Character is an interesting topic to discuss. It is essentially an internal trait that manifests itself in the eyes of others in the form of reputation. Abraham Lincoln put it this way –
“Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.”
Some people get reputations that are good. Others may use terms to describe these people such as dependable, reliable, hard-working, concerned, compassionate and on and on. That’s having a good reputation based upon good character. For others the resulting reputation is not so great. Terms used to
describe them may include lazy, undependable, a no-show, flaky, self-centered, selfish or diva.
So, while character and reputation oft go hand-in-hand; sometimes people may just misunderstand your actions or lack of action. You may get an undeserved reputation and you sometimes just have to let some of that run off your back. There is an old say that you need to be true to yourself. You know what’s in your heart, even if it never makes it out onto your sleeve.
John Wooden had a good take on the character/reputation duality –
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
You often hear that character is built through hard work or that it comes out of dealing with adversity. Hard work is also what shows off your character –
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: Some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses and some don’t turn up at all.” (Sam Ewing – baseball player) – seen recently on the Jack’s Winning Words Blog.
If you don’t show up at all or turn up your nose at hard work you soon gain a reputation as being a “fair weather friend” or maybe no friend at all. You become a character, rather than someone with character
Then there is the side of your character that begets a reputation for being a genuinely good person, someone who cares and acts out of that compassion; someone who is not just focused upon things and people who can advance their own cause; someone who does not take advantage just because the opportunity presents itself. Abigail Van Buren (of Dear Abbey fame) put it this way –
“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”
So; what do people think of you? Do they see you as a person of good character or just as a character? Do they see a person who works hard or a person who hardy works? Do they see your shadow or the strong, dependable truck of your tree? Do you turn up your sleeves and jump in to help or jump back and turn up your nose; or do you just not turn up at all. It’s your character and your reputation and both are up to you. John C. Geikie put it this way
“Our character is but the stamp on our souls of the free choices of good and evil we have made through life.”
Perhaps the stamps that we collect on our souls are like the hand stamps
that you get at an event venue when you leave and want to re-enter; only, in this case, we’re not trying to get back in to this venue, but to get to another, much bigger and better venue; one that we will stay in forever. So, we’d better make sure that we make the right choices and collect the right stamps on our souls. Don’t be a character; develop good character.
Have a great, character building rest of the week.
Posted by Norm Werner
ask yourself the same question as Cain did? Are you your brother’s keeper? Is it up to you to give, to volunteer, to make a difference?
and local churches provide clothing, food, shelter and services to those in
representing we the people. So it is us who are abandoning those in need when the government abandons them. If your argument is that, “government can’t afford to provide those services”; then how do expect charities to afford to do so when you abandon that responsibility? After all, charities are funded by whom – we the people.
don’t? Who will run for those offices and do that better job, if I don’t? You see, it always comes down to the individual. Who else will be inspired to take action if I don’t? Can you answer that question in your life? Do you even ask? Who will if you don’t?
scene on the stairs of the original movie Nightmare on Elm Street?)
Windows Live Mail is what I use to run my real estate business and all of my old real estate deal email files were now unavailable to me (the use of Windows Live Mail is a problem of my own making that I need to address). Admittedly it was also my own fault for not doing more research into what issue and problems come with this upgrade. Every few years I forget how Microsoft operates and how little they seem to care about the disruption that things like their upgrades and updates often cause.
software or its upgrades and updates has caused me some tech person from Microsoft will email me or comment on my post to tell me that I should have done this or that to fix the problem. My reply is that I should not have had the problem in the first place. There should be clear warnings as part of the upgrade process that let users know that various things that worked for them under their old operating system version likely won’t work after the upgrade. The upgrade does say that all of the files will still be there and that most applications will still work; but there is no guidance on apps known not to work after the upgrade.
folders files and contacts from the old system (perhaps along with calendar information), since those files are still there – maybe even a Wizard to help. Telling me after the fact how I can work some more to recover from a problem that your update or upgrade caused doesn’t cut it. That is not productive use of my time.
Those two quotes both point to the fact that the answers we seek that lead to a sense of well-being is inside of us. We must make peace with ourselves and then we will be able to find happiness.
inward to that place in your heart where peace and happiness reside. Linger there for a while and when you return find someone else to share your peace with and let them see your happiness. Maybe that will help them find out what’s in their heart, too.
What I like about this quote is that it is actionable. It doesn’t just say sit there and wait if you want an opportunity, build a door for it to knock upon. That may mean taking classes or doing the prep work that is needed to be ready. It may mean putting in the extra effort that gets noticed when opportunity arrives. It could mean doing some of the things that you really don’t like to do, because opportunity demands that they be done first.
else or maybe something like a better job. The gap represents either skills and knowledge that we don’t have or maybe just self-confidence that we lack. The gap may be relatively narrow or very wide, but we feel stuck on one side and what we want is on the other side.
So, the point is that we must make the effort. Things are not going to fall into our laps just because we sit around lamenting what we don’t have. Build a bridge or a door. Get up and do something to move towards your goals and improve your chances of success. Find joy in the effort and take to heart the words of Theodore Roosevelt –
A hug instantaneously takes us back to the time when our mother’s warm embrace seemed to solve all problems, ease all pains and make all boo-boos feel better. Those hugs may even transport us back to the warm safety of the womb and all was OK again.
not be standing there in the street with a blindfold on and a sign that says “hug me”; but you can probably still identify that stressed or distressed look in their eyes that is screaming “HUG ME” just and surely as if they had that sign. Don’t avoid them. Give them that hug and an amazing thing will happen – you’ll get a hug back and your day will be letter, too.
energy flow into them. Tears may follow, or smiles; but, whatever is next is better than what was there before. Your hug has unlocked them and let them go on. Your hug has also unlocked you. Allow yourself to feel good about it. Soon you will be seeking other opportunities to hug someone, because it makes both of your day’s better.
As young children we tend to use the whole box of crayons and we don’t worry all that much about staying within the lines either. We just experience life as it comes, without prejudices or pre-conceived notions. As we get older, “adults” around us start “explaining” things to us. They give us the rules that they say we should live by. They start taking away some of our crayons. As they work to make us “safer”, things can begin to get a bit duller. There are fewer crayon colors and they are less vibrant. As time goes on, and as we add more and more rules to our lives. Things can become more shades of gray than vibrant colors. For a few, things even lose the shades and everything becomes black and white.
lack of understanding, there grows confusion and eventually fear.
decide to throw away the crayons of people who look and talk like them, but who have a different lifestyle or perhaps just a difference of religion or even politics – the picture just got even grayer. Finally they decide that things really can be defined only as right or wrong by their standards; that there is no need for shades of gray; that everything can be colored as black and white.
ethnic restaurant visit. There is art and music, literature and language, traditions and customs that all use different crayons to render life in new colors. So get out of your grey zone of comfort; break out the crayon box and use all of the colors. What you’ll discover is a beautiful rainbow of experiences and a more colorful and satisfying life.
I’ve written a lot here about service to others as being a noble and worthwhile goal, but it is also a path to joy, as was expressed well by Rabindranath Tagore –

-responders. There are always people who jump into action to help in any emergency. They may just provide welcoming and comforting arms to hug a frightened person or they may end up covered with blood as they try to help the wounded or injured. The key is that they act. They are helpers.
news. Someone comes into work the day after breaking up a relationship. You meet a homeless person on the street.An elderly neighbor slips and falls and is laid up in their home. Someone spills their drink all over themselves at a restaurant. A lady with two small children in tow is trying to load up a big box into her car. A small child waits nervously to cross a busy street. A friend confides that he/she has a terminal disease or that they have just received an eviction notice on their home.
ls0 jump in to see if there is anything that you can do, too? You will never have to think back and say I coulda, woulda, shoulda, and then feel guilty; if you do the right thing to begin with and try to help.