Listen for the cry for help that is unspoken…

February 14, 2014

“There’s always a little truth behind ‘just kidding,’ a little emotion behind ‘I don’t care,’ a little pain behind ‘I’m OK,’ a little need behind ‘Leave me alone.’”  (Truth Quotes), which I picked up at the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

Wow, is that little saying powerful! We all tend to hide behind words like “just kidding” or “I’m OK” or “Leave me alone”, when we should be asking for help or at least letting those who are trying to help into our lives. Why is that? I suppose it all comes down to trust and letting your defenses down enough so that someone can understand the pain or the loneliness or the sorrow that you are feeling and offer their help.

dispairA key thing to understand is that most people really do want to help, but you may be so effective at masking your pain or blocking out everyone that they can’t get through your defenses to be able to help. Now, I’m not suggesting that you walk up to a perfect stranger and begin pouring your heart out about your issues or problems; but, we all have someone or a few people that we know well enough to share a problem and ask for help. Many times that is a family member, but it could just be a best friend from school or work or maybe a pastor or minister.

That last group – clergymen – is full of people who are usually both well trained and experienced at listening to people’s problems and finding ways to suggest fixes or at least to offer comfort. It’s true that they will probably give you advice that includes getting back in touch with your own religious beliefs; but those beliefs are really the foundation from which you can find the strength to make it through anything.

So, the next time you hear phrases like “just kidding” or “Leave me alone” or “Really, I don’t care”; little red flags should go up in your mind and your goal should be to understand “How can I help this person?”. Sometimes it is not just a defense mechanism on their part; sometimes it indicates that they are still in denial about whatever it was that they are claiming just doesn’t matter. Whether it’s a defensive move or they are still in denial, the first step to helping them is always to get them to talk about it with you.

Many times what they relate to you may bring up a memory of a similar incident in your life that you can usecatch a falling shild with them to show them how you dealt with it and how they might approach the problem and you did. Sometimes what they lay out may just have you saying, “Wow, I can’t even begin to understand what you must be going through.” Those are probably issues or problems that need the help of trained professionals or clergy and your help will be to try to get them to visit with someone like that that can help. That is especially true if what you are hearing sounds like a person contemplating suicide. There are trained people manning hotlines to help with that and you should try to hook them up with someone like that, rather than try to talk them off the ledge yourself. It might help if you volunteer to go with them or to make the call with them, but you should not try to act as if you are a suicide counselor.

For other issues there are also community-based programs that offer help to troubled youth or youth from troubled homes. In Oakland County, Michigan, those programs operate under the umbrella of the Youth Assistance Program. I recently wrote about a fund raising event for YA in our community on this blog. Click here to read that post, which also explained some of what the program offers.

elderly womanMany times, at the opposite end of life’s journey, it is the elderly that need someone to share some time with. They may be lonely or feel trapped in their homes because of failing health or safety concerns. Taking the time to stop by, “just to see how you’re dong” can make their day. Unlike youth, these are also people who are full of fascinating life stories sometimes gathered over impressive spans of time. They may also surprise you with their insights into issues in your life and perhaps shine a light of perspective on them that you have not seen before. In most cases, you’ll be surprised how sharp and alert those old folks are. For most of us the body starts giving out to age, but the mind never really ages.

So, keep an ear open for the catch-phrases that are really calls for help and be ready to respond. You might even listen for them in your own life; and, if you hear them, ask yourself – “What am I denying? Who can I go to for help?”

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Posted by Norm Werner

A spoonful of encouragement is powerful medicine…

February 6, 2014

“Correction does much, but encouragement does more.”  (Goethe) – from the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

As adults and parents we all sometimes forget how it felt as a child when you got correction and when you got encouragement. We tend to focus more on the correction side of things, sometimes just because it is expedient.

Ben Franklin had a saying that seems apropos here – “Tell me, and I forget.  Teach me, and I remember.  Involve me, and I learn.” You can add, Encourage me and I feel good about doing it.

helping handThink about how you interact with others at home, at work or at play. Do you find ways to encourage them or do you tend to focus upon correcting others. Just your approach to correction can be dramatically more effective, if you choose to encourage a different way of doing something rather than just criticizing the current way that you have seen from the person.

Correction is often rendered right after the person receiving it has done something or tried to do something. The key is that they tried and that is too often forgotten in the rush to correct.

Maybe what they ended up doing wasn’t exactly right to achieve whatever goal they were trying to reachfans or task that they were trying to get done. If your inclination is just to correct them, to tell them what they did wrong and perhaps explain the correct way to do it; I suppose that is better than nothing. But, maybe you could find a way to praise them for trying and encourage them to try again; perhaps with some changes that you can share with them, based upon your experiences, and certainly with your encouragement. There is a difference and it will make a difference in how they accept and use your advice. Try it some time.

Finally, here is a little saying that I thought would be an appropriate ending for today’s thoughts – “The tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body; use yours to lift someone up today.” ― Terri Ann Armstrong

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Posted by Norm Werner

Are you a multitasker?

February 5, 2014

“Multitasking is an illusion,” Arianna Huffington said in a recent speech about human capital and taking care of oneself. “You do neither well. It is actually task switching, which means we don’t get anything done and we don’t give anything 100 percent.”

multitaskerI believe that Arianna hit the nail on the head in this saying. I hear all the time about people multitasking and I’ve even consciously tried to multi-task a few times and came to the same conclusion. It’s not that one can’t have some background music going on or be inadvertently doing more than one thing at a time, it’s really about the fact that we all focus on only one thing at a time, so we are really doing rapid task switching when we think we are multi-tasking.

Once we task switch, it takes an instant for the brain to catch up on the context of where we left off and what might have changed since then,. The brain is saying, “Wait, what was I doing here?”, so it actually slows things down. If the two (or more) tasks that we are trying to do at once are rapidly changing, that can mean the brain is always trying to catch up and doesn’t really have much time to accomplish anything else. Sometimes, especially when trying to multitask and drive, it is that split second of catch up time that is the difference between avoiding a crash or getting into one. People who try to walk and text on their phones may tend to walk into things or step off the curb into the path of on-coming traffic.

So, why do we try to multitask? Our society has become very “real-time” oriented. We try to stay connected at all times and we try to stay busy at all times. When we are in the middle of something and the cell phone rings, we try to answer it immediately, even if that means taking a hand off the wheel to fish around in our pocket for the phone. No matter that the urgent call was some other multitasker standing in line at the grocery who decided to call and say, “Hey, what’s going on?”

The fact is that life can go on without you answering that call. It wasn’t that far back when we didn’t have cell phones or email or many of the other modern multitasking distractions and we somehow muddled through. And those things that we feel are so important to get done that we try to do 2-3 at a time can be prioritized such that each gets our full attention and gets done better because of that. We need to stop and ask ourselves why – why am I trying to do both of these things at once? Once you let your brain ask that question, it will figure out the order in which to do them so that they both get done well.

An ancient saying applies here – “Jack of all trades and master of none.” That’s what multitasking can do to you. So if you want to give the world the illusion that you are somehow multitasking, buy a set of noise canceling headphones and wear them while you are studying or reading. People will think you’re also listening to music (multitasking), when in reality you are focusing on the task at hand.

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Posted by Norm Werner

What are you listening to? Time to change the tune!

February 2, 2014

I ran across this little saying in a blurb about a new book recently – The Voice You Listen to Will Determine the Future You Experience.  The saying was in the advertising for the new book by Stephan Furtick titled Crash the Chatterbox. In Crash the Chatterbox, best-selling author Pastor Steven Furtick focuses on four key areas in which negative thoughts are most debilitating: insecurity, fear, condemnation, and discouragement. He asks, “What great deeds are in danger of remaining undone in your life because of lies that were planted in your past or fears that are looming in your future?”

fearI have written in the part about FUD – Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt – which is common in the business world and is often used as a delaying tactic by larger companies to keep customers from buying from smaller, more nimble companies with new products. Just throw out a little FUD about the new product or the small company and you will freeze a certain portion of the market.

I’ve also written about the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda’s – those after the fact regrets that we all get from time to time about things left undone; especially things that turn out to have been really fun for those not so timid that they didn’t even try.

Whenever I write one of these pieces, I get feedback from new readers saying they liked what I wrote and inviting me to see what they’re up to. For the most part these are from people now well on their way to dispairrecovering from some dark period in their lives; something that drove them in places in their minds from which they may still be struggling to escape.

The good news is that most of them have made it out of their person hells, or have at least begun the journey back, and they are usually now espousing a more positive, upbeat outlook on life. Most, but not all. There are still way too many people out there, many of them spewing out words of hate or darkness and despair on their blogs. I refuse to go there with them.

Whatever the situation that has occurred to drag those people into the hole that they are in needs to be confronted as the first step to recovery. No matter what it is – it is; and once you accept that, you can ask yourself the next question – “Now, what I’m I going to do from here?”

I wrote recently about the four candles story; about the candles of peace and faith and love being extinguished, and how having the candle of hope still lit enables the other three to be relit. Sometimes preceding any effort to use Hope to relight the other candles in your life it is necessary to just stop – stop the wallowing in pity and self-blame; pause the fear, uncertainty and doubt; put aside the insecurity, fear, condemnation and discouragement for the moment – and accept the fact that you are where you are and that there is nothing that you can do to change that.

The next step, at least for me, is to admit that you cannot solve everything by yourself. Just admitting that will take a large load off your shoulders. For many, having gotten into this mental state is a paralyzing experience – nothing gets done because everything is feared. Others may try and try different ways out, edge of the abyssonly to find that each door just leads them deeper into the maze of despair.

Sometimes it is right at the edge of the abyss that many finally figure out that help has been with them all along. They stop. Some get down on their knees, some just look up; but all eventually say, “Not my will but thy will be done.” They offload their troubles to the only power strong enough to bear any burden. In that moment they experience liberation from the troubles and darkness that have surrounded them. They have chosen to listen to the voice of Hope and they have used the last flicker of the candle of hope to relight the candle of faith. They will see the candles of love and peace also be quickly reignited in their lives as well when they stop doing the things that have been pushing others away.

So listen to the voice of hope. That will also let you hear the voices of faith, love and peace in your life. If you can do that, the calliope of negative noise that tries to overwhelm you from time to time will be shut outlistening toi music of your life. Think of it as if you are wearing a set of noise canceling earphones and the only thing you can hear is a playlist made up of the pleasant sounds and tunes of hope, faith, love and peace. People will wonder why you are walking around with a smile on your face all the time. Maybe you’ll even have time to read the book by Pastor Furtick – Crash the Chaterbox.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Where there is hope there can never be complete darkness…

January 27, 2014

Pastor Jack Freed, the retired pastor at my church, was a guest pastor this past weekend and preached on a theme of hope.  I get quite a bit of the inspiration for my blog posts from Jack’s daily blog posts in his blog – Jack’s Winning Words. In his sermon, he told the story of the four candles- the candles of peace, faith, love and hope.

I looked up the story he used on the internet (as you can almost everything these days).  There were lots of results returned, as the story has been told and retold many times. I chose to watch the YouTube Video about the story of the four candles that I have linked to here.

Candle Stock Photo By Arvind Balaraman, published on 15 September 2010 Stock Photo - image ID: 10020552

Candle Stock Photo By Arvind Balaraman, published on 15 September 2010 Stock Photo – image ID: 10020552

I am struck by a two things in this story…the sadness of the first three candles slowly going out; as first peace and then faith and then love were extinguished, as much caused my being ignored or cast aside in our modern world as anything else.

It sometimes may appear that no one wants peace anymore, but I suspect that for those caught up in the ongoing conflict in Syria, peace is very dear to them and something that they would welcome into their homes. For most of us the concept of peace in our lives probably does not include a stoppage of bombings and killing; but, it probably does include the secession of many disturbing things going on around us.

Faith often gets hidden because it seems not to be hip or “with it” and then eventually it gets pushed aside in the pursuit of material things or power in our very secular world. Faith also requires a humbleness that the hubris of our world is want to deride. Faith also requires a letting go of the concept that we can solve everything ourselves. It depends upon believing in a higher power that we can call upon in times of need.

Love, one would think would have stayed lit, even in the face of the loss of peace and faith; however, when peace and faith are taken away, fear often becomes one of the strongest emotions in many people’s lives and perhaps that crowds out love, too. Fear also causes isolation, so loved ones may be forgotten or pushed away.

In the end, with peace and faith and love seemingly gone we really do only have hope left to light the way out of whatever darkness in which we find ourselves.  For many people that is a darkness of the mind, sometimes called despair. It is a darkness unlike any that we have ever experienced.

I recall a trip I took with my son when he was little and we were in Indian Guides together. We spent the night in a cave. As part of that trip we took a boat ride on the underground river that flowed through the cave. When we were well underground the guide stopped the boat, which had headlights to see where we were going, and extinguished the lights. I had never been in total darkness like that before. It was scary. Then the guide lit a single match and in that total darkness there was enough light to see everything around us from that one tiny flame. Hope is like that tiny flame. As long as you keep hope lit you will not be in total darkness.

The second thing that struck me is the use of the image of the little child as the means of relighting the candles of love and faith and peace. That is an image of innocence and purity. It is the image of the ability to love without questioning or demanding. It is the image of that state of humbleness and acceptance that lets faith back in to our lives. And, it is the image of peace of the little child playing in a home or street without fear.

So watch the video (again, if you already did) and ask yourself if you have let the candles of peace or faith or love go out in your life. Maybe you have been through experiences that caused these things to be extinguished in your life and maybe things look pretty bleak; but, remember that as long as you cling to hope you are not in total darkness and you have the means of reigniting the other three candles in your life. Never lose hope. Drop the adult façade and become a child again and light the other three candles in your life. The darkness in your life will quickly drop away.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Make your dreams come true – share them…

January 22, 2014

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream.  A dream you dream together is reality.”  (John Lennon)

Lennon was a dreamer and his song Imagine became the anthem of his time. It is true that a dream not shared seldom becomes more than a dream. A dream shared with others can quickly becomes an idea or a goal and a commitment to reach that goal. It turns into a project, with milestones and measurable and one can quickly become accountable for making that dream come true. It becomes real.

dreamsSo the lesson here is to share your dreams, maybe with your life partner or maybe with workers or members of an organization. Turn it from an abstract notion into something that can be discussed and refined and debated. Embrace your dreams as aspirations, a part of your bucket list. According to the power of positive thinking theories, once you turn your dreams into goals and plans, your subconscious mind will start working to help you achieve those goals. Good things will start to happen, because you will now believe that you can accomplish your dreams and that you are on a mission to do that.

So why is it important to share your dreams? Because it is all too easy to suppress your subconscious mind by keeping your dreams in and a secret. You can convince yourself that it’s all just a silly dream and that’s there’s no way you can ever accomplish it. That’s the pessimist in you coming out. History is full of great inventions, great novels and plays, great works of art and other great accomplishments that began as someone’s dream. In many cases those dreamers had to endure initial ridicule when they first shared their dream, but eventually they found others who believed and persevered until they made that dream come true.

Many dreams are very personal and are really only meant to be shared between life partners; but, what better support system could you have than the sharing and support of your dream with the one that you love?  Sometimes achieving a dream means sacrifice and suffering on the front end, in order to get to the goal at the end. Who better to share the pain than the one who has perhaps already pledged to stick with you through good times and bad and through sickness and in health, in this case, not until death do you part, but until your dreams come true.

So, dream it, share it and make it a reality. It’s your dream; don’t dream it alone.

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Posted by Norm Werner

Fish or Cut Bait? How do you make the decisions?

January 18, 2014

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”  (Ziad Abelnour ) from the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

It seems that as I get older I find more and more excuses to avoid trying harder. It is mainly my personal trait of hating to walk away from things that I’ve begun that keeps me hanging in there on many things. I suspect that it is also the wisdom gained through much trial and error in life that gives me pause more often to think about whether I should try some things in the first place.

There is an ad running currently on TV that shows a bunch of people doing things and has the tag line that “there is no fear” amongst the people shown in the activities that they are enjoying with great abandon. I can’t even recall what the ad is for right now; but, it got me to thinking about the influence that letting fear creep into our lives has on us. Fear is probably a good deterrent to doing really stupid things. Fear is something that can be overcome through knowledge and experience. Once one has done something that they feared and gotten through it, that fear is lessened because the element of the unknown is removed. It may still be scary and dangerous and something that you will still try to avoid, but you no longer have to fear it.

women looking at direction signChoosing to walk away from something, rather than try harder may also be something that benefits from knowledge and understanding (which we eventually call wisdom). There are things that are literally impossible, no matter how hard we try. Remember that Albert Einstein defined of insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sometimes no matter how hard you try the desired outcome cannot be achieved. Choosing to walk away from those things in life just makes sense. Other things that may seem impossible can be accomplished through trying harder and perhaps trying smarter. The ability to differentiate between the two is probably what keeps us from going insane.

Insanity aside, there is also the personality trait sometimes called “bull-headedness” that keeps some people trying things that bull-headedthey should walk away from. The difference between being resolute and being stubborn is a fine line, but one that age and wisdom eventually allow most people to see more clearly. Some, of course, never “get it” and are just bull-headed to the end. Sometimes that very bull-headedness brings that end sooner than otherwise would have occurred.

So, when faced with one of those tough life decisions about trying harder or walking away; it’s important to take a few moments to reflect on what you are attempting (is it really possible) and why you have been continuing the effort up to this point – bull-headedness or intelligent perseverance. In many cases you might find that the time that has passed while you were stubbornly pursuing the goal has caused things to change so much that the goal is no longer worth the stubborn effort. In some cases taking that time for reflection on the situation may allow you to see a different path to preserver and  reach the goal; and, in some cases, it just may make sense to walk away and forget about it.

Dr. Seuss might have made a good story out of this topic…oh wait, he did – are you the North-Going Zax or a South-going Zax?

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Posted by Norm Werner

What’s left, after the new wears off?

January 8, 2014

“After a while, the newness wears off.”  (Kellie Lee) –  from my favorite daily blog, Jack’s Winning Words.

That statement is certainly true of most things in life. Sometimes we strive for things andyoung couple when we get them they are new and shiny and satisfying…for a while. Then the newness wears off and we lose interest. What wanes is the passion and commitment that was there initially. The same can sometimes happen in relationships and marriages. It takes commitment to keep those relationships from becoming stale.

An example that may make sense in this car-crazy area is to look at the car collector/enthusiast and the difference in how he treats the object of that particular passion. Collectible cars in the hands of these people never grow old or boring; the newness never wears off, because they work at it all the time. They spend hours cleaning and polishing and maintaining their treasured cars. Even cars that might have once been considered cast-offs or ugly can be beautiful in the eyes of the right car fanatic. The difference is in the commitment that they make to the car. They find many things beyond the newness of it to satisfy them and justify their commitment of time and effort.

The same is true of relationships and marriages. Many relationships and not a few marriages likely stared in the heat of passion and sexual attraction. For some that was literally all that there ever was to the relationship; and when that cools, there is nothing left upon which to base the relationship. For many couples the changes that occur in those passion-based relationships when the first child is born are enough to tear apart the bonds. It’s sad, but all too many times divorces follow on the heels of the births of children.  There is just not enough beyond the physical attraction to hold things together. Once a wife becomes a mother, too; many husbands cannot deal with no longer being the center of her universe. The newness has worn off and there may not be enough other than that to sustain the relationship.

Obviously, the car collector analogy breaks down over the concept of ownership vs. relationship. A relationship is not based upon one partner owning the other. The concept of ownership in relationships translates into possessiveness, which is usually a road to failure. Relationships are equal partnerships, with both parties expected to make commitments and put in work on the maintenance of the relationship.

That relationship commitment starts with an effort to recognize the needs of the other partner and a desire to work to meet those needs. There are tons of little things that are there every day to be recognized and done – opportunities to keep the newness in the relationship by surprising your partner with a little gesture, a loving kiss, doing a little chore without being asked or just knowing when to back off and give them the space that they may need.

fiftith annivarsaryOne thing that is fairly consistent in successful, long-term relationships is constant feedback of love and commitment between the partners. It is important to both sides to continue to hear “I love you” from the other side. Implicit in that statement is the commitment that “I’ll be here for you when you need me.” No one wants to be alone, especially in times of need.

So, what is left in a successful relationship or marriage, after the newness wears off? I would say love and commitment. After all, if one keeps polishing and maintaining the relationship it will never grow old.

(Editors disclosure – celebrating 48 years of marriage in 2014 and still discovering new things about her to love.)

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Posted by Norm Werner

Let the child out to play again…

January 3, 2014

“Another belief of mine is that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.”  (Margaret Atwood), from the Jack’s Winning Words blog.

The thing about getting older is that you really don’t age, at least in your mind. Your body may start to betray the years of wear and tear, but in your mind you can still be young, with even a little of the child in you.

I’ve oft written about retaining the ability to be playful or imaginative or just plain silly – things usually associated with youth. I think it’s important to retain that ability to get back in touch with the inner child – the child of innocence and hope and fun. I’m reminded of another saying that I’ve used before by George Bernard Shaw – “We don’t stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.”

I suspect that Shaw was right. We tend to become way too serious as adults, too concerned about what others will think of us and too focused upon achievement of material things.  Even in the times that we call “play” as adults – sports of various kids or perhaps hobbies – many focus too much upon achievement and make winning or being the best at whatever it is than just relaxing and enjoying the moment. If you’ve ever played golf with one of these overachievers, you know what I mean.

I also am coming to the conclusion that, if it were measured and charted, this serious bent would take on the look of the standard Bell Curve – very low at the beginning of life and again decreasing as we near the end. At both ends of life, many are much less serious and less constrained by rules of being an adult than we are in the middle. There is more fun at both ends of the curve.

the child within chart

At the beginning of life it’s probably because we are still innocent and have not yet been “conditioned” by the systems that we all exist within as we go through life – schools, work environments and polite society.  At the end we may become less serious because we have learned that it really isn’t all that important after all and maybe because we just don’t care to be any more. At the start such behavior may be forgiven as just being childish and at the end one may be overlooked for being an eccentric old fool.  In either case it is the one who is being childish or eccentric who has the smile on their face.

Not everyone who reaches the far end of the curve is allowed to actually enjoy that release from the need to be so serious. In order for the far end of the curve to look and feel like the beginning, another factor must also be in place – security. When we are young, most of us were probably still in the protective care of family, with our basic needs of food and shelter and security being met by the adults around them.  We are free to be children. There are many places in the world that we see on the nightly news where young people who should be acting as children are forced out on the streets trying to survive among adults as adults.

At the other end of the spectrum is supposed to be the concept of retirement, which for many now seems to be out of reach. For those fortunate enough to have planned well and saved for that day, retirement can also mean release – release from the need to continue to struggle for food, shelter and other basic needs. People who can actually get to retire are also free to be children again, if they can allow themselves to be. All too many of the elderly end up homeless or alone and barely surviving on small social security or welfare payments. The luckier ones may end up back in extended family settings, now being cared for by those that they once took care of. At lease they may have that chance, as the live-in grandparents, to find a way back to some childish releases.

As I reach the far end of the Bell Curve myself, I find more and more opportunity to let the child come out and play again and I’m happy about that. He was hiding in there for far too long as the serious business of life took control. Maybe it’s time for the disguise to come off. Now, maybe I can be the grandpa who plays with the grandchildren while the adults in the other room have their serious discussions. I’m almost there. It’s time to play again. Now where did I leave my squirt gun?

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Posted by Norm Werner

Neither look ahead or behind…

December 30, 2013

Jack FreedThis past Sunday we had a guest preacher at our church. Actually he was a very familiar face, since he is the retired, founding pastor of the congregation – Jack Freed. You may recognize the name because he is also the author of the daily blog that I often quote here – Jack’s Winning Words.

One of the themes that Jack used in his sermon was not to spend lots of time looking back at things that have already happened or trying to look ahead to predict what might happen. Instead, he suggested that you look up (well, he is a preacher, after all) to God for guidance.

Good advice, but I wanted to expand a minute on the theme of not looking back or forward. It’s that time of year when we are inundated with “The Best of 2013” articles in print and on TV shows. People seem to like having lists made by others of the top 10 things in almost any category, especially within a time frame that we can relate to. There are also lots of articles by supposedly learned pundits with prognostications about the coming year.

The writers of articles about the past have a much better track record of getting things right that the predictors of the future; although, neither group is 100% accurate. Where the stories about past events stray off into the bushes is the point at which the authors abandon the reporting of known facts and start speculating upon causes, whether they be the motivation for something bad done by someone or which factors (usually out of many) can be identified as the tipping point for an event.  I always get a kick out of the Wall Street “experts” pontificating about the causes of a market rise or fall, which, by the way, they never saw coming.

fortune tellerThat brings us to the prognosticators, the forecasters, the swamis of the future. If there is one thing that everyone should have learned by now it is that the future is unpredictable and unknowable. Yet, supposedly learned men and women continue to waste their time and ours by trying to predict what will happen in the coming year. As, we, as consumers of the media, eat this drivel up. Most of the supposed seers of the future base much of their forecast upon two things – an understanding of what has happened in the past and a belief in the continuation of trends. They look at the data about whatever it is they are forecasting and projects the trends that they see out into the future – the coming year. It’s a method that appeals to our belief in the “scientific method.”

Yet, when I think back of the past few decades there doesn’t seem to be a year that I can recall where there was not some major, disruptive event; an event that interrupted the trend lines and made them irrelevant. Whether it is a terrorist attack, a major oil leak, major weather events or something else, there are always unanticipated events that provide an inflection point for radical change in the trend lines. It is the very nature of the future that it cannot really be anticipated or forecast with any degree of certainty. So take all of those articles and shows about the coming year for what they are – a different form of reality show entertainment and nothing else.

So, if you can’t predict the future, what can you do about it? There are groups, loosely categorized as “survivalist”, who spend much of their time preparing for Armageddon, the collapse of society’s as we know them.  I think that’s a bit extreme, but their extreme view of the future is as likely as the views expressed by many other so-called futurists. Perhaps the answer is to live in the moment. Certainly, you can spend some time studying the past, to see if you can learn anything from what happened; however, it is foolhardy to spend much time pondering the future, beyond things that you have some control over, such as saving for retirement.

If you look at history and spend any time contemplating your future, you will eventually realize that no one haschoices ever lived forever and that you are unlikely to become the first to break that record. That might eventually lead you to the conclusion that Jack was preaching about, that you should look up – towards God; if there is a God. That is a question that each of us deals with eventually.

So, I’ll not spend much time looking back at 2013 (or further back) and will only as an amusement read or watch the predictions for the future. As I get older I do spend a bit more time looking up and find comfort in my belief that there is a God and a future beyond death. Try as I might, I cannot wrap my head around what it must be like for those who conclude that there is no God. To have nothing at the end of life must be a desolate feeling.

I guess that does lead to one prediction for the future that I feel relatively safe in making – we will all come to the end of life on this earth, whether in 2014 or date beyond. What lies beyond that date is pretty much up to you.

1 Comment | Inspiration | Tagged: , | Permalink
Posted by Norm Werner

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