The Jack’s Winning Words blog recently used this quote – “Hurt people hurt people!” (Aubrey Fontenot)
Jack went on to write about people who were bullied themselves sometimes turning into bullies and shared a “feels-good” story about a bully who was befriended by the person that he was trying to bully.
In the broader sense, people who are hurt quite often take their hurt out on others by 
trying to hurt them – they share their pain. Hurts can come in many forms – a social snub, a painful breakup of a relationship, bullying by others, the sudden loss of a loved one and many other personal tragedies that hurt. Many of those forms of hurt can be passed on to others by the one is is initially hurt. Don’t hurt, get help.
The most common reactions to a threat or hurt are fight or flight. The ones who hurt 
others because of their hurt are exercising a form of fight – they are lashing back at the world and those around them. The alternative is often flight, which can lead to withdrawal and depression in some people. Don’t hurt, get help.
So, what is a third alternate? Maybe the best thing is to get help. That help can come in the form of professional help – a counselor or therapist – or it may just come from a trusted friend with whom you can share the pain or from your pastor. In
any case, having someone to talk with about the hurt can immediately help. It takes away the loneliness aspect of the pain. Don’t hurt, get help.
If the hurt is bullying, most schools and businesses now have programs to report such behavior and get help resolving the problem. There is no shame in reporting a bully. You are helping both yourself and that person when you do so. Don’t hurt, get help.
If the problem goes beyond bullying, or maybe involves inappropriate sexual behavior and work, school, in athletics or at church; there is now heightened awareness of those issues and certainly no longer any social stigma involved with being brave enough to 
report it to authorities. There is no need to remain quiet or to be embarrassed about reporting someone for inappropriate behavior. The #MeToo era has removed the stigma and ushered in an era of empowerment for victims. Don’t hurt, get help.
The loss of a loved one can often result in the person who is left behind becoming withdrawn and maybe even depressed about life without the departed. The pain of the loss is real and It needs to be acknowledged. A period of grief is natural; however, life goes on and it is important to put the memory of the person in its proper place in your mind and move on. Often people find the help that they need after 
suffering the loss of a loved one in their faith. Your pastor may be the best person to turn to for that help. Don’t hurt, get help.
What all of these examples have in common is that they do not involve you turning your hurt into pain for others. They don’t involve lashing out or bullying others. They don’t involve sharing your pain or loss by hurting others; and they are not about withdrawing into a dark place. They do all involve getting help with the pain. Don’t hurt, get help.
A first step to getting help is often admitting to yourself that you need help. A few quiet
moments spent in prayer is often the best time to make that admission to God and to yourself. Perhaps something as simple as, “God, I cannot deal with this alone. Give me the courage and strength to seek the help that I need to deal with this hurt.” With God at your side it is much easier to seek the help that you need. Don’t hurt, get help.
A surprising outcome for those who get the help that they need to deal with a hurt is that many end up helping others. They find satisfaction and fulfillment working with people who are going through what they went through and passing on the message. You often see news stories about parents who lost a child to some accident or disease or other 
cause creating foundations to work to prevent or cure those causes of loss and pain. They have progressed beyond getting help to giving help. They are living the message – Don’t hurt, get help.
For them the message has become Helped people, help people.
Posted by Norm Werner 
the national level it’s about large scale disasters or foreign wars (trade wars or shooting wars) or plane crashes or other bad news.
How does one focus on the good? It begins by resolving to look for the good – in situations and in people. There are many situations that are real or perceived setbacks in life – things that didn’t go as planned or as hoped. It is too easy to just see the bad in those situations and get down on life or on yourself. However, if you look hard enough there is good in even those situations, usually to be found in what didn’t happen or in the knowledge that you have gained.
know who has visible tattoos or maybe a nose ring or perhaps just purple colored hair. Picture that and get a feel for your immediate reaction. Was it “Oh, wow, that’s so cool. I want to get to know this person better” or did you have a defensive reaction that caused you to shrink back from meeting that person? How will you be able to find the good in that person if you can’t even bring yourself to meet them and look for it?
in all things and in all people today.” At least you will start out the day looking for the good. You may have to remind yourself several times during the day and maybe even remember that “at least nobody died” when you have a setback; but, I’m pretty sure that you’ll find some good in the things that occur and the people that you meet if you focus upon it. And that’s a good thing.
their cheery, “Hello.” It might just be that you were distracted and lost in thought when they encountered you or perhaps you were thinking about something unpleasant. Whatever the reason, you didn’t have a smile on your face or in your voice.
woke up again this morning. The alternative might be worthy of a frown. Second, the things and people that God has put into your life again surround you. Surely, those loved ones that you still have bring a smile to your face and fond memories of those that have departed can add to the reasons to smile. Perhaps starting your day with a brief prayer of thanks to God will put that smile on your face. Whatever it take, try putting that smile on each day before you venture out. Your day will go much better for that effort made first thing in the morning.
same attitude and that leads not only to a more pleasant day, but often to a much more productive and successful day. Most of us prefer doing business with smiling friendly people, rather than some sourpuss sales clerk or co-worker who seems put out by having to talk to us.
of the things that He has provided. Ask that He stay with you during the day to provide you with what you need. Then, put on a smiley face and let it seep into your voice.
to and usually simplistic. Most people grew up playing sports of some sort and can quickly relate to how “life is like (fill in your favorite sports metaphor here). Many sports involve a ball of some sort and size, so metaphors that involve a ball are common. When we succeed, we got the ball over the goal line or in the goal; however, when we fail we dropped the ball. What will you do with the ball?
Having the ball is much different from just being a spectator and watching the ball. Some tend to approach life as if they are a spectator. They sit back and watch rather than take the ball and do something with it. Yet life often thrusts the ball into our hands and we are forced to do something with it. We can pull back and drop the ball or we can take it across the goal line. What will you do with the ball?
your life in such a way that you get the ball over the goal line or you can fumble the ball. Just as the football player with the ball may have to break a few tackles to get to the goal line, you will likely have to endure some obstacles and things that want to bring you down on your way to the end zone. Hold strong to your faith (the ball) and you will reach the goal line. Your end zone is eternal life and you have the ball. What will you do with the ball?
So, to slightly modify Mr. Rickey’s quote – The man with faith is responsible for what happens to that faith. What will you do with your faith?
prejudices. Maybe it was something that we were told as a child by our parents about “those kinds of people”, or perhaps we saw something on the news about one bad actor from a particular group and we generalized it to cover the entire group. No matter how or when this “knowledge” was accumulated, it now serves only as bad mental baggage that needs to be reexamined and discarded.
even met? So, I’m admitting that I haven’t been able to completely discard those old preconceived notions and prejudices, but I am at least able to recognize them as such and modify my behavior to give me the chance to prove them wrong once again. The reward has been meeting and getting to know some really great people that I otherwise might have avoided.
immediate reaction. If you can do that, you can take the next step of examining the situation for any probable cause for that reaction. Most of the time there is no probable cause to be afraid or to immediately dislike someone, just because of his or her appearance; and, after all, that is all that you have to go on initially. Give the other person (and yourself) the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to be themselves. Be strong and throw out your old thoughts and welcome new people into your life. You might be pleasantly surprised at what great people are out there, just beyond your prejudices and fears.
divide, where compromise, which could lead to contentment, is considered failure. The two political parties have abandoned any search for a middle ground on most issues and seek only to win, to beat the other side. We saw that locally this past week were the scrum to choose a successor to the late L. Brooks Paterson turned nasty and completely partisan from the get-go.
carry with it the baggage that the current parties have accumulated of late. It would also allow those who are uncomfortable with the extreme on both sides to fins anew home that perhaps with which they could become content. I suspect that quite a few who call themselves Republicans or Democrats would welcome a party with less strident positions on the issues and one which relied more on common sense than the political litmus tests that the current parties use on issues.
unhappy with yourself if you didn’t give it your best shot. If you made your best effort, but that fell short of winning, you can still feel good about yourself. In sports, even competitive athletes are often happy if they achieve a person best – they know that they did the best that they can for that event or race. Maybe you can look at the events in your life the same way. If you’ve achieved your person best, be happy, celebrate your achievement, use that experience to plan way to do better next time. Stop and smell the violets. Find contentment.
suspect that he had a broader application in mind for mankind in general. Lou is a devout Catholic and often speaks in motivational talks about the higher calling of man to serve others and God.
was beaten and robbed, rather than be the Good Samaritan (Luke 10: 25-37). After all, you have issues of your own to deal with, so you do not have time to stop and help.
or pulling someone from a car wreck moments before the car explodes into flames. Those “heroes” were not being ordinary. They did not decide to pass by on the other side of the road. They listened to the voice of God and helped. Did you drive by the same scene and keep on going, even though you thought, “Oh, those poor people, I hope that they are alright”? How ordinary of you.
You don’t have to have great wealth to help. You don’t have to have great power to help. You just have to have compassion and resolve that you will make a difference by stopping and helping, instead of passing by on the other side of the road. Don’t let yourself be ordinary. That’s not what God put you here for.
“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.” (Jim Rohn)
think that the most important things that we can do with our time is to use it to be doing something. I find that when I’m busy time passes relatively fast and I’m not concerned about that, because, well, I’m busy.
my time. Add to that the volunteer work that I do for the Chamber of Commerce, my church and the Milford Historical Society, and I really have little time left to be bored. Like the clock, I pass my time by keeping my hands busy. So, rather than worry about how much time I have left; I focus on using that time to get things done. My time is too valuable to waste. You cannot get more time, but you can get more done in the time that you have.
organizations in which you can help by doing what you are able to do. You may end up making phone calls to shut-ins to see if they need anything or perhaps you can read to someone who can no longer see well enough to read. Maybe you can schedule other workers who are more able or perhaps enter data into a computer. Maybe just being there to greet and talk with visitors is what they need. So, look around your neighborhood or area and find those volunteer jobs that need to be done. Whatever it ends up being; you are doing and not just being. You are busy.
population. They tactics used by those agents aimed at increasing racial tensions and heightening fears about the impact of immigration. They were successful to the extent that Facebook and other sites have had to take specific actions to limit their access to accounts and monitor their attempts to plant fake news or to slant the coverage of real news.
evolved in modern times. We have become an audience accustomed to sound-bites, tweets and YouTube posts. There seems to be no time to stop and evaluate the content, so we just accept it and sometimes act upon it. We re-tweet or re-post or take to the streets with signs because we read about a threat on social media. Never mind that the national news outlets or the big newspapers may be debunked the false reports or posts. Anyway, We are told that they are purveyors of “Fake News”; so, let’s believe a Facebook post from someone that we don’t know, instead.
bad actors thrive upon exploiting. There is still a strong sense of right and wrong within the hearts of most Americans and a desire to do what is right, rather than acquiesce to what we know is wrong. We may be frustrated that we cannot seem to resolve some of the big issues that are facing us as a society, but that does not mean that we will drift off to the edges of reason and join the bigots or zealots that define the extremes in today’s political and social environment.
Just listen closely for the voices of reason and compassion and concern amongst all of the shouting and accusing and finger-pointing of modern politics. Centrists exist in both political parties and they deserve your attention and support.
agents are trying to use to manipulate us. We are a better people than that. We can make up our own minds – thank you very much. Let’s get ready to vote in 2020.
As I thought about Chesterton’s quote, going to church on Sundays came to mind and the saying morphed into – “The self-righteous sees the church service. The faithful sees the face of Jesus.”
understand what was going on was a big part of the mystery and drama that the clergy wanted to maintain. It was considered to be part of the show that the congregation has come to see. What do you see?
– “For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” The faithful came not to be entertained, but to see Jesus. What do you see?
see. They not only notice, but also take it in and savor it. It is often much the same with church. One can just get through the service, mindlessly mouthing the words of the songs and blankly staring ahead during the sermon; or one can be in the moment, savoring the time that they have to be with Jesus in worship. For those who open their hearts to God, church is a time to see what you came to see – the face of Jesus in your midst. What do you see?
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