Keep having new dreams…

July 25, 2023

As they get older many people slow down and that’s quite natural. We may shift from tennis to Pickleball or find that we must now take a cart when playing a round of golf. We adjust to the decline that occurs in our bodies, even if we don’t “feel old” in our minds. That includes adjusting our dreams and goals to better align with our physical abilities. The important thing is to continue to have dreams and goals as we age. Sitting in a rocking chair on the porch is nice relaxation, but it is not (or should not be) a goal.

Many people, having reached retirement age turn the pursue of a hobby or pastime into a goal. For many, finally having the time to sit and read has been a goal for some time and now it is within reach. For some being able to devote more time to a sport like golf or Pickleball is the fulfillment of a dream. Finally getting the time to travel is a dream come true for many.

The point is that getting older is not a time to withdraw from life and just sit around waiting for the end. It is a time to have new dreams and goals; dreams and goals for which you finally have the time to pursue. Sometimes those dreams involve achieving person goals or maybe reliving an earlier success in life. Yuichiro Miura is the oldest person in the world to ever climb to the summit of Mount Everest at the age of 80. He first set the record in 2003 at the age of 70, but reclaimed the record – after other people had beaten it – when he was 80 years old in 2013. He was not too old to dream and have goals.

Admittedly, most of us will have slightly less ambitious dreams and goals than Mr. Miura had. It could involve things like going back to school to get that diploma or degree that you didn’t have time for earlier in life. Maybe it means taking up that hobby or pursuit that you abandoned years ago out of the necessity to earn a living. It could involve reestablishing contact with long lost friends. Things like learning a new language or learning to play an instrument are hard at any age but possible at all ages. If you have thoughts like, “I always want to see this”, or “I always wanted to do this” or maybe “I always wanted to be this”; then make “this” your goal.

You are not too old to have new dreams. You are old enough not to let the “coulda, woulda, shoulda’s” of life hold you prisoner.

Put yourself in the Nike frame of mind and “Just Do it”.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where you are focused matters…

July 24, 2023

Looking up helps…

The graphic for today’s post is one of those dramatic inspirational shots of someone reaching for the stars. While reaching for the stars may be a metaphor for having high goals, it does cause oner to think about focusing upon bigger and bolder goals in life. 

Too often we are focused on short term, very prosaic goals that are just above the survival level. That might be represented by a graphic like this one…looking at our shoes. You can’t even se the higher goals, much less reach for them, if you spend your time looking down and being down all the time.

I have posted here many times about one big reason that keeps us focused upon the wrong things – our inability to let go of things that have already happened or which may happen in the future. It is our need to somehow control things which are out of our control that keeps us focused upon our shoes instead of looking towards the stars and higher goals. One must be able to put the past behind them and accept that they cannot change things that have already happened. They can only change how they react to those happenings. And one may spend some amount of time considering alternative courses of action for the future; but, worrying excessively about things that might happen is just a waste of time and energy. Those are bridges yet uncrossed in directions that likely will not be taken.

Rather than spend your time and mental energy trying to imagine and prepare for all of the worst things that could happen, instead spend that time breaking down the path to your goal into small, achievable steps and preparing for the first step. Once you get started you will find that the momentum that you build will keep you going.

So, go ahead and reach for that new height, that new goal; by focusing upon taking the first step, rather than staring at your shoes and thinking of all the reasons that you should stand still. Have a great day and a great week ahead. You are on your way to new heights.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Explore your local area with a staycation…

July 19, 2023

Many, if not most, people have never really explored the area that they live in. That may be the immediately surrounding area or within some reasonable radius around where you live. We tend to think about traveling to get to place that we might enjoy for a vacation. But, when traveling isn’t practical (or maybe affordable) try exploring the local area. I can almost guarantee that there are places and things that you haven’t seen within minutes of your home.

Just in my little village of Milford, Michigan there are things that most long-term residents have probably never seen or visited. There are three waterfalls within the Village limits. There is an art deco water-powered (no longer in service) powerhouse designed by Albert Khan right next to a wonderful outdoor amphitheater.  There is a little park that was part of the Oakland County Fair grounds when the Fair was held in Milford. There are two local canoe/kayak rental places that will rent you a boat to explore the Huron River, which runs through the Village. By the way, there are three bridges over the Huron River within the Village.

There’s a wonderful Historical Museum with displays of what life was like in Milford when settlers arrived and in the late 19th Century. This year the Milford Historical Museum also features a display of pictures and memorabilia from life in Milford 50 years ago in the 1970’s. There is a log cabin built to show how the first settlers lived. It is in the original Village Square, which is now South Park. Also visit the cute little candy store on Main Street that used to be part of Ye Olde Hotel be fore that was demolished. Also look for the historic Hibbard Tavern, which was a stop on the Pontiac to Howell stagecoach line (hint – it is on Summit Street).

There is a quaint little single screen cinema. There is a wonderful, walkable downtown with cute stores in historic buildings that carry things that you actually need and many great restaurants to choose from for lunch or dinner (here’s a guide to the local restaurants from restaurantsji.com) There is a craft brewery, situated on the banks of the Huron River. There is a hidden gem of a children’s play area in Central Park and several baseball diamonds in different areas of the Village. Oak Grove Cemetery, the oldest cemetery in the Village, contains the final resting place of many of the original settlers, as well as many of our local Civil War and WWI veterans. There are quite a few historical markers around the Village marking places where water-powered mills used to stand.

So, if you have to take a staycation this year, see if you can find all of those places. You might enjoy the exploring and see even more things of interest.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Overcome today’s doubts to get to tomorrow…

July 18, 2023

The graphic for today’s post focuses upon doubts that hold us back from realizing our dreams and aspirations for tomorrow. I would add to that graphic the rest of the classic FUD elements (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubts) that are missing.

Fear of the unknown and uncertainty about whether we are even headed in the right direction combine with doubts about our own abilities to do what is needed to realize those dreams often hold us back from even trying. We convince ourselves that it is “better to be safe than sorry.” And then we are sorry that we didn’t even try.

There is a very real chance that the things that you are concerned about or afraid of are real. They are constraints that you are currently under that limit your ability to achieve your goals; however, they are seldom permanent roadblocks. In many cases they just require you to take a detour, like maybe going back to school, in order to obtain some skill or knowledge or certificate/degree that will allow you to advance towards your goals. This is where the attributes of patience and persistence pay off.

It is important during these “detour” times to remind yourself often of the overall goal, when it doesn’t feel like you are making progress towards that goal. It helps if you break down the things that you need to get done before you can resume the pursuit of your goal and reward yourself as you accomplish each step along the way.

Remember that impatience is your key enemy. Anything that is really worth something usually takes a lot of work and a lot of patience. Much of the work may be tedious and repetitive.  Just imagine getting up every morning and doing 2-3 hours of workouts or running, yet that is what Olympic athletes do and they do it for 4 years leading up to their event in the games. That is a real test of patience and persistence.

The doubts that you have today can help you define your plan to achieve your goals for tomorrow by helping you see the things that you need to do in preparation for achieving them. So, don’t let them stop you. Use them to motivate you to create a plan of attack to overcome those roadblocks. Just that act of understanding the issues that you must overcome and planning how you will do it puts you in a whole new frame of mind. You have mentally moved from, “I don’t think I can do this”, to, “Here’s how I’m going to do this.”

I have no doubt that you will achieve your goals for tomorrow.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be happy…enjoy life’s scenery…

July 17, 2023

From the blog The Best of Jack’s Winning Words comes this bit of wisdom – “The truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.”  (Unknown)

We are in the midst of the orange barrel season of road repairs in Michigan, so I get to take lots of detours. I must admit that it may be easier for me to enjoy the scenery on those detours, because I seldom am in that big of a hurry to get somewhere these days. Being retired gives one that luxury.

What Jack wrote about in his blog was being happy with the scenery when life takes you on detours. As he put it “…the unexpected, the forced route changes. Maybe an illness, a job loss, a family problem.” We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. No matter how careful one is, diseases and illnesses can disrupt our lives and force detours. Our interaction with others almost guarantees disagreements on something and further unplanned side trips.

Our culture doesn’t help. Rather than embracing the advice that Jack gave to relax and enjoy the new scenery of a detour in life, we are cajoled to “fight through it”, to take a pill and carry on. Even worse, we have become so cynical as a society that we ignore the posted signs of trouble or danger ahead.

I live on a street that is undergoing major reconstruction. It has signs post a 1/2block away that clearly state that the road is not passible as a through street, yet I see cars all day ling driving around that sign and proceeding until they encounter the large machine or piles of gravel that completely block the road just beyond my driveway. Needless to say, they do not enjoy the scenery as the have to turn around and take the detour.

We tend to be like that as a society…ignoring the warning signs of declining health (both physical and mental) until it is too late or pushing ourselves beyond the limits that our bodies and minds tell us is enough, until we break down. Those breakdowns can be physical or mental, but the result is the same – you reach the point where you can go no further. Some turn around and take the detour, but others get stuck there and fall into depression. They are no only unable to enjoy the scenery of the changes in their life, they are unable to accept and deal with those changes.

Many of the detours that we take in life are self-imposed. They are trips down the rat holes of “what if?” We tend to waste a lot of time exploring the worst cases scenarios that our minds conjure up as we face something new or different or maybe scary. Perhaps if we treated it like we do a lottery ticket the scenery would look better. No one buys a lottery ticket and then spends the next hour thinking about how they will lose. They think (dream) about all of the wonderful things that might be able to do when they win.

One of the side benefits of having faith in one’s life is the ability to offload the fear and anxiety of life’s detours onto God, so that you can relax and enjoy the scenery of that detour. I use the little prayer, “Not my will, but thy will be done” to surrender to God’s will, so that I can focus on the scenery. There are always new things to be seen and understood in any crisis if one is not consumed by anger or fear or the pain of a loss.

So, when life throws a detour your way, check in with God through prayer and get God’s lottery ticket to a better life. You can then relax and enjoy the scenery of that little detour…you’ve got God as your tour guide.

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Posted by Norm Werner

I’m fixin’ to….

July 10, 2023

Wishful thinking may be a pleasant way to kill time, but that’s all it is. Wishing and dreaming actually accomplish nothing. It is in the doing that we get things done and achieve our goals.

There is a big difference between wishing/dreaming and planning. Planning is actually a very important precursor to doing. The planning stage is the time when we take advantage of all of the knowledge that we have accumulated in life to chart out a path to success. We mark the pitfalls that life lessons have taught us, so that we might avoid them this time. We get things organized and break down the big task at hand into smaller, achievable steps and then we prioritize those steps. I often call this the “Fixin’ to” stage, as in “I’m fixin’ to get to that home repair.”

Sometimes this is also the phase in which I become honest with myself and admit that the job is not one that I should even being attempting – it’s time to hire someone to do it. Those times have come more often and I get older and less physically capable.

However, for those jobs that I know that I can still do the next challenge is to exit the “fixin’ to “ stage and actually get started on the doing. That can be hard sometimes, because the “fixin’ to” stage feels a lot more comfortable that actually executing those plans. People seldom break a sweat during the “fixin’ to” stage, unless it is a cold sweat brought about by fear – fear about some part of the task or the fear of failure.

So, just as wishing is not enough to get anything done, so is getting stuck in a never-ending planning stage (the “fixin’ to” stage). I’ll bet that you know someone like that who is always planning to do something but never actually does it. Maybe that someone is you.

Wishing, dreaming and planning are not enough – you must do. So stop “fixin’ to” and start doing. Get it done.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Be happy and be successful…

June 13, 2023

Today’s inspirational picture points out one of life’s great truths.

All too often we get caught up in the trap of thinking, “If only I could do this, I would be happy.” Or maybe we think “if only I had this, I would be happy.”

In reality, those who are happy with what they already have or have already done, are already successful. Rather than constantly striving for something that is just out of reach, they are thankful for what is already in their grasp.

Instead of thinking about all of the things that you might still have to do tomorrow at the end of the day, spend time being happy about the things that you did get done today…be happy about your successes today. If the events of the day did not go as you had planned and hoped, spend some time reflecting on what you might do differently the next time and allow yourself the “success” of having learned from your mistakes. Be happy that you are still here and that there will be a next time.

We may see people smiling and celebrating a success and think that their success made them happy; however, quite often it was fact that they were happy to begin with that allowed them to be successful. So, don’t worry, be happy and you will be successful, too.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Work on your dreams, too…

June 5, 2023

It’s a Monday. Time to get back to work. Today’s graphic reminds us that we need to “work on” our dreams, too.

Dreams don’t become reality without putting in the work necessary to achieve them. Too often we let dreams become illusive because we never put the work in to achieve them. They remain out there, just beyond our grasp because we believe it would be too hard or take too long to actually achieve them.

Don’t let yourself get caught in that mental trap. If you have a dream that you really want to achieve, you need to treat it like anything else that you need to get done – with planning, commitment, patience and perseverance.

As you prepare for the week ahead at your job, also plan for what steps you might be able to take this week to achieve your dream. They may be little steps or steps that are just enablers to achieving your dream, but they are steps forward, steps towards realizing the dream. If you don’t include them in your plans for how you will spend your time this week, you will look back on Friday and realize that you didn’t make any progress towards that dream. If you do plan the time and then actually do the things that you plan to do, you can look back and celebrate another step towards the dream.

The funny thing is that the time that you spend working on your dream won’t feel like work. Instead, it will feel like accomplishment. Even if you are many steps away from your end goal, you can take pride in having accomplished a few more steps forward this week.

So, get to work making a living, but also get to work on achieving your dreams.

 Have a great week ahead.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Declare Dream Bankruptcy and move on…

May 22, 2023

This morning I happened upon an article written by Casey Rosengren titled “Why You Should Give UP On Your Dreams”. Since I have written so often about pursuing your dreams, I found this to be a compelling headline for an article that I just had to read. I’m glad that I did.

I have known people (and experienced first-hand) who wasted too much time in their lives pursuing impossible or unrealistic dreams. They are often very frustrated people and usually somewhat down on themselves or those around them whom they may think are holding them back from achieving their dream. The reality, as this article points out, is that they were obsessed and pursuing an impossible dream. Have you ever known people like that?

It is important every now and then to pause, look up from the grind that one has been dedicating themselves to in pursuit of a dream, and asked the question, “Is this dream realistic or is it even achievable?” That question is easy to ask, but sometimes difficult to answer. We hate to give up on a dream; however, the pursuit of unrealistic dreams can consume the dreamer to the detriment of the rest of their normal life. Better to declare what Rosengren labeled “dream bankruptcy”, let go of the failed dream and get on with life.

I’m sure that club pro Michael Block, who competed in the PGA major golf tournament this last weekend, at one time had the dream of playing on the PGA Tour. I imagine that every club pro started out with that dream; however, for every PGA Tour player there are a thousand club pros for whom that dream did not come true. Some, like Block, may get an occasional chance to play in a PGA event and a very few may even do well as Block did. Most club pros have come to grips with that reality and have become happy being able to make a living within the golf industry. They gave up one dream, but they are living another.

So, as you start a new week, perhaps it is time for you to look at your dreams with a critical eye. Has the pursuit of your dream become an obsession? Is your dream realistic? Are there some dreams that you need to let go of?  Are there adjustments to your dream that might make them more achievable? If you achieved your dream, what then?

Read Rosengren’s article and see how it might apply to your life. Maybe it’s time to declare dream bankruptcy for some of your dreams and move on in life.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Don’t cross the line…

May 17, 2023

There is a real danger lurking in the advice from today’s inspirational graphic.

It is all too easy to let your dreams become obsessions and take over your life. What can happen when that is the case is not pretty. Families get torn apart by the decisions that an obsessed dreamer makes. Time is devoted almost solely to the dream and family and friends are left behind.

It is OK to work hard to try to achieve your dream, but is should always be within the context of your broader life and not become your life. Don’t cross the line and let the achievement of your dreams become an obsession.

The other danger is the graphic is the word “hard”. Did you ever know anyone who lived by the mantra “work hard and play hard”? People who are some focused and intense at work and at “play” never really get the benefit of play and relaxation. One cannot work hard at all aspects of life without consequences – usually health issues.

So, I guess my thought would be that the advice in the inspirational graphic today is bogus. Having dreams and working to achieve them is a part of life but must be kept in that perspective – they must be just a part of your life, not that they become your life. Don’t cross the line and allow your dreams to become obsessions.

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Posted by Norm Werner

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