Be strong…let go…

A recent post to the Jack’s Winning Words blog used this quote –

“Some of us think that holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”  (Herman Hesse) 

That quote is especially true if what one is holding on to is the past. By that, I mean holding on to the hope or wish that things could somehow be as they were in the past – in what one imagines were happier or more satisfying times. That is especially true in cases of the breakup of a relationship. The breakup of relationships, especially long relationships, are seldom symmetrical in the feelings or reasons and is often quite surprising to one of the parties. That one of the parties is surprised may actually be a part of the reason for the end of the relationship – a lack of attention or awareness of the other party’s feelings is often at the root of the problem. Be strong…let go.

Holding on to a bad job (or marriage), or continuing to put up with an abusive or offensive boss (spouce), in hopes that he/she will change is not a show of strength, but rather of weakness. It takes (and displays) much more strength to stand up for yourself by reporting such behavior. In many small businesses (and all marriages), unfortunately the business owner (spouce) is the offending boss. In those cases, the strength of your character and resolve may lead you to the conclusion that you cannot stay in that situation and that job (marriage). Be strong…let go.

For many, who have served their country in the military, letting go and putting the events that they were a part of, especially in war zones, behind them is hard, if not impossible.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is very real and not something to be dismissed. There is help available for those struggling with PTSD and it is actually a show of strength to seek that help. For many, though, it is not a struggle dealing with traumatic events; but, rather, a form of nostalgia for the buddy relationships that they developed with their comrades in the service. It is a feeling that is similar to the relationships that one might have with teammates when in school, but taken to the next level. Service overseas, away from family and familiar friends, especially when combined with the intensity of dangerous hostile situations, forges strong relationships and dependencies with buddies in arms. Many do not find that same level of intensity of feelings when they return “to the real world”. It’s hard, but they must, Be Strong…let go.

OK. Time to get real. Sitting back and saying be strong and let go is easy to say, but it is not easy to do. It starts by admitting that you are holding on to something and haven’t been able to let go. Let me quickly state that I am not saying to forget, just to find a way to let go of the fear or feeling that is holding you in its grip. Whether it is a feeling of failure or loss, a fear of consequences, a feeling of loneliness or the feeling that the “real world” is not as intense and satisfying as the world that you may have experienced in combat; you need to refocus on the here and now, put those experiences into the perspective of history, and, Be strong…let go.

Refocusing can take many forms. Sometimes it is turning your attention and energy to learning from the experience. Sometimes it is rechanneling that lost intensity into a new venture or new job. Consider it your new mission, if that fits better into your vocabulary. Sometimes is means pushing your fears into the background by focusing upon planning or researching a new job or doing what is necessary to get ready for the change that you know is inevitable (in  job or a marriage). Sometimes just having a good cry releases enough of the tension in the situation to allow you to take a less emotional, more logical approach to the problem. That release allows you to, Be strong…let go.

The bottom line is that you realize what is going on and say to yourself, “I’m not holding on to it and I’m not going to let it hold on to me.” Whatever “it” is, or was; it will no longer hold you back when you , Be strong…let go.

Have a strong and free day.

One Response to Be strong…let go…

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