rub off” on you, nor are members of the LBGTQ community out to steal and convert all of our children. They simply want to be accepted for who they are and be treated with the same respect as you might treat others. If you can get your head to that level of acceptance neutrality, the next step into learning from your interactions will be easier.

November 20 is one day of remembrance of the result of ignorance, fear and hate towards those who identify differently than their biological gender at birth. Use it also to resolve not to let fear, ignorance and hate rule your life when it comes to accepting and interacting with transgender people. Lighten up and learn.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Dive in and be happy…

November 14, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 11/13/23
“I’ve made up my mind to never have another bad day in my life. I dove into an endless sea of gratitude from which I’ve never emerged.” (Patch Adams) Patch is a physician and clown, dedicated to bringing humor to hospital patients (children and adults) around the world, His is an alternative form of healthcare not covered by insurance. He believes that “bad days” are often caused by looking at the world in the wrong way. If you’re having a bad day, try looking through the lens of gratitude. 😉  Jack

Originally sent August 18, 2020.

Patch Adams is both a real person and was a 1998 movie by the same name, staring Robin Williams as Adams. Patch Adams is best known for his work as a medical doctor and a clown, but he is also a social activist who has devoted over 40 years of his life to changing America’s healthcare system. He believes that laughter, joy and creativity are an integral part of the healing process and, with the help of friends, he founded the Gesundheit Institute in 1971 in order to address all the problems of health care in one model.

It’s not as hard as you may initially think to take the advice that Patch Adams offered, if you make it a habit to wake up each day and find something for which to be grateful; be it just being alive for another day or something else. As I get older, the just being alive for another day thing takes on more meaning and provides a reason to be grateful.

There will always be days when things are not going the way that you had hoped they would. Those don’t have to be “bad” days. They are, after all, days in which you will experience something new and hopefully learn from the experience. Phrases like “It keeps you on your toes” or “That’s what makes life interesting” come to mind.

How the day goes for you – good or bad – is greatly impacted by the frame of mind in which you start the day. Adams has resolved to be grateful at the star of each day and that has allowed him to find happiness in each day. You can find happiness, too.

Adams never mentions faith, but I would be willing to bet that at the heart of his approach to life there is a strong faith. Just looking for someone or something to express your gratitude for another day will inevitably lead to thanking God. Once you are in that frame of mind with God, you are off to a great start on what will be another great day.

So, take the advice of Patch Adams and start each day with an attitude of gratitude and see if that doesn’t change your life. Dive in to the endless sea of gratitude and be happy.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Help my unbelief…

November 9, 2023

The Best of Jack’s Winning Words 10/30/23
“Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you. P.S. If you are a fake, don’t tell me.  I don’t want to know.”  (Linus writing to The Great Pumpkin) Cartoonist Charles Schulz never hid the fact that he was a church member, and some of his Peanuts comic strips showed that. Just because someone is a church member doesn’t mean that they don’t sometimes doubt their faith. One time a father brought his son to Jesus for healing. Jesus asked him if he believed, and he responded, “I believe. Help my unbelief.”  What Linus says to The Great Pumpkin could be rephrased to, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” Faith, whether in a religious context or not, isn’t the absence of doubt,!  -)  Jack
 
Originally sent October 26, 2022.

Aa I have gotten older I have become better at keeping separate my faith from my religion. I go to church most weeks and sit there with others who are there seeking help with their unbelief. We all believe, but we all need help with our unbelief.

One thing that age does is give you the time to ponder the alternatives to belief in God and they all end up leading you down the same blind alley with nothing at the end – no answers and no viable alternatives. There is God or there is nothing and nothing is a sad and scary thing to conclude indeed.

Faith is based upon hope and without faith there is no hope, and that is a dead end. Faith allows us to believe that death is not the end. A good deal of mankind’s development of religions is devoted to descriptions (some quite elaborate) of the hereafter, based entirely on man’s limited imagination. I find some comfort in believing that what comes next is much more than we can imagine.

In times of great suffering, pain, or sorrow, those with a strong faith find comfort in it. It is also a time when one’s unbelief can cause them to question why God would allow such pain to happen or even to question whether God exists at all. It is in those times when the words of Mark 9:24 ring the truest – “I believe; help my unbelief.” 

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Posted by Norm Werner

Make opportunities happen today….

November 1, 2023

I like today’s graphic because it forces the issue of being proactive.

I know too many people who seem to be waiting for opportunities to come to them. They are usually not happy people and may be frustrated people. They are almost always very passive people – people who don’t speak unless spoken to and who never extend their hand first when greeting others. I’ll bet that you know some people like that, too.

The interactions that we have with others always presents opportunities – opportunities to learn and to make new friends. Those opportunities never come to those who choose not to interact,, usually out of fear.

Other opportunities may present themselves if one just ventures out in the world, perhaps the opportunity to experience something new and exciting. Yet there are those who out of fear of harm or the fear of failure hunker down in their homes and seldom venture out. They exchange the passive role of observer, perhaps through the use of television or the internet, for that of participant. Opportunity seldom knocks through the TV or PC screen.

So, what are you to do to create opportunities? The simplest answer is the old phrase, “put yourself out there”, both literally and figuratively.  You cannot score the winning goal or make the sale that gets you the promotion or find your true soulmate for life if you are literally not out there trying. And, being out there but shrinking back from everyone and everything will not bring opportunities either. If you have gotten yourself to the game the next step is to get into the game.

Opportunities for growth, for friendships and even for love are all around you if you but expose yourself to them. Make your opportunities happen. Put yourself out there and put yourself in the game.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Unlock your chains…

October 23, 2023

From the best of Jack’s Winning Words comes this post to the Jack Freed’s blog back in 2020…

“So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”  (The Eagles)  It’s said that the Eagles’ song, Already Gone, has some of the greatest lyrics of all time. It expresses a thought that I’ve found to be true: “Things always work out for the best in the end.” And there’s another truism: “Chains” sometimes keep us from having a better life. The lyrics say that we have the key to a happier life. We don’t have to live in chains. 😉  Jack

What are the “Chains” that keep us from a better life? They are the chains of ignorance, fear, hatred, prejudice and bigotry. While many of them may be handed to us by others – parents or friends – they are things that we wrap around ourselves and allow them to control our actions.

It may not be easy to unlock those chains. Some are deeply ingrained in us. Yet each is a chain that holds us back; that prevents us from really enjoying a happy life. None of them is positive or additive to our lives. They are all negative and serve only to bring us down.

Perhaps the “key” that the song alludes to, which will unlock those chains and set us free is love. Love opens the way to understanding, to acceptance and to forgiveness. But, before you can love others, you must love yourself.  I have posted here in the past about the need to love yourself before you can love others (see https://normsmilfordblog.com/2023/01/18/love-yourself-first/)

Loving yourself allows you to forgive yourself and that loosens many chains and allows them to fall away. You have the key to getting rid of your chains. Use it. Free yourself. Allow yourself to love and to be loved.

If you need a little help using the key, there is a locksmith named Jesus whom you can call upon, no matter how many chains weigh you down. Call upon Him for help and you will feel the weight of those chains slipping away.

Unlock your chains…

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Posted by Norm Werner

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